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'{{Short description|Husband of an adulterous wife}} {{About|the term|the 1997 novel by Kiran Nagarkar|Cuckold (novel)|the 2015 South African film|Cuckold (film)}} {{pp-semi-indef|small=yes}} {{pp-pc1|small=yes}} {{pp-move-indef|small=yes}} [[File:The Jealous Husband 1847.png|thumb|''The Jealous Husband'', a [[genre painting]] by [[Cornelius Krieghoff]] depicting a cuckolded husband.]] {{Polyamory sidebar}} A '''cuckold''' is the husband of an [[adulterous]] wife; the wife of an adulterous husband is a [[cuckquean]]. In [[biology]], a cuckold is a male who unwittingly invests [[parental investment|parental effort]] in juveniles who are not genetically his offspring.<ref name="Steven M 2006">{{cite book|editor1=Steven M. Platek|editor2=Todd K. Shackelford|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=_EVg0w7w6gUC&q=cuckoldry|title=Female Infidelity and Paternal Uncertainty: Evolutionary Perspectives on Male Anti-Cuckoldry Tactics|publisher=[[Cambridge University Press]]|location=New York|year=2006|isbn=9781139458047}}</ref> A husband who is aware of and tolerates his wife's infidelity is sometimes called a '''wittol''' or '''wittold'''.<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Davidson|first=Thomas|title=Whitlow to Wyvern|url=https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Chambers's_Twentieth_Century_Dictionary_1908/Whitlow_Wyvern|journal=Chambers's Twentieth Century Dictionary 1908}}</ref> == History of the term == [[File:Order-cuckoldry-ca1815-French-satire.jpg|thumb|{{circa|1815}} French satire on cuckoldry, which shows both men and women wearing horns]] The word ''cuckold'' derives from the [[cuckoo]] bird, alluding to its habit of laying its eggs in other birds' nests.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=cuckold|title=Online Etymology Dictionary|access-date=19 December 2016}}</ref><ref name=BBC_2009>{{cite news|last=Williams|first=Janet|title=Cuckolds, Horns and Other Explanations|url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8133615.stm|access-date=11 February 2013|newspaper=BBC News|date=4 July 2009}}</ref> The association is common in medieval [[folklore]], literature, and [[iconography]]. English usage first appears about 1250 in the [[medieval debate poetry |medieval debate poem]] ''[[The Owl and the Nightingale]]''. It was characterized as an overtly blunt term in [[John Lydgate]]'s "Fall of Princes", {{circa|lk=no|1440}}.<ref name="Hughes2015">{{cite book|author=Geoffrey Hughes|title=An Encyclopedia of Swearing: The Social History of Oaths, Profanity, Foul Language, and Ethnic Slurs in the English-speaking World|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=O3-sBwAAQBAJ&pg=PT191|date=26 March 2015|publisher=Taylor & Francis|isbn=978-1-317-47677-1|pages=191–}}</ref> Shakespeare's writing often referred to cuckolds, with several of his characters suspecting they had become one.<ref name=BBC_2009 /> The word often implies that the husband is deceived; that he is unaware of his wife's unfaithfulness and may not know until the arrival or growth of a child plainly not his (as with cuckoo birds).<ref name=BBC_2009 /> The female equivalent ''[[cuckquean]]'' first appears in English literature in 1562,<ref>{{cite book|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=lfSC4fpiW64C&q=Cuckquean&pg=PA301|title=Love, Sex, and Marriage: A Historical Thesaurus|first=Julie|last=Coleman|date=1 January 1999|publisher=Rodopi|isbn=9042004339|access-date=22 November 2016|via=Google Books}}</ref><ref>{{cite book|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=2XtWDhgljvkC&q=Cuckquean&pg=PA339|title=A Dictionary of Sexual Language and Imagery in Shakespearean and Stuart Literature: Three Volume Set Volume I A-F Volume II G-P Volume III Q-Z|first=Gordon|last=Williams|date=13 September 2001|publisher=A&C Black|isbn=9780485113938|access-date=22 November 2016|via=Google Books}}</ref> adding a female suffix to the ''cuck''. A related word, first appearing in 1520, is ''wittol'', which substitutes ''wit'' (in the sense of knowing) for the first part of the word, referring to a man aware of and reconciled to his wife's [[infidelity]].