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==== Review from Hylian Auree ==== |
==== Review from Hylian Auree ==== |
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Reading through it now and making changes to the prose as I go. Following Julian's comment above, the writing in parts of the MH, while understandably so given Alex's complex cyclogenesis, is quite technical. I had difficulties understanding the narrative at times, so I imagine those who are less-versed in severe weather might not fare well either. [[User:Hylian Auree|<b style="font-family: charter BT; color: black">Auree</b>]] <small>[[Special:Contributions/Hylian Auree|<sup style="color: #12ceb2;">★</sup>]][[User Talk:Hylian Auree|<span style="color: #00705f;">★</span>]]</small> 17:36, 20 September 2019 (UTC) |
Reading through it now and making changes to the prose as I go. Following Julian's comment above, the writing in parts of the MH, while understandably so given Alex's complex cyclogenesis, is quite technical. I had difficulties understanding the narrative at times, so I imagine those who are less-versed in severe weather might not fare well either. [[User:Hylian Auree|<b style="font-family: charter BT; color: black">Auree</b>]] <small>[[Special:Contributions/Hylian Auree|<sup style="color: #12ceb2;">★</sup>]][[User Talk:Hylian Auree|<span style="color: #00705f;">★</span>]]</small> 17:36, 20 September 2019 (UTC) |
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*"The next day, an anomalous blocking pattern prevented the disturbance from continuing along a seasonal northeasterly track." – "Anomalous blocking pattern" is quite jargony, and "seasonal" has an unclear meaning. Since tropical disturbances are exceedingly rare (unseasonal) during this time, can we really consider a northeasterly track to be "seasonal"? May I suggest "The next day, an unseasonable air pattern blocked the disturbance from continuing along its northeasterly path." I chose "air" because it's simplest in its conveyance, but alternatives are welcome (maybe sth with "steering" or "current"). |
*<s>"The next day, an anomalous blocking pattern prevented the disturbance from continuing along a seasonal northeasterly track." – "Anomalous blocking pattern" is quite jargony, and "seasonal" has an unclear meaning. Since tropical disturbances are exceedingly rare (unseasonal) during this time, can we really consider a northeasterly track to be "seasonal"? May I suggest "The next day, an unseasonable air pattern blocked the disturbance from continuing along its northeasterly path." I chose "air" because it's simplest in its conveyance, but alternatives are welcome (maybe sth with "steering" or "current"). </s> |
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* "Instead, the storm turned east-southeast into a region slightly more favorable for subtropical development." – This is the first time we mention '''subtropical''' development (tropical cyclogenesis is mentioned earlier). Can we have some sort of explanation here why the NHC was calling for this subtropical, instead of the former tropical, development, or something to link the two ideas? |
* "Instead, the storm turned east-southeast into a region slightly more favorable for subtropical development." – This is the first time we mention '''subtropical''' development (tropical cyclogenesis is mentioned earlier). Can we have some sort of explanation here why the NHC was calling for this subtropical, instead of the former tropical, development, or something to link the two ideas? |
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* "Concurrently, a warm-core seclusion at the upper-levels marked the transition to a more symmetric structure," – Can you simplify this? |
* "Concurrently, a warm-core seclusion at the upper-levels marked the transition to a more symmetric structure," – Can you simplify this? |
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* "Slight weakening took place on January 11." – This is a terse, somewhat abrupt ending to the paragraph, and disconnectedly contrasting with the preceding information about warmer (more favorable) waters. |
* <s> "Slight weakening took place on January 11." – This is a terse, somewhat abrupt ending to the paragraph, and disconnectedly contrasting with the preceding information about warmer (more favorable) waters. </s> |
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* "frontal boundaries separated from the core of the cyclone;" – "separated" implies the boundaries existed prior, but this is the first time we encounter this (somewhat jargony) term. |
* "frontal boundaries separated from the core of the cyclone;" – "separated" implies the boundaries existed prior, but this is the first time we encounter this (somewhat jargony) term. |
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* "alongside the system being co-located with an upper-level low, indicated its transition into a subtropical cyclone by 18:00 UTC" – Why is being co-located with an upper-level low an indication for subtropical formation, and why is it singled out? Can we maybe expound here and include this into the list of factors in the previous sentence? |
* <s>"alongside the system being co-located with an upper-level low, indicated its transition into a subtropical cyclone by 18:00 UTC" – Why is being co-located with an upper-level low an indication for subtropical formation, and why is it singled out? Can we maybe expound here and include this into the list of factors in the previous sentence?</s> |
