The Project Gutenberg EBook of Penelope's Experiences in Scotland, by
Kate Douglas Wiggin
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
Title: Penelope's Experiences in Scotland
Author: Kate Douglas Wiggin
Release Date: August 26, 2008 [EBook #1217]
Last Updated: October 12, 2016
Language: English
Character set encoding: UTF-8
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PENELOPE'S EXPERIENCES IN SCOTLAND ***
Produced by Les Bowler, and David Widger
PENELOPE’S EXPERIENCES IN SCOTLAND
Being extracts from the commonplace book of Penelope Hamilton
By Kate Douglas Wiggin
1913 Gay and Hancock edition
To G.C.R.
CONTENTS
Chapter I. A Triangular Alliance.
Chapter II. Edina, Scotia’s Darling Seat.
Chapter III. A vision in Princes Street.
Chapter IV. Susanna Crum cudna say.
Chapter V. We emulate the Jackdaw.
Chapter VI. Edinburgh society, past and
present.
Chapter VII. Francesca meets th’ unconquer’d
Scot.
Chapter VIII. ‘What made th’ Assembly shine?’
Chapter IX. Omnia presbyteria est divisa in
partes tres.
Chapter X. Mrs. M’Collop as a sermon-taster.
Chapter XI. Holyrood awakens.
Chapter XII. Farewell to Edinburgh.
Chapter XIII. The spell of Scotland.
Chapter XIV. The wee theekit hoosie in the
loaning.
Chapter XV. Jane Grieve and her grievances.
Chapter XVI. The path that led to Crummylowe.
Chapter XVII. Playing Sir Patrick Spens.
Chapter XVIII. Paris comes to Pettybaw.
Chapter XIX. Fowk o’ Fife.
Chapter XX. A Fifeshire tea-party.
Chapter XXI. International bickering.
Chapter XXII. Francesca entertains the
green-eyed monster.
Chapter XXIII. Ballad revels at Rowardennan.
Chapter XXIV. Old songs and modern instances.
Chapter XXV. A treaty between nations.
Chapter XXVI. ‘Scotland’s burning! Look out!’
Chapter XXVII. Three magpies and a marriage.
Chapter I. A Triangular Alliance.
‘Edina, Scotia’s Darling seat!
All hail thy palaces and towers!’
Edinburgh, April 189-.
22 Breadalbane Terrace.
We have travelled together before, Salemina, Francesca, and I, and we know
the very worst there is to know about one another. After this point has
been reached, it is as if a triangular marriage had taken place, and, with
the honeymoon comfortably over, we slip along in thoroughly friendly
fashion. I use no warmer word than’friendly’ because, in the first place,
the highest tides of feeling do not visit the coasts of triangular
alliances; and because, in the second place, ‘friendly’ is a word capable
of putting to the blush many a more passionate and endearing one.
Every one knows of our experiences in England, for we wrote volumes of
letters concerning them, the which were widely circulated among our
friends at the time, and read aloud under the evening lamps in the several
cities of our residence.
Since then few striking changes have taken place in our history.
Salemina returned to Boston for the winter, to find, to her amazement,
that for forty odd years she had been rather overestimating it.
On arriving in New York, Francesca discovered that the young lawyer whom
for six months she had been advising to marry somebody more worthy than
herself was at last about to do it. This was somewhat in the nature of a
shock, for Francesca had been in the habit, ever since she was seventeen,
of giving her lovers similar advice, and up to this time no one of them
has ever taken it. She therefore has had the not unnatural hope, I think,
of organising at one time or another all these disappointed and faithful
swains into a celibate brotherhood; and perhaps of driving by the
interesting monastery with her husband and calling his attention modestly
to the fact that these poor monks were filling their barren lives with
deeds of piety, trying to remember their Creator with such assiduity that
they might, in time, forget Her.
Her chagrin was all the keener at losing this last aspirant to her hand in
that she had almost persuaded herself that she was as fond of him as she
was likely to be of anybody, and that on the whole she had better marry
him and save his life and reason.
Fortunately she had not communicated this gleam of hope by letter,
feeling, I suppose, that she would like to see for herself the light of
joy breaking over his pale cheek. The scene would have been rather pretty
and touching, but meantime the Worm had turned and despatched a letter to
the Majestic at the quarantine station, telling her that he had found a
less reluctant bride in the person of her intimate friend Miss Rosa Van
Brunt; and so Francesca’s dream of duty and sacrifice was over.
Salemina says she was somewhat constrained for a week and a trifle cynical
for a fortnight, but that afterwards her spirits mounted on ever ascending
spirals to impossible heights, where they have since remained. It appears
from all this that although she was piqued at being taken at her word, her
heart was not in the least damaged. It never was one of those fragile
things which have to be wrapped in cotton, and preserved from the
slightest blow—Francesca’s heart. It is made of excellent stout,
durable material, and I often tell her with the care she takes of it, and
the moderate strain to which it is subjected, it ought to be as good as
new a hundred years hence.
As for me, the scene of my own love-story is laid in America and England,
and has nought to do with Edinburgh. It is far from finished; indeed, I
hope it will be the longest serial on record, one of those charming tales
that grow in interest as chapter after chapter unfolds, until at the end
we feel as if we could never part with the delightful people.
I should be, at this very moment, Mrs. William Beresford, a highly
respectable young matron who painted rather good pictures in her spinster
days, when she was Penelope Hamilton of the great American working-class,
Unlimited; but first Mrs. Beresford’s dangerous illness and then her
death, have kept my dear boy a willing prisoner in Cannes, his heart sadly
torn betwixt his love and duty to his mother and his desire to be with me.
The separation is virtually over now, and we two, alas! have ne’er a
mother or a father between us, so we shall not wait many months before
beginning to comfort each other in good earnest.
Meantime Salemina and Francesca have persuaded me to join their forces,
and Mr. Beresford will follow us to Scotland in a few short weeks, when we
shall have established ourselves in the country.
We are overjoyed at being together again, we three women folk. As I said
before, we know the worst of one another, and the future has no terrors.
We have learned, for example, that—
Francesca does not like an early morning start. Salemina refuses to arrive
late anywhere. Penelope prefers to stay behind and follow next day.
Francesca scorns to travel third class. So does Salemina, but she will if
urged.
Penelope hates a four-wheeler. Salemina is nervous in a hansom. Francesca
prefers a barouche or a landau.
Salemina likes a steady fire in the grate. Penelope opens a window and
fans herself.
Salemina inclines to instructive and profitable expeditions. Francesca
loves processions and sightseeing. Penelope abhors all of these equally.
Salemina likes history. Francesca loves fiction. Penelope adores poetry
and detests facts.
Penelope likes substantial breakfasts. Francesca dislikes the sight of
food in the morning.
In the matter of breakfasts, when we have leisure to assert our individual
tastes, Salemina prefers tea, Francesca cocoa, and I, coffee. We can
never, therefore, be served with a large comfortable pot of anything, but
are confronted instead with a caravan of silver jugs, china jugs, bowls of
hard and soft sugar, hot milk, cold milk, hot water, and cream, while each
in her secret heart wishes that the other two were less exigeante in the
matter of diet and beverages.
This does not sound promising, but it works perfectly well in practice by
the exercise of a little flexibility.
As we left dear old Dovermarle Street and Smith’s Private Hotel behind,
and drove to the station to take the Flying Scotsman, we indulged in
floods of reminiscence over the joys of travel we had tasted together in
the past, and talked with lively anticipation of the new experiences
awaiting us in the land of heather.
While Salemina went to purchase the three first-class tickets, I
superintended the porters as they disposed our luggage in the van, and in
so doing my eye lighted upon a third-class carriage which was, for a
wonder, clean, comfortable, and vacant. Comparing it hastily with the
first-class compartment being held by Francesca, I found that it differed
only in having no carpet on the floor, and a smaller number of buttons in
the upholstering. This was really heartrending when the difference in fare
for three persons would be at least twenty dollars. What a delightful sum
to put aside for a rainy day!—that is, be it understood, what a
delightful sum to put aside and spend on the first rainy day! for that is
the way we always interpret the expression.
When Salemina returned with the tickets, she found me, as usual, bewailing
our extravagance.
Francesca descended suddenly from her post, and, wresting the tickets from
her duenna, exclaimed, “‘I know that I can save the country, and I know no
other man can!’ as William Pitt said to the Duke of Devonshire. I have had
enough of this argument. For six months of last year we discussed
travelling third class and continued to travel first. Get into that clean
hard-seated, ill-upholstered third-class carriage immediately, both of
you; save room enough for a mother with two babies, and man carrying a
basket of fish, and an old woman with five pieces of hand-luggage and a
dog; meanwhile I will exchange the tickets.”
So saying, she disappeared rapidly among the throng of passengers, guards,
porters, newspaper boys, golfers with bags of clubs, young ladies with
bicycles, and old ladies with tin hat-boxes.
“What decision, what swiftness of judgment, what courage and energy!”
murmured Salemina. “Isn’t she wonderfully improved since that unexpected
turning of the Worm?”
Francesca rejoined us just as the guard was about to lock us in, and flung
herself down, quite breathless from her unusual exertion.
“Well, we are travelling third for once, and the money is saved, or at
least it is ready to spend again at the first opportunity. The man didn’t
wish to exchange the tickets at all. He says it is never done. I told him
they were bought by a very inexperienced American lady (that is you,
Salemina) who knew almost nothing of the distinctions between first and
third class, and naturally took the best, believing it to be none too good
for a citizen of the greatest republic on the face of the earth. He said
the tickets had been stamped on. I said so should I be if I returned
without exchanging them. He was a very dense person, and didn’t see my
joke at all, but then, it is true, there were thirteen men in line behind
me, with the train starting in three minutes, and there is nothing so
debilitating to a naturally weak sense of humour as selling tickets behind
a grating, so I am not really vexed with him. There! we are quite
comfortable, pending the arrival of the babies, the dog, and the fish, and
certainly no vendor of periodic literature will dare approach us while we
keep these books in evidence.”
She had Laurence Hutton’s Literary Landmarks and Royal Edinburgh, by Mrs.
Oliphant; I had Lord Cockburn’s Memorials of his Time; and somebody had
given Salemina, at the moment of leaving London, a work on ‘Scotias’s
darling seat,’ in three huge volumes. When all this printed matter was
heaped on the top of Salemina’s hold-all on the platform, the guard had
asked, “Do you belong to these books, ma’am?”
“We may consider ourselves injured in going from London to Edinburgh in a
third-class carriage in eight or ten hours, but listen to this,” said
Salemina, who had opened one of her large volumes at random when the train
started.
“‘The Edinburgh and London Stage-coach begins on Monday, 13th October
1712. All that desire... let them repair to the Coach and Horses at the
head of the Canongate every Saturday, or the Black Swan in Holborn every
other Monday, at both of which places they may be received in a coach
which performs the whole journey in thirteen days without any stoppage (if
God permits) having eighty able horses. Each passenger paying 4 pounds, 10
shillings for the whole journey, allowing each 20 lbs. weight and all
above to pay 6 pence per lb. The coach sets off at six in the morning’
(you could never have caught it, Francesca!), ‘and is performed by Henry
Harrison.’ And here is a ‘modern improvement,’ forty-two years later. In
July 1754, the Edinburgh Courant advertises the stage-coach drawn by six
horses, with a postilion on one of the leaders, as a ‘new, genteel,
two-end glass machine, hung on steel springs, exceedingly light and easy,
to go in ten days in summer and twelve in winter. Passengers to pay as
usual. Performed (if God permits) by your dutiful servant, Hosea Eastgate.
CARE IS TAKEN OF SMALL PARCELS ACCORDING TO THEIR VALUE.’”
“It would have been a long, wearisome journey,” said I contemplatively;
“but, nevertheless, I wish we were making it in 1712 instead of a century
and three-quarters later.”
“What would have been happening, Salemina?” asked Francesca politely, but
with no real desire to know.
“The Union had been already established five years,” began Salemina
intelligently.
“Which Union?”
“Whose Union?”
Salemina is used to these interruptions and eruptions of illiteracy on our
part. I think she rather enjoys them, as in the presence of such complete
ignorance as ours her lamp of knowledge burns all the brighter.
“Anne was on the throne,” she went on, with serene dignity.
“What Anne?”
“I know all about Anne!” exclaimed Francesca. “She came from the Midnight
Sun country, or up that way. She was very extravagant, and had something
to do with Jingling Geordie in The Fortunes of Nigel. It is marvellous how
one’s history comes back to one!”
“Quite marvellous,” said Salemina dryly; “or at least the state in which
it comes back is marvellous. I am not a stickler for dates, as you know,
but if you could only contrive to fix a few periods in your minds, girls,
just in a general way, you would not be so shamefully befogged. Your Anne
of Denmark, Francesca, was the wife of James VI. of Scotland, who was
James I. of England, and she died a hundred years before the Anne I mean,—the
last of the Stuarts, you know. My Anne came after William and Mary, and
before the Georges.”
“Which William and Mary?”
“What Georges?”
But this was too much even for Salemina’s equanimity, and she retired
behind her book in dignified displeasure, while Francesca and I meekly
looked up the Annes in a genealogical table, and tried to decide whether
‘b.1665’ meant born or beheaded.
Chapter II. Edina, Scotia’s Darling Seat.
The weather that greeted us on our unheralded arrival in Scotland was of
the precise sort offered by Edinburgh to her unfortunate queen, when,
‘After a youth by woes o’ercast,
After a thousand sorrows past,
The lovely Mary once again
Set foot upon her native plain.’
John Knox records of those memorable days: ‘The very face of heaven did
manifestlie speak what comfort was brought to this country with hir—to
wit, sorrow, dolour, darkness and all impiety—for in the memorie of
man never was seen a more dolorous face of the heavens than was seen at
her arryvall... the myst was so thick that skairse micht onie man espy
another; and the sun was not seyn to shyne two days befoir nor two days
after.’
We could not see Edina’s famous palaces and towers because of the haar,
that damp, chilling, drizzling, dripping fog or mist which the east wind
summons from the sea; but we knew that they were there, shrouded in the
heart of that opaque, mysterious greyness, and that before many hours our
eyes would feast upon their beauty.
Perhaps it was the weather, but I could think of nothing but poor Queen
Mary! She had drifted into my imagination with the haar, so that I could
fancy her homesick gaze across the water as she murmured, ‘Adieu, ma chere
France! Je ne vous verray jamais plus!’—could fancy her saying as in
Allan Cunningham’s verse:—
‘The sun rises bright in France,
And fair sets he;
But he hath tint the blithe blink he had
In my ain countree.’
And then I recalled Mary’s first good-night in Edinburgh: that ‘serenade
of 500 rascals with vile fiddles and rebecks’; that singing, ‘in bad
accord,’ of Protestant psalms by the wet crowd beneath the palace windows,
while the fires on Arthur’s Seat shot flickering gleams of welcome through
the dreary fog. What a lullaby for poor Mary, half Frenchwoman and all
Papist!
It is but just to remember the ‘indefatigable and undissuadable’ John
Knox’s statement, ‘the melody lyked her weill, and she willed the same to
be continewed some nightis after.’ For my part, however, I distrust John
Knox’s musical feeling, and incline sympathetically to the Sieur de
Brantome’s account, with its ‘vile fiddles’ and ‘discordant psalms,’
although his judgment was doubtless a good deal depressed by what he
called the si grand brouillard that so dampened the spirits of Mary’s
French retinue.
Ah well, I was obliged to remember, in order to be reasonably happy
myself, that Mary had a gay heart, after all; that she was but nineteen;
that, though already a widow, she did not mourn her young husband as one
who could not be comforted; and that she must soon have been furnished
with merrier music than the psalms, for another of the sour comments of
the time is, ‘Our Queen weareth the dule [weeds], but she can dance daily,
dule and all!’
These were my thoughts as we drove through invisible streets in the
Edinburgh haar, turned into what proved next day to be a Crescent, and
drew up to an invisible house with a visible number 22 gleaming over a
door which gaslight transformed into a probability. We alighted, and
though we could scarcely see the driver’s outstretched hand, he was quite
able to discern a half-crown, and demanded three shillings.
The noise of our cab had brought Mrs. M’Collop to the door,—good (or
at least pretty good) Mrs. M’Collop, to whose apartments we had been
commended by English friends who had never occupied them.
Dreary as it was without, all was comfortable within-doors, and a cheery
(one-and-sixpenny) fire crackled in the grate. Our private drawing-room
was charmingly furnished, and so large that, notwithstanding the presence
of a piano, two sofas, five small tables, cabinets, desks, and chairs,—not
forgetting a dainty five-o’clock tea equipage,—we might have given a
party in the remaining space.
“If this is a typical Scotch lodging, I like it; and if it is Scotch
hospitality to lay the cloth and make the fire before it is asked for,
then I call it simply Arabian in character!” and Salemina drew off her
damp gloves, and extended her hands to the blaze.
“And isn’t it delightful that the bill doesn’t come in for a whole week?”
asked Francesca. “We have only our English experiences on which to found
our knowledge, and all is delicious mystery. The tea may be a present from
Mrs. M’Collop, and the sugar may not be an extra; the fire may be included
in the rent of the apartment, and the piano may not be taken away
to-morrow to enhance the attractions of the dining-room floor.” (It was
Francesca, you remember, who had ‘warstled’ with the itemised accounts at
Smith’s Private Hotel in London, and she who was always obliged to turn
pounds, shillings, and pence into dollars and cents before she could add
or subtract.)
“Come and look at the flowers in my bedroom,” I called, “four great boxes
full! Mr. Beresford must have ordered the carnations, because he always
does; but where did the roses come from, I wonder?”
I rang the bell, and a neat white-aproned maid appeared.
“Who brought these flowers, please?”
“I cudna say, mam.”
“Thank you; will you be good enough to ask Mrs. M’Collop?”
In a moment she returned with the message, “There will be a letter in the
box, mam.”
“It seems to me the letter should be in the box now, if it is ever to be,”
I thought, and I presently drew this card from among the fragrant buds:—
‘Lady Baird sends these Scotch roses as a small return for the pleasure
she has received from Miss Hamilton’s pictures. Lady Baird will give
herself the pleasure of calling to-morrow; meantime she hopes that Miss
Hamilton and her party will dine with her some evening this week.’
“How nice!” exclaimed Salemina.
“The celebrated Miss Hamilton’s undistinguished party presents its humble
compliments to Lady Baird,” chanted Francesca, “and having no engagements
whatever, and small hope of any, will dine with her on any and every
evening she may name. Miss Hamilton’s party will wear its best clothes,
polish its mental jewels, and endeavour in every possible way not to
injure the gifted Miss Hamilton’s reputation among the Scottish nobility.”
I wrote a hasty note of thanks to Lady Baird, and rang the bell.
“Can I send a message, please?” I asked the maid.
“I cudna say, mam.”
“Will you be good enough to ask Mrs. M’Collop, please?”
Interval; then:—
“The Boots will tak’ it at seeven o’clock, mam.”
“Thank you; is Fotheringay Crescent near here?”
“I cudna say, mam.”
“Thank you; what is your name, please?”
I waited in well-grounded anxiety, for I had no idea that she knew her
name, or that if she had ever heard it, she could say it; but, to my
surprise, she answered almost immediately, “Susanna Crum, mam!”
What a joy it is in a vexatious world, where things ‘gang aft agley,’ to
find something absolutely right.
If I had devoted years to the subject, having the body of Susanna Crum
before my eyes every minute of the time for inspiration, Susanna Crum is
what I should have named that maid. Not a vowel could be added, not a
consonant omitted. I said so when first I saw her, and weeks of intimate
acquaintance only deepened my reverence for the parental genius that had
so described her to the world.
Chapter III. A vision in Princes Street.
When we awoke next morning the sun had forgotten itself and was shining in
at Mrs. M’Collop’s back windows.
We should have arisen at once to burn sacrifices and offer oblations, but
we had seen the sun frequently in America, and had no idea (poor fools!)
that it was anything to be grateful for, so we accepted it, almost without
comment, as one of the perennial providences of life.
When I speak of Edinburgh sunshine I do not mean, of course, any such
burning, whole-souled, ardent warmth of beam as one finds in countries
where they make a specialty of climate. It is, generally speaking, a
half-hearted, uncertain ray, as pale and transitory as a martyr’s smile;
but its faintest gleam, or its most puerile attempt to gleam, is admired
and recorded by its well-disciplined constituency. Not only that, but at
the first timid blink of the sun the true Scotsman remarks smilingly, ‘I
think now we shall be having settled weather!’ It is a pathetic optimism,
beautiful but quite groundless, and leads one to believe in the story that
when Father Noah refused to take Sandy into the ark, he sat down
philosophically outside, saying, with a glance at the clouds, ‘Aweel! the
day’s just aboot the ord’nar’, an’ I wouldna won’er if we saw the sun
afore nicht!’
But what loyal son of Edina cares for these transatlantic gibes, and where
is the dweller within her royal gates who fails to succumb to the sombre
beauty of that old grey town of the North? ‘Grey! why, it is grey or grey
and gold, or grey and gold and blue, or grey and gold and blue and green,
or grey and gold and blue and green and purple, according as the heaven
pleases and you choose your ground! But take it when it is most sombrely
grey, where is another such grey city?’
So says one of her lovers, and so the great army of lovers would say, had
they the same gift of language; for
‘Even thus, methinks, a city reared should be,...
Yea, an imperial city that might hold
Five time a hundred noble towns in fee....
Thus should her towers be raised; with vicinage
Of clear bold hills, that curve her very streets,
As if to indicate, ‘mid choicest seats
Of Art, abiding Nature’s majesty.’
We ate a hasty breakfast that first morning, and prepared to go out for a
walk into the great unknown, perhaps the most pleasurable sensation in the
world. Francesca was ready first, and, having mentioned the fact several
times ostentatiously, she went into the drawing-room to wait and read the
Scotsman. When we went thither a few minutes later we found that she had
disappeared.
“She is below, of course,” said Salemina. “She fancies that we shall feel
more ashamed at our tardiness if we find her sitting on the hall bench in
silent martyrdom.”
There was no one in the hall, however, save Susanna, who inquired if we
would see the cook before going out.
“We have no time now, Susanna,” I remarked. “We are anxious to have a walk
before the weather changes, if possible, but we shall be out for luncheon
and in for dinner, and Mrs. M’Collop may give us anything she pleases. Do
you know where Miss Francesca is?”
“I cudna s—-”
“Certainly, of course you couldn’t; but I wonder if Mrs. M’Collop saw
her?”
Mrs. M’Collop appeared from the basement, and vouchsafed the information
that she had seen ‘the young leddy rinnin’ after the regiment.’
“Running after the regiment!” repeated Salemina automatically. “What a
reversal of the laws of nature? Why, in Berlin, it was always the regiment
that used to run after her!”
We learned in what direction the soldiers had gone, and pursuing the same
path found the young lady on the corner of a street near by. She was quite
unabashed. “You don’t know what you have missed!” she said excitedly. “Let
us get into this tram, and possibly we can head them off somewhere. They
may be going into battle, and if so, my heart’s blood is at their service.
It is one of those experiences that come only once in a lifetime. There
were pipes and there were kilts! (I didn’t suppose they ever really wore
them outside of the theatre!) When you have seen the kilts swinging,
Salemina, you will never be the same woman afterwards! You never expected
to see the Olympian gods walking, did you? Perhaps you thought they always
sat on practicable rocks and made stiff gestures, from the elbow, as they
do in the Wagner operas? Well, these gods walked, if you can call the
inspired gait a walk! If there is a single spinster left in Scotland, it
is because none of these ever asked her to marry him. Ah, how grateful I
ought to be that I am free to say ‘yes’, if a kilt ever asks me to be his!
Poor Penelope, yoked to your commonplace trousered Beresford! (I wish the
tram would go faster!) You must capture one of them, by fair means or
foul, Penelope, and Salemina and I will hold him down while you paint him,—there
they are, they are there somewhere, don’t you hear them?”
There they were indeed, filing down the grassy slopes of the Gardens,
swinging across one of the stone bridges, and winding up the Castlehill to
the Esplanade like a long glittering snake; the streamers of their
Highland bonnets waving, their arms glistening in the sun, and the
bagpipes playing ‘The March of the Cameron Men.’ The pipers themselves
were mercifully hidden from us on that first occasion, and it was well,
for we could never have borne another feather’s weight of ecstasy.
It was in Princes Street that we had alighted,—named thus for the
prince who afterwards became George IV.—and I hope he was, and is,
properly grateful. It ought never to be called a street, this most
magnificent of terraces, and the world has cause to bless that interdict
of the Court of Session in 1774 which prevented the Gradgrinds of the day
from erecting buildings along its south side,—a sordid scheme that
would have been the very superfluity of naughtiness.
It was an envious Glasgow body who said grudgingly, as he came out of
Waverley Station, and gazed along its splendid length for the first time,
“Weel, wi’ a’ their haverin’, it’s but half a street onyway!”—which
always reminded me of the Western farmer who came from his native plains
to the beautiful Berkshire hills. “I’ve always heard o’ this scenery,” he
said. “Blamed if I can find any scenery; but if there was, nobody could
see it, there’s so much high ground in the way!”
To think that not so much more than a hundred years ago Princes Street was
nought but a straight country road, the ‘Lang Dykes’ and the ‘Lang Gait,’
as it was called.
We looked down over the grassy chasm that separates the New from the Old
Town; looked our first on Arthur’s Seat, that crouching lion of a
mountain; saw the Corstorphine Hill, and Calton heights, and Salisbury
Crags, and finally that stupendous bluff of rock that culminates so
majestically in Edinburgh Castle. There is something else which, like
Susanna Crum’s name, is absolutely and ideally right! Stevenson calls it
one of the most satisfactory crags in nature—a Bass rock upon dry
land, rooted in a garden, shaken by passing trains, carrying a crown of
battlements and turrets, and describing its warlike shadow over the
liveliest and brightest thoroughfare of the new town. It dominates the
whole countryside from water and land. The men who would have the courage
to build such a castle in such a spot are all dead; all dead, and the
world is infinitely more comfortable without them. They are all gone, and
no more like unto them will ever be born, and we can most of us count upon
dying safely in our beds, of diseases bred of modern civilisation. But I
am glad that those old barbarians, those rudimentary creatures working
their way up into the divine likeness, when they were not hanging,
drawing, quartering, torturing, and chopping their neighbours, and using
their heads in conventional patterns on the tops of gate-posts, did devote
their leisure intervals to rearing fortresses like this. Edinburgh Castle
could not be conceived, much less built, nowadays, when all our energy is
consumed in bettering the condition of the ‘submerged tenth’! What did
they care about the ‘masses,’ that ‘regal race that is now no more,’ when
they were hewing those blocks of rugged rock and piling them against the
sky-line on the top of that great stone mountain! It amuses me to think
how much more picturesque they left the world, and how much better we
shall leave it; though if an artist were requested to distribute
individual awards to different generations, you could never persuade him
to give first prizes to the centuries that produced steam laundries,
trolleys, X rays, and sanitary plumbing.
What did they reck of Peace Congresses and bloodless arbitrations when
they lighted the beacon-fires, flaming out to the gudeman and his sons
ploughing or sowing in the Lang Dykes the news that their ‘ancient enemies
of England had crossed the Tweed’!
I am the most peaceful person in the world, but the Castle was too much
for my imagination. I was mounted and off and away from the first moment I
gazed upon its embattled towers, heard the pipers in the distance, and saw
the Black Watch swinging up the green steps where the huge fortress ‘holds
its state.’ The modern world had vanished, and my steed was galloping,
galloping, galloping back into the place-of-the-things-that-are-past,
traversing centuries at every leap.
‘To arms! Let every banner in Scotland float defiance to the breeze!’ (So
I heard my new-born imaginary spirit say to my real one.) ‘Yes, and let
the Deacon Convener unfurl the sacred Blue Blanket, under which every
liege burgher of the kingdom is bound to answer summons! The bale-fires
are gleaming, giving alarm to Hume, Haddington, Dunbar, Dalkeith, and
Eggerhope. Rise, Stirling, Fife, and the North! All Scotland will be under
arms in two hours. One bale-fire: the English are in motion! Two: they are
advancing! Four in a row: they are of great strength! All men in arms west
of Edinburgh muster there! All eastward, at Haddington! And every
Englishman caught in Scotland is lawfully the prisoner of whoever takes
him!’ (What am I saying? I love Englishmen, but the spell is upon me!)
‘Come on, Macduff!’ (The only suitable and familiar challenge my warlike
tenant can summon at the moment.) ‘I am the son of a Gael! My dagger is in
my belt, and with the guid broadsword at my side I can with one blow cut a
man in twain! My bow is cut from the wood of the yews of Glenure; the
shaft is from the wood of Lochetive, the feathers from the great golden
eagles of Locktreigside! My arrowhead was made by the smiths of the race
of Macphedran! Come on, Macduff!’
And now a shopkeeper has filled his window with royal Stuart tartans, and
I am instantly a Jacobite.
‘The Highland clans wi’ sword in hand,
Frae John o’ Groat’s to Airly,
Hae to a man declar’d to stand
Or fa’ wi’ Royal Charlie.
‘Come through the heather, around him gather,
Come Ronald, come Donald, come a’thegither,
And crown your rightfu’ lawfu’ king,
For wha’ll be king but Charlie?’
It is the eve of the battle of Prestonpans. Is it not under the Rock of
Dunsappie on yonder Arthur’s Seat that our Highland army will encamp
to-night? At dusk the prince will hold a council of his chiefs and nobles
(I am a chief and a noble), and at daybreak we shall march through the old
hedgerows and woods of Duddingston, pipes playing and colours flying,
bonnie Charlie at the head, his claymore drawn and the scabbard flung
away! (I mean awa’!)—
‘Then here’s a health to Charlie’s cause,
And be’t complete an’ early;
His very name my heart’s blood warms
To arms for Royal Charlie!
‘Come through the heather, around him gather,
Come Ronald, come Donald, come a’thegither,
And crown your rightfu’, lawfu’ king,
For wha’ll be king but Charlie?’
I hope that those in authority will never attempt to convene a Peace
Congress in Edinburgh, lest the influence of the Castle be too strong for
the delegates. They could not resist it nor turn their backs upon it,
since, unlike other ancient fortresses, it is but a stone’s-throw from the
front windows of all the hotels. They might mean never so well, but they
would end by buying dirk hat-pins and claymore brooches for their wives,
their daughters would all run after the kilted regiment and marry as many
of the pipers as asked them, and before night they would all be shouting
with the noble FitzEustace—
‘Where’s the coward who would not dare
To fight for such a land?’