<ref>Oxford English Dictionary</ref> ===''Cuck''=== <!--[[Cuck (slang)]] redirects here--> {{Further|Cuckservative}} An [[abbreviation]] of ''cuckold'', the term ''cuck'' has been used by the [[alt-right]] to attack the [[masculinity]] of an opponent. It was originally aimed at other [[conservatism|conservatives]], whom the alt-right saw as "insufficiently committed to racism and anti-Semitism", according to ''[[The New York Times]]''.<ref name=TNYT>{{cite news |work=The New York Times |title=Alt-Right, Alt-Left, Antifa: A Glossary of Extremist Language |last=Stack |first=Liam |date=August 15, 2017 |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/15/us/politics/alt-left-alt-right-glossary.html |url-access=limited}}</ref> == Metaphor and symbolism == [[File:A flag used in the English Civil War referring to the Earl of Essex's notorious marital problems.jpg|thumb|A flag used in the [[English Civil War]] by [[Horatio Cary]] referring to the [[Robert Devereux, 3rd Earl of Essex|Earl of Essex]]'s notorious marital problems]] In Western traditions, cuckolds have sometimes been described as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns". This is an allusion to the [[Rut (mammalian reproduction)|mating habits of stag]]s, who forfeit their mates when they are defeated by another male.<ref>E. Cobham Brewer 1810–1897. Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. 1898.</ref> In [[Italy]] (especially in [[Southern Italy]], where it is a major personal offence), the insult is often accompanied by the [[sign of the horns]]. In [[French language|French]], the term is "{{lang|fr|porter des cornes}}". In German, the term is "{{lang|de|jemandem Hörner aufsetzen}}", or "{{lang|de|Hörner tragen}}", the husband is "{{lang|de|der gehörnte Ehemann}}". In Brazil and Portugal, the term used is "{{lang|pt|corno}}", meaning exactly "horned". The term is quite offensive, especially for men, and {{lang|pt|cornos}} are a common subject of jokes and anecdotes. [[François Rabelais|Rabelais]]'s ''Tiers Livers'' of [[Gargantua and Pantagruel]] (1546) portrays a horned fool as a cuckold.<ref>{{cite book|last=LaGuardia|first=David P.|title=Intertextual Masculinity in French Renaissance Literature|publisher=Ashgate Publishing|location=Franham, UK|year=2008|page=133}}</ref> In [[Molière]]'s ''[[The School for Wives|L'École des femmes]]'' (1662), a man named Arnolphe (see below) who mocks cuckolds with the image of the horned buck (''becque cornu'') becomes one at the end. In [[Chinese language|Chinese]] usage, the cuckold (or wittol) is said to be『{{linktext|lang=zh|戴綠帽子}}』{{transl|zh|dài lǜmàozi}}, translated into English as 'wearing the green hat'. The term is an allusion to the [[sumptuary law]]s used from the 13th to the 18th centuries that required males in households with prostitutes to wrap their heads in a green scarf (or later a hat).<ref>{{cite book|last=Sommer|first=Matthew Harvey|title=Sex, Law, and Society in Late Imperial China|publisher=Stanford University Press|year=2002|location=Stanford|page=218|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=E6ClbegXuWUC|isbn=0-8047-4559-5|access-date=2008-07-27}}</ref> ==Associations== A saint Arnoul(t), Arnolphe, or Ernoul, possibly [[Arnold of Soissons]], is often cited as the [[patron saint]] of cuckolded husbands, hence the name of Molière's character Arnolphe.<ref>{{cite book|author=Brian Joseph Levy|title=The Comic Text: Patterns and Images in the Old French Fabliaux|year=2000|isbn=9042004290}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal|author=William Beck|title=Arnolphe or Monsieur de la Souche?|journal=The French Review|volume=42|issue=2|date=December 1968|jstor=386804|page=255}}</ref> The Greek hero [[Actaeon]] is often associated with cuckoldry, as when he is turned into a stag, he becomes "horned".