Conventional sex: Difference between revisions

{{short description|Conventional sex without fetish, kink or BDSM elements}}

{{more citations needed|date=December 2022}}

'''Conventional sex''', colloquially known as '''vanilla sex''', is [[Human sexual activity|sexual behavior]] that is within the [[normal (behaviour)|range of normality]] for a culture or subculture, and typically involves sex which does not include elements of [[BDSM]], [[kink (sexual)|kink]], [[Sexual fetishism|fetishism]], and/or happens within a marriage or relationship.

What is regarded as conventional sex depends on cultural and subcultural norms. Among heterosexual couples in the [[Western world]], for example, conventional sex often refers to [[sexual intercourse]] in the [[missionary position]].{{cn|date=May 2019}} It can also describe [[penetrative sex]] which does not have any element of BDSM, kink or fetish.<ref name="Loynaz2021">{{Cite thesis|last=Loynaz|first=Annette|date=2021|title=Exploring Personality and Sexual Behavior: BDSM and Vanilla Practices as Complementary Lenses|type=Doctoral dissertation|publisher=San Francisco State University}}</ref>

The ''[[BMJ|British Medical Journal]]'' regards conventional sex between homosexual couples as "sex that does not extend beyond affection, [[mutual masturbation]], and [[Oral sex|oral]] and [[anal sex]]."<ref name ="gay vanilla sex">{{cite journal |last1= Bell |first1=Robin |date=13 February 1999 |title=Homosexual men and women |journal=[[BMJ]] |volume=318 |issue=7181 |pages=452–5 |doi=10.1136/bmj.318.7181.452 |pmid=9974466 |pmc=1114912}}</ref> In addition to mutual masturbation (including [[Non-penetrative sex#Manual sex|manual sex]]), penetrative sexual activity among same-sex pairings is contrasted by [[Non-penetrative sex|non-insertive]] acts such as [[intercrural sex]], [[frot]] and [[tribadism]], although tribadism has been cited as a common but rarely discussed sexual practice among lesbians.<ref name="Carroll">{{cite book |last=Carroll |first=Janell L. |title=Sexuality Now: Embracing Diversity |publisher=Cengage Learning |year=2009 |isbn=978-0-495-60274-3 |edition=Third |location=Belmont, Calif. |page=629 |oclc=426044136 }}</ref><ref name="Halberstam">{{cite book |first=Judith |last=Halberstam |title=Female Masculinity |oclc=39235591 |publisher=Duke University Press |location=Durham, N.C. |year=1998 |page=[https://archive.org/details/femalemasculinit00judi/page/61 61] |access-date=2010-12-19 |url=https://archive.org/details/femalemasculinit00judi|url-access=registration |quote=Lesbians tribadism. |isbn=978-0-8223-2243-6 }}</ref>

The term "[[Plain vanilla|vanilla]]" in "vanilla sex" leverages the [[Polysemy|polysemic]] nature of the term, meaning both literally "vanilla" or "conventional", depending on the context. <ref name="Tiidenberg2023">{{Cite journal|last1=Tiidenberg|first1=K.|last2=Paasonen|first2=S.|last3=Sundén|first3=J.|last4=Vihlman|first4=M.|date=2023|title=Vanilla normies and fellow pervs: Boundary work on sexual platforms|journal=Sexualities|doi=10.1177/13634607231215763|url=https://doi.org/10.1177/13634607231215763|doi-access=free}}</ref>

It originally derives from the use of [[vanilla]] extract as the basic flavoring for [[ice cream]], and by extension, meaning plain or conventional. In relationships where only one partner enjoys less conventional forms of sexual expression, the partner who does not enjoy such activities as much as the other is often referred to as the ''vanilla partner''. As such, it is easy for them to be erroneously branded unadventurous in sexual matters.<ref>{{cite book |title=Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures |last=Nichols |first=Margaret |editor1-first=Peggy J. |editor1-last= Kleinplatz |editor2-first=Charles |editor2-last=Moser |year=2006 |publisher=Harrington Park Press |location=New York |chapter=Psychotherapeutic Issues With 'Kinky' Clients: Clinical Problems, Yours and Theirs |oclc=61758612 |pages=281–300 |chapter-url=http://ipgcounseling.com/issues_with_kinky_clients.html |access-date=9 November 2011|isbn=978-1-56023-639-9 }} Paper on the difficulties facing "vanilla partners". {{Google books|iHkT5Eyj7H0C|Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures|page=281}}.</ref> Through exploration with their partner, it may be possible for a more vanilla-minded person to discover new facets of their sexuality. As with any sexually active person, they may find their preferences on the commonly termed "vanilla-kink spectrum" are sufficient for their full satisfaction.<ref name="Sprinkles">{{Cite book|url=https://books.google.com/books/about/With_Sprinkles_on_Top.html?id=olWzEAAAQBAJ|title=With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect|isbn=978-1649630346|publisher=Sounds True|last=Goerlich|first=Stefani|author-link=Stefani Goerlich|date=2023}}</ref>

{{Spoken Wikipedia|Vanilla_sex.ogg|date=2006-04-24}}

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