While I was rhapsodising, Salemina and Francesca were shopping in the
Arcade, buying some of the cairngorms, and Tam O’Shanter purses, and
models of Burns’s cottage, and copies of Marmion in plaided covers, and
thistle belt-buckles, and bluebell penwipers, with which we afterwards
inundated our native land. When my warlike mood had passed, I sat down
upon the steps of the Scott monument and watched the passers-by in a sort
of waking dream. I suppose they were the usual professors and doctors and
ministers who are wont to walk up and down the Edinburgh streets, with a
sprinkling of lairds and leddies of high degree and a few Americans
looking at the shop windows to choose their clan tartans; but for me they
did not exist. In their places stalked the ghosts of kings and queens and
knights and nobles; Columba, Abbot of Iona; Queen Margaret and Malcolm—she
the sweetest saint in all the throng; King David riding towards Drumsheugh
forest on Holy Rood day, with his horns and hounds and huntsmen following
close behind; Anne of Denmark and Jingling Geordie; Mary Stuart in all her
girlish beauty, with the four Maries in her train; and lurking behind,
Bothwell, ‘that ower sune stepfaither,’ and the murdered Rizzio and
Darnley; John Knox, in his black Geneva cloak; Bonnie Prince Charlie and
Flora Macdonald; lovely Annabella Drummond; Robert the Bruce; George
Heriot with a banner bearing on it the words ‘I distribute chearfully’;
James I. carrying The King’s Quair; Oliver Cromwell; and a long line of
heroes, martyrs, humble saints, and princely knaves.
Behind them, regardless of precedence, came the Ploughman Poet and the
Ettrick Shepherd, Boswell and Dr. Johnson, Dr. John Brown and Thomas
Carlyle, Lady Nairne and Drummond of Hawthornden, Allan Ramsay and Sir
Walter; and is it not a proof of the Wizard’s magic art, that side by side
with the wraiths of these real people walked, or seemed to walk, the Fair
Maid of Perth, Jeanie Deans, Meg Merrilies, Guy Mannering, Ellen, Marmion,
and a host of others so sweetly familiar and so humanly dear that the very
street-laddies could have named and greeted them as they passed by?
Chapter IV. Susanna Crum cudna say.
Life at Mrs. M’Collop’s apartments in 22 Breadalbane Terrace is about as
simple, comfortable, dignified, and delightful as it well can be.
Mrs. M’Collop herself is neat, thrifty, precise, tolerably genial, and
‘verra releegious.’
Her partner, who is also the cook, is a person introduced to us as Miss
Diggity. We afterwards learned that this is spelled Dalgety, but it is not
considered good form, in Scotland, to pronounce the names of persons and
places as they are written. When, therefore, I allude to the cook, which
will be as seldom as possible, I shall speak of her as Miss
Diggity-Dalgety, so that I shall be presenting her correctly both to the
eye and to the ear, and giving her at the same time a hyphenated name, a
thing which is a secret object of aspiration in Great Britain.
In selecting our own letters and parcels from the common stock on the hall
table, I perceive that most of our fellow-lodgers are hyphenated ladies,
whose visiting-cards diffuse the intelligence that in their single persons
two ancient families and fortunes are united. On the ground floor are the
Misses Hepburn-Sciennes (pronounced Hebburn-Sheens); on the floor above us
are Miss Colquhoun (Cohoon) and her cousin Miss Cockburn-Sinclair
(Coburn-Sinkler). As soon as the Hepburn-Sciennes depart, Mrs. M’Collop
expects Mrs. Menzies of Kilconquhar, of whom we shall speak as Mrs.
Mingess of Kinyuchar. There is not a man in the house; even the Boots is a
girl, so that 22 Breadalbane Terrace is as truly a castra puellarum as was
ever the Castle of Edinburgh with its maiden princesses in the olden time.
We talked with Miss Diggity-Dalgety on the evening of our first day at
Mrs. M’Collop’s, when she came up to know our commands. As Francesca and
Salemina were both in the room, I determined to be as Scotch as possible,
for it is Salemina’s proud boast that she is taken for a native of every
country she visits.
“We shall not be entertaining at present, Miss Diggity,” I said, “so you
can give us just the ordinary dishes,—no doubt you are accustomed to
them: scones, baps or bannocks with marmalade, finnan-haddie or kippered
herring for breakfast; tea,—of course we never touch coffee in the
morning” (here Francesca started with surprise); “porridge, and we like
them well boiled, please” (I hope she noted the plural pronoun; Salemina
did, and blanched with envy); “minced collops for luncheon, or a nice
little black-faced chop; Scotch broth, pease brose or cockyleekie soup at
dinner, and haggis now and then, with a cold shape for dessert. That is
about the sort of thing we are accustomed to,—just plain Scotch
living.”
I was impressing Miss Diggity-Dalgety,—I could see that clearly; but
Francesca spoiled the effect by inquiring, maliciously, if we could
sometimes have a howtowdy wi’ drappit eggs, or her favourite dish, wee
grumphie wi’ neeps.
Here Salemina was obliged to poke the fire in order to conceal her smiles,
and the cook probably suspected that Francesca found howtowdy in the
Scotch glossary; but we amused each other vastly, and that is our
principal object in life.
Miss Diggity-Dalgety’s forebears must have been exposed to foreign
influences, for she interlards her culinary conversation with French
terms, and we have discovered that this is quite common. A ‘jigget’ of
mutton is of course a gigot, and we have identified an ‘ashet’ as an
assiette. The ‘petticoat tails’ she requested me to buy at the
confectioner’s were somewhat more puzzling, but when they were finally
purchased by Susanna Crum they appeared to be ordinary little cakes;
perhaps, therefore, petits gastels, since gastel is an old form of gateau,
as was bel for beau. Susanna, on her part, speaks of the wardrobe in my
bedroom as an ‘awmry.’ It certainly contains no weapons, so cannot be an
armoury, and we conjecture that her word must be a corruption of armoire.
“That was a remarkable touch about the black-faced chop,” laughed
Salemina, when Miss Diggity-Dalgety had retired; “not that I believe they
ever say it.”
“I am sure they must,” I asserted stoutly, “for I passed a flesher’s on my
way home, and saw a sign with ‘Prime Black-Faced Mutton’ printed on it. I
also saw ‘Fed Veal,’ but I forgot to ask the cook for it.”
“We ought really to have kept house in Edinburgh,” observed Francesca,
looking up from the Scotsman. “One can get a ‘self-contained residential
flat’ for twenty pounds a month. We are such an enthusiastic trio that a
self-contained flat would be everything to us; and if it were not fully
furnished, here is a firm that wishes to sell a ‘composite bed’ for six
pounds, and a ‘gent’s stuffed easy’ for five. Added to these inducements
there is somebody who advertises that parties who intend ‘displenishing’
at the Whit Term would do well to consult him, as he makes a specialty of
second-handed furniture and ‘cyclealities.’ What are ‘cyclealities,’
Susanna?” (She had just come in with coals.)
“I cudna say, mam.”
“Thank you; no, you need not ask Mrs. M’Collop; it is of no consequence.”
Susanna Crum is a most estimable young woman, clean, respectful, willing,
capable, and methodical, but as a Bureau of Information she is painfully
inadequate. Barring this single limitation she seems to be a
treasure-house of all good practical qualities; and being thus clad and
panoplied in virtue, why should she be so timid and self-distrustful?
She wears an expression which can mean only one of two things: either she
has heard of the national tomahawk and is afraid of violence on our part,
or else her mother was frightened before she was born. This applies in
general to her walk and voice and manner, but is it fear that prompts her
eternal ‘I cudna say,’ or is it perchance Scotch caution and prudence? Is
she afraid of projecting her personality too indecently far? Is it the
indirect effect of heresy trials on her imagination? Does she remember the
thumbscrew of former generations? At all events, she will neither affirm
nor deny, and I am putting her to all sorts of tests, hoping to discover
finally whether she is an accident, an exaggeration, or a type.
Salemina thinks that our American accent may confuse her. Of course she
means Francesca’s and mine, for she has none; although we have tempered
ours so much for the sake of the natives, that we can scarcely understand
each other any more. As for Susanna’s own accent, she comes from the heart
of Aberdeenshire, and her intonation is beyond my power to reproduce.
We naturally wish to identify all the national dishes; so, “Is this cockle
soup, Susanna?” I ask her, as she passes me the plate at dinner.
“I cudna say.”
“This vegetable is new to me, Susanna; is it perhaps sea-kale?”
“I canna say, mam.”
Then finally, in despair, as she handed me a boiled potato one day, I
fixed my searching Yankee brown eyes on her blue-Presbyterian,
non-committal ones, and asked, “What is this vegetable, Susanna?”
In an instant she withdrew herself, her soul, her ego, so utterly that I
felt myself gazing at an inscrutable stone image, as she replied, “I cudna
say, mam.”
This was too much! Her mother may have been frightened, very badly
frightened, but this was more that I could endure without protest. The
plain boiled potato is practically universal. It is not only common to all
temperate climates, but it has permeated all classes of society. I am
confident that the plain boiled potato has been one of the chief
constituents in the building up of that frame in which Susanna Crum
conceals her opinions and emotions. I remarked, therefore, as an, apparent
afterthought, “Why, it is a potato, is it not, Susanna?”
What do you think she replied, when thus hunted into a corner, pushed
against a wall, driven to the very confines of her personal and national
liberty? She subjected the potato to a second careful scrutiny, and
answered, “I wudna say it’s no’!”
Now there is no inherited physical terror in this. It is the concentrated
essence of intelligent reserve, caution, and obstinacy; it is a conscious
intellectual hedging; it is a dogged and determined attempt to build up
barriers of defence between the questioner and the questionee: it must be,
therefore, the offspring of the catechism and the heresy trial.
Once again, after establishing an equally obvious fact, I succeeded in
wringing from her the reluctant admission, “It depends,” but she was so
shattered by the bulk and force of this outgo, so fearful that in some way
she had imperilled her life or reputation, so anxious concerning the
effect that her unwilling testimony might have upon unborn generations,
that she was of no real service the rest of the day.
I wish that the Lord Advocate, or some modern counterpart of Braxfield,
the hanging judge, would summon Susanna Crum as a witness in an important
case. He would need his longest plummet to sound the depths of her
consciousness.
I have had no legal experience, but I can imagine the scene.
“Is the prisoner your father, Susanna Crum?”
“I cudna say, my lord.”
“You have not understood the question, Susanna. Is the prisoner your
father?”
“I cudna say, my lord.”
“Come, come, my girl! you must answer the questions put you by the court.
You have been an inmate of the prisoner’s household since your earliest
consciousness. He provided you with food, lodging, and clothing during
your infancy and early youth. You have seen him on annual visits to your
home, and watched him as he performed the usual parental functions for
your younger brothers and sisters. I therefore repeat, is the prisoner
your father, Susanna Crum?”
“I wudna say he’s no’, my lord.”
“This is really beyond credence! What do you conceive to be the idea
involved in the word ‘father,’ Susanna Crum?”
“It depends, my lord.”
And this, a few hundred years earlier, would have been the natural and
effective moment for the thumbscrews.
I do not wish to be understood as defending these uncomfortable
appliances. They would never have been needed to elicit information from
me, for I should have spent my nights inventing matter to confess in the
daytime. I feel sure that I should have poured out such floods of
confessions and retractations that if all Scotland had been one listening
ear it could not have heard my tale. I am only wondering if, in the
extracting of testimony from the common mind, the thumbscrew might not
have been more necessary with some nations than with others.
Chapter V. We emulate the Jackdaw.
Invitations had been pouring in upon us since the delivery of our letters
of introduction, and it was now the evening of our debut in Edinburgh
society. Francesca had volunteered to perform the task of leaving cards,
ordering a private victoria for the purpose, and arraying herself in
purple and fine linen.
“Much depends upon the first impression,” she had said. “Miss Hamilton’s
‘party’ may not be gifted, but it is well-dressed. My hope is that some of
our future hostesses will be looking from the second-story front-windows.
If they are, I can assure them in advance that I shall be a national
advertisement.”
It is needless to remark that as it began to rain heavily as she was
leaving the house, she was obliged to send back the open carriage, and
order, to save time, one of the public cabs from the stand in the Terrace.
“Would you mind having the lamiter, being first in line?” asked Susanna of
Salemina, who had transmitted the command.
When Salemina fails to understand anything, the world is kept in complete
ignorance.—Least of all would she stoop to ask a humble maidservant
to translate the vernacular of the country; so she replied affably,
“Certainly, Susanna, that is the kind we always prefer. I suppose it is
covered?”
Francesca did not notice, until her coachman alighted to deliver the first
letter and cards, that he had one club foot and one wooden leg; it was
then that the full significance of ‘lamiter’ came to her. He was covered,
however, as Salemina had supposed, and the occurrence gave us a precious
opportunity of chaffing that dungeon of learning. He was tolerably alert
and vigorous, too, although he certainly did not impart elegance to a
vehicle, and he knew every street in the court end of Edinburgh, and every
close and wynd in the Old Town. On this our first meeting with him, he
faltered only when Francesca asked him last of all to drive to ‘Kildonan
House, Helmsdale’; supposing, not unnaturally, that it was as well known
an address as Morningside House, Tipperlinn, whence she had just come. The
lamiter had never heard of Kildonan House nor of Helmsdale, and he had
driven in the streets of Auld Reekie for thirty years. None of the drivers
whom he consulted could supply any information; Susanna Crum cudna say
that she had ever heard of it, nor could Mrs. M’Collop, nor could Miss
Diggity-Dalgety. It was reserved for Lady Baird to explain that Helmsdale
was two hundred and eighty miles north, and that Kildonan House was ten
miles from the Helmsdale railway station, so that the poor lamiter would
have had a weary drive even had he known the way. The friends who had
given us letters to Mr. and Mrs. Jameson-Inglis (Jimmyson-Ingals) must
have expected us either to visit John o’ Groats on the northern border,
and drop in on Kildonan House en route, or to send our note of
introduction by post and await an invitation to pass the summer. At all
events, the anecdote proved very pleasing to our Edinburgh acquaintances.
I hardly know whether, if they should visit America, they would enjoy
tales of their own stupidity as hugely as they did the tales of ours, but
they really were very appreciative in this particular, and it is but
justice to ourselves to say that we gave them every opportunity for
enjoyment.
But I must go back to our first grand dinner in Scotland. We were dressed
at quarter-past seven, when, in looking at the invitation again, we
discovered that the dinner-hour was eight o’clock, not seven-thirty.
Susanna did not happen to know the exact approximate distance to
Fotheringay Crescent, but the maiden Boots affirmed that it was only two
minutes’ drive, so we sat down in front of the fire to chat.
It was Lady Baird’s birthday feast to which we had been bidden, and we had
done our best to honour the occasion. We had prepared a large bouquet tied
with the Maclean tartan (Lady Baird is a Maclean), and had printed in gold
letters on one of the ribbons, ‘Another for Hector,’ the battle-cry of the
clan. We each wore a sprig of holly, because it is the badge of the
family, while I added a girdle and shoulder-knot of tartan velvet to my
pale green gown, and borrowed Francesca’s emerald necklace,—persuading
her that she was too young to wear such jewels in the old country.
Francesca was miserably envious that she had not thought of tartans first.
“You may consider yourself ‘geyan fine,’ all covered over with Scotch
plaid, but I wouldn’t be so ‘kenspeckle’ for worlds!” she said, using
expressions borrowed from Mrs. M’Collop; “and as for disguising your
nationality, do not flatter yourself that you look like anything but an
American. I forgot to tell you the conversation I overheard in the tram
this morning, between a mother and daughter, who were talking about us, I
dare say. ‘Have they any proper frocks for so large a party, Bella?’ asked
the mother.
“‘I thought I explained in the beginning, mamma, that they are Americans.’
“‘Still, you know they are only travelling,—just passing through, as
it were; they may not be familiar with our customs, and we do want our
party to be a smart one.’
“‘Wait until you see them, mamma, and you will probably feel like hiding
your diminished head! It is my belief that if an American lady takes a
half-hour journey in a tram she carries full evening dress and a diamond
necklace, in case anything should happen on the way. I am not in the least
nervous about their appearance. I only hope that they will not be too
exuberant; American girls are so frightfully vivacious and informal, I
always feel as if I were being taken by the throat!’”
“A picturesque, though rather vigorous expression; however, it does no
harm to be perfectly dressed,” said Salemina consciously, putting a steel
embroidered slipper on the fender and settling the holly in the silver
folds of her gown; “then when they discover that we are all well bred, and
that one of us is intelligent, it will be the more credit to the country
that gave us birth.”
“Of course it is impossible to tell what country did give YOU birth,”
retorted Francesca, “but that will only be to your advantage—away
from home!”
Francesca is inflexibly, almost aggressively American, but Salemina is a
citizen of the world. If the United States should be involved in a war, I
am confident that Salemina would be in front with the other Gatling guns,
for in that case a principle would be at stake; but in all lesser matters
she is extremely unprejudiced. She prefers German music, Italian climate,
French dressmakers, English tailors, Japanese manners, and American—American
something—I have forgotten just what; it is either the ice-cream
soda or the form of government,—I can’t remember which.
“I wonder why they named it ‘Fotheringay’ Crescent,” mused Francesca.
“Some association with Mary Stuart, of course. Poor, poor, pretty lady! A
free queen only six years, and think of the number of beds she slept in,
and the number of trees she planted; we have already seen, I am afraid to
say how many. When did she govern, when did she scheme, above all when did
she flirt, with all this racing and chasing over the country? Mrs.
M’Collop calls Anne of Denmark a ‘sad scattercash’ and Mary an ‘awfu’
gadabout,’ and I am inclined to agree with her. By the way, when she was
making my bed this morning, she told me that her mother claimed descent
from the Stewarts of Appin, whoever they may be. She apologised for Queen
Mary’s defects as if she were a distant family connection. If so, then the
famous Stuart charm has been lost somewhere, for Mrs M’Collop certainly
possesses no alluring curves of temperament.”
“I am going to select some distinguished ancestors this very minute,
before I go to my first Edinburgh dinner,” said I decidedly. “It seems
hard that ancestors should have everything to do with settling our
nationality and our position in life, and we not have a word to say. How
nice it would be to select one’s own after one had arrived at years of
discretion, or to adopt different ones according to the country one
chanced to be visiting! I am going to do it; it is unusual, but there must
be a pioneer in every good movement. Let me think: do help me, Salemina! I
am a Hamilton to begin with; I might be descended from the logical Sir
William himself, and thus become the idol of the university set!”
“He died only about thirty years ago, and you would have to be his
daughter: that would never do,” said Salemina. “Why don’t you take Thomas
Hamilton, Earl of Melrose and Haddington? He was Secretary of State,
King’s Advocate, Lord President of the Court of Session, and all sorts of
fine things. He was the one King James used to call ‘Tam o’ the Cowgate’!”
“Perfectly delightful! I don’t care so much about his other titles, but
‘Tam o’ the Cowgate’ is irresistible. I will take him. He was my—what
was he?”
“He was at least your great-great-great-great-grandfather; that is a safe
distance. Then there’s that famous Jenny Geddes, who flung her fauld-stule
at the Dean in St. Giles’,—she was a Hamilton too, if you fancy
her!”
“Yes, I’ll take her with pleasure,” I responded thankfully. “Of course I
don’t know why she flung the stool,—it may have been very
reprehensible; but there is always good stuff in stool-flingers; it’s the
sort of spirit one likes to inherit in diluted form. Now, whom will you
take?”
“I haven’t even a peg on which to hang a Scottish ancestor,” said Salemina
disconsolately.
“Oh, nonsense! think harder. Anybody will do as a starting-point; only you
must be honourable and really show relationship, as I did with Jenny and
Tam.”
“My aunt Mary-Emma married a Lindsay,” ventured Salemina hesitatingly.
“That will do,” I answered delightedly.
“‘The Gordons gay in English blude
They wat their hose and shoon;
The Lindsays flew like fire aboot
Till a’ the fray was dune.’
“You can play that you are one of the famous ‘licht Lindsays,’ and you can
look up the particular ancestor in your big book. Now, Francesca, it’s
your turn!”
“I am American to the backbone,” she declared, with insufferable dignity.
“I do not desire any foreign ancestors.”
“Francesca!” I expostulated. “Do you mean to tell me that you can dine
with a lineal descendant of Sir Fitzroy Donald Maclean, Baronet, of Duart
and Morven, and not make any effort to trace your genealogy back further
than your parents?”
“If you goad me to desperation,” she answered, “I will wear an American
flag in my hair, declare that my father is a Red Indian, or a pork-packer,
and talk about the superiority of our checking system and hotels all the
evening. I don’t want to go, any way. It is sure to be stiff and
ceremonious, and the man who takes me in will ask me the population of
Chicago and the amount of wheat we exported last year,—he always
does.”
“I can’t see why he should,” said I. “I am sure you don’t look as if you
knew.”
“My looks have thus far proved no protection,” she replied sadly.
“Salemina is so flexible, and you are so dramatic, that you enter into all
these experiences with zest. You already more than half believe in that
Tam o’ the Cowgate story. But there’ll be nothing for me in Edinburgh
society; it will be all clergymen—”
“Ministers” interjected Salemina,—“all ministers and professors. My
Redfern gowns will be unappreciated, and my Worth evening frocks worse
than wasted!”
“There are a few thousand medical students,” I said encouragingly, “and
all the young advocates, and a sprinkling of military men—they know
Worth frocks.”
“And,” continued Salemina bitingly, “there will always be, even in an
intellectual city like Edinburgh, a few men who continue to escape all the
developing influences about them, and remain commonplace, conventional
manikins, devoted to dancing and flirting. Never fear, they will find
you!”
This sounds harsh, but nobody minds Salemina, least of all Francesca, who
well knows that she is the apple of that spinster’s eye. But at this
moment Susanna opens the door (timorously, as if there might be a panther
behind it) and announces the cab (in the same tone in which she would
announce the beast); we pick up our draperies, and are whirled off by the
lamiter to dine with the Scottish nobility.
Chapter VI. Edinburgh society, past and present.
‘Wha last beside his chair shall fa’
He is the king amang us three!’
It was the Princess Dashkoff who said, in the latter part of the
eighteenth century, that of all the societies of men of talent she had met
with in her travels, Edinburgh’s was the first in point of abilities.
One might make the same remark to-day, perhaps, and not depart widely from
the truth. One does not find, however, as many noted names as are
associated with the annals of the Cape and Poker Clubs or the Crochallan
Fencibles, those famous groups of famous men who met for relaxation (and
intoxication, I should think) at the old Isle of Man Arms or in Dawney’s
Tavern in the Anchor Close. These groups included such shining lights as
Robert Fergusson the poet, and Adam Ferguson the historian and
philosopher, Gavin Wilson, Sir Henry Raeburn, David Hume, Erskine, Lords
Newton, Gillies, Monboddo, Hailes, Kames, Henry Mackenzie, and the
Ploughman Poet himself, who has kept alive the memory of the Crochallans
in many a jovial verse like that in which he describes Smellie, the
eccentric philosopher and printer:—
‘Shrewd Willie Smellie to Crochallan came,
The old cocked hat, the grey surtout the same,
His bristling beard just rising in its might;
‘Twas four long nights and days to shaving night’;
or in the characteristic picture of William Dunbar, a wit of the time, and
the merriest of the Fencibles:—
‘As I cam by Crochallan
I cannily keekit ben;
Rattlin’, roarin’ Willie
Was sitting at yon boord en’;
Sitting at yon boord en’,
And amang guid companie!
Rattlin’, roarin’ Willie,
Ye’re welcome hame to me!’
or in the verses on Creech, Burns’s publisher, who left Edinburgh for a
time in 1789. The ‘Willies,’ by the way, seem to be especially inspiring
to the Scottish balladists.
‘Oh, Willie was a witty wight,
And had o’ things an unco slight!
Auld Reekie aye he keepit tight
And trig and braw;
But now they’ll busk her like a fright—
Willie’s awa’!’
I think perhaps the gatherings of the present time are neither quite as
gay nor quite as brilliant as those of Burns’s day, when
‘Willie brewed a peck o’ maut,
An’ Rob an’ Allan cam to pree’;
but the ideal standard of those meetings seems to be voiced in the lines:—
‘Wha last beside his chair shall fa’,
He is the king amang us three!’
As they sit in their chairs nowadays to the very end of the feast, there
is doubtless joined with modern sobriety a soupcon of modern dulness and
discretion.
To an American the great charm of Edinburgh is its leisurely atmosphere:
‘not the leisure of a village arising from the deficiency of ideas and
motives, but the leisure of a city reposing grandly on tradition and
history; which has done its work, and does not require to weave its own
clothing, to dig its own coals, or smelt its own iron.’
We were reminded of this more than once, and it never failed to depress us
properly. If one had ever lived in Pittsburg, Fall River, or Kansas City,
I should think it would be almost impossible to maintain self-respect in a
place like Edinburgh, where the citizens ‘are released from the
vulgarising dominion of the hour.’ Whenever one of Auld Reekie’s great men
took this tone with me, I always felt as though I were the germ in a
half-hatched egg, and he were an aged and lordly cock gazing at me
pityingly through my shell. He, lucky creature, had lived through all the
struggles which I was to undergo; he, indeed, was released from ‘the
vulgarising dominion of the hour’; but I, poor thing, must grow and grow,
and keep pecking at my shell, in order to achieve existence.
Sydney Smith says in one of his letters, ‘Never shall I forget the happy
days passed there [in Edinburgh], amidst odious smells, barbarous sounds,
bad suppers, excellent hearts, and the most enlightened and cultivated
understandings.’ His only criticism of the conversation of that day
(1797-1802) concerned itself with the prevalence of that form of Scotch
humour which was called wut; and with the disputations and dialectics. We
were more fortunate than Sydney Smith, because Edinburgh has outgrown its
odious smells, barbarous sounds, and bad suppers and, wonderful to relate,
has kept its excellent hearts and its enlightened and cultivated
understandings. As for mingled wut and dialectics, where can one find a
better foundation for dinner-table conversation?
The hospitable board itself presents no striking differences from our own,
save the customs of serving sweets in soup-plates with dessert-spoons, of
a smaller number of forks on parade, of the invariable fish-knife at each
plate, of the prevalent ‘savoury’ and ‘cold shape,’ and the unusual grace
and skill with which the hostess carves. Even at very large dinners one
occasionally sees a lady of high degree severing the joints of chickens
and birds most daintily, while her lord looks on in happy idleness,
thinking, perhaps, how greatly times have changed for the better since the
ages of strife and bloodshed, when Scottish nobles
‘Carved at the meal with gloves of steel,
And drank their wine through helmets barred.’
The Scotch butler is not in the least like an English one. No man could be
as respectable as he looks, not even an elder of the kirk, whom he
resembles closely. He hands your plate as if it were a contribution-box,
and in his moments of ease, when he stands behind the ‘maister,’ I am
always expecting him to pronounce a benediction. The English butler, when
he wishes to avoid the appearance of listening to the conversation, gazes
with level eye into vacancy; the Scotch butler looks distinctly
heavenward, as if he were brooding on the principle of co-ordinate
jurisdiction with mutual subordination. It would be impossible for me to
deny the key of the wine-cellar to a being so steeped in sanctity, but it
has been done, I am told, in certain rare and isolated cases.
As for toilets, the men dress like all other men (alas, and alas, that we
should say it, for we were continually hoping for a kilt!) though there
seems to be no survival of the finical Lord Napier’s spirit. Perhaps you
remember that Lord and Lady Napier arrived at Castlemilk in Lanarkshire
with the intention of staying a week, but announced next morning that a
circumstance had occurred which rendered it indispensable to return
without delay to their seat in Selkirkshire. This was the only explanation
given, but it was afterwards discovered that Lord Napier’s valet had
committed the grievous mistake of packing up a set of neckcloths which did
not correspond IN POINT OF DATE with the shirts they accompanied!
The ladies of the ‘smart set’ in Edinburgh wear French fripperies and
chiffons, as do their sisters every where, but the other women of society
dress a trifle more staidly than their cousins in London, Paris, or New
York. The sobriety of taste and severity of style that characterise
Scotswomen may be due, like Susanna Crum’s dubieties, to the haar, to the
shorter catechism, or perhaps in some degree to the presence of three
branches of the Presbyterian Church among them; the society that bears in
its bosom three separate and antagonistic kinds of Presbyterianism at the
same time must have its chilly moments.
In Lord Cockburn’s time the ‘dames of high and aristocratic breed’ must
have been sufficiently awake to feminine frivolities to be both gorgeously
and extravagantly arrayed. I do not know in all literature a more
delicious and lifelike word-portrait than Lord Cockburn gives of Mrs.
Rochead, the Lady of Inverleith, in the Memorials. It is quite worthy to
hang beside a Raeburn canvas; one can scarce say more.
‘Except Mrs. Siddons in some of her displays of magnificent royalty,
nobody could sit down like the Lady of Inverleith. She would sail like a
ship from Tarshish, gorgeous in velvet or rustling silk, done up in all
the accompaniments of fans, ear-rings, and finger-rings, falling sleeves,
scent-bottle, embroidered bag, hoop, and train; managing all this
seemingly heavy rigging with as much ease as a full-blown swan does its
plumage. She would take possession of the centre of a large sofa, and at
the same moment, without the slightest visible exertion, cover the whole
of it with her bravery, the graceful folds seeming to lay themselves over
it, like summer waves. The descent from her carriage, too, where she sat
like a nautilus in its shell, was a display which no one in these days
could accomplish or even fancy. The mulberry-coloured coach, apparently
not too large for what it contained, though she alone was in it; the
handsome, jolly coachman and his splendid hammer-cloth loaded with lace;
the two respectful liveried footmen, one on each side of the richly
carpeted step,—these were lost sight of amidst the slow majesty with
which the Lady of Inverleith came down and touched the earth.’
My right-hand neighbour at Lady Baird’s dinner was surprised at my quoting
Lord Cockburn. One’s attendant squires here always seem surprised when one
knows anything; but they are always delighted, too, so that the amazement
is less trying. True, I had read the Memorials only the week before, and
had never heard of them previous to that time; but that detail, according
to my theories, makes no real difference. The woman who knows how and when
to ‘read up,’ who reads because she wants to be in sympathy with a new
environment; the woman who has wit and perspective enough to be stimulated
by novel conditions and kindled by fresh influences, who is susceptible to
the vibrations of other people’s history, is safe to be fairly intelligent
and extremely agreeable, if only she is sufficiently modest. I think my
neighbour found me thoroughly delightful after he discovered my point of
view. He was an earl; and it always takes an earl a certain length of time
to understand me. I scarcely know why, for I certainly should not think it
courteous to interpose any real barriers between the nobility and that
portion of the ‘masses’ represented in my humble person.
It seemed to me at first that the earl did not apply himself to the study
of my national peculiarities with much assiduity, but wasted considerable
time in gazing at Francesca, who was opposite. She is certainly very
handsome, and I never saw her lovelier than at that dinner; her eyes were
like stars, and her cheeks and lips a splendid crimson, for she was
quarrelling with her attendant cavalier about the relative merits of
Scotland and America, and they apparently ceased to speak to each other
after the salad.