<ref>{{cite book|title=Oxford English Dictionary|edition=3rd|year=2010|url=https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/273809}}</ref> This is alluded to in Shakespeare's ''[[The Merry Wives of Windsor|Merry Wives]]'', [[Robert Burton (scholar)|Robert Burton]]'s ''[[Anatomy of Melancholy]]'', and others.<ref>{{cite book|author=John Stephen Farmer|title=Slang and Its Analogues Past and Present|year=1903|url=https://www.google.com/books/edition/Slang_and_Its_Analogues_Past_and_Present/XrJZAAAAMAAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=acteon&pg=PA15&printsec=frontcover|page=15}}</ref> == Cross-cultural parallels == In Islamic cultures, the related term ''dayouth'' ({{lang-ar|دَيُّوث}}) can be used to describe person who is viewed as apathetic or permissive with regards to [[unchaste]] behaviour by female relatives or a spouse, or who lacks the demeanor (''[[ghayrah]]'') of paternalistic protectiveness.<ref>Sallo, Ibrahim Khidhir. "A Sociolinguistic Study of Sex Differences in Mosuli Arabic in Mosul-Iraq."</ref><ref>{{Cite book|last=Shahawi|first=Majdi Muhammad Ash|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=3dJNBQAAQBAJ&q=ghairah+dayyuth&pg=PT40|title=Marital Discord - Causes & Cures|date=2004|publisher=Darussalam Publishers|language=en}}</ref> Variations on the spelling, including ''dayyuth'', ''dayuuth'', or ''dayoos.''<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Semerdjian|first=Elyse|date=2012-03-01|title='Because he is so tender and pretty': sexual deviance and heresy in eighteenth-century Aleppo|journal=Social Identities|volume=18|issue=2|pages=175–199|doi=10.1080/13504630.2012.652844|s2cid=145004098|issn=1350-4630}}</ref> The term has been criticised for its use as a [[pejorative]] while also suggestive of acceptance of vain [[Paternalism|paternalistic]] gender roles, stigmatization of [[sexuality]] or overprotective [[intrusiveness|intrusive]] sexual gatekeeping.<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Hamamra|first=Bilal Tawfiq|date=2018-04-03|title=The Containment of Female Linguistic, Spatial, and Sexual Transgression in Arden of Faversham: A Contemporary Palestinian Reading|journal=Comparative Literature: East & West|language=en|volume=2|issue=2|pages=88–100|doi=10.1080/25723618.2018.1546474|issn=2572-3618|doi-access=free}}</ref> == Cuckoldry as a fetish == [[File:QoS_tattoo.jpg|thumb|Queen of Spades tattoo often shows preference for cuckoldry<ref>{{cite web |title=Urban Dictionary: Queen of Spades |url=https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Queen%20of%20Spades |website=Urban Dictionary |access-date=28 July 2022}}</ref>]] Unlike the traditional definition of the term, in [[sexual fetish|fetish]] usage a cuckold (also known as "cuckolding fetish")<ref>{{Cite web |author1=Elizabeth Weiss |date=2017-08-09 |title=The Cuckolding Fetish Explained: Why Some Men Actually *Want* to Be Cheated On |url=https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a15806/cuckolding-fetish/ |access-date=2022-06-27 |website=Marie Claire Magazine |language=en}}</ref><ref>{{Cite news |last=Calhoun |first=Ada |date=2012-09-14 |title=You May Call It Cheating, but We Don't |language=en-US |work=The New York Times |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/16/fashion/modern-love-you-may-call-it-cheating-but-we-dont.html |access-date=2022-06-27 |issn=0362-4331}}</ref> is complicit in their partner's sexual "infidelity"; the wife who enjoys "cuckolding" her husband is called a "cuckoldress" if the man is more submissive.<ref>{{cite book |last=Ley |first=David |title=Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them |publisher=Rowman & Littlefield |year=2009 |isbn=978-1-4422-0031-9}}</ref>{{Page needed|date=July 2015}}<ref name=Kort>{{cite web|url=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/the-expanding-phenomenon-_b_11968830.html|title=The Expanding Phenomenon Of Cuckolding: Even Gay Men Are Getting Into It|first1=Joe|last1=Kort|date=13 September 2016|publisher=[[Huffington Post]]|access-date=19 December 2016}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.salon.com/2007/09/05/cuckquean/|title=What do you call a female cuckold?