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* "Though relatively shallow, owing to the seasonally low level of the tropopause,[nb 1] convection was deemed intense enough for classification." This reads as an afterthought that is needlessly divergent in its technicality, and can also be included more simply in the list of factors/structural changes (perhaps as "intense albeit shallow convection"). |
* "Though relatively shallow, owing to the seasonally low level of the tropopause,[nb 1] convection was deemed intense enough for classification." This reads as an afterthought that is needlessly divergent in its technicality, and can also be included more simply in the list of factors/structural changes (perhaps as "intense albeit shallow convection"). |
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* "The trough that previously enabled the sharp southward turn later steered Alex to the east-northeast and eventually north-northeast." – Current phrasing puts (presumably unwanted) emphasis on the trough over the change in movement, and this is the first time we read that its previous turn was a sharp one. |
* "The trough that previously enabled the sharp southward turn later steered Alex to the east-northeast and eventually north-northeast." – Current phrasing puts (presumably unwanted) emphasis on the trough over the change in movement, <s>and this is the first time we read that its previous turn was a sharp one. </s> |
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* "An eye feature soon appeared within a complex of several banding features, marking intensification.[22] The 20 mi (25 km) wide feature cleared out early on January 14 and was surrounded by a ring of −75 °F (−60 °C) cloud tops." – Technically fine, but for the sake of layman comprehension, can we somehow link the eye feature to its location at the core/center of the system, especially in the context of "cleared out"? |
* "An eye feature soon appeared within a complex of several banding features, marking intensification.[22] The 20 mi (25 km) wide feature cleared out early on January 14 and was surrounded by a ring of −75 °F (−60 °C) cloud tops." – Technically fine, but for the sake of layman comprehension, can we somehow link the eye feature to its location at the core/center of the system, especially in the context of "cleared out"? |
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* "Becoming increasingly tilted due to shear" – Can we reword this to better explain what "tilted" means here? How does shear cause such a tilt? |
* "Becoming increasingly tilted due to shear" – Can we reword this to better explain what "tilted" means here? How does shear cause such a tilt? |
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| Toolbox |
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Hurricane Alex in January 2016 was one of the more anomalous hurricanes on record within the Atlantic basin. Its development marked the third-known occurrence of a hurricane-force tropical cyclone in January, with records extending back to 1851. The article is a bit more technical than would normally be expected, but there are hopefully enough explanations for lay readers to understand. The most notable aspects of this system is the meteorology of it, so that's where the focus lies. It did have some impact to people in Bermuda and the Azores; however, it was relatively minor.
I've gone ahead and looked for any additional information that may have arose in the years since I initially wrote the article and added the little I found. As such, this the article is as comprehensive as can be. It's been a few years since my last nomination, so apologies if I'm a bit rusty. ~ Cyclonebiskit (chat) 18:58, 24 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
All in all, it is a very good article. My comments are relatively minor, and hopefully aren't too arduous to complete. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:03, 29 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Image license and use seems OK to me. ALT text also looks fine. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 15:41, 29 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Still a little rough around the edges and perhaps overly technical in spots, but I suppose that's just the nature of this sort of article – the vast majority of readers are already going to be weather enthusiasts who already know most of the jargon. No-doubt the most comprehensive account of the storm available anywhere, so I'll be happy to support after some minor changes. – Juliancolton | Talk 03:50, 6 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
One other thing I noticed: you specify the precursor system affected Bermuda on January 8, but then include a three-day rainfall total. – Juliancolton | Talk 13:34, 6 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Just a note that this has been on the Urgents list for a while and really needs a bit more substantive review to push it over the line. Maybe you can ping some editors active in the topic area? --Laser brain (talk) 13:37, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Reading through it now and making changes to the prose as I go. Following Julian's comment above, the writing in parts of the MH, while understandably so given Alex's complex cyclogenesis, is quite technical. I had difficulties understanding the narrative at times, so I imagine those who are less-versed in severe weather might not fare well either. Auree ★★ 17:36, 20 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
That's it for now. Will do a source review and spot-check next. Auree ★★ 17:36, 20 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Note: I can read Portuguese.
Spot-checks suggest the article is factually accurate without close paraphrasing or copyvio. Auree ★★ 22:50, 20 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