When the earl had sufficiently piqued me by his devotion to his dinner and
his glances at Francesca, I began a systematic attempt to achieve his
(transient) subjugation. Of course I am ardently attached to Willie
Beresford and prefer him to any earl in Britain, but one’s self-respect
demands something in the way of food. I could see Salemina at the far end
of the table radiant with success, the W.S. at her side bending ever and
anon to catch the (artificial) pearls of thought that dropped from her
lips. “Miss Hamilton appears simple” (I thought I heard her say); “but in
reality she is as deep as the Currie Brig!” Now where did she get that
allusion? And again, when the W.S. asked her whither she was going when
she left Edinburgh, “I hardly know,” she replied pensively. “I am waiting
for the shade of Montrose to direct me, as the Viscount Dundee said to
your Duke of Gordon.” The entranced Scotsman little knew that she had
perfected this style of conversation by long experience with the Q.C.‘s of
England. Talk about my being as deep as the Currie Brig (whatever it may
be); Salemina is deeper than the Atlantic Ocean! I shall take pains to
inform her Writer to the Signet, after dinner, that she eats sugar on her
porridge every morning; that will show him her nationality conclusively.
The earl took the greatest interest in my new ancestors, and approved
thoroughly of my choice. He thinks I must have been named for Lady
Penelope Belhaven, who lived in Leven Lodge, one of the country villas of
the Earls of Leven, from whom he himself is descended. “Does that make us
relatives?” I asked. “Relatives, most assuredly,” he replied, “but not too
near to destroy the charm of friendship.”
He thought it a great deal nicer to select one’s own forebears than to
allow them all the responsibility, and said it would save a world of
trouble if the method could be universally adopted. He added that he
should be glad to part with a good many of his, but doubted whether I
would accept them, as they were ‘rather a scratch lot.’ (I use his own
language, which I thought delightfully easy for a belted earl.) He was
charmed with the story of Francesca and the lamiter, and offered to drive
me to Kildonan House, Helmsdale, on the first fine day. I told him he was
quite safe in making the proposition, for we had already had the fine day,
and we understood that the climate had exhausted itself and retired for
the season.
The gentleman on my left, a distinguished Dean of the Thistle, gave me a
few moments’ discomfort by telling me that the old custom of ‘rounds’ of
toasts still prevailed at Lady Baird’s on formal occasions, and that
before the ladies retired every one would be called upon for appropriate
‘sentiments.’
“What sort of sentiments?” I inquired, quite overcome with terror.
“Oh, epigrammatic sentences expressive of moral feelings or virtues,”
replied my neighbour easily. “They are not quite as formal and hackneyed
now as they were in the olden time, when some of the favourite toasts were
‘May the pleasure of the evening bear the reflections of the morning!’
‘May the friends of our youth be the companions of our old age!’ ‘May the
honest heart never feel distress!’ ‘May the hand of charity wipe the eye
of sorrow!’”
“I can never do it in the world!” I ejaculated. “Oh, one ought never,
never to leave one’s own country! A light-minded and cynical English
gentleman told me that I should frequently be called upon to read hymns
and recite verses of Scripture at family dinners in Edinburgh, and I hope
I am always prepared to do that; but nobody warned me that I should have
to evolve epigrammatic sentiments on the spur of the moment.”
My confusion was so evident that the good dean relented and confessed that
he was imposing upon my ignorance. He made me laugh heartily at the story
of a poor dominie at Arndilly. He was called upon in his turn, at a large
party, and having nothing to aid him in an exercise to which he was new
save the example of his predecessors, lifted his glass after much writhing
and groaning and gave, “The reflection of the moon in the cawm bosom of
the lake!”
At this moment Lady Baird glanced at me, and we all rose to go into the
drawing-room; but on the way from my chair to the door, whither the earl
escorted me, he said gallantly, “I suppose the men in your country do not
take champagne at dinner? I cannot fancy their craving it when dining
beside an American woman!”
That was charming, though he did pay my country a compliment at my
expense. One likes, of course, to have the type recognised as fine; at the
same time his remark would have been more flattering if it had been less
sweeping.
When I remember that he offered me his ancestors, asked me to drive two
hundred and eighty miles, and likened me to champagne, I feel that, with
my heart already occupied and my hand promised, I could hardly have
accomplished more in the course of a single dinner-hour.
Chapter VII. Francesca meets th’ unconquer’d Scot.
Francesca’s experiences were not so fortunate; indeed, I have never seen
her more out of sorts than she was during our long chat over the fire,
after our return to Breadalbane Terrace.
“How did you get on with your delightful minister?” inquired Salemina of
the young lady, as she flung her unoffending wrap over the back of a
chair. “He was quite the handsomest man in the room; who is he?”
“He is the Reverend Ronald Macdonald, and the most disagreeable,
condescending, ill-tempered prig I ever met!”
“Why, Francesca!” I exclaimed. “Lady Baird speaks of him as her favourite
nephew, and says he is full of charm.”
“He is just as full of charm as he was when I met him,” returned the girl
nonchalantly; “that is, he parted with none of it this evening. He was
incorrigibly stiff and rude, and oh! so Scotch! I believe if one punctured
him with a hat-pin, oatmeal would fly into the air!”
“Doubtless you acquainted him, early in the evening, with the immeasurable
advantages of our sleeping-car system, the superiority of our fast-running
elevators, and the height of our buildings?” observed Salemina.
“I mentioned them,” Francesca answered evasively.
“You naturally inveighed against the Scotch climate?”
“Oh, I alluded to it; but only when he said that our hot summers must be
insufferable.”
“I suppose you repeated the remark you made at luncheon, that the ladies
you had seen in Princes Street were excessively plain?”
“Yes, I did!” she replied hotly; “but that was because he said that
American girls generally looked bloodless and frail. He asked if it were
really true that they ate chalk and slate pencils. Wasn’t that
unendurable? I answered that those were the chief solid article of food,
but that after their complexions were established, so to speak, their
parents often allowed them pickles and native claret to vary the diet.”
“What did he say to that?” I asked.
“Oh, he said, ‘Quite so, quite so’; that was his invariable response to
all my witticisms. Then when I told him casually that the shops looked
very small and dark and stuffy here, and that there were not as many
tartans and plaids in the windows as we had expected, he remarked that as
to the latter point, the American season had not opened yet! Presently he
asserted that no royal city in Europe could boast ten centuries of such
glorious and stirring history as Edinburgh. I said it did not appear to be
stirring much at present, and that everything in Scotland seemed a little
slow to an American; that he could have no idea of push or enterprise
until he visited a city like Chicago. He retorted that, happily, Edinburgh
was peculiarly free from the taint of the ledger and the counting-house;
that it was Weimar without a Goethe, Boston without its twang!”
“Incredible!” cried Salemina, deeply wounded in her local pride. “He never
could have said ‘twang’ unless you had tried him beyond measure!”
“I dare say I did; he is easily tried,” returned Francesca. “I asked him,
sarcastically, if he had ever been in Boston. ‘No,’ he said, ‘it is not
necessary to GO there! And while we are discussing these matters,’ he went
on, ‘how is your American dyspepsia these days,—have you decided
what is the cause of it?’
“‘Yes, we have,’ said I, as quick as a flash; ‘we have always taken in
more foreigners than we could assimilate!’ I wanted to tell him that one
Scotsman of his type would upset the national digestion anywhere, but I
restrained myself.”
“I am glad you did restrain yourself—once,” exclaimed Salemina.
“What a tactful person the Reverend Ronald must be, if you have reported
him faithfully! Why didn’t you give him up, and turn to your other
neighbour?”
“I did, as soon as I could with courtesy; but the man on my left was the
type that always haunts me at dinners; if the hostess hasn’t one on her
visiting-list she imports one for the occasion. He asked me at once of
what material the Brooklyn Bridge is made. I told him I really didn’t
know. Why should I? I seldom go over it. Then he asked me whether it was a
suspension bridge or a cantilever. Of course I didn’t know; I am not an
engineer.”
“You are so tactlessly, needlessly candid,” I expostulated. “Why didn’t
you say boldly that the Brooklyn Bridge is a wooden cantilever, with
gutta-percha braces? He didn’t know, or he wouldn’t have asked you. He
couldn’t find out until he reached home, and you would never have seen him
again; and if you had, and he had taunted you, you could have laughed
vivaciously and said you were chaffing. That is my method, and it is the
only way to preserve life in a foreign country. Even my earl, who did not
thirst for information (fortunately), asked me the population of the
Yellowstone Park, and I simply told him three hundred thousand, at a
venture.”
“That would never have satisfied my neighbour,” said Francesca. “Finding
me in such a lamentable state of ignorance, he explained the principle of
his own stupid Forth Bridge to me. When I said I understood perfectly,
just to get into shallower water, where we wouldn’t need any bridge, the
Reverend Ronald joined in the conversation, and asked me to repeat the
explanation to him. Naturally I couldn’t, and he knew that I couldn’t when
he asked me, so the bridge man (I don’t know his name, and don’t care to
know it) drew a diagram of the national idol on his dinner-card and gave a
dull and elaborate lecture upon it. Here is the card, and now that three
hours have intervened I cannot tell which way to turn the drawing so as to
make the bridge right side up; if there is anything puzzling in the world,
it is these architectural plans and diagrams. I am going to pin it to the
wall and ask the Reverend Ronald which way it goes.”
“Do you mean that he will call upon us?” we cried in concert.
“He asked if he might come and continue our ‘stimulating’ conversation,
and as Lady Baird was standing by I could hardly say no. I am sure of one
thing: that before I finish with him I will widen his horizon so that he
will be able to see something beside Scotland and his little insignificant
Fifeshire parish! I told him our country parishes in America were ten
times as large as his. He said he had heard that they covered a good deal
of territory, and that the ministers’ salaries were sometimes paid in pork
and potatoes. That shows you the style of his retorts!”
“I really cannot decide which of you was the more disagreeable,” said
Salemina; “if he calls, I shall not remain in the room.”
“I wouldn’t gratify him by staying out,” retorted Francesca. “He is
extremely good for the circulation; I think I was never so warm in my life
as when I talked with him; as physical exercise he is equal to bicycling.
The bridge man is coming to call, too. I made him a diagram of Breadalbane
Terrace, and a plan of the hall and staircase, on my dinner-card. He was
distinctly ungrateful; in fact, he remarked that he had been born in this
very house, but would not trust himself to find his way upstairs with my
plan as a guide. He also said the American vocabulary was vastly amusing,
so picturesque, unstudied, and fresh.”
“That was nice, surely,” I interpolated.
“You know perfectly well that it was an insult.”
“Francesca is very like that young man,” laughed Salemina, “who, whenever
he engaged in controversy, seemed to take off his flesh and sit in his
nerves.”
“I’m not supersensitive,” replied Francesca, “but when one’s vocabulary is
called picturesque by a Britisher, one always knows he is thinking of
cowboys and broncos. However, I shifted the weight into the other scale by
answering ‘Thank you. And your phraseology is just as unusual to us.’
‘Indeed?’ he said with some surprise. ‘I supposed our method of expression
very sedate and uneventful.’ ‘Not at all,’ I returned, ‘when you say, as
you did a moment ago, that you never eat potato to your fish.’ ‘But I do
not,’ he urged obtusely. ‘Very likely,’ I argued, ‘but the fact is not of
so much importance as the preposition. Now I eat potato WITH my fish.’
‘You make a mistake,’ he said, and we both laughed in spite of ourselves,
while he murmured, ‘eating potato WITH fish—how extraordinary.’
Well, the bridge man may not add perceptibly to the gaiety of the nations,
but he is better than the Reverend Ronald. I forgot to say that when I
chanced to be speaking of doughnuts, that ‘unconquer’d Scot’ asked me if a
doughnut resembled a peanut? Can you conceive such ignorance?”
“I think you were not only aggressively American, but painfully
provincial,” said Salemina, with some warmth. “Why in the world should you
drag doughnuts into a dinner-table conversation in Edinburgh? Why not
select topics of universal interest?”
“Like the Currie Brig or the shade of Montrose,” I murmured slyly.
“To one who has ever eaten a doughnut, the subject is of transcendent
interest; and as for one who has not—well, he should be made to feel
his limitations,” replied Francesca, with a yawn. “Come, let us forget our
troubles in sleep; it is after midnight.”
About half an hour later she came to my bedside, her dark hair hanging
over her white gown, her eyes still bright.
“Penelope,” she said softly, “I did not dare tell Salemina, and I should
not confess it to you save that I am afraid Lady Baird will complain of
me; but I was dreadfully rude to the Reverend Ronald! I couldn’t help it;
he roused my worst passions. It all began with his saying he thought
international marriages presented even more difficulties to the
imagination than the other kind. I hadn’t said anything about marriages
nor thought anything about marriages of any sort, but I told him INSTANTLY
I considered that every international marriage involved two national
suicides. He said that he shouldn’t have put it quite so forcibly, but
that he hadn’t given much thought to the subject. I said that I had, and I
thought we had gone on long enough filling the coffers of the British
nobility with American gold.”
“FRANCES!” I interrupted. “Don’t tell me that you made that vulgar, cheap
newspaper assertion!”
“I did,” she replied stoutly, “and at the moment I only wished I could
make it stronger. If there had been anything cheaper or more vulgar, I
should have said it, but of course there isn’t. Then he remarked that the
British nobility merited and needed all the support it could get in these
hard times, and asked if we had not cherished some intention in the
States, lately, of bestowing it in greenbacks instead of gold! I threw all
manners to the winds after that and told him that there were no husbands
in the world like American men, and that foreigners never seemed to have
any proper consideration for women. Now, were my remarks any worse than
his, after all, and what shall I do about it anyway?”
“You should go to bed first,” I murmured sleepily; “and if you ever have
an opportunity to make amends, which I doubt, you should devote yourself
to showing the Reverend Ronald the breadth of your own horizon instead of
trying so hard to broaden his. As you are extremely pretty, you may
possibly succeed; man is human, and I dare say in a month you will be
advising him to love somebody more worthy than yourself. (He could easily
do it!) Now don’t kiss me again, for I am displeased with you; I hate
international bickering!”
“So do I,” agreed Francesca virtuously, as she plaited her hair, “and
there is no spectacle so abhorrent to every sense as a narrow-minded man
who cannot see anything outside of his own country. But he is awfully
good-looking,—I will say that for him: and if you don’t explain me
to Lady Baird, I will write to Mr. Beresford about the earl. There was no
bickering there; it was looking at you two that made us think of
international marriages.”
“It must have suggested to you that speech about filling the coffers of
the British nobility,” I replied sarcastically, “inasmuch as the earl has
twenty thousand pounds a year, probably, and I could barely buy two gold
hairpins to pin on the coronet. There, do go away and leave me in peace!”
“Good night again, then,” she said, as she rose reluctantly from the foot
of the bed. “I doubt if I can sleep for thinking what a pity it is that
such an egotistic, bumptious, pugnacious, prejudiced, insular, bigoted
person should be so handsome! And who wants to marry him any way, that he
should be so distressed about international alliances? One would think
that all female America was sighing to lead him to the altar!”
Chapter VIII. ‘What made th’ Assembly shine?’
Two or three days ago we noted an unusual though subdued air of excitement
at 22 Breadalbane Terrace, where for a week we had been the sole lodgers.
Mrs. Menzies, whom we call Mingess, has returned to Kilconquhar, which she
calls Kinyuchar; Miss Cockburn-Sinclair has purchased her wedding outfit
and gone back to Inverness, where she will be greeted as Coburn-Sinkler;
the Hepburn-Sciennes will be leaving to-morrow, just as we have learned to
pronounce their names; and the sound of the scrubbing-brush is heard in
the land. In corners where all was clean and spotless before, Mrs.
M’Collop is digging with the broom, and the maiden Boots is following her
with a damp cloth. The stair carpets are hanging on lines in the back
garden, and Susanna, with her cap rakishly on one side, is always to be
seen polishing the stair-rods. Whenever we traverse the halls we are
obliged to leap over pails of suds, and Miss Diggity-Dalgety has given us
two dinners which bore a curious resemblance to washing-day repasts in
suburban America.
“Is it spring house-cleaning?” I ask Mistress M’Collop.
“Na, na,” she replies hurriedly; “it’s the meenisters.”
On the 19th of May we are a maiden castle no longer. Black coats and hats
ring at the bell, and pass in and out of the different apartments. The
hall table is sprinkled with letters, visiting-cards, and programmes which
seem to have had the alphabet shaken out upon them, for they bear the
names of professors, doctors, reverends, and very reverends, and fairly
bristle with A.M.‘s, M.A.‘s, A.B.‘s, D.D.‘s, and LL.D.‘s. The voice of
family prayer is lifted up from the dining-room floor, and paraphrases and
hymns float down the stairs from above. Their Graces the Lord High
Commissioner and the Marchioness of Heatherdale will arrive to-day at
Holyrood Palace, there to reside during the sittings of the General
Assembly of the Church of Scotland, and to-morrow the Royal Standard will
be hoisted at Edinburgh Castle from reveille to retreat. His Grace will
hold a levee at eleven. Directly His Grace leaves the palace after the
levee, the guard of honour will proceed by the Canongate to receive him on
his arrival at St. Giles’ Church, and will then proceed to Assembly Hall
to receive him on his arrival there. The Sixth Inniskilling Dragoons and
the First Battalion Royal Scots will be in attendance, and there will be
Unicorns, Carricks, pursuivants, heralds, mace-bearers, ushers, and pages,
together with the Purse-bearer, and the Lyon King-of-Arms, and the
national anthem, and the royal salute; for the palace has awakened and is
‘mimicking its past.’
‘Should the weather be wet, the troops will be cloaked at the discretion
of the commanding officer.’ They print this instruction as a matter of
form, and of course every man has his macintosh ready. The only hope lies
in the fact that this is a national function, and ‘Queen’s weather’ is a
possibility. The one personage for whom the Scottish climate will
occasionally relax is Her Majesty Queen Victoria, who for sixty years has
exerted a benign influence on British skies and at least secured sunshine
on great parade days. Such women are all too few!
In this wise enters His Grace the Lord High Commissioner to open the
General Assembly of the Church of Scotland; and on the same day there
arrives by the railway (but travelling first class) the Moderator of the
Church of Scotland Free, to convene its separate supreme Courts in
Edinburgh. He will have no Union Jacks, Royal Standards, Dragoons, bands,
or pipers; he will bear his own purse and stay at an hotel; but when the
final procession of all comes, he will probably march beside His Grace the
Lord High Commissioner, and they will talk together, not of dead-and-gone
kingdoms, but of the one at hand, where there are no more divisions in the
ranks, and where all the soldiers are simply ‘king’s men,’ marching to
victory under the inspiration of a common watchword.
It is a matter of regret to us that the U.P.‘s, the third branch of
Scottish Presbyterianism, could not be holding an Assembly during this
same week, so that we might the more easily decide in which flock we
really belong. 22 Breadalbane Terrace now represents all shades of
religious opinion within the bounds of Presbyterianism. We have an Elder,
a Professor of Biblical Criticism, a Majesty’s Chaplain, and even an
ex-Moderator under our roof, and they are equally divided between the Free
and the Established bodies.
Mrs. M’Collop herself is a pillar of the Free Kirk, but she has no
prejudice in lodgers, and says so long as she ‘mak’s her rent she doesna
care aboot their releegious principles.’ Miss Diggity-Dalgety is the sole
representative of United Presbyterianism in the household, and she is
somewhat gloomy in Assembly time. To belong to a dissenting body, and yet
to cook early and late for the purpose of fattening one’s religious
rivals, is doubtless trying to the temper; and then she asserts that
‘meenisters are aye tume [empty].’
“You must put away your Scottish ballads and histories now, Salemina, and
keep your Concordance and your umbrella constantly at hand.”
This I said as we stood on George IV. Bridge and saw the ministers
glooming down from the Mound in a dense Assembly fog. As the presence of
any considerable number of priests on an ocean steamer is supposed to
bring rough weather, so the addition of a few hundred parsons to the
population of Edinburgh is believed to induce rain,—or perhaps I
should say, more rain.
Of course, when one is in perfect bodily health one can more readily
resist the infection of disease. Similarly if Scottish skies were not
ready and longing to pour out rain, were not ignobly weak in holding it
back, they would not be so susceptible to the depressing influences of
visiting ministers. This is Francesca’s theory as stated to the Reverend
Ronald, who was holding an umbrella over her ungrateful head at the time;
and she went on to boast of a convention she once attended in California,
where twenty-six thousand Christian Endeavourers were unable to dim the
American sunshine, though they stayed ten days.
“Our first duty, both to ourselves and to the community,” I continued to
Salemina, “is to learn how there can be three distinct kinds of proper
Presbyterianism. Perhaps it would be a graceful act on our part if we
should each espouse a different kind; then there would be no feeling among
our Edinburgh friends. And again what is this ‘union’ of which we hear
murmurs? Is it religious or political? Is it an echo of the 1707 Union you
explained to us last week, or is it a new one? What is Disestablishment?
What is Disruption? Are they the same thing? What is the Sustentation
Fund? What was the Non-Intrusion party? What was the Dundas Despotism?
What is the argument at present going on about taking the Shorter
Catechism out of the schools? What is the Shorter Catechism, any way,—or
at least what have they left out of the Longer Catechism to make it
shorter,—and is the length of the Catechism one of the points of
difference? then when we have looked up Chalmers and Candlish, we can ask
the ex-Moderator and the Professor of Biblical Criticism to tea;
separately, of course, lest there should be ecclesiastical quarrels.”
Salemina and Francesca both incline to the Established church, I lean
instinctively toward the Free; but that does not mean that we have any
knowledge of the differences that separate them. Salemina is a
conservative in all things; she loves law, order, historic associations,
old customs; and so when there is a regularly established national church,—or,
for that matter, a regularly established anything, she gravitates to it by
the law of her being. Francesca’s religious convictions, when she is away
from her own minister and native land, are inclined to be flexible. The
church that enters Edinburgh with a marquis and a marchioness representing
the Crown, the church that opens its Assembly with splendid processions
and dignified pageants, the church that dispenses generous hospitality
from Holyrood Palace,—above all, the church that escorts its Lord
High Commissioner from place to place with bands and pipers,—that is
the church to which she pledges her constant presence and enthusiastic
support.
As for me, I believe I am a born protestant, or ‘come-outer,’ as they used
to call dissenters in the early days of New England. I have not yet had
time to study the question, but as I lack all knowledge of the other two
branches of Presbyterianism, I am enabled to say unhesitatingly that I
belong to the Free Kirk. To begin with, the very word ‘free’ has a
fascination for the citizen of a republic; and then my theological
training was begun this morning by a gifted young minister of Edinburgh
whom we call the Friar, because the first time we saw him in his gown and
bands (the little spot of sheer whiteness beneath the chin, that lends
such added spirituality to a spiritual face) we fancied that he looked
like some pale brother of the Church in the olden time. His pallor, in a
land of rosy redness and milky whiteness; his smooth, fair hair, which in
the light from the stained-glass window above the pulpit looked reddish
gold; the Southern heat of passionate conviction that coloured his slow
Northern speech; the remoteness of his personality; the weariness of his
deep-set eyes, that bespoke such fastings and vigils as he probably never
practised,—all this led to our choice of the name.
As we walked toward St. Andrew’s Church and Tanfield Hall, where he
insisted on taking me to get the ‘proper historical background,’ he told
me about the great Disruption movement. He was extremely eloquent,—so
eloquent that the image of Willie Beresford tottered continually on its
throne, and I found not the slightest difficulty in giving an unswerving
allegiance to the principles presented by such an orator.
We went first to St. Andrew’s, where the General Assembly met in 1843, and
where the famous exodus of the Free Protesting Church took place,—one
of the most important events in the modern history of the United Kingdom.
The movement was promoted by the great Dr. Chalmers and his party, mainly
to abolish the patronage of livings, then in the hands of certain heritors
or patrons, who might appoint any minister they wished, without consulting
the congregation. Needless to say, as a free-born American citizen, and
never having had a heritor in the family, my blood easily boiled at the
recital of such tyranny. In 1834 the Church had passed a law of its own,
it seems, ordaining that no presentee to a parish should be admitted, if
opposed by the majority of the male communicants. That would have been
well enough could the State have been made to agree, though I should have
gone further, personally, and allowed the female communicants to have some
voice in the matter.
The Friar took me into a particularly chilly historic corner, and, leaning
against a damp stone pillar, painted the scene in St. Andrew’s when the
Assembly met in the presence of a great body of spectators, while a vast
throng gathered without, breathlessly awaiting the result. No one believed
that any large number of ministers would relinquish livings and stipends
and cast their bread upon the waters for what many thought a ‘fantastic
principle.’ Yet when the Moderator left his place, after reading a formal
protest signed by one hundred and twenty ministers and seventy-two elders,
he was followed first by Dr. Chalmers, and then by four hundred and
seventy men, who marched in a body to Tanfield Hall, where they formed
themselves into the General Assembly of the Free Church of Scotland. When
Lord Jeffrey was told of it an hour later, he exclaimed, ‘Thank God for
Scotland! there is not another country on earth where such a deed could be
done!’ And the Friar reminded me proudly of Macaulay’s saying that the
Scots had made sacrifices for the sake of religious opinion for which
there was no parallel in the annals of England. On the next Sunday after
these remarkable scenes in Edinburgh there were heart-breaking farewells,
so the Friar said, in many village parishes, when the minister, in
dismissing his congregation, told them that he had ceased to belong to the
Established Church and would neither preach nor pray in that pulpit again;
that he had joined the Free Protesting Church of Scotland, and, God
willing, would speak the next Sabbath morning at the manse door to as many
as cared to follow him. “What affecting leave-takings there must have
been!” the Friar exclaimed. “When my grandfather left his church that May
morning, only fifteen members remained behind, and he could hear the more
courageous say to the timid ones, ‘Tak’ your Bible and come awa’, mon!’
Was not all this a splendid testimony to the power of principle and the
sacred demands of conscience?” I said “Yea” most heartily, for the spirit
of Jenny Geddes stirred within me that morning, and under the spell of the
Friar’s kindling eye and eloquent voice I positively gloried in the
valiant achievements of the Free Church. It would always be easier for a
woman to say, “Yea” than “Nay” to the Friar. When he left me in
Breadalbane Terrace I was at heart a member of his congregation in good
(and irregular) standing, ready to teach in his Sunday-school, sing in his
choir, visit his aged and sick poor, and especially to stand between him
and a too admiring feminine constituency.
When I entered the drawing-room, I found that Salemina had just enjoyed an
hour’s conversation with the ex-Moderator of the opposite church wing.
“Oh, my dear,” she sighed, “you have missed such a treat! You have no
conception of these Scottish ministers of the Establishment,—such
culture, such courtliness of manner, such scholarship, such spirituality,
such wise benignity of opinion! I asked the doctor to explain the
Disruption movement to me, and he was most interesting and lucid, and most
affecting, too, when he described the misunderstandings and misconceptions
that the Church suffered in those terrible days of 1843, when its very
life-blood, as well as its integrity and unity, were threatened by the
foes in its own household; when breaches of faith and trust occurred on
all sides, and dissents and disloyalties shook it to its very foundation!
You see, Penelope, I have never fully understood the disagreements about
heritors and livings and state control before, but here is the whole
matter in a nut-sh—”
“My dear Salemina,” I interposed, with dignity, “you will pardon me, I am
sure, when I tell you that any discussion on this point would be intensely
painful to me, as I now belong to the Free Kirk.”
“Where have you been this morning?” she asked, with a piercing glance.
“To St. Andrew’s and Tanfield Hall.”
“With whom?”
“With the Friar.”
“I see! Happy the missionary to whom you incline your ear, FIRST!”—which
I thought rather inconsistent of Salemina, as she had been converted by
precisely the same methods and in precisely the same length of time as had
I, the only difference being in the ages of our respective missionaries,
one being about five-and-thirty, and other five-and-sixty. Even this is to
my credit after all, for if one can be persuaded so quickly and fully by a
young and comparatively inexperienced man, it shows that one must be
extremely susceptible to spiritual influences or—something.
Chapter IX. Omnia presbyteria est divisa in partes tres.
Religion in Edinburgh is a theory, a convention, a fashion (both humble
and aristocratic), a sensation, an intellectual conviction, an emotion, a
dissipation, a sweet habit of the blood; in fact, it is, it seems to me,
every sort of thing it can be to the human spirit.
When we had finished our church toilettes, and came into the drawing-room,
on the first Sunday morning, I remember that we found Francesca at the
window.
“There is a battle, murder, or sudden death going on in the square below,”
she said. “I am going to ask Susanna to ask Mrs. M’Collop what it means.
Never have I seen such a crowd moving peacefully, with no excitement or
confusion, in one direction. Where can the people be going? Do you suppose
it is a fire? Why, I believe... it cannot be possible... yes, they
certainly are disappearing in that big church on the corner; and millions,
simply millions and trillions, are coming in the other direction,—toward
St. Knox’s.”
Impressive as was this morning church-going, a still greater surprise
awaited us at seven o’clock in the evening, when the crowd blocked the
streets on two sides of a church near Breadalbane Terrace; and though it
was quite ten minutes before service when we entered, Salemina and I only
secured the last two seats in the aisle, and Francesca was obliged to sit
on the steps of the pulpit or seek a sermon elsewhere.
It amused me greatly to see Francesca sitting on pulpit steps, her Paris
gown and smart toque in close juxtaposition to the rusty bonnet and
bombazine dress of a respectable elderly tradeswoman. The church officer
entered first, bearing the great Bible and hymn-book, which he reverently
placed on the pulpit cushions; and close behind him, to our entire
astonishment, came the Reverend Ronald Macdonald, evidently exchanging
with the regular minister of the parish, whom we had come especially to
hear. I pitied Francesca’s confusion and embarrassment, but I was too far
from her to offer an exchange of seats, and through the long service she
sat there at the feet of her foe, so near that she could have touched the
hem of his gown as he knelt devoutly for his first silent prayer.
Perhaps she was thinking of her last interview with him, when she
descanted at length on that superfluity of naughtiness and Biblical
pedantry which, she asserted, made Scottish ministers preach from
out-of-the-way texts.
“I have never been able to find my place in the Bible since I arrived,”
she complained to Salemina, when she was quite sure that Mr. Macdonald was
listening to her; and this he generally was, in my opinion, no matter who
chanced to be talking. “What with their skipping and hopping about from
Haggai to Philemon, Habakkuk to Jude, and Micah to Titus, in their
readings, and then settling on seventh Nahum, sixth Zephaniah, or second
Calathumpians for the sermon, I do nothing but search the Scriptures in
the Edinburgh churches,—search, search, search, until some Christian
by my side or in the pew behind me notices my hapless plight, and hands me
a Bible opened at the text. Last Sunday it was Obadiah first, fifteenth,
‘For the day of the Lord is near upon all the heathen.’ It chanced to be a
returned missionary who was preaching on that occasion; but the Bible is
full of heathen, and why need he have chosen a text from Obadiah, poor
little Obadiah one page long, slipped in between Amos and Jonah, where
nobody but an elder could find him?” If Francesca had not seen with wicked
delight the Reverend Ronald’s expression of anxiety, she would never have
spoken of second Calathumpians; but of course he has no means of knowing
how unlike herself she is when in his company.