|first=Lynn|last=Harris|work=[[Salon (website)|Salon]]|access-date=19 December 2016}}</ref> The dominant man engaging with the cuckold's partner is called a "bull".<ref name=Kort></ref> If a couple can keep the fantasy in the bedroom, or come to an agreement where being cuckolded in reality does not damage the relationship, they may try it out in reality. However, the primary proponent of the fantasy is almost always the one being humiliated, or the "cuckold": the cuckold convinces his lover to participate in the fantasy for them, though other "cuckolds" may prefer their lover to initiate the situation instead. The fetish fantasy does not work at all if the cuckold is being humiliated against their will.<ref>{{cite journal|last=Klein|first=Donald C.|date=1 Dec 1999|title=The humiliation dynamic: An overview|journal=The Journal of Primary Prevention|volume=12|issue=2|pages=93–121|doi=10.1007/BF02015214|pmid=24258218|s2cid=43535241}}</ref> Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant of [[Sadomasochism|masochism]], the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated.<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.thedailybeast.com/cuckolding-the-sex-fetish-for-intellectuals|title=The Intellectual Sex Fetish|last=Rufus|first=Anneli|date=July 29, 2010|work=[[The Daily Beast]]|access-date=November 20, 2021}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|quote=Cuckolding can also be mixed with other non-monogamous relationship arrangements with which it has substantial overlap such as swinging, open relationships, and polyamory. Again, it is distinguished from these concepts in that cuckold's thrill in their partner's acts is specifically masochistic|last=Betchen|first=Stephen J.|work=Magnetic Partners blog post|publisher=[[Psychology Today]]|date=November 18, 2014|url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/magnetic-partners/201411/sexually-dominant-women-and-the-men-who-desire-them-part-ii|title=Sexually Dominant Women and the Men Who Desire Them, Part II}}</ref> In his book ''Masochism and the Self,'' psychologist [[Roy Baumeister]] advanced a ''Self Theory'' analysis that cuckolding (or specifically, all masochism) was a form of escaping from self-awareness, at times when self-awareness becomes burdensome, such as with perceived inadequacy. According to this theory, the physical or mental pain from masochism brings attention away from the self, which would be desirable in times of "guilt, anxiety, or insecurity", or at other times when self-awareness is unpleasant.<ref>{{Cite book|title=Masochism and the Self|last=Baumeister|first=Roy|publisher=Psychology Press|year=2014|isbn=978-1138876064|location=New York}}</ref> == See also == {{Div col|colwidth=20em}} * [[Alpha and beta male|Beta male]] * [[Candaulism]] * [[Crime of passion]] * [[Cuckoldry in fish]] * [[Cuckquean]] * [[Erotic humiliation]] * [[Dominatrix|Female dominance]] * [[Female promiscuity]] * [[Feminization (activity)]] * [[Human sperm competition]] * [[Monogamish#Monogamish|Monogamish]] * [[Non-paternity event]] * [[Open marriage]] * [[Paternity fraud]] * [[Polyamory]] * [[Polyandry]], marriage to plural husbands * [[Pregnancy fetishism]] * [[Swinging (sexual practice)|Swinging]] {{Div col end}} == References == {{Reflist}} == External links == * {{Commonscatinline}} * {{Wiktionary-inline}} * {{cite web|url=http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-12-20/cuckold-history-of-mens-rights-insult-the-conversation/9273074|title=From the 16th-century to men's rights activists: The history of the insult 'cuckold'|work=[[ABC (Australian TV channel)|ABC]]|author=Una McIlvenna|date=December 20, 2017|access-date=December 20, 2017}} {{Sex fetish}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:Marriage]] [[Category:Sexual fidelity]] [[Category:Sexual fetishism]] [[Category:BDSM terminology]]'