To go back to our first Sunday worship in Edinburgh. The church officer
closed the door of the pulpit on the Reverend Ronald, and I thought I
heard the clicking of a lock; at all events, he returned at the close of
the services to liberate him and escort him back to the vestry; for the
entrances and exits of this beadle, or ‘minister’s man,’ as the church
officer is called in the country districts, form an impressive part of the
ceremonies. If he did lock the minister into the pulpit, it is probably
only another national custom, like the occasional locking in of the
passengers in a railway train, and may be positively necessary in the case
of such magnetic and popular preachers as Mr. Macdonald, or the Friar.
I have never seen such attention, such concentration, as in these great
congregations of the Edinburgh churches. As nearly as I can judge, it is
intellectual rather than emotional; but it is not a tribute paid to
eloquence alone, it is habitual and universal, and is yielded loyally to
insufferable dulness when occasion demands.
When the text is announced, there is an indescribable rhythmic movement
forward, followed by a concerted rustle of Bible leaves; not the rustle of
a few Bibles in a few pious pews, but the rustle of all of them in all the
pews,—and there are more Bibles in an Edinburgh Presbyterian church
than one ever sees anywhere else, unless it be in the warehouses of the
Bible Societies.
The text is read twice clearly, and another rhythmic movement follows when
the books are replaced on the shelves. Then there is a delightful settling
back of the entire congregation, a snuggling comfortably into corners and
a fitting of shoulders to the pews.—not to sleep, however; an older
generation may have done that under the strain of a two-hour ‘wearifu’
dreich’ sermon, but these church-goers are not to be caught napping. They
wear, on the contrary, a keen, expectant, critical look, which must be
inexpressibly encouraging to the minister, if he has anything to say. If
he has not (and this is a possibility in Edinburgh, as it is everywhere
else), then I am sure it is wisdom for the beadle to lock him in, lest he
flee when he meets those searching eyes.
The Edinburgh sermon, though doubtless softened in outline in these later
years, is still a more carefully built discourse than one ordinarily hears
out of Scotland, being constructed on conventional lines of doctrine,
exposition, logical inference, and practical application. Though modern
preachers do not announce the division of their subject into heads and
sub-heads, firstlies and secondlies and finallies, my brethren, there
seems to be the old framework underneath the sermon, and every one
recognises it as moving silently below the surface; at least, I always
fancy that as the minister finishes one point and attacks another the
younger folk fix their eagle eyes on him afresh, and the whole
congregation sits up straighter and listens more intently, as if making
mental notes. They do not listen so much as if they were enthralled,
though they often are, and have good reason to be, but as if they were to
pass an examination on the subject afterwards; and I have no doubt that
this is the fact.
The prayers are many, and are divided, apparently, like those of the
liturgies, into petitions, confessions, and aspirations; not forgetting
the all-embracing one with which we are perfectly familiar in our native
land, in which the preacher commends to the Fatherly care every animate
and inanimate thing not mentioned specifically in the foregoing
supplications. It was in the middle of this compendious petition, ‘the
lang prayer,’ that rheumatic old Scottish dames used to make a practice of
‘cheengin’ the fit,’ as they stood devoutly through it. “When the
meenister comes to the ‘ingetherin’ o’ the Gentiles,’ I ken weel it’s time
to cheenge legs, for then the prayer is jist half dune,” said a good
sermon-taster of Fife.
The organ is finding its way rapidly into the Scottish kirks (how can the
shade of John Knox endure a ‘kist o’ whistles’ in good St. Giles’?), but
it is not used yet in some of those we attend most frequently. There is a
certain quaint solemnity, a beautiful austerity, in the unaccompanied
singing of hymns that touches me profoundly. I am often carried very high
on the waves of splendid church music, when the organ’s thunder rolls
‘through vaulted aisles’ and the angelic voices of a trained choir chant
the aspirations of my soul for me; and when an Edinburgh congregation
stands, and the precentor leads in that noble paraphrase,
‘God of our fathers, be the God
Of their succeeding race,’
there is a certain ascetic fervour in it that seems to me the perfection
of worship. It may be that my Puritan ancestors are mainly responsible for
this feeling, or perhaps my recently adopted Jenny Geddes is a factor in
it; of course, if she were in the habit of flinging fauldstules at Deans,
she was probably the friend of truth and the foe of beauty, so far as it
was in her power to separate them.
There is no music during the offertory in these churches, and this, too,
pleases my sense of the fitness of things. It cannot soften the woe of the
people who are disinclined to the giving away of money, and the cheerful
givers need no encouragement. For my part, I like to sit, quite
undistracted by soprano solos, and listen to the refined tinkle of the
sixpences and shillings, and the vulgar chink of the pennies and
ha’pennies, in the contribution-boxes. Country ministers, I am told,
develop such an acute sense of hearing that they can estimate the amount
of the collection before it is counted. There is often a huge pewter plate
just within the church door, in which the offerings are placed as the
worshippers enter or leave; and one always notes the preponderance of
silver at the morning, and of copper at the evening services. It is
perhaps needless to say that before Francesca had been in Edinburgh a
fortnight she asked Mr. Macdonald if it were true that the Scots continued
coining the farthing for years and years, merely to have a piece of money
serviceable for church offerings!
As to social differences in the congregations we are somewhat at sea. We
tried to arrive at a conclusion by the hats and bonnets, than which there
is usually no more infallible test. On our first Sunday we attended the
Free Kirk in the morning, and the Established in the evening. The bonnets
of the Free Kirk were so much the more elegant that we said to one
another, “This is evidently the church of society, though the adjective
‘Free’ should by rights attract the masses.” On the second Sunday we
reversed the order of things, and found the Established bonnets much finer
than the Free bonnets, which was a source of mystification to us, until we
discovered that it was a question of morning or evening service, not of
the form of Presbyterianism. We think, on the whole, that, taking town and
country congregations together, millinery has not flourished under
Presbyterianism,—it seems to thrive better in the Romish atmosphere
of France; but the Disruption at least, has had nothing to answer for in
the matter, as it appears simply to have parted the bonnets of Scotland in
twain, as Moses divided the Red Sea, and left good and evil on both sides.
I can never forget our first military service at St. Giles’. We left
Breadalbane Terrace before nine in the morning and walked along the
beautiful curve of street that sweeps around the base of the Castle Rock,—walked
on through the poverty and squalor of the High Street, keeping in view the
beautiful lantern tower as a guiding-star, till we heard
‘The murmur of the city crowd;
And, from his steeple, jingling loud,
St. Giles’s mingling din.’
We joined the throng outside the venerable church, and awaited the
approach of the soldiers from the Castle parade-ground; for it is from
there they march in detachments to the church of their choice. A religion
they must have, and if, when called up and questioned about it, they have
forgotten to provide themselves, or have no preference as to form of
worship, they are assigned to one by the person in authority. When the
regiments are assembled on the parade-ground of a Sunday morning, the
first command is, ‘Church of Scotland, right about face, quick march!’—the
bodies of men belonging to other denominations standing fast until their
turn comes to move. It is said that a new officer once gave the command,
‘Church of Scotland, right about face, quick march! Fancy releegions, stay
where ye are!’
Just as we were being told this story by an attendant squire, there was a
burst of scarlet and a blare of music, and down Castlehill and the
Lawnmarket into Parliament Square marched hundreds of redcoats, the
Highland pipers (otherwise the Olympian gods) swinging in front, leaving
the American female heart prostrate beneath their victorious tread. The
strains of music that in the distance sounded so martial and triumphant we
recognised in a moment as ‘Abide with me,’ and never did the fine old tune
seem more majestic than when it marked a measure for the steady tramp,
tramp, tramp, of those soldierly feet. As ‘The March of the Cameron Men,’
piped from the green steeps of Castlehill, had aroused in us thoughts of
splendid victories on the battlefield, so did this simple hymn awake the
spirit of the church militant; a no less stern but more spiritual
soldiership, in which ‘the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them
that make peace.’
As I fell asleep on that first Sunday night in Edinburgh, after the
somewhat unusual experience of three church services in a single day,
three separate notes of memory floated in and out of the fabric of my
dreams; the sound of the soldiers’ feet marching into old St. Giles’ to
the strains of ‘Abide with me’; the voice of the Reverend Ronald ringing
out with manly insistence: ‘It is aspiration that counts, not realisation;
pursuit, not achievement; quest, not conquest!’—and the closing
phrases of the Friar’s prayer; ‘When Christ has forgiven us, help us to
forgive ourselves! Help us to forgive ourselves so fully that we can even
forget ourselves, remembering only Him! And so let His kingdom come; we
ask it for the King’s sake, Amen.’
Chapter X. Mrs. M’Collop as a sermon-taster.
Even at this time of Assemblies, when the atmosphere is almost exclusively
clerical and ecclesiastical, the two great church armies represented here
certainly conceal from the casual observer all rivalries and jealousies,
if indeed they cherish any. As for the two dissenting bodies, the Church
of the Disruption and the Church of the Secession have been keeping
company, so to speak, for some years, with a distant eye to an eventual
union. In the light of all this pleasant toleration, it seems difficult to
realise that earlier Edinburgh, where, we learned from old parochial
records of 1605, Margaret Sinclair was cited by the Session of the Kirk
for being at the ‘Burne’ for water on the Sabbath; that Janet Merling was
ordered to make public repentance for concealing a bairn unbaptized in her
house for the space of twenty weeks and calling said bairn Janet; that Pat
Richardson had to crave mercy for being found in his boat in time of
afternoon service; and that Janet Walker, accused of having visitors in
her house in sermon-time, had to confess her offence and on her knees
crave mercy of God AND the Kirk Session (which no doubt was much worse)
under penalty of a hundred pounds Scots. Possibly there are people yet who
would prefer to pay a hundred pounds rather than hear a sermon, but they
are few.
It was in the early seventeen hundred and thirties when Allan Ramsay, ‘in
fear and trembling of legal and clerical censure,’ lent out the plays of
Congreve and Farquhar from his famous High Street library. In 1756 it was,
that the Presbytery of Edinburgh suspended all clergymen who had witnessed
the representation of Douglas, that virtuous tragedy written, to the
dismay of all Scotland, by a minister of the Kirk. That the world, even
the theological world, moves with tolerable rapidity when once set in
motion, is evinced by the fact that on Mrs. Siddons’ second engagement in
Edinburgh, in the summer of 1785, vast crowds gathered about the doors of
the theatre, not at night alone, but in the day, to secure places. It
became necessary to admit them first at three in the afternoon and then at
noon, and eventually ‘the General Assembly of the Church then in session
was compelled to arrange its meetings with reference to the appearance of
the great actress.’ How one would have enjoyed hearing that Scotsman say,
after one of her most splendid flights of tragic passion, ‘That’s no bad!’
We have read of her dismay at this ludicrous parsimony of praise, but her
self-respect must have been restored when the Edinburgh ladies fainted by
dozens during her impersonation of Isabella in The Fatal Marriage.
Since Scottish hospitality is well-nigh inexhaustible, it is not strange
that from the moment Edinburgh streets began to be crowded with ministers,
our drawing-room table began to bear shoals of engraved invitations of
every conceivable sort, all equally unfamiliar to our American eyes.
‘The Purse-Bearer is commanded by the Lord High Commissioner and the
Marchioness of Heatherdale to invite Miss Hamilton to a Garden Party at
the Palace of Holyrood House, on the 27th of May. WEATHER PERMITTING.’
‘The General Assembly of the Free Church of Scotland admits Miss Hamilton
to any gallery on any day.’
‘The Marchioness of Heatherdale is At Home on the 26th of May from a
quarter-past nine in the evening. Palace of Holyrood House.’
‘The Moderator of the General Assembly of the Free Church of Scotland is
At Home in the Library of the New College on Saturday, the 22nd of May,
from eight to ten in the evening.’
‘The Moderator asks the pleasure of Miss Hamilton’s presence at a
Breakfast to be given on the morning of the 25th May at Dunedin Hotel.’
We determined to go to all these functions impartially, tracking thus the
Presbyterian lion to his very lair, and observing his home as well as his
company manners. In everything that related to the distinctively religious
side of the proceedings we sought advice from Mrs. M’Collop, while we went
to Lady Baird for definite information on secular matters. We also found
an unexpected ally in the person of our own ex-Moderator’s niece, Miss
Jean Dalziel (Deeyell). She has been educated in Paris, but she must
always have been a delightfully breezy person, quite too irrepressible to
be affected by Scottish haar or theology. “Go to the Assemblies, by all
means,” she said, “and be sure and get places for the heresy case. These
are no longer what they once were,—we are getting lamentably weak
and gelatinous in our beliefs,—but there is an unusually nice one
this year; the heretic is very young and handsome, and quite wicked, as
ministers go. Don’t fail to be presented at the Marchioness’s court at
Holyrood, for it is a capital preparation for the ordeal of Her Majesty
and Buckingham Palace. ‘Nothing fit to wear’? You have never seen the
people who go or you wouldn’t say that! I even advise you to attend one of
the breakfasts; it can’t do you any serious or permanent injury so long as
you eat something before you go. Oh no, it doesn’t matter,—whichever
one you choose, you will cheerfully omit the other; for I avow, as a
Scottish spinster, and the niece of an ex-Moderator, that to a stranger
and a foreigner the breakfasts are worse than Arctic explorations. If you
do not chance to be at the table of honour—”
“The gifted Miss Hamilton is always at the table of honour; unless she is
placed there she refuses to eat, and then the universe rocks to its
centre,” interpolated Francesca impertinently.
“It is true,” continued Miss Dalziel, “you will often sit beside a
minister or a minister’s wife, who will make you scorn the sordid
appetites of flesh, but if you do not, then eat as little as may be, and
flee up the Mound to whichever Assembly is the Mecca of your soul!”
“My niece’s tongue is an unruly member,” said the ex-Moderator, who was
present at this diatribe, “and the principal mistakes she makes in her
judgment of these clerical feasts is that she criticises them as
conventional repasts, whereas they are intended to be informal meetings
together of people who wish to be better acquainted.”
“Hot bacon and eggs would be no harm to friendship,” answered Miss
Dalziel, with an affectionate moue.
“Cold bacon and eggs is better than cold piety,” said the ex-Moderator,
“and it may be a good discipline for fastidious young ladies who have been
spoiled by Parisian breakfasts.”
It is to Mrs. M’Collop that we owe our chief insight into technical church
matters, although we seldom agree with her ‘opeenions’ after we gain our
own experience. She never misses hearing one sermon on a Sabbath, and
oftener she listens to two or three. Neither does she confine herself to
the ministrations of a single preacher, but roves from one sanctuary to
another, seeking the bread of life,—often, however, according to her
own account, getting a particularly indigestible ‘stane.’
She is thus a complete guide to the Edinburgh pulpit, and when she is
making a bed in the morning she dispenses criticism in so large and
impartial a manner that it would make the flesh of the ‘meenistry’ creep
were it overheard. I used to think Ian Maclaren’s sermon-taster a possible
exaggeration of an existent type, but I now see that she is truth itself.
“Ye’ll be tryin’ anither kirk the morn?” suggests Mrs. M’Collop, spreading
the clean Sunday sheet over the mattress. “Wha did ye hear the Sawbath
that’s bye? Dr. A? Ay, I ken him ower weel; he’s been there for fifteen
years an’ mair. Ay, he’s a gifted mon—AFF AN’ ON!” with an emphasis
showing clearly that, in her estimation, the times when he is ‘aff’
outnumber those when he is ‘on’... “Ye havena heard auld Dr. B yet?” (Here
she tucks in the upper sheet tidily at the foot.) “He’s a graund
strachtforrit mon, is Dr. B, forbye he’s growin’ maist awfu’ dreich in his
sermons, though when he’s that wearisome a body canna heed him wi’oot
takin’ peppermints to the kirk, he’s nane the less, at seeventy-sax, a
better mon than the new asseestant. Div ye ken the new asseestant? He’s a
wee-bit, finger-fed mannie, ower sma’ maist to wear a goon! I canna thole
him, wi’ his lang-nebbit words, explainin’ an’ expoundin’ the gude Book as
if it had jist come oot! The auld doctor’s nae kirk-filler, but he gies us
fu’ meesure, pressed doun an’ rinnin’ ower, nae bit-pickin’s like the
haverin’ asseestant; it’s my opeenion he’s no soond, wi’ his parleyvoos
an’ his clishmaclavers!... Mr. C?” (Now comes the shaking and
straightening and smoothing of the first blanket.) “Ay, he’s weel eneuch!
I mind aince he prayed for oor Free Assembly, an’ then he turned roon’ an’
prayed for the Estaiblished, maist in the same breath,—he’s a broad,
leeberal mon is Mr. C!... Mr. D? Ay, I ken him fine; he micht be waur,
though he’s ower fond o’ the kittle pairts o’ the Old Testament; but he
reads his sermon frae the paper, an’ it’s an auld sayin’, ‘If a meenister
canna mind [remember] his ain discoorse, nae mair can the congregation be
expectit to mind it.’... Mr. E? He’s my ain meenister.” (She has a pillow
in her mouth now, but though she is shaking it as a terrier would a rat,
and drawing on the linen slip at the same time, she is still intelligible
between the jerks). “Susanna says his sermon is like claith made o’ soond
‘oo [wool] wi’ a guid twined thread, an’ wairpit an’ weftit wi’ doctrine.
Susanna kens her Bible weel, but she’s never gaed forrit.” (To ‘gang
forrit’ is to take the communion). “Dr. F? I ca’ him the greetin’ doctor!
He’s aye dingin’ the dust oot o’ the poopit cushions, an’ greetin’ ower
the sins o’ the human race, an’ eespecially o’ his ain congregation. He’s
waur sin his last wife sickened an’ slippit awa’. ‘Twas a chastenin’ he’d
put up wi’ twice afore, but he grat nane the less. She was a bonnie bit
body, was the thurd Mistress F! E’nboro could ‘a’ better spared the
greetin’ doctor than her, I’m thinkin’.”
“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, according to His good will and
pleasure,” I ventured piously, as Mrs. M’Collop beat the bolster and laid
it in place.
“Ou ay,” responded that good woman, as she spread the counterpane over the
pillows in the way I particularly dislike,—“ou ay, but whiles I
think it’s a peety he couldna be guidit!”
Chapter XI. Holyrood awakens.
We were to make our bow to the Lord High Commissioner and the Marchioness
of Heatherdale in the evening, and we were in a state of republican
excitement at 22 Breadalbane Terrace.
Francesca had surprised us by refusing to be presented at this semi-royal
Scottish court. “Not I,” she said. “The Marchioness represents the Queen;
we may discover, when we arrive, that she has raised the standards of
admission, and requires us to ‘back out’ of the throne-room. I don’t
propose to do that without London training. Besides, I detest crowds, and
I never go to my own President’s receptions; and I have a headache,
anyway, and I don’t feel like coping with the Reverend Ronald to-night!”
(Lady Baird was to take us under her wing, and her nephew was to escort
us, Sir Robert being in Inveraray).
“Sally, my dear,” I said, as Francesca left the room with a bottle of
smelling-salts somewhat ostentatiously in evidence, “methinks the damsel
doth protest too much. In other words, she devotes a good deal of time and
discussion to a gentleman whom she heartily dislikes. As she is under your
care, I will direct your attention to the following points:—
“Ronald Macdonald is a Scotsman; Francesca disapproves of international
alliances.
“He is a Presbyterian; she is a Swedenborgian.
“His father was a famous old-school doctor; Francesca is a homoeopathist.
“He is serious; Francesca is gay.
“I think, under all the circumstances, their acquaintance will bear
watching. Two persons so utterly dissimilar, and, so far as superficial
observation goes, so entirely unsuited to each other, are quite likely to
drift into marriage unless diverted by watchful philanthropists.”
“Nonsense!” returned Salemina brusquely. “You think because you are under
the spell of the tender passion yourself that other people are in constant
danger. Francesca detests him.”
“Who told you so?”
“She herself,” triumphantly.
“Salemina,” I said pityingly, “I have always believed you a spinster from
choice; don’t lead me to think that you have never had any experience in
these matters! The Reverend Ronald has also intimated to me as plainly as
he dared that he cannot bear the sight of Francesca. What do I gather from
this statement? The general conclusion that if it be true, it is curious
that he looks at her incessantly.”
“Francesca would never live in Scotland,” remarked Salemina feebly.
“Not unless she were asked, of course,” I replied.
“He would never ask her.”
“Not unless he thought he had a chance of an affirmative answer.”
“Her father would never allow it.”
“Her father allows what she permits him to allow. You know that perfectly
well.”
“What shall I do about it, then?”
“Consult me.”
“What shall WE do about it?”
“Let Nature have her own way.”
“I don’t believe in Nature.”
“Don’t be profane, Salemina, and don’t be unromantic, which is worse; but
if you insist, trust in Providence.”
“I would rather trust Francesca’s hard heart.”
“The hardest hearts melt if sufficient heat be applied. Did I take you to
Newhaven and read you Christie Johnstone on the beach for nought? Don’t
you remember Charles Reade said that the Scotch are icebergs, with
volcanoes underneath; thaw the Scotch ice, which is very cold, and you
shall get to the Scotch fire, warmer than any sun of Italy or Spain. I
think Mr. Macdonald is a volcano.”
“I wish he were extinct,” said Salemina petulantly; “and I wish you
wouldn’t make me nervous.”
“If you had any faculty of premonition, you wouldn’t have waited for me to
make you nervous.”
“Some people are singularly omniscient.”
“Others are singularly deficient—” And at this moment Susanna Crum
came in to announce Miss Jean Dalziel, who had come to see sights with us.
It was our almost daily practice to walk through the Old Town, and we were
now familiar with every street and close in that densely-crowded quarter.
Our quest for the sites of ancient landmarks never grew monotonous, and we
were always reconstructing, in imagination, the Cowgate, the Canongate,
the Lawnmarket, and the High Street, until we could see Auld Reekie as it
was in bygone centuries. In those days of continual war with England,
people crowded their dwellings as near the Castle as possible, so floor
was piled upon floor, and flat upon flat, families ensconcing themselves
above other families, the tendency being ever skyward. Those who dwelt on
top had no desire to spend their strength in carrying down the corkscrew
stairs matter which would descend by the force of gravity if pitched from
the window or door; so the wayfarer, especially after dusk, would be
greeted with cries of ‘Get oot o’ the gait!’ or ‘Gardy loo!’ which was in
the French ‘Gardez l’eau,’ and which would have been understood in any
language, I fancy, after a little experience. The streets then were filled
with the debris flung from a hundred upper windows, while certain
ground-floor tenants, such as butchers and candlemakers, contributed their
full share to the fragrant heaps. As for these too seldom used narrow
turnpike stairs, imagine the dames of fashion tilting their vast hoops and
silken show-petticoats up and down in them!
That swine roamed at will in these Elysian fields is to be presumed, since
we have this amusing picture of three High Street belles and beauties in
the Traditions of Edinburgh:—
‘So easy were the manners of the great, fabled to be so stiff and
decorous,’ says the author, ‘that Lady Maxwell’s daughter Jane, who
afterward became the Duchess of Gordon, was seen riding a sow up the High
Street, while her sister Eglantine (afterwards Lady Wallace of Craigie)
thumped lustily behind with a stick.’
No wonder, in view of all this, that King James VI., when about to bring
home his ‘darrest spous,’ Anne of Denmark, wrote to the Provost, ‘For
God’s sake see a’ things are richt at our hame-coming; a king with a
new-married wife doesna come hame ilka day.’
Had it not been for these royal home-comings and visits of distinguished
foreigners, now and again aided by something still more salutary, an
occasional outbreak of the plague, the easy-going authorities would never
have issued any ‘cleaning edicts,’ and the still easier-going inhabitants
would never have obeyed them. It was these dark, tortuous wynds and
closes, nevertheless, that made up the Court End of Old Edinbro’; for some
one writes in 1530, ‘Via vaccarum in qua habitant patricii et senatores
urbis’ (The nobility and chief senators of the city dwell in the Cowgate).
And as for the Canongate, this Saxon gaet or way of the Holy rood canons,
it still sheltered in 1753 ‘two dukes, sixteen earls, two dowager
countesses, seven lords, seven lords of session, thirteen baronets, four
commanders of the forces in Scotland, and five eminent men,’—fine
game indeed for Mally Lee!
‘A’ doun alang the Canongate
Were beaux o’ ilk degree;
And mony ane turned round to look
At bonny Mally Lee.
And we’re a’ gaun east an’ west,
We’re a’ gaun agee,
We’re a’ gaun east an’ west
Courtin’ Mally Lee!’
Every corner bristles with memories. Here is the Stamp Office Close, from
which the lovely Susanna, Countess of Eglinton, was wont to issue on
assembly nights; she, six feet in height, with a brilliantly fair
complexion, and a ‘face of the maist bewitching loveliness.’ Her seven
daughters and stepdaughters were all conspicuously handsome, and it was
deemed a goodly sight to watch the long procession of eight gilded
sedan-chairs pass from the Stamp Office Close, bearing her and her stately
brood to the Assembly Room, amid a crowd that was ‘hushed with respect and
admiration to behold their lofty and graceful figures step from the chairs
on the pavement.’
Here itself is the site of those old assemblies, presided over at one time
by the famous Miss Nicky Murray, a directress of society affairs, who
seems to have been a feminine premonition of Count d’Orsay and our own
M’Allister. Rather dull they must have been, those old Scotch balls, where
Goldsmith saw the ladies and gentlemen in two dismal groups divided by the
length of the room.
‘The Assembly Close received the fair—
Order and elegance presided there—
Each gay Right Honourable had her place,
To walk a minuet with becoming grace.
No racing to the dance with rival hurry,
Such was thy sway, O famed Miss Nicky Murray!’
It was half-past nine in the evening when Salemina and I drove to
Holyrood, our humble cab-horse jogging faithfully behind Lady Baird’s
brougham, and it was the new experience of seeing Auld Reekie by lamplight
that called up these gay visions of other days,—visions and days so
thoroughly our mental property that we could not help resenting the fact
that women were hanging washing from the Countess of Eglinton’s former
windows, and popping their unkempt heads out of the Duchess of Gordon’s
old doorway.
The Reverend Ronald is so kind! He enters so fully into our spirit of
inquiry, and takes such pleasure in our enthusiasms! He even sprang
lightly out of Lady Baird’s carriage and called to our ‘lamiter’ to halt
while he showed us the site of the Black Turnpike, from whose windows
Queen Mary saw the last of her kingdom’s capital.
“Here was the Black Turnpike, Miss Hamilton!” he cried; “and from here
Mary went to Loch Leven, where you Hamiltons and the Setons came gallantly
to her help. Don’t you remember the ‘far ride to the Solway sands?’”
I looked with interest, though I was in such a state of delicious
excitement that I could scarce keep my seat.
“Only a few minutes more, Salemina,” I sighed, “and we shall be in the
palace courtyard; then a probable half-hour in crowded dressing-rooms,
with another half-hour in line, and then, then we shall be making our best
republican bow in the Gallery of the Kings! How I wish Mr. Beresford and
Francesca were with us! What do you suppose was her real reason for
staying away? Some petty disagreement with our young minister, I am sure.
Do you think the dampness is taking the curl out of our hair? Do you
suppose our gowns will be torn to ribbons before the Marchioness sees
them? Do you believe we shall look as well as anybody? Privately, I think
we must look better than anybody; but I always think that on my way to a
party, never after I arrive.”
Mrs. M’Collop had asserted that I was ‘bonnie eneuch for ony court,’ and I
could not help wishing that ‘mine ain dear Somebody’ might see me in my
French frock embroidered with silver thistles, and my ‘shower bouquet’ of
Scottish bluebells tied loosely together. Salemina wore pinky-purple
velvet; a real heather colour it was, though the Lord High Commissioner
would probably never note the fact.
When we had presented our cards of invitation at the palace doors, we
joined the throng and patiently made our way up the splendid staircases,
past powdered lackeys without number, and, divested of our wraps, joined
another throng on our way to the throne-room, Salemina and I pressing
those cards with our names ‘legibly written on them’ close to our
palpitating breasts.
At last the moment came when, Lady Baird having preceded me, I handed my
bit of pasteboard to the usher; and hearing ‘Miss Hamilton’ called in
stentorian accents, I went forward in my turn, and executed a graceful and
elegant, but not too profound curtsy, carefully arranged to suit the
semi-royal, semi-ecclesiastical occasion. I had not divulged that fact
even to Salemina, but I had worn Mrs. M’Collop’s carpet quite threadbare
in front of the long mirror, and had curtsied to myself so many times in
its crystal surface that I had developed a sort of fictitious reverence
for my reflected image. I had only begun my well-practised obeisance when
Her Grace the Marchioness, to my mingled surprise and embarrassment,
extended a gracious hand and murmured my name in a particularly kind
voice. She is fond of Lady Baird, and perhaps chose this method of showing
her friendship; or it may be that she noticed my silver thistles and
Salemina’s heather-coloured velvet,—they certainly deserved special
recognition; or it may be that I was too beautiful to pass over in
silence,—in my state of exaltation I was quite equal to the belief.
The presentation over, we wandered through the spacious apartments,
leaning from the open windows to hear the music of the band playing in the
courtyard below, looking at the royal portraits, and chatting with groups
of friends who appeared and reappeared in the throng. Finally Lady Baird
sent for us to join her in a knot of personages more or less
distinguished, who had dined at the palace, and who were standing behind
the receiving party in a sort of sacred group. This indeed was a ground of
vantage, and one could have stood there for hours, watching all sorts and
conditions of men and women bowing before the Lord High Commissioner and
the Marchioness, who, with her Cleopatra-like beauty and scarlet gown,
looked like a gorgeous cardinal-flower.
Salemina and I watched the curtsying narrowly, with the view at first of
improving our own obeisances for Buckingham Palace; but truth to say we
got no added light, and plainly most of the people had not worn threadbare
the carpets in front of their dressing-mirrors.
Suddenly we heard a familiar name announced, ‘Lord Colquhoun,’ a
distinguished judge who had lately been raised to the peerage, and whom we
often met at dinners; then ‘Miss Rowena Colquhoun’; and then in the midst,
we fancied, of an unusual stir at the entrance door—‘Miss Francesca
Van Buren Monroe.’ I involuntarily touched the Reverend Ronald’s shoulder
in my astonishment, while Salemina lifted her tortoise-shell lorgnette,
and we gazed silently at our recreant charge.
After presentation, each person has fifteen or twenty feet of awful space
to traverse in solitary and defenceless majesty; scanned meanwhile by the
maids of honour (who if they were truly honourable, would turn their eyes
another way), ladies-in-waiting, the sacred group in the rear, and the
Purse-Bearer himself. I had supposed that this functionary would keep the
purse in his upper bureau drawer at home, when he was not paying bills,
but it seems that when on processional duty he carries a bag of red velvet
quite a yard long over his arm, where it looks not unlike a lady’s
opera-cloak. It would hold the sum-total of all moneys disbursed, even if
they were reduced to the standard of vulgar copper.
Under this appalling fire of inspection, some of the victims waddle, some
hurry; some look up and down nervously, others glance over the shoulder as
if dreading to be apprehended; some turn red, others pale, according to
complexion and temperament; some swing their arms, other trip on their
gowns; some twitch the buttons of a glove, or tweak a flower or a jewel.
Francesca rose superior to all these weaknesses, and I doubt if the
Gallery of the Kings ever served as a background for anything lovelier or
more high-bred than that untitled slip of a girl from ‘the States.’ Her
trailing gown of pearl-white satin fell in unbroken lustrous folds behind
her. Her beautiful throat and shoulders rose in statuesque whiteness from
the mist of chiffon that encircled them. Her dark hair showed a moonbeam
parting that rested the eye, wearied by the contemplation of waves and
frizzes fresh from the curling-tongs. Her mother’s pearls hung in ropes
from neck to waist, and the one spot of colour about her was the single
American Beauty rose she carried. There is a patriotic florist in Paris
who grows these long-stemmed empresses of the rose-garden, and Mr.
Beresford sends some to me every week. Francesca had taken the flower
without permission, and I must say she was as worthy of it as it of her.
She curtsied deeply, with no exaggerated ceremony, but with a sort of
innocent and childlike gravity, while the satin of her gown spread itself
like a great blossom over the floor. Her head was bowed until the dark
lashes swept her crimson cheeks; then she rose again from the heart of the
shimmering lily, with the one splendid rose glowing against all her
dazzling whiteness, and floated slowly across the dreaded space to the
door of exit as if she were preceded by invisible heralds and followed by
invisible train-bearers.
“Who is she?” we heard whispered here and there. “Look at the rose!” “Look
at the pearls! Is she a princess or only an American?”
I glanced at the Reverend Ronald. I imagined he looked pale; at any rate
he was biting his under lip nervously, and I believe he was in fancy
laying his serious, Scottish, allopathic, Presbyterian heart at
Francesca’s gay, American, homoeopathic, Swedenborgian feet.
“It is a pity Miss Monroe is such an ardent republican,” he said, with
unconcealed bitterness; “otherwise she ought to be a duchess. I never saw
a head that better suited a coronet, nor, if you will pardon me, one that
contained more caprices.”
“It is true she flatly refused to accompany us here,” I allowed, “but
perhaps she has some explanation more or less silly and serviceable;
meantime, I defy you to tell me she isn’t a beauty, and I implore you to
say nothing about its being only skin-deep. Give me a beautiful exterior,
say I, and I will spend my life in making the hidden things of mind and
soul conform to it; but deliver me from all forlorn attempts to make my
beauty of character speak through a large mouth, breathe through a fat
nose, and look at my neighbour through crossed eyes!”
Mr. Macdonald agreed with me, with some few ministerial reservations. He
always agrees with me, and why he is not tortured at the thought of my
being the promised bride of another, but continues to squander his
affections upon a quarrelsome and unappreciative girl is more than I can
comprehend.
Francesca, escorted by Lord Colquhoun, appeared presently in our group,
but Salemina did not even attempt to scold her. One cannot scold an
imperious young beauty in white satin and pearls, particularly if she is
leaning nonchalantly on the arm of a peer of the realm.
It seems that shortly after our departure (we had dined with Lady Baird),
Lord Colquhoun had sent a note to me, requiring an answer. Francesca had
opened it, and found that he offered an extra card of invitation to one of
us, and said that he and his sister would gladly serve as escort to
Holyrood, if desired. She had had an hour or two of solitude by this time,
and was well weary of it, while the last vestige of headache disappeared
under the temptation of appearing at court with all the eclat of
unexpectedness. She despatched a note of acceptance to Lord Colquhoun,
summoned Mrs. M’Collop, Susanna, and the maiden Boots to her assistance,
spread the trays of her Saratoga trunks about our three bedrooms, grouped
all our candles on her dressing-table, and borrowed any trinket or bit of
frippery which we chanced to have left behind. Her own store of adornments
is much greater than ours, but we possess certain articles for which she
has a childlike admiration: my white satin slippers embroidered with seed
pearls, Salemina’s pearl-topped comb, Salemina’s Valenciennes handkerchief
and diamond belt-clasp, my pearl frog with ruby eyes. We identified our
property on her impertinent young person, and the list of her borrowings
so amused the Reverend Ronald that he forgot his injuries.
“It is really an ordeal, that presentation, no matter how strong one’s
sense of humour may be, nor how well rooted one’s democracy,” chattered
Francesca to a serried rank of officers who surrounded her to the total
routing of the ministry. “It is especially trying if one has come
unexpectedly and has no idea of what is to happen. I was agitated at the
supreme moment, because, at the entrance of the throne-room, I had just
shaken hands reverently with a splendid person who proved to be a footman.
Of course I took him for the Commander of the Queen’s Guards, or the
Keeper of the Dungeon Keys, or the Most Noble Custodian of the Royal
Moats, Drawbridges, and Portcullises. When he put out his hand I had no
idea it was simply to waft me onward, and so naturally I shook it,—it’s
a mercy that I didn’t kiss it! Then I curtsied to the Royal Usher, and
overlooked the Lord High Commissioner altogether, having no eyes for any
one but the beautiful scarlet Marchioness. I only hope they were too busy
to notice my mistakes, otherwise I shall be banished from Court at the
very moment of my presentation.—Do you still banish nowadays?”
turning the battery of her eyes upon a particularly insignificant officer
who was far too dazed to answer. “And did you see the child of ten who was
next to me in line? She is Mrs. Macstronachlacher; at least that was the
name on the card she carried, and she was thus announced. As they tell us
the Purse-Bearer is most rigorous in arranging these functions and issuing
the invitations, I presume she must be Mrs. Macstronachlacher; but if so,
they marry very young in Scotland, and her skirts should really have been
longer!”
Chapter XII. Farewell to Edinburgh.
It is our last day in ‘Scotia’s darling seat,’ our last day in Breadalbane
Terrace, our last day with Mrs. M’Collop; and though every one says that
we shall love the life in the country, we are loath to leave Auld Reekie.
Salemina and I have spent two days in search of an abiding-place, and have
visited eight well-recommended villages with that end in view; but she
disliked four of them, and I couldn’t endure the other four, though I
considered some of those that fell under her disapproval as quite
delightful in every respect.
We never take Francesca on these pilgrimages of disagreement, as three
conflicting opinions on the same subject would make insupportable what is
otherwise rather exhilarating. She starts from Edinburgh to-morrow for a
brief visit to the Highlands with the Dalziels, and will join us when we
have settled ourselves.
Mr. Beresford leaves Paris as soon after our decision as he is permitted,
so Salemina and I have agreed to agree upon one ideal spot within
thirty-six hours of our quitting Edinburgh, knowing privately that after a
last battle-royal we shall enthusiastically support the joint decision for
the rest of our lives.
We have been bidding good-bye to people and places and things, and wishing
the sun would not shine and thus make our task the harder. We have looked
our last on the old grey town from Calton Hill, of all places the best,
perhaps, for a view; since, as Stevenson says, from Calton Hill you can
see the Castle, which you lose from the Castle, and Arthur’s Seat, which
you cannot see from Arthur’s Seat. We have taken a farewell walk to the
Dean Bridge, to gaze wistfully eastward and marvel for the hundredth time
to find so beautiful a spot in the heart of a city. The soft-flowing Water
of Leith winding over pebbles between grassy banks and groups of splendid
trees, the roof of the little temple to Hygeia rising picturesquely among
green branches, the slopes of emerald velvet leading up to the grey stone
of the houses,—where, in all the world of cities, can one find a
view to equal it in peaceful loveliness? Francesca’s ‘bridge-man,’ who, by
the way, proved to be a distinguished young professor of medicine in the
University, says that the beautiful cities of the world should be ranked
thus,—Constantinople, Prague, Genoa, Edinburgh; but having seen only
one of these, and that the last, I refuse to credit any sliding scale of
comparison which leaves Edina at the foot.
It was nearing tea-time, an hour when we never fail to have visitors, and
we were all in the drawing-room together. I was at the piano, singing
Jacobite melodies for Salemina’s delectation. When I came to the last
verse of Lady Nairne’s ‘Hundred Pipers,’ the spirited words had taken my
fancy captive, and I am sure I could not have sung with more vigour and
passion had my people been ‘out with the Chevalier.’
‘The Esk was swollen sae red an’ sae deep,
But shouther to shouther the brave lads keep;
Twa thousand swam owre to fell English ground,
An’ danced themselves dry to the pibroch’s sound.
Dumfounder’d the English saw, they saw,
Dumfounder’d they heard the blaw, the blaw,
Dumfounder’d they a’ ran awa’, awa’,
Frae the hundred pipers an’ a’, an’ a’!’
By the time I came to ‘Dumfounder’d the English saw,’ Francesca left her
book and joined in the next four lines, and when we broke into the chorus
Salemina rushed to the piano, and although she cannot sing, she lifted her
voice both high and loud in the refrain, beating time the while with a
dirk paper-knife.
‘Wi’ a hundred pipers an’ a’, an’ a’,
Wi’ a hundred pipers an’ a’, an’ a’,
We’ll up an’ gie them a blaw, a blaw,
Wi’ a hundred pipers an’ a’, an’ a’!’
Susanna ushered in Mr. Macdonald and Dr. Moncrieffe as the last ‘blaw’
faded into silence, and Jean Dalziel came upstairs to say that they could
seldom get a quiet moment for family prayers, because we were always at
the piano, hurling incendiary sentiments into the air,—sentiments
set to such stirring melodies that no one could resist them.
“We are very sorry, Miss Dalziel,” I said penitently. “We reserve an hour
in the morning and another at bedtime for your uncle’s prayers, but we had
no idea you had them at afternoon tea, even in Scotland. I believe that
you are chaffing, and came up only to swell the chorus. Come, let us all
sing together from ‘Dumfounder’d the English saw.’”
Mr. Macdonald and Dr. Moncrieffe gave such splendid body to the music, and
Jean such warlike energy, that Salemina waved her paper-knife in a manner
more than ever sanguinary, and Susanna, hesitating outside the door for
sheer delight, had to be coaxed in with the tea-things. On the heels of
the tea-things came the Dominie, another dear old friend of six weeks’
standing; and while the doctor sang ‘Jock o’ Hazeldean’ with such
irresistible charm that we all longed to elope with somebody on the
instant, Salemina dispensed buttered toast, marmalade sandwiches, and the
fragrant cup. By this time we were thoroughly cosy, and Mr. Macdonald made
himself and us very much at home by stirring the fire; whereupon Francesca
embarrassed him by begging him not to touch it unless he could do it
properly, which, she added, seemed quite unlikely, from the way in which
he handled the poker.
“What will Edinburgh do without you?” he asked, turning towards us with
flattering sadness in his tone. “Who will hear our Scotch stories, never
suspecting their hoary old age? Who will ask us questions to which we
somehow always know the answers? Who will make us study and reverence anew
our own landmarks? Who will keep warm our national and local pride by
judicious enthusiasm?”
“I think the national and local pride may be counted on to exist without
any artificial stimulants,” dryly observed Francesca, whose spirit is not
in the least quenched by approaching departure.
“Perhaps,” answered the Reverend Ronald; “but at any rate, you, Miss
Monroe, will always be able to reflect that you have never been
responsible even for its momentary inflation!”
“Isn’t it strange that she cannot get on better with that charming
fellow?” murmured Salemina, as she passed me the sugar for my second cup.
“If your present symptoms of blindness continue, Salemina,” I said,
searching for a small lump so as to gain time, “I shall write you a
plaintive ballad, buy you a dog, and stand you on a street corner! If you
had ever permitted yourself to ‘get on’ with any man as Francesca is
getting on with Mr. Macdonald, you would now be Mrs.—Somebody.”
“Do you know, doctor,” asked the Dominie, “that Miss Hamilton shed real
tears at Holyrood the other night, when the band played ‘Bonnie Charlie’s
noo awa’?’”
“They were real,” I confessed, “in the sense that they certainly were not
crocodile tears; but I am somewhat at a loss to explain them from a
sensible, American standpoint. Of course my Jacobitism is purely
impersonal, though scarcely more so than yours, at this late day; at least
it is merely a poetic sentiment, for which Caroline, Baroness Nairne, is
mainly responsible. My romantic tears came from a vision of the Bonnie
Prince as he entered Holyrood, dressed in his short tartan coat, his
scarlet breeches and military boots, the star of St. Andrew on his breast,
a blue ribbon over his shoulder, and the famous blue velvet bonnet and
white cockade. He must have looked so brave and handsome and hopeful at
that moment, and the moment was so sadly brief, that when the band played
the plaintive air I kept hearing the words—
‘Mony a heart will break in twa,
Should he no come back again.’
He did come back again to me that evening, and held a phantom levee behind
the Marchioness of Heatherdale’s shoulder. His ‘ghaist’ looked bonnie and
rosy and confident, yet all the time the band was playing the requiem for
his lost cause and buried hopes.”
I looked towards the fire to hide the moisture that crept again into my
eyes, and my glance fell upon Francesca sitting dreamily on a hassock in
front of the cheerful blaze, her chin in the hollow of her palm, and the
Reverend Ronald standing on the hearth-rug gazing at her, the poker in his
hand, and his heart, I regret to say, in such an exposed position on his
sleeve that even Salemina could have seen it had she turned her eyes that
way.
Jean Dalziel broke the momentary silence: “I am sure I never hear the last
two lines—
‘Better lo’ed ye canna be,
Will ye no’ come back again?’
without a lump in my throat,” and she hummed the lovely melody. “It is all
as you say, purely impersonal and poetic. My mother is an Englishwoman,
but she sings ‘Dumfounder’d the English saw, they saw’ with the greatest
fire and fury.”
Chapter XIII. The spell of Scotland.
“I think I was never so completely under the spell of a country as I am of
Scotland.” I made this acknowledgment freely, but I knew that it would
provoke comment from my compatriots.
“Oh yes, my dear, you have been just as spellbound before, only you don’t
remember it,” replied Salemina promptly. “I have never seen a person more
perilously appreciative or receptive than you.”
“‘Perilously’ is just the word,” chimed in Francesca delightedly; “when
you care for a place you grow porous, as it were, until after a time you
are precisely like blotting-paper. Now, there was Italy, for example.
After eight weeks in Venice, you were completely Venetian, from your fan
to the ridiculous little crepe shawl you wore because an Italian prince
had told you that centuries were usually needed to teach a woman how to
wear a shawl, but that you had been born with the art, and the shoulders!
Anything but a watery street was repulsive to you. Cobblestones?
‘Ordinario, duro, brutto! A gondola? Ah, bellissima! Let me float for ever
thus!’ You bathed your spirit in sunshine and colour; I can hear you
murmur now, ‘O Venezia benedetta! non ti voglio lasciar!’”
“It was just the same when she spent a month in France with the Baroness
de Hautenoblesse,” continued Salemina. “When she returned to America, it
is no flattery to say that in dress, attitude, inflection, manner, she was
a thorough Parisienne. There was an elegant superficiality and a
superficial elegance about her that I can never forget, nor yet her
extraordinary volubility in a foreign language,—the fluency with
which she expressed her inmost soul on all topics without the aid of a
single irregular verb, for these she was never able to acquire; oh, it was
wonderful, but there was no affectation about it; she had simply been a
kind of blotting-paper, as Miss Monroe says, and France had written itself
all over her.”
“I don’t wish to interfere with anybody’s diagnosis,” I interposed at the
first possible moment, “but perhaps after you’ve both finished your
psychologic investigation the subject may be allowed to explain herself
from the inside, so to speak. I won’t deny the spell of Italy, but I think
the spell that Scotland casts over one is quite a different thing, more
spiritual, more difficult to break. Italy’s charm has something physical
in it; it is born of blue sky, sunlit waves, soft atmosphere, orange
sails, and yellow moons, and appeals more to the senses. In Scotland the
climate certainly has nought to do with it, but the imagination is somehow
made captive. I am not enthralled by the past of Italy or France, for
instance.”
“Of course you are not at the present moment,” said Francesca, “because
you are enthralled by the past of Scotland, and even you cannot be the
slave of two pasts at the same time.”
“I never was particularly enthralled by Italy’s past,” I argued with
exemplary patience, “but the romance of Scotland has a flavour all its
own. I do not quite know the secret of it.”
“It’s the kilts and the pipes,” said Francesca.
“No, the history.” (This from Salemina.)
“Or Sir Walter and the literature,” suggested Mr. Macdonald.
“Or the songs and ballads,” ventured Jean Dalziel.
“There!” I exclaimed triumphantly, “you see for yourselves you have named
avenue after avenue along which one’s mind is led in charmed subjection.
Where can you find battles that kindle your fancy like Falkirk and Flodden
and Culloden and Bannockburn? Where a sovereign that attracts, baffles,
repels, allures, like Mary Queen of Scots,—and where, tell me where,
is there a Pretender like Bonnie Prince Charlie? Think of the spirit in
those old Scottish matrons who could sing—
‘I’ll sell my rock, I’ll sell my reel,
My rippling-kame and spinning-wheel,
To buy my lad a tartan plaid,
A braidsword, durk and white cockade.’”
“Yes,” chimed in Salemina when I had finished quoting, “or that other
verse that goes—
‘I ance had sons, I now hae nane,
I bare them toiling sairlie;
But I would bear them a’ again
To lose them a’ for Charlie!’
Isn’t the enthusiasm almost beyond belief at this distance of time?” she
went on; “and isn’t it a curious fact, as Mr. Macdonald told me a moment
ago, that though the whole country was vocal with songs for the lost cause
and the fallen race, not one in favour of the victors ever became
popular?”
“Sympathy for the under dog, as Miss Monroe’s countrywomen would say
picturesquely,” remarked Mr. Macdonald.
“I don’t see why all the vulgarisms in the dictionary should be foisted on
the American girl,” retorted Francesca loftily, “unless, indeed, it is a
determined attempt to find spots upon the sun for fear we shall worship
it!”
“Quite so, quite so!” returned the Reverend Ronald, who has had reason to
know that this phrase reduces Miss Monroe to voiceless rage.
“The Stuart charm and personal magnetism must have been a powerful factor
in all that movement,” said Salemina, plunging hastily back into the topic
to avert any further recrimination. “I suppose we feel it even now, and if
I had been alive in 1745 I should probably have made myself ridiculous.
‘Old maiden ladies,’ I read this morning, ‘were the last leal Jacobites in
Edinburgh; spinsterhood in its loneliness remained ever true to Prince
Charlie and the vanished dreams of youth.’”
“Yes,” continued the Dominie, “the story is told of the last of those
Jacobite ladies who never failed to close her Prayer-Book and stand erect
in silent protest when the prayer for ‘King George III. and the reigning
family’ was read by the congregation.”
“Do you remember the prayer of the Reverend Neil M’Vicar in St.
Cuthbert’s?” asked Mr. Macdonald. “It was in 1745, after the victory at
Prestonpans, when a message was sent to the Edinburgh ministers, in the
name of ‘Charles, Prince Regent’ desiring them to open their churches next
day as usual. M’Vicar preached to a large congregation, many of whom were
armed Highlanders, and prayed for George II., and also for Charles Edward,
in the following fashion: ‘Bless the king! Thou knowest what king I mean.
May the crown sit long upon his head! As for that young man who has come
among us to seek an earthly crown, we beseech Thee to take him to Thyself,
and give him a crown of glory!’”
“Ah, what a pity the Bonnie Prince had not died after his meteor victory
at Falkirk!” exclaimed Jean Dalziel, when we had finished laughing at Mr.
Macdonald’s story.
“Or at Culloden, ‘where, quenched in blood on the Muir of Drummossie, the
star of the Stuarts sank forever,’” quoted the Dominie. “There is where
his better self died; would that the young Chevalier had died with it! By
the way, doctor, we must not sit here eating goodies and sipping tea until
the dinner-hour, for these ladies have doubtless much to do for their
flitting” (a pretty Scots word for ‘moving’).
“We are quite ready for our flitting so far as packing is concerned,”
Salemina assured him. “Would that we were as ready in spirit! Miss
Hamilton has even written her farewell poem, which I am sure she will read
for the asking.”
“She will read it without that formality,” murmured Francesca. “She has
lived and toiled only for this moment, and the poem is in her pocket.”
“Delightful!” said the doctor flatteringly. “Has she favoured you already?
Have you heard it, Miss Monroe?”
“Have we heard it!” ejaculated that young person. “We have heard nothing
else all the morning! What you will take for local colour is nothing but
our mental life-blood, which she has mercilessly drawn to stain her
verses. We each tried to write a Scottish poem, and as Miss Hamilton’s was
better, or perhaps I might say less bad, than ours, we encouraged her to
develop and finish it. I wanted to do an imitation of Lindsay’s
‘Adieu, Edinburgh! thou heich triumphant town,
Within whose bounds richt blithefull have I been!
but it proved too difficult. Miss Hamilton’s general idea was that we
should write some verses in good plain English. Then we were to take out
all the final g’s, and indeed the final letters from all the words
wherever it was possible, so that full, awful, call, ball, hall, and away
should be fu’, awfu’, ca’, ba’, ha’, an’ awa’. This alone gives great
charm and character to a poem; but we were also to change all words ending
in ow into aw. This doesn’t injure the verse, you see, as blaw and snaw
rhyme just as well as blow and snow, beside bringing tears to the common
eye with their poetic associations. Similarly, if we had daughter and
slaughter, we were to write them dochter and slauchter, substituting in
all cases doon, froon, goon, and toon, for down, frown gown, and town.
Then we made a list of Scottish idols,—pet words, national
institutions, stock phrases, beloved objects,—convinced if we could
weave them in we should attain ‘atmosphere.’ Here is the first list; it
lengthened speedily: thistle, tartan, haar, haggis, kirk, claymore,
parritch, broom, whin, sporran, whaup, plaid, scone, collops, whisky,
mutch, cairngorm, oatmeal, brae, kilt, brose, heather. Salemina and I were
too devoted to common-sense to succeed in this weaving process, so
Penelope triumphed and won the first prize, both for that and also because
she brought in a saying given us by Miss Dalziel, about the social
classification of all Scotland into ‘the gentlemen of the North, men of
the South, people of the West, fowk o’ Fife, and the Paisley bodies.’ We
think that her success came chiefly from her writing the verses with a
Scotch plaid lead-pencil. What effect the absorption of so much red, blue,
and green paint will have I cannot fancy, but she ate off—and up—all
the tartan glaze before finishing the poem; it had a wonderfully
stimulating effect, but the end is not yet!”
Of course there was a chorus of laughter when the young wretch exhibited
my battered pencil, bought in Princes Street yesterday, its gay Gordon
tints sadly disfigured by the destroying tooth, not of Time, but of a bard
in the throes of composition.
“We bestowed a consolation prize on Salemina,” continued Francesca,
“because she succeeded in getting hoots, losh, havers, and blethers into
one line, but naturally she could not maintain such an ideal standard.
Read your verses, Pen, though there is little hope that our friends will
enjoy them as much as you do. Whenever Miss Hamilton writes anything of
this kind, she emulates her distinguished ancestor Sir William Hamilton,
who always fell off his own chair in fits of laughter when he was
composing verses.”
With this inspiring introduction I read my lines as follows:—
AN AMERICAN GIRL’S FAREWELL TO EDINBURGH
The muse being somewhat under the influence of the Scottish ballad
I canna thole my ain toun,
Sin’ I hae dwelt i’ this;
To bide in Edinboro’ reek
Wad be the tap o’ bliss.
Yon bonnie plaid aboot me hap,
The skirlin’ pipes gae bring,
With thistles fair tie up my hair,
While I of Scotia sing.
The collops an’ the cairngorms,
The haggis an’ the whin,
The ‘Staiblished, Free, an’ U.P. kirks,
The hairt convinced o’ sin,—
The parritch an’ the heather-bell,
The snawdrap on the shaw,
The bit lam’s bleatin’ on the braes,—
How can I leave them a’?
How can I leave the marmalade
An’ bonnets o’ Dundee?
The haar, the haddies, an’ the brose,
The East win’ blawin’ free?
How can I lay my sporran by,
An’ sit me doun at hame,
Wi’oot a Hieland philabeg
Or hyphenated name?
I lo’e the gentry o’ the North,
The Southern men I lo’e,
The canty people o’ the West,
The Paisley bodies too.
The pawky folk o’ Fife are dear,—
Sae dear are ane an’ a’,
That e’en to think that we maun pairt
Maist braks my hairt in twa.
So fetch me tartans, heather, scones,
An’ dye my tresses red;
I’d deck me like th’ unconquer’d Scots,
Wha hae wi’ Wallace bled.
Then bind my claymore to my side,
My kilt an’ mutch gae bring;
While Scottish lays soun’ i’ my lugs
M’Kinley’s no my king,—
For Charlie, bonnie Stuart Prince,
Has turned me Jacobite;
I’d wear displayed the white cockade.
An’ (whiles) for him I’ll fight!
An’ (whiles) I’d fight for a’ that’s Scotch,
Save whusky an’ oatmeal,
For wi’ their ballads i’ my bluid,
Nae Scot could be mair leal!
I fancied that I had pitched my verses in so high a key that no one could
mistake their burlesque intention. What was my confusion, however, to have
one of the company remark when I finished, ‘Extremely pretty; but a mutch,
you know, is an article of WOMAN’S apparel, and would never be worn with a
kilt!’
Mr. Macdonald flung himself gallantly into the breach. He is such a dear
fellow! So quick, so discriminating, so warm-hearted!
“Don’t pick flaws in Miss Hamilton’s finest line! That picture of a fair
American, clad in a kilt and mutch, decked in heather and scones, and
brandishing a claymore, will live for ever in my memory. Don’t clip the
wings of her imagination! You will be telling her soon that one doesn’t
tie one’s hair with thistles, nor couple collops with cairngorms.”
Somebody sent Francesca a great bunch of yellow broom, late that
afternoon. There was no name in the box, she said, but at night she wore
the odorous tips in the bosom of her black dinner-gown, and standing erect
in her dark hair like golden aigrettes.
When she came into my room to say good night, she laid the pretty frock in
one of my trunks, which was to be filled with garments of fashionable
society and left behind in Edinburgh. The next moment I chanced to look on
the floor, and discovered a little card, a bent card with two lines
written on it:—
‘Better lo’ed ye canna be,
Will ye no’ come back again?’
We have received many invitations in that handwriting. I know it well, and
so does Francesca, though it is blurred; and the reason for this,
according to my way of thinking, is that it has been lying next the moist
stems of flowers, and unless I do her wrong, very near to somebody’s warm
heart as well.
I will not betray her to Salemina, even to gain a victory over that blind
and deaf but much beloved woman. How could I, with my heart beating high
at the thought of seeing my ain dear laddie before many days?
Oh, love, love, lassie,
Love is like a dizziness:
It winna lat a puir body
Gang aboot his business.’
Chapter XIV. The wee theekit hoosie in the loaning.
‘Now she’s cast aff her bonny shoon
Made o’ gilded leather,
And she’s put on her Hieland brogues
To skip amang the heather.
And she’s cast aff her bonny goon
Made o’ the silk and satin,
And she’s put on a tartan plaid
To row amang the braken.’
Lizzie Baillie.
We are in the East Neuk o’ Fife; we are in Pettybaw; we are neither
boarders nor lodgers; we are residents, inhabitants, householders, and we
live (live, mind you) in a wee theekit hoosie in the old loaning. Words
fail to tell you how absolutely Scotch we are and how blissfully happy. It
is a happiness, I assure you, achieved through great tribulation. Salemina
and I travelled many miles in railway trains, and many in various other
sorts of wheeled vehicles, while the ideal ever beckoned us onward. I was
determined to find a romantic lodging, Salemina a comfortable one, and
this special combination of virtues is next to impossible, as every one
knows. Linghurst was too much of a town; Bonnie Craig had no respectable
inn; Winnybrae was struggling to be a watering-place; Broomlea had no
golf-course within ten miles, and we intended to go back to our native
land and win silver goblets in mixed foursomes; the ‘new toun o’ Fairlock’
(which looked centuries old) was delightful, but we could not find
apartments there; Pinkie Leith was nice, but they were tearing up the
‘fore street’ and laying drain-pipes in it. Strathdee had been highly
recommended, but it rained when we were in Strathdee, and nobody can
deliberately settle in a place where it rains during the process of
deliberation. No train left this moist and dripping hamlet for three
hours, so we took a covered trap and drove onward in melancholy mood.
Suddenly the clouds lifted and the rain ceased; the driver thought we
should be having settled weather now, and put back the top of the
carriage, saying meanwhile that it was a verra dry simmer this year, and
that the crops sairly needed shoo’rs.
“Of course, if there is any district in Scotland where for any reason
droughts are possible, that is where we wish to settle,” I whispered to
Salemina; “though, so far as I can see, the Strathdee crops are up to
their knees in mud. Here is another wee village. What is this place,
driver?”
“Pettybaw, mam; a fine toun!”
“Will there be apartments to let there?”
“I cudna say, mam.”
“Susanna Crum’s father! How curious that he should live here!” I murmured;
and at this moment the sun came out, and shone full, or at least almost
full, on our future home.
“Pettybaw! Petit bois, I suppose,” said Salemina; “and there, to be sure,
it is,—the ‘little wood’ yonder.”
We drove to the Pettybaw Inn and Posting Establishment, and, alighting,
dismissed the driver. We had still three good hours of daylight, although
it was five o’clock, and we refreshed ourselves with a delicious cup of
tea before looking for lodgings. We consulted the greengrocer, the baker,
and the flesher, about furnished apartments, and started on our quest, not
regarding the little posting establishment as a possibility. Apartments we
found to be very scarce, and in one or two places that were quite suitable
the landlady refused to do any cooking. We wandered from house to house,
the sun shining brighter and brighter, and Pettybaw looking lovelier and
lovelier; and as we were refused shelter again and again, we grew more and
more enamoured, as is the manner of human kind. The blue sea sparkled, and
Pettybaw Sands gleamed white a mile or two in the distance, the pretty
stone church raised its curved spire from the green trees, the manse next
door was hidden in vines, the sheep lay close to the grey stone walls and
the young lambs nestled beside them, while the song of the burn, tinkling
merrily down the glade on the edge of which we stood, and the cawing of
the rooks in the little wood, were the only sounds to be heard.
Salemina, under the influence of this sylvan solitude, nobly declared that
she could and would do without a set bath-tub, and proposed building a
cabin and living near to nature’s heart.
“I think, on the whole, we should be more comfortable living near to the
innkeeper’s heart,” I answered. “Let us go back there and pass the night,
trying thus the bed and breakfast, with a view to seeing what they are
like—although they did say in Edinburgh that nobody thinks of living
in these wayside hostelries.”
Back we went, accordingly, and after ordering dinner came out and strolled
idly up the main street. A small sign in the draper’s window, heretofore
overlooked, caught our eye. ‘House and Garden To Let Inquire Within.’
Inquiring within with all possible speed, we found the draper selling
winceys, the draper’s assistant tidying the ribbon-box, the draper’s wife
sewing in one corner, and the draper’s baby playing on the clean floor. We
were impressed favourably, and entered into negotiations without delay.
“The house will be in the loaning; do you mind, ma’am?” asked the draper.
(We have long since discovered that this use of the verb is a bequest from
the Gaelic, in which there is no present tense. Man never is, but always
to be blessed, in that language, which in this particular is not unlike
old-fashioned Calvinism.)
We went out of the back door and down the green loaning, until we came to
the wee stone cottage in which the draper himself lives most of the year,
retiring for the warmer months to the back of his shop, and eking out a
comfortable income by renting his hearth-stone to the summer visitor.
The thatched roof on the wing that formed the kitchen attracted my
artist’s eye, and we went in to examine the interior, which we found
surprisingly attractive. There was a tiny sitting-room, with a fireplace
and a microscopic piano; a dining-room adorned with portraits of relatives
who looked nervous when they met my eye, for they knew that they would be
turned face to the wall on the morrow; four bedrooms, a kitchen, and a
back garden so filled with vegetables and flowers that we exclaimed with
astonishment and admiration.
“But we cannot keep house in Scotland,” objected Salemina. “Think of the
care! And what about the servants?”
“Why not eat at the inn?” I suggested. “Think of living in a real loaning,
Salemina! Look at the stone floor in the kitchen, and the adorable stuffy
box-bed in the wall! Look at the bust of Sir Walter in the hall, and the
chromo of Melrose Abbey by moonlight! Look at the lintel over the front
door, with a ship, moon, stars, and 1602 carved in the stone! What is food
to all this?”
Salemina agreed that it was hardly worth considering; and in truth so many
landladies had refused to receive her as a tenant that day that her
spirits were rather low, and she was uncommonly flexible.
“It is the lintel and the back garden that rents the hoose,” remarked the
draper complacently in broad Scotch that I cannot reproduce. He is a
house-agent as well as a draper, and went on to tell us that when he had a
cottage he could rent in no other way he planted plenty of creepers in
front of it. “The baker’s hoose is no sae bonnie,” he said, “and the linen
and cutlery verra scanty, but there is a yellow laburnum growin’ by the
door: the leddies see that, and forget to ask aboot the linen. It depends
a good bit on the weather, too; it is easy to let a hoose when the sun
shines upon it.”
“We hardly dare undertake regular housekeeping,” I said; “do your tenants
ever take meals at the inn?”
“I cudna say, mam.” (Dear, dear, the Crums are a large family!)
“If we did that, we should still need a servant to keep the house tidy,”
said Salemina, as we walked away. “Perhaps housemaids are to be had,
though not nearer than Edinburgh, I fancy.”
This gave me an idea, and I slipped over to the post-office while Salemina
was preparing for dinner, and despatched a telegram to Mrs. M’Collop at
Breadalbane Terrace, asking her if she could send a reliable general
servant to us, capable of cooking simple breakfasts and caring for a
house.
We had scarcely finished our Scotch broth, fried haddies, mutton-chops,
and rhubarb tart when I received an answer from Mrs. M’Collop to the
effect that her sister’s husband’s niece, Jane Grieve, could join us on
the morrow if we desired. The relationship was an interesting fact, though
we scarcely thought the information worth the additional pennies we paid
for it in the telegram; however, Mrs. M’Collop’s comfortable assurance,
together with the quality of the rhubarb tart and mutton-chops, brought us
to a decision. Before going to sleep we rented the draper’s house, named
it Bide-a-Wee Cottage, engaged daily luncheons and dinners for three
persons at the Pettybaw Inn and Posting Establishment, telegraphed to
Edinburgh for Jane Grieve, to Callander for Francesca, and despatched a
letter to Paris for Mr. Beresford, telling him we had taken a ‘wee theekit
hoosie,’ and that the ‘yett was ajee’ whenever he chose to come.
“Possibly it would have been wiser not send for them until we were
settled,” I said reflectively. “Jane Grieve may not prove a suitable
person.”
“The name somehow sounds too young and inexperienced,” observed Salemina,
“and what association have I with the phrase ‘sister’s husband’s niece’?”
“You have heard me quote Lewis Carroll’s verse, perhaps:—
‘He thought he saw a buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece;
He looked again and found it was
His sister’s husband’s niece:
“Unless you leave the house,” he said,
“I’ll send for the police!”’
The only thing that troubles me,” I went on, “is the question of Willie
Beresford’s place of residence. He expects to be somewhere within easy
walking or cycling distance,—four or five miles at most.”
“He won’t be desolate even if he doesn’t have a thatched roof, a pansy
garden, and a blossoming shrub,” said Salemina sleepily, for our business
arrangements and discussions had lasted well into the evening. “What he
will want is a lodging where he can have frequent sight and speech of you.
How I dread him! How I resent his sharing of you with us! I don’t know why
I use the word ‘sharing,’ forsooth! There is nothing half so fair and just
in his majesty’s greedy mind. Well, it’s the way of the world; only it is
odd, with the universe of women to choose from, that he must needs take
you. Strathdee seems the most desirable place for him, if he has a
macintosh and rubber boots. Inchcaldy is another town near here that we
didn’t see at all—that might do; the draper’s wife says that we can
send fine linen to the laundry there.”
“Inchcaldy? Oh yes, I think we heard of it in Edinburgh—at least I
have some association with the name: it has a fine golf-course, I believe,
and very likely we ought to have looked at it, although for my part I have
no regrets. Nothing can equal Pettybaw; and I am so pleased to be a
Scottish householder! Aren’t we just like Bessie Bell and Mary Gray?
‘They were twa bonnie lassies;
They biggit a bower on yon burnbrae,
An’ theekit it ower wi’ rashes.’
Think of our stone-floored kitchen, Salemina! Think of the real box-bed in
the wall for little Jane Grieve! She will have red-gold hair, blue eyes,
and a pink cotton gown. Think of our own cat! Think how Francesca will
admire the 1602 lintel! Think of our back garden, with our own ‘neeps’ and
vegetable marrows growing in it! Think how they will envy us at home when
they learn that we have settled down into Scottish yeowomen!
‘It’s oh, for a patch of land!
It’s oh, for a patch of land!
Of all the blessings tongue can name,
There’s nane like a patch of land!’
Think of Willie coming to step on the floor and look at the bed and stroke
the cat and covet the lintel and walk in the garden and weed the turnips
and pluck the marrows that grow by our ain wee theekit hoosie!”
“Penelope, you appear slightly intoxicated! Do close the window and come
to bed.”
“I am intoxicated with the caller air of Pettybaw,” I rejoined, leaning on
the window-sill and looking at the stars, while I thought: “Edinburgh was
beautiful; it is the most beautiful grey city in the world; it lacked one
thing only to make it perfect, and Pettybaw will have that before many
moons:—
‘Oh, Willie’s rare an’ Willie’s fair
An’ Willie’s wondrous bonny;
An’ Willie’s hecht to marry me
Gin e’er he marries ony.
‘O gentle wind that bloweth south,
From where my love repaireth,
Convey a word from his dear mouth,
An’ tell me how he fareth.’”
Chapter XV. Jane Grieve and her grievances.
‘Gae tak’ awa’ the china plates,
Gae tak’ them far frae me;
And bring to me a wooden dish,
It’s that I’m best used wi’.
And tak’ awa’ thae siller spoons,
The like I ne’er did see,
And bring to me the horn cutties,
They’re good eneugh for me.’
Earl Richard’s Wedding.
The next day was one of the most cheerful and one of the most fatiguing
that I ever spent. Salemina and I moved every article of furniture in our
wee theekit hoosie from the place where it originally stood to another and
a better place: arguing, of course, over the precise spot it should
occupy, which was generally upstairs if the thing were already down, or
downstairs if it were already up. We hid all the more hideous ornaments of
the draper’s wife, and folded away her most objectionable tidies and
table-covers, replacing them with our own pretty draperies. There were
only two pictures in the sitting-room, and as an artist I would not have
parted with them for worlds. The first was The Life of a Fireman, which
could only remind one of the explosion of a mammoth tomato, and the other
was The Spirit of Poetry calling Burns from the Plough. Burns wore white
knee-breeches, military boots, a splendid waistcoat with lace ruffles, and
carried a cocked hat. To have been so dressed he must have known the
Spirit was intending to come. The plough-horse was a magnificent Arabian,
whose tail swept the freshly furrowed earth, while the Spirit of Poetry
was issuing from a practicable wigwam on the left, and was a lady of such
ample dimensions that no poet would have dared say ‘no’ when she called
him.
The dining-room was blighted by framed photographs of the draper’s
relations and the draper’s wife’s relations; all uniformly ugly. It seems
strange that married couples having the least beauty to bequeath to their
offspring should persist in having the largest families. These ladies and
gentlemen were too numerous to remove, so we obscured them with trailing
branches; reflecting that we only breakfasted in the room, and the morning
meal is easily digested when one lives in the open air. We arranged
flowers everywhere, and bought potted plants at a little nursery hard by.
We apportioned the bedrooms, giving Francesca the hardest bed,—as
she is the youngest, and wasn’t here to choose,—me the next hardest,
and Salemina the best; Francesca the largest looking-glass and wardrobe,
me the best view, and Salemina the largest bath. We bought housekeeping
stores, distributing our patronage equally between the two grocers; we
purchased aprons and dust-cloths from the rival drapers, engaged bread and
rolls from the baker, milk and cream from the plumber (who keeps three
cows), interviewed the flesher about chops; in fact, no young couple
facing love in a cottage ever had a busier or happier time than we; and at
sundown, when Francesca arrived, we were in the pink of order, standing
under our own lintel, ready to welcome her to Pettybaw. As to being
strangers in a strange land, we had a bowing acquaintance with everybody
on the main street of the tiny village, and were on terms of considerable
intimacy with half a dozen families, including dogs and babies.
Francesca was delighted with everything, from the station (Pettybaw Sands,
two miles away) to Jane Grieve’s name, which she thought as perfect, in
its way, as Susanna Crum’s. She had purchased a ‘tirling-pin,’ that
old-time precursor of knockers and bells, at an antique shop in Oban, and
we fastened it on the front door at once, taking turns at risping it until
our own nerves were shattered, and the draper’s wife ran down the loaning
to see if we were in need of anything. The twisted bar of iron stands out
from the door and the ring is drawn up and down over a series of nicks,
making a rasping noise. The lovers and ghaists in the old ballads always
‘tirled at the pin,’ you remember; that is, touched it gently.
Francesca brought us letters from Edinburgh, and what was my joy, in
opening Willie’s, to learn that he begged us to find a place in Fifeshire,
and as near St. Rules or Strathdee as convenient; for in that case he
could accept an invitation he had just received to visit his friend Robin
Anstruther, at Rowardennan Castle.
“It is not the visit at the castle I wish so much, you may be sure,” he
wrote, “as the fact that Lady Ardmore will make everything pleasant for
you. You will like my friend Robin Anstruther, who is Lady Ardmore’s
youngest brother, and who is going to her to be nursed and coddled after a
baddish accident in the hunting-field. He is very sweet-tempered, and will
get on well with Francesca—”
“I don’t see the connection,” rudely interrupted that spirited young
person.
“I suppose she has more room on her list in the country than she had in
Edinburgh; but if my remembrance serves me, she always enrolls a goodly
number of victims, whether she has any immediate use for them or not.”
“Mr. Beresford’s manners have not been improved by his residence in
Paris,” observed Francesca, with resentment in her tone and delight in her
eye.
“Mr. Beresford’s manners are always perfect,” said Salemina loyally, “and
I have no doubt that this visit to Lady Ardmore will be extremely pleasant
for him, though very embarrassing to us. If we are thrown into forced
intimacy with a castle” (Salemina spoke of it as if it had fangs and a
lashing tail), “what shall we do in this draper’s hut?”
“Salemina!” I expostulated, “bears will devour you as they did the
ungrateful child in the fairy-tale. I wonder at your daring to use the
word ‘hut’ in connection with our wee theekit hoosie!”
“They will never understand that we are doing all this for the novelty of
it,” she objected. “The Scottish nobility and gentry probably never think
of renting a house for a joke. Imagine Lord and Lady Ardmore, the young
Ardmores, Robin Anstruther, and Willie Beresford calling upon us in this
sitting-room! We ourselves would have to sit in the hall and talk in
through the doorway.”
“All will be well,” Francesca assured her soothingly. “We shall be
pardoned much because we are Americans, and will not be expected to know
any better. Besides, the gifted Miss Hamilton is an artist, and that
covers a multitude of sins against conventionality. When the castle people
‘tirl at the pin,’ I will appear as the maid, if you like, following your
example at Mrs Bobby’s cottage in Belvern, Pen.”
“And it isn’t as if there were many houses to choose from, Salemina, nor
as if Bide-a-Wee cottage were cheap,” I continued. “Think of the rent we
pay and keep your head high. Remember that the draper’s wife says there is
nothing half so comfortable in Inchcaldy, although that is twice as large
a town.”
“INCHCALDY!” ejaculated Francesca, sitting down heavily upon the sofa and
staring at me.
“Inchcaldy, my dear,—spelled CALDY, but pronounced CAWDY; the town
where you are to take your nonsensical little fripperies to be laundered.”
“Where is Inchcaldy? How far away?”
“About five miles, I believe, but a lovely road.”
“Well,” she exclaimed bitterly, “of course Scotland is a small,
insignificant country; but, tiny as it is, it presents some liberty of
choice, and why you need have pitched upon Pettybaw, and brought me here,
when it is only five miles from Inchcaldy, and a lovely road besides, is
more than I can understand!”
“In what way has Inchcaldy been so unhappy as to offend you?” I asked.
“It has not offended me, save that it chances to be Ronald Macdonald’s
parish—that is all.”
“Ronald Macdonald’s parish!” we repeated automatically.
“Certainly—you must have heard him mention Inchcaldy; and how queer
he will think it that I have come to Pettybaw, under all the
circumstances!”
“We do not know ‘all the circumstances,’” quoted Salemina somewhat
haughtily; “and you must remember, my dear, that our opportunities for
speech with Mr. Macdonald have been very rare when you were present. For
my part, I was always in such a tremor of anxiety during his visits lest
one or both of you should descend to blows that I remember no details of
his conversation. Besides, we did not choose Pettybaw; we discovered it by
chance as we were driving from Strathdee to St. Rules. How were we to know
that it was near this fatal Inchcaldy? If you think it best, we will hold
no communication with the place, and Mr. Macdonald need never know you are
here.”
I thought Francesca looked rather startled at this proposition. At all
events she said hastily, “Oh, well, let it go; we could not avoid each
other long, anyway, although it is very awkward, of course; you see, we
did not part friends.”
“I thought I had never seen you on more cordial terms,” remarked Salemina.
“But you weren’t there,” answered Francesca unguardedly.
“Weren’t where?”
“Weren’t there.”
“Where?”
“At the station.”
“What station?”
“The station in Edinburgh from which I started for the Highlands.”
“You never said that he came to see you off.”
“The matter was too unimportant for notice; and the more I think of his
being here, the less I mind it after all; and so, dull care, begone! When
I first meet him on the sands or in the loaning, I shall say, ‘Dear me, is
it Mr. Macdonald! What brought you to our quiet hamlet?’ (I shall put the
responsibility on him, you know.) ‘That is the worst of these small
countries,—fowk are aye i’ the gait! When we part for ever in
America, we are able to stay parted, if we wish.’ Then he will say, ‘Quite
so, quite so; but I suppose even you, Miss Monroe, will allow that a
minister may not move his church to please a lady.’ ‘Certainly not,’ I
shall reply, ‘especially when it is Estaiblished!’ Then he will laugh, and
we shall be better friends for a few moments; and then I shall tell him my
latest story about the Scotchman who prayed, ‘Lord, I do not ask that Thou
shouldst give me wealth; only show me where it is, and I will attend to
the rest.’”
Salemina moaned at the delightful prospect opening before us, while I went
to the piano and carolled impersonally—
“Oh, wherefore did I cross the Forth,
And leave my love behind me?
Why did I venture to the north
With one that did not mind me?
I’m sure I’ve seen a better limb
And twenty better faces;
But still my mind it runs on him
When I am at the races!”
Francesca left the room at this, and closed the door behind her with such
energy that the bust of Sir Walter rocked on the hall shelf. Running
upstairs she locked herself in her bedroom, and came down again only to
help us receive Jane Grieve, who arrived at eight o’clock.
In times of joy Salemina, Francesca, and I occasionally have our trifling
differences of opinion, but in hours of affliction we are as one flesh. An
all-wise Providence sent us Jane Grieve for fear that we should be too
happy in Pettybaw. Plans made in heaven for the discipline of sinful human
flesh are always successful, and this was no exception.
We had sent a ‘machine’ from the inn to meet her, and when it drew up at
the door we went forward to greet the rosy little Jane of our fancy. An
aged person, wearing a rusty black bonnet and shawl, and carrying what
appeared to be a tin cake-box and a baby’s bath-tub, descended
rheumatically from the vehicle and announced herself as Miss Grieve. She
was too old to call by her Christian name, too sensitive to call by her
surname, so Miss Grieve she remained, as announced, to the end of the
chapter, and our rosy little Jane died before she was actually born. The
man took her grotesque luggage into the kitchen, and Salemina escorted her
thither, while Francesca and I fell into each other’s arms and laughed
hysterically.
“Nobody need tell me that she is Mrs. M’Collop’s sister’s husband’s
niece,” she whispered, “although she may possibly be somebody’s
grand-aunt. Doesn’t she remind you of Mrs. Gummidge?”
Salemina returned in a quarter of an hour, and sank dejectedly on the
sofa.
“Run over to the inn, Francesca” she said, “and order bacon and eggs at
eight-thirty to-morrow morning. Miss Grieve thinks we had better not
breakfast at home until she becomes accustomed to the surroundings.”
“Shall we allow her to become accustomed to them?” I questioned.
“She came up from Glasgow to Edinburgh for the day, and went to see Mrs.
M’Collop just as our telegram arrived. She was living with an ‘extremely
nice family’ in Glasgow, and only broke her engagement in order to try
Fifeshire air for the summer; so she will remain with us as long as she is
benefited by the climate.”
“Can’t you pay her for a month and send her away?”
“How can we? She is Mrs. M’Collop’s sister’s husband’s niece, and we
intend returning to Mrs. M’Collop. She has a nice ladylike appearance, but
when she takes her bonnet off she looks seventy years old.”
“She ought always to keep it off, then,” returned Francesca, “for she
looked eighty with it on. We shall have to soothe her last moments, of
course, and pay her funeral expenses. Did you offer her a cup of tea and
show her the box-bed?”
“Yes; she said she was muckle obleeged to me, but the coals were so poor
and hard she couldna batter them up to start a fire the nicht, and she
would try the box-bed to see if she could sleep in it. I am glad to
remember that it was you who telegraphed for her, Penelope.”
“Let there be no recriminations,” I responded; “let us stand shoulder to
shoulder in this calamity,—isn’t there a story called Calamity Jane?
We might live at the inn, and give her the cottage for a summer residence,
but I utterly refuse to be parted from our cat and the 1602 lintel.”
After I have once described Miss Grieve I shall not suffer her to begloom
these pages as she did our young lives. She is so exactly like her kind in
America she cannot be looked upon as a national type. Everywhere we go we
see fresh, fair-haired, sonsie lasses; why should we have been visited by
this affliction, we who have no courage in a foreign land to rid ourselves
of it?
She appears at the door of the kitchen with some complaint, and stands
there talking to herself in a depressing murmur until she arrives at the
next grievance. Whenever we hear this, which is whenever we are in the
sitting-room, we amuse ourselves by chanting lines of melancholy poetry
which correspond to the sentiments she seems to be uttering. It is the
only way the infliction can be endured, for the sitting-room is so small
that we cannot keep the door closed habitually. The effect of this plan is
something like the following:—
She. “The range has sic a bad draft I canna mak’ the fire draw!”
We. ‘But I’m ower auld for the tears to start,
An’ sae the sighs maun blaw!’
She. “The clock i’ the hall doesna strike. I have to get oot o’ my bed to
see the time.”
We. ‘The broken hairt it kens
Nae second spring again!’
She. “There’s no’ eneuch jugs i’ the hoose.”
We. ‘I’m downright dizzy wi’ the thought—
In troth I’m like to greet!’
She. “The sink drain isna recht.”
We. ‘An’ it’s oh! to win awa’, awa’,
An’ it’s oh! to win awa’!’
She. “I canna thole a box-bed!”
We. ‘Ay waukin O
Waukin O an’ weary.
Sleep I can get nane,
Ay waukin O!’
She. “It’s fair insultin’ to rent a hoose wi’ so few convenience.”
We. ‘An’ I’m ower auld to fish ony mair,
An’ I hinna the chance to droon.’
She. “The work is fair sickenin’ i’ this hoose, an’ a’ for ane puir body
to do by her lane.”
We. ‘How can ye chant, ye little birds,
An’ I sae weary, fu’ o’ care?’
She. “Ah, but that was a fine family I lived wi’ in Glasgy; an’ it’s a
wearifu’ day’s work I’ve had the day.”
We. ‘Oh why was I spared to cry, Wae’s me!’
She. “Why dinna they leave floo’rs i’ the garden makin’ a mess i’ the
hoose wi’ ‘em? It’s not for the knowin’ what they will be after next!”
We. ‘Oh, waly waly up the bank,
And waly waly doon the brae!’
Miss Grieve’s plaints never grow less, though we are sometimes at a loss
for appropriate quotations to match them. The poetic interpolations are
introduced merely to show the general spirit of her conversation. They
take the place of her sighs, which are by their nature unprintable. Many
times each day she is wont to sink into one low chair, and, extending her
feet in another, close her eyes and murmur undistinguishable plaints which
come to us in a kind of rhythmic way. She has such a shaking right hand we
have been obliged to give up coffee and have tea, as the former beverage
became too unsettled on its journey from the kitchen to the
breakfast-table. She says she kens she is a guid cook, though salf-praise
is sma’ racommendation (sma’ as it is she will get nae ither!); but we
have little opportunity to test her skill, as she prepares only our
breakfasts of eggs and porridge. Visions of home-made goodies had danced
before our eyes, but as the hall clock doesna strike she is unable to rise
at any exact hour, and as the range draft is bad, and the coals too hard
to batter up wi’ a hatchet, we naturally have to content ourselves with
the baker’s loaf.
And this is a truthful portrait of ‘Calamity Jane,’ our one Pettybaw
grievance.
Chapter XVI. The path that led to Crummylowe.
‘Gae farer up the burn to Habbie’s Howe,
Where a’ the sweets o’ spring an’ simmer grow:
Between twa birks, out o’er a little lin,
The water fa’s an’ mak’s a singan din;
A pool breast-deep, beneath as clear as glass,
Kisses, wi’ easy whirls, the bord’ring grass.’
The Gentle Shepherd.
That is what Peggy says to Jenny in Allan Ramsay’s poem, and if you
substitute ‘Crummylowe’ for ‘Habbie’s Howe’ in the first line, you will
have a lovely picture of the farm-steadin’.
You come to it by turning the corner from the inn, first passing the
cottage where the lady wishes to rent two rooms for fifteen shillings a
week, but will not give much attendance, as she is slightly asthmatic, and
the house is always as clean as it is this minute, and the view from the
window looking out on Pettybaw Bay canna be surpassed at ony money. Then
comes the little house where Will’am Beattie’s sister Mary died in May,
and there wasna a bonnier woman in Fife. Next is the cottage with the
pansy-garden, where the lady in the widow’s cap takes five-o’clock tea in
the bay-window, and a snug little supper at eight. She has for the first,
scones and marmalade, and her tea is in a small black teapot under a red
cosy with a white muslin cover drawn over it. At eight she has more tea,
and generally a kippered herring, or a bit of cold mutton left from the
noon dinner. We note the changes in her bill of fare as we pass hastily
by, and feel admitted quite into the family secrets. Beyond this
bay-window, which is so redolent of simple peace and comfort that we long
to go in and sit down, is the cottage with the double white tulips, the
cottage with the collie on the front steps, the doctor’s house with the
yellow laburnum tree, and then the house where the Disagreeable Woman
lives. She has a lovely baby, which, to begin with, is somewhat
remarkable, as disagreeable women rarely have babies; or else, having had
them, rapidly lose their disagreeableness—so rapidly that one has
not time to notice it. The Disagreeable Woman’s house is at the end of the
row, and across the road is a wicket-gate leading—Where did it lead?—that
was the very point. Along the left, as you lean wistfully over the gate,
there runs a stone wall topped by a green hedge; and on the right, first
furrows of pale fawn, then below, furrows of deeper brown, and mulberry,
and red ploughed earth stretching down to waving fields of green, and
thence to the sea, grey, misty, opalescent, melting into the pearly white
clouds, so that one cannot tell where sea ends and sky begins.
There is a path between the green hedge and the ploughed field, and it
leads seductively to the farm-steadin’; or we felt that it might thus
lead, if we dared unlatch the wicket gate. Seeing no sign ‘Private Way,’
‘Trespassers Not Allowed,’ or other printed defiance to the stranger, we
were considering the opening of the gate, when we observed two female
figures coming toward us along the path, and paused until they should come
through. It was the Disagreeable Woman (although we knew it not) and an
elderly friend. We accosted the friend, feeling instinctively that she was
framed of softer stuff, and asked her if the path were a private one. It
was a question that had never met her ear before, and she was too dull or
too discreet to deal with it on the instant. To our amazement, she did not
even manage to falter, ‘I couldna say.’
“Is the path private?” I repeated.
“It is certainly the idea to keep it a little private,” said the
Disagreeable Woman, coming into the conversation without being addressed.
“Where do you wish to go?”
“Nowhere in particular. The walk looks so inviting we should like to see
the end.”
“It goes only to the Farm, and you can reach that by the highroad; it is
only a half-mile further. Do you wish to call at the Farm?”
“No, oh no; the path is so very pretty that—”
“Yes, I see; well, I should call it rather private.” And with this she
departed, leaving us to stand on the outskirts of paradise, while she went
into her house and stared at us from the window as she played with the
lovely undeserved baby. But that was not the end of the matter.
We found ourselves there next day, Francesca and I—Salemina was too
proud—drawn by an insatiable longing to view the beloved and
forbidden scene. We did not dare to glance at the Disagreeable Woman’s
windows, lest our courage should ooze away, so we opened the gate and
stole through into the rather private path.
It was a most lovely path; even if it had not been in a sense prohibited,
it would still have been lovely, simply on its own merits. There were
little gaps in the hedge and the wall, through which we peered into a
daisy-starred pasture, where a white bossy and a herd of flaxen-haired
cows fed on the sweet green grass. The mellow ploughed earth on the right
hand stretched down to the shore-line, and a plough-boy walked up and down
the long, straight furrows whistling ‘My Nannie’s awa’.’ Pettybaw is so
far removed from the music-halls that their cheap songs and strident
echoes never reach its sylvan shades, and the herd-laddies and plough-boys
still sweeten their labours with the old classic melodies.
We walked on and on, determined to come every day; and we settled that if
we were accosted by any one, or if our innocent business were demanded,
Francesca should ask, ‘Does Mrs. Macstronachlacher live here, and has she
any new-laid eggs?’
Soon the gates of the Farm appeared in sight. There was a cluster of
buildings, with doves huddling and cooing on the red-tiled roofs,—dairy
houses, workmen’s cottages, comely rows of haystacks (towering yellow
things with peaked tops); a little pond with ducks and geese chattering
together as they paddled about, and for additional music the trickling of
two tiny burns making ‘a singan din,’ as they wimpled through the bushes.
A speckle-breasted thrush perched on a corner of the grey wall and poured
his heart out. Overhead there was a chorus of rooks in the tall trees, but
there was no sound of human voice save that of the plough-laddie whistling
‘My Nannie’s awa’.’
We turned our backs on this darling solitude, and retraced our steps
lingeringly. As we neared the wicket gate again we stood upon a bit of
jutting rock and peered over the wall, sniffing the hawthorn buds with
ecstasy. The white bossy drew closer, treading softly on its daisy carpet;
the wondering cows looked up at us as they peacefully chewed their cuds; a
man in corduroy breeches came from a corner of the pasture, and with a
sharp, narrow hoe rooted out a thistle or two that had found their way
into this sweet feeding-ground. Suddenly we heard the swish of a dress
behind, and turned, conscience-stricken, though we had in nothing sinned.
“Does Mrs. Macstronachlacher live here?” stammered Francesca like a
parrot.
It was an idiotic time and place for the question. We had certainly
arranged that she should ask it, but something must be left to the
judgment in such cases. Francesca was hanging over a stone wall regarding
a herd of cows in a pasture, and there was no possible shelter for a Mrs.
Macstronachlacher within a quarter of a mile. What made the remark more
unfortunate was the fact that, although she had on a different dress and
bonnet, the person interrogated was the Disagreeable Woman; but Francesca
is particularly slow in discerning resemblances. She would have gone on
mechanically asking for new-laid eggs, had I not caught her eye and held
it sternly. The foe looked at us suspiciously for a moment (Francesca’s
hats are not easily forgotten), and then vanished up the path, to tell the
people at Crummylowe, I suppose, that their grounds were invested by
marauding strangers whose curiosity was manifestly the outgrowth of a
republican government.
As she disappeared in one direction, we walked slowly in the other; and
just as we reached the corner of the pasture where two stone walls meet,
and where a group of oaks gives grateful shade, we heard children’s
voices.
“No, no!” cried somebody; “it must be still higher at this end, for the
tower—this is where the king will sit. Help me with this heavy one,
Rafe. Dandie, mind your foot. Why don’t you be making the flag for the
ship?—and do keep the Wrig away from us till we finish building!”
Chapter XVII. Playing Sir Patrick Spens.
‘O lang, lang may the ladyes sit
Wi’ their face into their hand,
Before they see Sir Patrick Spens
Come sailing to the strand.’
Sir Patrick Spens.
We forced our toes into the crevices of the wall and peeped stealthily
over the top. Two boys of eight or ten years, with two younger children,
were busily engaged in building a castle. A great pile of stones had been
hauled to the spot, evidently for the purpose of mending the wall, and
these were serving as rich material for sport. The oldest of the company,
a bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked boy in an Eton jacket and broad white collar,
was obviously commander-in-chief; and the next in size, whom he called
Rafe, was a laddie of eight, in kilts. These two looked as if they might
be scions of the aristocracy, while Dandie and the Wrig were fat little
yokels of another sort. The miniature castle must have been the work of
several mornings, and was worthy of the respectful but silent admiration
with which we gazed upon it; but as the last stone was placed in the
tower, the master builder looked up and spied our interested eyes peering
at him over the wall. We were properly abashed, and ducked our heads
discreetly at once, but were reassured by hearing him run rapidly towards
us, calling, “Stop, if you please! Have you anything on just now—are
you busy?”
We answered that we were quite at leisure.
“Then would you mind coming in to help us play ‘Sir Patrick Spens’? There
aren’t enough of us to do it nicely.”
This confidence was touching, and luckily it was not in the least
misplaced. Playing ‘Sir Patrick Spens’ was exactly in our line, little as
he suspected it.
“Come and help?” I said. “Simply delighted! Do come, Fanny dear. How can
we get over the wall?”
“I’ll show you the good broken place!” cried Sir Apple-Cheek; and
following his directions we scrambled through, while Rafe took off his
Highland bonnet ceremoniously and handed us down to earth.
“Hurrah! now it will be something like fun! Do you know ‘Sir Patrick
Spens’?”
“Every word of it. Don’t you want us to pass an examination before you
allow us in the game?”
“No,” he answered gravely; “it’s a great help, of course, to know it, but
it isn’t necessary. I keep the words in my pocket to prompt Dandie, and
the Wrig can only say two lines, she’s so little.” (Here he produced some
tattered leaves torn from a book of ballads.) “We’ve done it many a time,
but this is a new Dunfermline Castle, and we are trying the play in a
different way. Rafe is the king, and Dandie is the ‘eldern knight,’—you
remember him?”
“Certainly; he sat at the king’s right knee.”
“Yes, yes, that’s the one! Then Rafe is Sir Patrick part of the time, and
I the other part, because everybody likes to be him; but there’s nobody
left for the ‘lords o’ Noroway’ or the sailors, and the Wrig is the only
maiden to sit on the shore, and she always forgets to comb her hair and
weep at the right time.”
The forgetful and placid Wrig (I afterwards learned that this is a Scots
word for the youngest bird in the nest) was seated on the grass, with her
fat hands full of pink thyme and white wild woodruff. The sun shone on her
curly flaxen head. She wore a dark blue cotton frock with white dots, and
a short-sleeved pinafore; and though she was utterly useless from a
dramatic point of view, she was the sweetest little Scotch dumpling I ever
looked upon. She had been tried and found wanting in most of the principal
parts of the ballad, but when left out of the performance altogether she
was wont to scream so lustily that all Crummylowe rushed to her
assistance.
“Now let us practise a bit to see if we know what we are going to do,”
said Sir Apple-Cheek. “Rafe, you can be Sir Patrick this time. The reason
why we all like to be Sir Patrick,” he explained, turning to me, “is that
the lords o’ Noroway say to him—
‘Ye Scottishmen spend a’ our King’s gowd,
And a’ our Queenis fee’;
and then he answers,—
‘“Ye lee! ye lee! ye leers loud,
Fu’ loudly do ye lee!”’
and a lot of splendid things like that. Well, I’ll be the king,” and
accordingly he began:—
‘The King sits in Dunfermline tower,
Drinking the bluid-red wine.
“O whaur will I get a skeely skipper
To sail this new ship o’ mine?”’
A dead silence ensued, whereupon the king said testily, “Now, Dandie, you
never remember you’re the eldern knight; go on!”
Thus reminded, Dandie recited:—
‘O up and spake an eldern knight,
Sat at the King’s right knee:
“Sir Patrick Spens is the best sailor
That ever sailed the sea.”’
“Now I’ll write my letter,” said the king, who was endeavouring to make
himself comfortable in his somewhat contracted tower.
‘The King has written a braid letter
And sealed it with his hand;
And sent it to Sir Patrick Spens,
Was walking on the strand.’
“Read the letter out loud, Rafe, and then you’ll remember what to do.”
‘“To Noroway! to Noroway!
To Noroway o’er the faem!
The King’s daughter of Noroway,
‘Tis thou maun bring her hame,”’
read Rafe.
“Now do the next part!”
“I can’t; I’m going to chuck up that next part. I wish you’d do Sir
Patrick until it comes to ‘Ye lee! ‘ye lee!’”
“No, that won’t do, Rafe. We have to mix up everybody else, but it’s too
bad to spoil Sir Patrick.”
“Well, I’ll give him to you, then, and be the king. I don’t mind so much
now that we’ve got such a good tower; and why can’t I stop up there even
after the ship sets sail and look out over the sea with a telescope?
That’s the way Elizabeth did the time she was king.”
“You can stay till you have to come down and be a dead Scots lord. I’m not
going to lie there as I did last time, with nobody but the Wrig for a
Scots lord, and her forgetting to be dead!”
Sir Apple-Cheek then essayed the hard part ‘chucked up’ by Rafe. It was
rather difficult, I confess, as the first four lines were in pantomime,
and required great versatility:—
‘The first word that Sir Patrick read,
Fu’ loud, loud laughed he:
The neist word that Sir Patrick read,
The tear blinded his e’e.’
These conflicting emotions successfully simulated, Sir Patrick resumed:—
‘“O wha is he has done this deed,
And tauld the King o’ me,—
To send us out, at this time o’ the year,
To sail upon the sea?”’
Then the king stood up in the unstable tower and shouted his own orders:—
‘“Be it wind, be it weet, be it hail, be it sleet,
Our ship maun sail the faem;
The King’s daughter o’ Noroway,
‘Tis we maun fetch her hame.”’
“Can’t we rig the ship a little better?” demanded our stage-manager at
this juncture. “It isn’t half as good as the tower.”
Ten minutes’ hard work, in which we assisted, produced something a trifle
more nautical and seaworthy than the first craft. The ground with a few
boards spread upon it was the deck. Tarpaulin sheets were arranged on
sticks to represent sails, and we located the vessel so cleverly that two
slender trees shot out of the middle of it and served as the tall
topmasts.
“Now let us make believe that we’ve hoisted our sails on ‘Mononday morn’
and been in Noroway ‘weeks but only twae,’” said our leading man; “and
your time has come now,”—turning to us.
We felt indeed that it had; but plucking up sufficient courage for the
lords o’ Noroway, we cried accusingly,—
‘“Ye Scottishmen spend a’ our King’s gowd,
And a’ our Queenis fee!”’
Oh but Sir Apple-Cheek was glorious as he roared virtuously:—
‘“Ye lee! ye lee! ye leers loud,
Fu’ loudly do you lee!
“For I brocht as much white monie
As gane my men and me,
An’ I brocht a half-fou o’ gude red gowd
Out ower the sea wi’ me.
“But betide me well, betide me wae,
This day I’se leave the shore;
And never spend my King’s monie
‘Mong Noroway dogs no more.
“Make ready, make ready, my merry men a’,
Our gude ship sails the morn.”’
“Now you be the sailors, please!”
Glad to be anything but Noroway dogs, we recited obediently—
‘“Now, ever alake, my master dear,
I fear a deadly storm?
. . . . . . .
And if ye gang to sea, master,
I fear we’ll come to harm.”’
We added much to the effect of this stanza by flinging ourselves on the
turf and embracing Sir Patrick’s knees, with which touch of melodrama he
was enchanted.
Then came a storm so terrible that I can hardly trust myself to describe
its fury. The entire corps dramatique personated the elements, and tore
the gallant ship in twain, while Sir Patrick shouted in the teeth of the
gale—
‘“O whaur will I get a gude sailor
To tak’ my helm in hand,
Till I get up to the tall topmast
To see if I can spy land?”’
I knew the words a trifle better than Francesca, and thus succeeded in
forestalling her as the fortunate hero—
‘“O here I am, a sailor gude,
To tak’ the helm in hand,
Till you go up to the tall topmast;
But I fear ye’ll ne’er spy land.”’
And the heroic sailor was right, for
‘He hadna gone a step, a step,
A step but only ane,
When a bout flew out o’ our goodly ship,
And the saut sea it came in.’
Then we fetched a web o’ the silken claith, and anither o’ the twine, as
our captain bade us; we wapped them into our ship’s side and letna the sea
come in; but in vain, in vain. Laith were the gude Scots lords to weet
their cork-heeled shune, but they did, and wat their hats abune; for the
ship sank in spite of their despairing efforts,
‘And mony was the gude lord’s son
That never mair cam’ hame.’
Francesca and I were now obliged to creep from under the tarpaulins and
personate the dishevelled ladies on the strand.
“Will your hair come down?” asked the manager gravely.
“It will and shall,” we rejoined; and it did.
‘The ladies wrang their fingers white,
The maidens tore their hair.’
“Do tear your hair, Jessie! It’s the only thing you have to do, and you
never do it on time!”
The Wrig made ready to howl with offended pride, but we soothed her, and
she tore her yellow curls with her chubby hands.
‘And lang, lang may the maidens sit
Wi’ there gowd kaims i’ the hair,
A’ waitin’ for their ain dear luves,
For them they’ll see nae mair.’
I did a bit of sobbing here that would have been a credit to Sarah
Siddons.
“Splendid! Grand!” cried Sir Patrick, as he stretched himself fifty
fathoms below the imaginary surface of the water, and gave explicit
ante-mortem directions to the other Scots lords to spread themselves out
in like manner.
‘Half ower, half ower to Aberdour,
‘Tis fifty fathoms deep,
And there lies gude Sir Patrick Spens,
Wi’ the Scots lords at his feet.’
“Oh, it is grand!” he repeated jubilantly. “If I could only be the king
and see it all from Dunfermline tower! Could you be Sir Patrick once, do
you think, now that I have shown you how?” he asked Francesca.
“Indeed I could!” she replied, glowing with excitement (and small wonder)
at being chosen for the principal role.
“The only trouble is that you do look awfully like a girl in that white
frock.”
Francesca appeared rather ashamed at her natural disqualifications for the
part of Sir Patrick. “If I had only worn my long black cloak!” she sighed.
“Oh, I have an idea!” cried the boy. “Hand her the minister’s gown from
the hedge, Rafe. You see, Mistress Ogilvie of Crummylowe lent us this old
gown for a sail; she’s doing something to a new one, and this was her
pattern.”
Francesca slipped it on over her white serge, and the Pettybaw parson
should have seen her with the long veil of her dark locks floating over
his ministerial garment.
“It seems a pity to put up your hair,” said the stage manager critically,
“because you look so jolly and wild with it down, but I suppose you must;
and will you have Rafe’s bonnet?”
Yes, she would have Rafe’s bonnet; and when she perched it on the side of
her head and paced the deck restlessly, while the black gown floated
behind in the breeze, we all cheered with enthusiasm, and, having rebuilt
the ship, began the play again from the moment of the gale. The wreck was
more horribly realistic than ever, this time, because of our rehearsal;
and when I crawled from under the masts and sails to seat myself on the
beach with the Wrig, I had scarcely strength enough to remove the cooky
from her hand and set her a-combing her curly locks.
When our new Sir Patrick stretched herself on the ocean bed, she fell with
a despairing wail; her gown spread like a pall over the earth, the
Highland bonnet came off, and her hair floated over a haphazard pillow of
Jessie’s wildflowers.
“Oh, it is fine, that part; but from here is where it always goes wrong!”
cried the king from the castle tower. “It’s too bad to take the maidens
away from the strand where they look so bonnie, and Rafe is splendid as
the gude sailor, but Dandie looks so silly as one little dead Scots lord;
if we only had one more person, young or old, if he was ever so stupid!”
“WOULD I DO?”
This unexpected offer came from behind one of the trees that served as
topmasts, and at the same moment there issued from that delightfully
secluded retreat Ronald Macdonald, in knickerbockers and a golf-cap.
Suddenly as this apparition came, there was no lack of welcome on the
children’s part. They shouted his name in glee, embraced his legs, and
pulled him about like affectionate young bears. Confusion reigned for a
moment, while Sir Patrick rose from her sea grave all in a mist of
floating hair, from which hung impromptu garlands of pink thyme and green
grasses.
“Allow me to do the honours, please, Jamie,” said Mr. Macdonald, when he
could escape from the children’s clutches. “Have you been properly
presented? I suppose not. Ladies, the young Master of Rowardennan. Jamie,
Miss Hamilton and Miss Monroe from the United States of America.” Sir
Apple-Cheek bowed respectfully. “Let me present the Honourable Ralph
Ardmore, also from the castle, together with Dandie Dinmont and the Wrig
from Crummylowe. Sir Patrick, it is indeed a pleasure to see you again.
Must you take off my gown? I had thought it was past use, but it never
looked so well before.”
“YOUR gown?”
The counterfeit presentment of Sir Patrick vanished as the long drapery
flew to the hedge whence it came, and there remained only an offended
young goddess, who swung her dark mane tempestuously to one side, plaited
it in a thick braid, tossed it back again over her white serge shoulder,
and crowded on her sailor hat with unnecessary vehemence.
“Yes, MY gown; whose else could you more appropriately borrow, pray?
Mistress Ogilvie of Crummylowe presses, sponges, and darns my bachelor
wardrobe, but I confess I never suspected that she rented it out for
theatrical purposes. I have been calling upon you in Pettybaw; Lady
Ardmore was there at the same time. Finding but one of the three American
Graces at home, I stayed a few moments only, and am now returning to
Inchcaldy by way of Crummylowe.” Here he plucked the gown off the hedge
and folded it carefully.
“Can’t we keep it for a sail, Mr. Macdonald?” pleaded Jamie. “Mistress
Ogilvie said it wasn’t any more good.”
“When Mistress Ogilvie made that remark,” replied the Reverend Ronald,
“she had no idea that it would ever touch the shoulders of the martyred
Sir Patrick Spens. Now, I happen to love—”
Francesca hung out a scarlet flag in each cheek, and I was about to say,
‘Don’t mind me!’ when he continued—
“As I was saying, I happen to love ‘Sir Patrick Spens,’—it is my
favourite ballad; so, with your permission, I will take the gown, and you
can find something less valuable for a sail!”
I could never understand just why Francesca was so annoyed at being
discovered in our innocent game. Of course she was prone on Mother Earth
and her tresses were much dishevelled, but she looked lovely after all, in
comparison with me, the humble ‘supe’ and lightning-change artist; yet I
kept my temper,—at least I kept it until the Reverend Ronald
observed, after escorting us through the gap in the wall, “By the way,
Miss Hamilton, there was a gentleman from Paris at your cottage, and he is
walking down the road to meet you.”
Walking down the road to meet me, forsooth! Have ministers no brains? The
Reverend Mr. Macdonald had wasted five good minutes with his observations,
introductions, explanations, felicitations, and adorations, and meantime,
regardez-moi, messieurs et mesdames, s’il vous plait! I have been a
Noroway dog, a shipbuilder, and a gallant sailorman; I have been a gurly
sea and a towering gale; I have crawled from beneath broken anchors,
topsails, and mizzenmasts to a strand where I have been a suffering lady
plying a gowd kaim. My skirt of blue drill has been twisted about my
person until it trails in front; my collar is wilted, my cravat untied; I
have lost a stud and a sleeve-link; my hair is in a tangled mass, my face
is scarlet and dusty—and a gentleman from Paris is walking down the
road to meet me!
Chapter XVIII. Paris comes to Pettybaw.
‘There were three ladies in a hall—
With a heigh-ho! and a lily gay,
There came a lord among them all—
As the primrose spreads so sweetly.’
—The Cruel Brother.
Willie Beresford has come to Pettybaw, and that Arcadian village has
received the last touch that makes it Paradise.
We are exploring the neighbourhood together, and whichever path we take we
think it lovelier than the one before. This morning we drove to Pettybaw
Sands, Francesca and Salemina following by the footpath and meeting us on
the shore. It is all so enchantingly fresh and green on one of these rare
bright days: the trig lass bleaching her ‘claes’ on the grass by the burn
near the little stone bridge; the wild partridges whirring about in pairs;
the farm-boy seated on the clean straw in the bottom of his cart, and
cracking his whip in mere wanton joy at the sunshine; the pretty cottages;
and the gardens with rows of currant and gooseberry bushes hanging thick
with fruit that suggests jam and tart in every delicious globule. It is a
love-coloured landscape, we know it full well; and nothing in the fair
world about us is half as beautiful as what we see in each other’s eyes.
Ah, the memories of these first golden mornings together after our long
separation. I shall sprinkle them with lavender and lay them away in that
dim chamber of the heart where we keep precious things. We all know the
chamber. It is fragrant with other hidden treasures, for all of them are
sweet, though some are sad. That is the reason why we put a finger on the
lip and say ‘Hush,’ if we open the door and allow any one to peep in.
We tied the pony by the wayside and alighted: Willie to gather some sprays
of the pink veronica and blue speedwell, I to sit on an old bench and
watch him in happy idleness. The ‘white-blossomed slaes’ sweetened the
air, and the distant hills were gay with golden whin and broom, or flushed
with the purply-red of the bell heather.
We heard the note of the cushats from a neighbouring bush. They used to
build their nests on the ground, so the story goes, but the cows trampled
them. Now they are wiser and build higher, and their cry is supposed to be
a derisive one, directed to their ancient enemies. ‘Come noo, Coo, Coo!
Come noo!’
A hedgehog crept stealthily along the ground, and at a sudden sound curled
himself up like a wee brown bear. There were women working in the fields
near by,—a strange sight to our eyes at first, but nothing unusual
here, where many of them are employed on the farms all the year round,
sowing weeding, planting, even ploughing in the spring, and in winter
working at threshing or in the granary.
An old man, leaning on his staff, came tottering feebly along, and sank
down on the bench beside me. He was dirty, ragged, unkempt, and feeble,
but quite sober, and pathetically anxious for human sympathy.
“I’m achty-sax year auld,’ he maundered, apropos of nothing, “achty-sax
year auld. I’ve seen five lairds o’ Pettybaw, sax placed meenisters, an’
seeven doctors. I was a mason, an’ a stoot mon i’ thae days, but it’s a
meeserable life noo. Wife deid, bairns deid! I sit by my lane, an’ smoke
my pipe, wi’ naebody to gi’e me a sup o’ water. Achty-sax is ower auld for
a mon,—ower auld.”
These are the sharp contrasts of life one cannot bear to face when one is
young and happy. Willie gave him a half-crown and some tobacco for his
pipe, and when the pony trotted off briskly, and we left the shrunken
figure alone on his bench as he was lonely in his life, we kissed each
other and pledged ourselves to look after him as long as we remain in
Pettybaw; for what is love worth if it does not kindle the flames of
spirit, open the gates of feeling, and widen the heart to shelter all the
little loves and great loves that crave admittance?
As we neared the tiny fishing-village on the sands we met a fishwife brave
in her short skirt and eight petticoats, the basket with its two hundred
pound weight on her head, and the auld wife herself knitting placidly as
she walked along. They look superbly strong, these women; but, to be sure,
the ‘weak anes dee,’ as one of them told me.
There was an air of bustle about the little quay,—
‘That joyfu’ din when the boats come in,
When the boats come in sae early;
When the lift is blue an’ the herring-nets fu’,
And the sun glints in a’ things rarely.’
The silvery shoals of fish no longer come so near the shore as they used
in the olden time, for then the kirk bell of St. Monan’s had its tongue
tied when the ‘draive’ was off the coast, lest its knell should frighten
away the shining myriads of the deep.
We climbed the shoulder of a great green cliff until we could sit on the
rugged rocks at the top and overlook the sea. The bluff is well named
Nirly Scaur, and a wild desolate spot it is, with grey lichen-clad
boulders and stunted heather on its summit. In a storm here, the wind
buffets and slashes and scourges one like invisible whips, and below the
sea churns itself into foaming waves, driving its ‘infinite squadrons of
wild white horses’ eternally toward the shore. It was calm and blue
to-day, and no sound disturbed the quiet save the incessant shriek and
scream of the rock birds, the kittiwakes, black-headed gulls, and
guillemots that live on the sides of these high sheer craigs. Here the
mother guillemot lays her single egg, and here, on these narrow shelves of
precipitous rock, she holds it in place with her foot until the warmth of
her leg and overhanging body hatches it into life, when she takes it on
her back and flies down to the sea. Motherhood under difficulties, it
would seem, and the education of the baby guillemot is carried forward on
Spartan principles; for the moment he is out of the shell he is swept
downward hundreds of feet and plunged into a cold ocean, where he can sink
or swim as instinct serves him. In a life so fraught with anxieties,
exposures, and dangers, it is not strange that the guillemots keeps up a
ceaseless clang of excited conversation, a very riot and wrangle of
altercation and argument which the circumstances seem to warrant. The
prospective father is obliged to take turns with the prospective mother,
and hold the one precious egg on the rock while she goes for a fly, a
swim, a bite, and a sup. As there are five hundred other parents on the
same rock, and the eggs look to be only a couple of inches apart, the
scene must be distracting, and I have no doubt we should find, if
statistics were gathered, that thousands of guillemots die of nervous
prostration.
Willie and I interpreted the clamour somewhat as follows:—
[Between parent birds.]
“I am going to take my foot off. Are you ready to put yours on? Don’t be
clumsy! Wait a minute, I’m not ready. I’M NOT READY, I TELL YOU! NOW!!”
[Between rival mothers.]
“Your egg is so close to mine that I can’t breathe—-”
“Move your egg, then, I can’t move mine!”
“You’re sitting so close, I can’t stretch my wings.”
“Neither can I. You’ve got as much room as I have.”
“I shall tumble if you crowd me.”
“Go ahead and tumble, then! There is plenty of room in the sea.”
[From one father to another ceremoniously.]
“Pardon me, but I’m afraid I shoved your wife off the rock last night.”
“Don’t mention it. I remember I shoved off your wife’s mother last year.”
We walked among the tiny whitewashed low-roofed cots, each with its
silver-skinned fishes tacked invitingly against the door-frame to dry,
until we came to my favourite, the corner cottage in the row. It has
beautiful narrow garden strips in front,—solid patches of colour in
sweet gillyflower bushes, from which the kindly housewife plucked a
nosegay for us. Her white columbines she calls ‘granny’s mutches’; and
indeed they are not unlike those fresh white caps. Dear Robbie Burns, ten
inches high in plaster, stands in the sunny window in a tiny box of
blossoming plants surrounded by a miniature green picket fence. Outside,
looming white among the gillyflowers, is Sir Walter, and near him is still
another and a larger bust on a cracked pedestal a foot high, perhaps. We
did not recognise the head at once, and asked the little woman who it was.
“Homer, the graund Greek poet,” she answered cheerily; “an’ I’m to have
anither o’ Burns, as tall as Homer, when my daughter comes hame frae
E’nbro’.”
If the shade of Homer keeps account of his earthly triumphs, I think he is
proud of his place in that humble Scotchwoman’s gillyflower garden, with
his head under the drooping petals of granny’s white mutches.
What do you think her ‘mon’ is called in the village! John o’ Mary! But he
is not alone in his meekness, for there are Jock o’ Meg, Willie o’ Janet,
Jem o’ Tibby, and a dozen others. These primitive fishing-villages are the
places where all the advanced women ought to congregate, for the wife is
head of the house; the accountant, the treasurer, the auditor, the
chancellor of the exchequer; and though her husband does catch the fish
for her to sell, that is accounted apparently as a detail too trivial for
notice.
When we passed Mary’s cottage on our way to the sands next day, Burns’s
head had been accidentally broken off by the children, and we felt as
though we had lost a friend; but Scotch thrift, and loyalty to the dear
Ploughman Poet, came to the rescue, and when we returned, Robert’s plaster
head had been glued to his body. He smiled at us again from between the
two scarlet geraniums, and a tendril of ivy had been gently curled about
his neck to hide the cruel wound.
After such long, lovely mornings as this, there is a late luncheon under
the shadow of a rock with Salemina and Francesca, an idle chat, or the
chapter of a book, and presently Lady Ardmore and her daughter Elizabeth
drive down to the sands. They are followed by Robin Anstruther, Jamie, and
Ralph on bicycles, and before long the stalwart figure of Ronald Macdonald
appears in the distance, just in time for a cup of tea, which we brew in
Lady Ardmore’s bath-house on the beach.
Chapter XIX. Fowk o’ Fife.
‘To you I sing, in simple Scottish lays,
The lowly train in life’s sequester’d scene;
The native feelings strong, the guileless ways.’
The Cotter’s Saturday Night.
We have lived in Pettybaw a very short time, but I see that we have
already made an impression upon all grades of society. This was not our
intention. We gave Edinburgh as our last place of residence, with the view
of concealing our nationality, until such time as we should choose to
declare it; that is, when public excitement with regard to our rental of
the house in the loaning should have lapsed into a state of indifference.
And yet, modest, economical, and commonplace as has been the
administration of our affairs, our method of life has evidently been
thought unusual, and our conduct not precisely the conduct of other summer
visitors. Even our daily purchases, in manner, in number, and in
character, seem to be looked upon as eccentric, for whenever we leave a
shop, the relatives of the greengrocer, flesher, draper, whoever it may
be, bound downstairs, surround him in an eager circle, and inquire the
latest news.
In an unwise moment we begged the draper’s wife to honour us with a visit
and explain the obliquities of the kitchen range and the tortuosities of
the sink-spout to Miss Grieve. While our landlady was on the premises, I
took occasion to invite her up to my own room, with a view of seeing
whether my mattress of pebbles and iron-filings could be supplemented by
another of shavings or straw, or some material less provocative of bodily
injuries. She was most sympathetic, persuasive, logical and after the
manner of her kind proved to me conclusively that the trouble lay with the
too-saft occupant of the bed, not with the bed itself, and gave me
statistics with regard to the latter which established its reputation and
at the same moment destroyed my own.
She looked in at the various doors casually as she passed up and down the
stairs,—all save that of the dining-room, which Francesca had
prudently locked to conceal the fact that we had covered the family
portraits,—and I noticed at the time that her face wore an
expression of mingled grief and astonishment. It seemed to us afterward
that there was a good deal more passing up and down the loaning than when
we first arrived. At dusk especially, small processions of children and
young people walked by our cottage and gave shy glances at the windows.
Finding Miss Grieve in an unusually amiable mood, I inquired the probable
cause of this phenomenon. She would not go so far as to give any judicial
opinion, but offered a few conjectures.
It might be the tirling-pin; it might be the white satin ribbons on the
curtains; it might be the guitars and banjos; it might be the bicycle
crate; it might be the profusion of plants; it might be the continual
feasting and revelry; it might be the blazing fires in a Pettybaw summer.
She thought a much more likely reason, however, was because it had become
known in the village that we had moved every stick of furniture in the
house out of its accustomed place and taken the dressing-tables away from
the windows,—‘the windys,’ she called them.
I discussed this matter fully with Mr. Macdonald later on. He laughed
heartily, but confessed, with an amused relish of his national
conservatism, that to his mind there certainly was something radical,
advanced, and courageous in taking a dressing-table away from its place,
back to the window, and putting it anywhere else in a room. He would be
frank, he said, and acknowledge that it suggested an undisciplined and
lawless habit of thought, a disregard for authority, a lack of reverence
for tradition, and a riotous and unbridled imagination.
This view of the matter gave us exquisite enjoyment.
“But why?” I asked laughingly. “The dressing-table is not a sacred object,
even to a woman. Why treat it with such veneration? Where there is but one
good light, and that immediately in front of the window, there is every
excuse for the British custom, but when the light is well diffused, why
not place the table where-ever it looks well?”
“Ah, but it doesn’t look well anywhere but back to the window,” said Mr.
Macdonald artlessly. “It belongs there, you see; it has probably been
there since the time of Malcolm Canmore, unless Margaret was too pious to
look in a mirror. With your national love of change, you cannot conceive
how soothing it is to know that whenever you enter your gate and glance
upward, you will always see the curtains parted, and between them, like an
idol in a shrine, the ugly wooden back of a little oval or oblong
looking-glass. It gives one a sense of permanence in a world where all is
fleeting.”
The public interest in our doings seems to be entirely of a friendly
nature, and if our neighbours find a hundredth part of the charm and
novelty in us that we find in them, they are fortunate indeed, and we
cheerfully sacrifice our privacy on the altar of the public good.
A village in Scotland is the only place I can fancy where housekeeping
becomes an enthralling occupation. All drudgery disappears in a rosy glow
of unexpected, unique, and stimulating conditions. I would rather
superintend Miss Grieve, and cause the light of amazement to gleam ten
times daily in her humid eye, than lead a cotillion with Willie Beresford.
I would rather do the marketing for our humble breakfasts and teas, or
talk over the day’s luncheons and dinners with Mistress Brodie of the
Pettybaw Inn and Posting Establishment, than go to the opera.
Salemina and Francesca do not enjoy it all quite as intensely as I, so
they considerately give me the lion’s share. Every morning, after an
exhilarating interview with the Niobe of our kitchen (who thinks me
irresponsible, and prays Heaven in her heart I be no worse), I put on my
goloshes, take my umbrella, and trudge up and down the little streets and
lanes on real and, if need be, imaginary errands. The Duke of Wellington
said, ‘When fair in Scotland, always carry an umbrella; when it rains,
please yourself,’ and I sometimes agree with Stevenson’s shivering
statement, ‘Life does not seem to me to be an amusement adapted to this
climate.’ I quoted this to the doctor yesterday, but he remarked with some
surprise that he had not missed a day’s golfing for weeks. The chemist
observed as he handed me a cake of soap, ‘Won’erful blest in weather, we
are, mam,’ simply because, the rain being unaccompanied with high wind,
one was enabled to hold up an umbrella without having it turned inside
out. When it ceased dripping for an hour at noon, the greengrocer said
cheerily, ‘Another grand day, mam!’ I assented, though I could not for the
life of me remember when the last one occurred. However, dreary as the
weather may be, one cannot be dull when doing one’s morning round of
shopping in Pettybaw or Strathdee. I have only to give you thumb-nail
sketches of our favourite tradespeople to convince you of that fact.
. . . .
We bought our first groceries of Mrs. Robert Phin, of Strathdee, simply
because she is an inimitable conversationalist. She is expansive, too,
about family matters, and tells us certain of her ‘mon’s’ faults which it
would be more seemly to keep in the safe shelter of her own bosom.
Rab takes a wee drappie too much, it appears, and takes it so often that
he has little time to earn an honest penny for his family. This is bad
enough; but the fact that Mrs. Phin has been twice wed before, and that in
each case she innocently chose a ne’er-do-weel for a mate, makes her a
trifle cynical. She told me that she had laid twa husbands in the
kirk-yard near which her little shop stands, and added cheerfully, as I
made some sympathetic response, ‘An’ I hope it’ll no’ be lang afore I box
Rab!’
Salemina objects to the shop because it is so disorderly. Soap and sugar,
tea and bloaters, starch and gingham, lead pencils and sausages, lie side
by side cosily. Boxes of pins are kept on top of kegs of herrings. Tins of
coffee are distributed impartially anywhere and everywhere, and the bacon
sometimes reposes in a glass case with small-wares and findings, out of
the reach of Alexander’s dogs.
Alexander is one of a brood, or perhaps I should say three broods, of
children which wander among the barrels and boxes and hams and winceys
seeking what they may devour,—a handful of sugar, a prune, or a
sweetie.
We often see the bairns at their luncheon or dinner in a little room just
off the shop, Alexander the Small always sitting or kneeling on a
‘creepie,’ holding his plate down firmly with the left hand and eating
with the right, whether the food be fish, porridge, or broth. In the Phin
family the person who does not hold his plate down runs the risk of losing
it to one of the other children or to the dogs, who, with eager eye and
reminding paw, gather round the hospitable board, licking their chops
hopefully.
I enjoy these scenes very much, but, alas! I can no longer witness them as
often as formerly.
This morning Mrs. Phin greeted me with some embarrassment.
“Maybe ye’ll no’ ken me,” she said, her usually clear speech a little
blurred. “It’s the teeth. I’ve mislaid ‘em somewhere. I paid far too much
siller for ‘em to wear ‘em ilka day. Sometimes I rest ‘em in the teabox to
keep ‘em awa’ frae the bairns, but I canna find ‘em theer. I’m thinkin’
maybe they’ll be in the rice, but I’ve been ower thrang to luik!”
This anecdote was too rich to keep to myself, but its unconscious humour
made no impression upon Salemina, who insisted upon the withdrawal of our
patronage. I have tried to persuade her that, whatever may be said of tea
and rice, we run no risk in buying eggs; but she is relentless.
. . . .
The kirkyard where Rab’s two predecessors have been laid, and where Rab
will lie when Mrs. Phin has ‘boxed’ him, is a sleepy little place set on a
gentle slope of ground, softly shaded by willow and yew trees. It is
enclosed by a stone wall, into which an occasional ancient tombstone is
built, its name and date almost obliterated by stress of time and weather.
We often walk through its quiet, myrtle-bordered paths on our way to the
other end of the village, where Mrs. Bruce, the flesher, keeps an
unrivalled assortment of beef and mutton. The headstones, many of them
laid flat upon the graves, are interesting to us because of their quaint
inscriptions, in which the occupation of the deceased is often stated with
modest pride and candour. One expects to see the achievements of the
soldier, the sailor, or the statesman carved in the stone that marks his
resting-place, but to our eyes it is strange enough to read that the
subject of eulogy was a plumber, tobacconist, maker of golf-balls, or a
golf champion; in which latter case there is a spirited etching or
bas-relief of the dead hero, with knickerbockers, cap, and clubs complete.
There, too, lies Thomas Loughead, Hairdresser, a profession far too little
celebrated in song and story. His stone is a simple one, and bears merely
the touching tribute:—
He was lovely and pleasant in his life,
the inference being, to one who knows a line of Scripture, that in his
death he was not divided.
These kirkyard personalities almost lead one to believe in the
authenticity of the British tradesman’s epitaph, wherein his
practical-minded relict stated that the ‘bereaved widow would continue to
carry on the tripe and trotter business at the old stand.’
. . . .
One day when we were walking through the little village of Strathdee we
turned the corner of a quiet side street and came suddenly upon something
altogether strange and unexpected.
A stone cottage of the everyday sort stood a trifle back from the road and
bore over its front door a sign announcing that Mrs. Bruce, Flesher,
carried on her business within; and indeed one could look through the
windows and see ruddy joints hanging from beams, and piles of
pink-and-white steaks and chops lying neatly on the counter, crying,
‘Come, eat me!’ Nevertheless, one’s first glance would be arrested neither
by Mrs Bruce’s black-and-gold sign, nor by the enticements of her
stock-in-trade, because one’s attention is rapped squarely between the
eyes by an astonishing shape that arises from the patch of lawn in front
of the cottage, and completely dominates the scene. Imagine yourself face
to face with the last thing you would expect to see in a modest front
dooryard,—the figurehead of a ship, heroic in size, gorgeous in
colour, majestic in pose! A female personage it appears to be from the
drapery, which is the only key the artist furnishes as to sex, and a
queenly female withal, for she wears a crown at least a foot high, and
brandishes a forbidding sceptre. All this seen from the front, but the
rear view discloses the fact that the lady terminates in the tail of a
fish which wriggles artistically in mid-air and is of a brittle sort, as
it has evidently been thrice broken and glued together.
Mrs Bruce did not leave us long in suspense, but obligingly came out,
partly to comment on the low price of mutton and partly to tell the tale
of the mammoth mermaid. By rights, of course, Mrs. Bruce’s husband should
have been the gallant captain of a bark which foundered at sea and sent
every man to his grave on the ocean-bed. The ship’s figurehead should have
been discovered by some miracle, brought to the sorrowing widow, and set
up in the garden in eternal remembrance of the dear departed. This was the
story in my mind, but as a matter of fact the rude effigy was wrought by
Mrs. Bruce’s father for a ship to be called the Sea Queen, but by some
mischance, ship and figurehead never came together, and the old
wood-carver left it to his daughter, in lieu of other property. It has not
been wholly unproductive, Mrs. Bruce fancies, for the casual passers-by,
like those who came to scoff and remained to pray, go into the shop to ask
questions about the Sea Queen and buy chops out of courtesy and gratitude.
. . . .
On our way to the bakery, which is a daily walk with us, we always glance
at a little cot in a grassy lane just off the fore street. In one half of
this humble dwelling Mrs. Davidson keeps a slender stock of shop-worn
articles,—pins, needles, threads, sealing-wax, pencils, and sweeties
for the children, all disposed attractively upon a single shelf behind the
window.
Across the passage, close to the other window, sits day after day an old
woman of eight-six summers who has lost her kinship with the present and
gone back to dwell for ever in the past. A small table stands in front of
her rush-bottomed chair, the old family Bible rests upon it, and in front
of the Bible are always four tiny dolls, with which the trembling old
fingers play from morning till night. They are cheap, common little
puppets, but she robes and disrobes them with tenderest care. They are put
to bed upon the Bible, take their walks along its time-worn pages, are
married on it, buried on it, and the direst punishment they ever receive
is to be removed from its sacred covers and temporarily hidden beneath the
dear old soul’s black alpaca apron. She is quite happy with her treasures
on week-days; but on Sundays—alas and alas! the poor old dame sits
in her lonely chair with the furtive tears dropping on her wrinkled
cheeks, for it is a God-fearing household, and it is neither lawful nor
seemly to play with dolls on the Sawbath!
. . . .
Mrs. Nicolson is the presiding genius of the bakery, she is more—she
is the bakery itself. A Mr. Nicolson there is, and he is known to be the
baker, but he dwells in the regions below the shop and only issues at rare
intervals, beneath the friendly shelter of a huge tin tray filled with
scones and baps.
If you saw Mrs. Nicolson’s kitchen with the firelight gleaming on its
bright copper, its polished candlesticks, and its snowy floor, you would
think her an admirable housewife, but you would get no clue to those
shrewd and masterful traits of character which reveal themselves chiefly
behind the counter.
Miss Grieve had purchased of Mrs. Nicolson a quarter section of very
appetising ginger-cake to eat with our afternoon tea, and I stepped in to
buy more. She showed me a large round loaf for two shillings.
“No,” I objected, “I cannot use a whole loaf, thank you. We eat very
little at a time, and like it perfectly fresh. I wish a small piece such
as my maid bought the other day.”
Then ensued a discourse which I cannot render in the vernacular, more’s
the pity, though I understood it all too well for my comfort. The
substance of it was this: that she couldna and wouldna tak’ it in hand to
give me a quarter section of cake when the other three-quarters might gae
dry in the bakery; that the reason she sold the small piece on the former
occasion was that her daughter, her son-in-law, and their three children
came from Ballahoolish to visit her, and she gave them a high tea with no
expense spared; that at this function they devoured three-fourths of a
ginger-cake, and just as she was mournfully regarding the remainder my
servant came in and took it off her hands; that she had kept a bakery for
thirty years and her mother before her, and never had a two-shilling
ginger-cake been sold in pieces before, nor was it likely ever to occur
again; that if I, under Providence, so to speak, had been the fortunate
gainer by the transaction, why not eat my six penny-worth in solemn
gratitude once for all, and not expect a like miracle to happen the next
week? And finally, that two-shilling ginger-cakes were, in the very nature
of things, designed for large families; and it was the part of wisdom for
small families to fix their affections on something else, for she couldna
and wouldna tak’ it in hand to cut a rare and expensive article for a
small customer.
The torrent of logic was over, and I said humbly that I would take the
whole loaf.
“Verra weel, mam,” she responded more affably, “thank you kindly; no, I
couldna tak’ it in hand to sell six pennyworth of that ginger-cake and let
one-and-sixpence worth gae dry in the bakery.—A beautiful day, mam!
Won’erful blest in weather ye are! Let me open your umbrella for you,
mam!”
. . . .
David Robb is the weaver of Pettybaw. All day long he sits at his
old-fashioned hand-loom, which, like the fruit of his toil and the dear
old greybeard himself, belongs to a day that is past and gone.
He might have work enough to keep an apprentice busy, but where would he
find a lad sufficiently behind the times to learn a humble trade now
banished to the limbo of superseded, almost forgotten things?
His home is but a poor place, but the rough room in which he works is big
enough to hold a deal of sweet content. It is cheery enough, too, to
attract the Pettybaw weans, who steal in on wet days and sit on the floor
playing with the thrums, or with bits of coloured ravellings. Sometimes
when they have proved themselves wise and prudent little virgins, they are
even allowed to touch the hanks of pink and yellow and blue yarn that lie
in rainbow-hued confusion on the long deal table.
All this time the ‘heddles’ go up and down, up and down, with their
ceaseless clatter, and David throws the shuttle back and forth as he
weaves his old-fashioned winceys.
We have grown to be good friends, David and I, and I have been permitted
the signal honour of painting him at his work.
The loom stands by an eastern window, and the rare Pettybaw sunshine
filters through the branches of a tree, shines upon the dusty
window-panes, and throws a halo round David’s head that he well deserves
and little suspects. In my foreground sit Meg and Jean and Elspeth playing
with thrums and wearing the fruit of David’s loom in their gingham frocks.
David himself sits on his wooden bench behind the maze of cords that form
the ‘loom harness.’
The snows of seventy winters powder his hair and beard. His spectacles are
often pushed back on his kindly brow, but no glass could wholly obscure
the clear integrity and steadfast purity of his eyes; and as for his
smile, I have not the art to paint that! It holds in solution so many
sweet though humble virtues of patience, temperance, self-denial, honest
endeavour, that my brush falters in the attempt to fix the radiant whole
upon the canvas. Fashions come and go, modern improvements transform the
arts and trades, manual skill gives way to the cunning of the machine, but
old David Robb, after more than fifty years of toil, still sits at his
hand-loom and weaves his winceys for the Pettybaw bairnies.
David has small book-learning, so he tells me; and indeed he had need to
tell me, for I should never have discovered it myself,—one misses it
so little when the larger things are all present!
A certain summer visitor in Pettybaw (a compatriot of ours, by the way)
bought a quantity of David’s orange-coloured wincey, and finding that it
wore like iron, wished to order more. She used the word ‘reproduce’ in her
telegram, as there was one pattern and one colour she specially liked.
Perhaps the context was not illuminating, but at any rate the word
‘reproduce’ was not in David’s vocabulary, and putting back his spectacles
he told me his difficulty in deciphering the exact meaning of his
fine-lady patron. He called at the Free Kirk manse,—the meenister
was no’ at hame; then to the library,—it was closed; then to the
Estaiblished manse,—the meenister was awa’. At last he obtained a
glance at the schoolmaster’s dictionary, and turning to ‘reproduce’ found
that it meant ‘nought but mak’ ower again’;—and with an amused smile
at the bedevilments of language he turned once more to his loom and I to
my canvas.
Notwithstanding his unfamiliarity with ‘langnebbit’ words, David has
absorbed a deal of wisdom in his quiet life; though so far as I can see,
his only books have been the green tree outside his window, a glimpse of
the distant ocean, and the toil of his hands.
But I sometimes question if as many scholars are not made as marred in
this wise, for—to the seeing eye—the waving leaf and the far
sea, the daily task, one’s own heart-beats, and one’s neighbour’s,—these
teach us in good time to interpret Nature’s secrets, and man’s, and God’s
as well.
Chapter XX. A Fifeshire tea-party.
‘The knights they harpit in their bow’r,
The ladyes sew’d and sang;
The mirth that was in that chamber
Through all the place it rang.’
Rose the Red and White Lily.
Tea at Rowardennan Castle is an impressive and a delightful function. It
is served by a ministerial-looking butler and a just-ready-to-be-ordained
footman. They both look as if they had been nourished on the Thirty-Nine
Articles, but they know their business as well as if they had been trained
in heathen lands,—which is saying a good deal, for everybody knows
that heathen servants wait upon one with idolatrous solicitude. However,
from the quality of the cheering beverage itself down to the thickness of
the cream, the thinness of the china, the crispness of the toast, and the
plummyness of the cake, tea at Rowardennan Castle is perfect in every
detail.
The scones are of unusual lightness, also. I should think they would
scarcely weigh more than four, perhaps even five, to a pound; but I am
aware that the casual traveller, who eats only at hotels, and never has
the privilege of entering feudal castles, will be slow to believe this
estimate, particularly just after breakfast.
Salemina always describes a Scotch scone as an aspiring but unsuccessful
soda-biscuit of the New England sort. Stevenson, in writing of that dense
black substance, inimical to life, called Scotch bun, says that the
patriotism that leads a Scotsman to eat it will hardly desert him in any
emergency. Salemina thinks that the scone should be bracketed with the bun
(in description, of course, never in the human stomach), and says that, as
a matter of fact, ‘th’ unconquer’d Scot’ of old was not only clad in a
shirt of mail, but well fortified within when he went forth to warfare
after a meal of oatmeal and scones. She insists that the spear which would
pierce the shirt of mail would be turned aside and blunted by the ordinary
scone of commerce; but what signifies the opinion of a woman who eats
sugar on her porridge?
Considering the air of liberal hospitality that hangs about the castle
tea-table, I wonder that our friends do not oftener avail themselves of
its privileges and allow us to do so; but on all dark, foggy, or inclement
days, or whenever they tire of the sands, everybody persists in taking tea
at Bide-a-Wee Cottage.
We buy our tea of the Pettybaw grocer, some of our cups are cracked, the
teapot is of earthenware, Miss Grieve disapproves of all social
tea-fuddles, and shows it plainly when she brings in the tray, and the
room is so small that some of us overflow into the hall or the garden; it
matters not; there is some fatal charm in our humble hospitality. At four
o’clock one of us is obliged to be, like Sister Anne, on the housetop; and
if company approaches, she must descend and speed to the plumber’s for six
pennyworth extra of cream. In most well-ordered British households Miss
Grieve would be requested to do this speeding, but both her mind and her
body move too slowly for such domestic crises; and then, too, her temper
has to be kept as unruffled as possible, so that she will cut the bread
and butter thin. This she generally does if she has not been ‘fair
doun-hadden wi’ wark’; but the washing of her own spinster cup and plate,
together with the incident sighs and groans, occupies her till so late an
hour that she is not always dressed for callers.
Willie and I were reading The Lady of the Lake the other day, in the back
garden, surrounded by the verdant leafage of our own kale-yard. It is a
pretty spot when the sun shines, a trifle domestic in its air, perhaps,
but restful: Miss Grieve’s dish-towels and aprons drying on the currant
bushes, the cat playing with a mutton-bone or a fish-tail on the grass,
and the little birds perching on the rims of our wash-boiler and
water-buckets. It can be reached only by way of the kitchen, which
somewhat lessens its value as a pleasure-ground or a rustic retreat, but
Willie and I retire there now and then for a quiet chat.
On this particular occasion Willie was declaiming the exciting verses
where Fitz-James and Murdoch are crossing the stream
‘That joins Loch Katrine to Achray,’
where the crazed Blanche of Devan first appears:—
‘All in the Trosachs’ glen was still,
Noontide was sleeping on the hill:
Sudden his guide whoop’d loud and high—
“Murdoch! was that a signal cry?”’
“It was indeed,” said Francesca, appearing suddenly at an upper window
overhanging the garden. “Pardon this intrusion, but the Castle people are
here,” she continued in what is known as a stage whisper,—that is,
one that can be easily heard by a thousand persons,—“the Castle
people and the ladies from Pettybaw House; and Mr. Macdonald is coming
down the loaning; but Calamity Jane is making her toilet in the kitchen,
and you cannot take Mr. Beresford through into the sitting-room at
present. She says this hoose has so few conveniences that it’s ‘fair
sickenin’.’”
“How long will she be?” queried Mr. Beresford anxiously, putting The Lady
of the Lake in his pocket, and pacing up and down between the rows of
cabbages.
“She has just begun. Whatever you do, don’t unsettle her temper, for she
will have to prepare for eight to-day. I will send Mr. Macdonald and Miss
Macrae to the bakery for gingerbread, to gain time, and possibly I can
think of a way to rescue you. If I can’t, are you tolerably comfortable?
Perhaps Miss Grieve won’t mind Penelope, and she can come through the
kitchen any time and join us; but naturally you don’t want to be
separated, that’s the worst of being engaged. Of course I can lower your
tea in a tin bucket, and if it should rain I can throw out umbrellas.
Would you like your golf-caps, Pen? ‘Won’erful blest in weather ye are,
mam!’ The situation is not so bad as it might be,” she added consolingly,
“because in case Miss Grieve’s toilet should last longer than usual, your
wedding need not be indefinitely postponed, for Mr. Macdonald can marry
you from this window.”
Here she disappeared, and we had scarcely time to take in the full humour
of the affair before Robin Anstruther’s laughing eyes appeared over the
top of the high brick wall that protects our garden on three sides.
“Do not shoot,” said he. “I am not come to steal the fruit, but to succour
humanity in distress. Miss Monroe insisted that I should borrow the inn
ladder. She thought a rescue would be much more romantic than waiting for
Miss Grieve. Everybody is coming out to witness it, at least all your
guests,—there are no strangers present,—and Miss Monroe is
already collecting sixpence a head for the entertainment, to be given, she
says, for your dear Friar’s sustenation fund.”
He was now astride of the wall, and speedily lifted the ladder to our
side, where it leaned comfortably against the stout branches of the
draper’s peach vine. Willie ran nimbly up the ladder and bestrode the
wall. I followed, first standing, and then decorously sitting down on the
top of it. Mr. Anstruther pulled up the ladder, and replaced it on the
side of liberty; then he descended, then Willie, and I last of all, amidst
the acclamations of the onlookers, a select company of six or eight
persons.
When Miss Grieve formally entered the sitting-room bearing the tea-tray,
she was buskit braw in black stuff gown, clean apron, and fresh cap
trimmed with purple ribbons, under which her white locks were neatly
dressed.
She deplored the coolness of the tea, but accounted for it to me in an
aside by the sickening quality of Mrs. Sinkler’s coals and Mr. Macbrose’s
kindling-wood, to say nothing of the insulting draft in the draper’s
range. When she left the room, I suppose she was unable to explain the
peals of laughter that rang through our circumscribed halls.
Lady Ardmore insists that the rescue was the most unique episode she ever
witnessed, and says that she never understood America until she made our
acquaintance. I persuaded her that this was fallacious reasoning; that
while she might understand us by knowing America, she could not possibly
reverse this mental operation and be sure of the result. The ladies of
Pettybaw House said that the occurrence was as Fifish as anything that
ever happened in Fife. The kingdom of Fife is noted, it seems, for its
‘doocots [dovecots] and its daft lairds,’ and to be eccentric and Fifish
are one and the same thing. Thereupon Francesca told Mr. Macdonald a story
she heard in Edinburgh, to the effect that when a certain committee or
council was quarrelling as to which of certain Fifeshire towns should be
the seat of a projected lunatic asylum, a new resident arose and suggested
that the building of a wall round the kingdom of Fife would solve the
difficulty, settle all disputes, and give sufficient room for the lunatics
to exercise properly.
This is the sort of tale that a native can tell with a genial chuckle, but
it comes with poor grace from an American lady sojourning in Fife.
Francesca does not mind this, however, as she is at present avenging fresh
insults to her own beloved country.
Chapter XXI. International bickering.
With mimic din of stroke and ward
The broadsword upon target jarr’d.
The Lady of the Lake.
Robin Anstruther was telling stories at the tea-table.
“I got acquainted with an American girl in rather a queer sort of way,” he
said, between cups. “It was in London, on the Duke of York’s wedding-day.
I’m rather a tall chap, you see, and in the crowd somebody touched me on
the shoulder, and a plaintive voice behind me said, ‘You’re such a big
man, and I am so little, will you please help me to save my life? My
mother was separated from me in the crowd somewhere as we were trying to
reach the Berkeley, and I don’t know what to do.’ I was a trifle
nonplussed, but I did the best I could. She was a tiny thing, in a
marvellous frock and a flowery hat and a silver girdle and chatelaine. In
another minute she spied a second man, an officer, a full head taller than
I am, broad shoulders, splendidly put up altogether. Bless me! if she
didn’t turn to him and say, ‘Oh, you’re so nice and big, you’re even
bigger than this other gentleman, and I need you both in this dreadful
crush. If you’ll be good enough to stand on either side of me, I shall be
awfully obliged.’ We exchanged amused glances of embarrassment over her
blonde head, but there was no resisting the irresistible. She was a small
person, but she had the soul of a general, and we obeyed orders. We stood
guard over her little ladyship for nearly an hour, and I must say she
entertained us thoroughly, for she was as clever as she was pretty. Then I
got her a seat in one of the windows of my club, while the other man,
armed with a full description, went out to hunt up the mother; and, by
Jove! he found her, too. She would have her mother, and her mother she
had. They were awfully jolly people; they came to luncheon in my chambers
at the Albany afterwards, and we grew to be great friends.”
“I dare say she was an English girl masquerading,” I remarked facetiously.
“What made you think her an American?”
“Oh, her general appearance and accent, I suppose.”
“Probably she didn’t say Barkley,” observed Francesca cuttingly; “she
would have been sure to commit that sort of solecism.”
“Why, don’t you say Barkley in the States?”
“Certainly not; we never call them the States, and with us c-l-e-r-k
spells clerk, and B-e-r-k Berk.”
“How very odd!” remarked Mr. Anstruther.
“No odder than you saying Bark, and not half as odd as your calling it
Albany,” I interpolated, to help Francesca.
“Quite so,” said Mr. Anstruther; “but how do you say Albany in America?”
“Penelope and I always call it Allbany,” responded Francesca
nonsensically, “but Salemina, who has been much in England, always calls
it Albany.”
This anecdote was the signal for Miss Ardmore to remark (apropos of her
own discrimination and the American accent) that hearing a lady ask for a
certain med’cine in a chemist’s shop, she noted the intonation, and
inquired of the chemist, when the fair stranger had retired, if she were
not an American. “And she was!” exclaimed the Honourable Elizabeth
triumphantly. “And what makes it the more curious, she had been over here
twenty years, and of course, spoke English quite properly.”
In avenging fancied insults, it is certainly more just to heap punishment
on the head of the real offender than upon his neighbour, and it is a
trifle difficult to decide why Francesca should chastise Mr. Macdonald for
the good-humoured sins of Mr. Anstruther and Miss Ardmore; yet she does
so, nevertheless.
The history of these chastisements she recounts in the nightly half-hour
which she spends with me when I am endeavouring to compose myself for
sleep. Francesca is fluent at all times, but once seated on the foot of my
bed she becomes eloquent!
“It all began with his saying—”
This is her perennial introduction, and I respond as invariably, “What
began?”
“Oh, to-day’s argument with Mr. Macdonald. It was a literary quarrel this
afternoon.”
“‘Fools rush in—‘” I quoted.
“There is a good deal of nonsense in that old saw,” she interrupted; “at
all events, the most foolish fools I have ever known stayed still and
didn’t do anything. Rushing shows a certain movement of the mind, even if
it is in the wrong direction. However, Mr. Macdonald is both opinionated
and dogmatic, but his worst enemy could never call him a fool.”
“I didn’t allude to Mr. Macdonald.”
“Don’t you suppose I know to whom you alluded, dear? Is not your style so
simple, frank, and direct that a wayfaring girl can read it and not err
therein? No, I am not sitting on your feet, and it is not time to go to
sleep; I wonder you do not tire of making those futile protests. As a
matter of fact, we began this literary discussion yesterday morning, but
were interrupted; and knowing that it was sure to come up again, I
prepared for it with Salemina. She furnished the ammunition, so to speak,
and I fired the guns.”
“You always make so much noise with blank cartridges I wonder you ever
bother about real shot,” I remarked.
“Penelope, how can you abuse me when I am in trouble? Well, Mr. Macdonald
was prating, as usual, about the antiquity of Scotland and its aeons of
stirring history. I am so weary of the venerableness of this country. How
old will it have to be, I wonder, before it gets used to it? If it’s the
province of art to conceal art, it ought to be the province of age to
conceal age, and it generally is. ‘Everything doesn’t improve with years,’
I observed sententiously.
“‘For instance?’ he inquired.
“Of course you know how that question affected me! How I do dislike an
appetite for specific details! It is simply paralysing to a good
conversation. Do you remember that silly game in which some one points a
stick at you and says, ‘Beast, bird, or fish,—BEAST!’ and you have
to name one while he counts ten? If a beast has been requested, you can
think of one fish and two birds, but no beast. If he says ‘FISH,’ all the
beasts in the universe stalk through your memory, but not one finny,
sealy, swimming thing! Well, that is the effect of ‘For instance?’ on my
faculties. So I stumbled a bit, and succeeded in recalling, as objects
which do not improve with age, mushrooms, women, and chickens, and he was
obliged to agree with me, which nearly killed him. Then I said that
although America is so fresh and blooming that people persist in calling
it young, it is much older than it appears to the superficial eye. There
is no real propriety in dating us as a nation from the Declaration of
Independence in 1776, I said, nor even from the landing of the Pilgrims in
1620; nor, for that matter, from Columbus’s discovery in 1492. It’s my
opinion, I asserted, that some of us had been there thousands of years
before, but nobody had had the sense to discover us. We couldn’t discover
ourselves,—though if we could have foreseen how the sere and yellow
nations of the earth would taunt us with youth and inexperience, we should
have had to do something desperate!”
“That theory must have been very convincing to the philosophic Scots
mind,” I interjected.
“It was; even Mr. Macdonald thought it ingenious. ‘And so,’ I went on, ‘we
were alive and awake and beginning to make history when you Scots were
only bare-legged savages roaming over the hills and stealing cattle. It
was a very bad habit of yours, that cattle-stealing, and one which you
kept up too long.’
“‘No worse a sin than your stealing land from the Indians,’ he said.
“‘Oh yes,’ I answered, ‘because it was a smaller one! Yours was a vice,
and ours a sin; or I mean it would have been a sin had we done it; but in
reality we didn’t steal land; we just TOOK it, reserving plenty for the
Indians to play about on; and for every hunting-ground we took away we
gave them in exchange a serviceable plough, or a school, or a nice Indian
agent, or something. That was land-grabbing, if you like, but it is a
habit you Britishers have still, while we gave it up when we reached years
of discretion.’”
“This is very illuminating,” I interrupted, now thoroughly wide awake,
“but it isn’t my idea of a literary discussion.”
“I am coming to that,” she responded. “It was just at this point that,
goaded into secret fury by my innocent speech about cattle-stealing, he
began to belittle American literature, the poetry especially. Of course he
waxed eloquent about the royal line of poet-kings that had made his
country famous, and said the people who could claim Shakespeare had reason
to be the proudest nation on earth. ‘Doubtless,’ I said. ‘But do you mean
to say that Scotland has any nearer claim upon Shakespeare than we have? I
do not now allude to the fact that in the large sense he is the common
property of the English-speaking world’ (Salemina told me to say that),
‘but Shakespeare died in 1616, and the union of Scotland with England
didn’t come about till 1707, nearly a century afterwards. You really
haven’t anything to do with him! But as for us, we didn’t leave England
until 1620, when Shakespeare had been perfectly dead four years. We took
very good care not to come away too soon. Chaucer and Spenser were dead
too, and we had nothing to stay for!’”
I was obliged to relax here and give vent to a burst of merriment at
Francesca’s absurdities.
“I could see that he had never regarded the matter in that light before,”
she went on gaily, encouraged by my laughter, “but he braced himself for
the conflict, and said ‘I wonder that you didn’t stay a little longer
while you were about it. Milton and Ben Jonson were still alive; Bacon’s
Novum Organum was just coming out; and in thirty or forty years you could
have had L’Allegro, Il Penseroso and Paradise Lost; Newton’s Principia,
too, in 1687. Perhaps these were all too serious and heavy for your
national taste; still one sometimes likes to claim things one cannot fully
appreciate. And then, too, if you had once begun to stay, waiting for the
great things to happen and the great books to be written, you would never
have gone, for there would still have been Browning, Tennyson, and
Swinburne to delay you.’
“‘If we couldn’t stay to see out your great bards, we certainly couldn’t
afford to remain and welcome your minor ones,’ I answered frigidly; ‘but
we wanted to be well out of the way before England united with Scotland,
knowing that if we were uncomfortable as things were, it would be a good
deal worse after the Union; and we had to come home anyway, and start our
own poets. Emerson, Whittier, Longfellow, Holmes, and Lowell had to be
born.’
“‘I suppose they had to be if you had set your mind on it,’ he said,
‘though personally I could have spared one or two on that roll of honour.’
“‘Very probably,’ I remarked, as thoroughly angry now as he intended I
should be. ‘We cannot expect you to appreciate all the American poets;
indeed, you cannot appreciate all of your own, for the same nation doesn’t
always furnish the writers and the readers. Take your precious Browning,
for example! There are hundreds of Browning Clubs in America, and I never
heard of a single one in Scotland.’
“‘No,’ he retorted, ‘I dare say; but there is a good deal in belonging to
a people who can understand him without clubs!’”
“O Francesca!” I exclaimed, sitting bolt upright among my pillows. “How
could you give him that chance! How COULD you! What did you say?”
“I said nothing,” she replied mysteriously. “I did something much more to
the point,—I cried!”
“CRIED?”
“Yes, cried; not rivers and freshets of woe, but small brooks and
streamlets of helpless mortification.”
“What did he do then?”
“Why do you say ‘do’?”
“Oh, I mean ‘say,’ of course. Don’t trifle; go on. What did he say then?”
“There are some things too dreadful to describe,” she answered, and
wrapping her Italian blanket majestically about her she retired to her own
apartment, shooting one enigmatical glance at me as she closed the door.
That glance puzzled me for some time after she left the room. It was as
expressive and interesting a beam as ever darted from a woman’s eye. The
combination of elements involved in it, if an abstract thing may be
conceived as existing in component parts, was something like this:—
One-half, mystery. One-eighth, triumph. One-eighth, amusement.
One-sixteenth, pride. One-sixteenth, shame. One-sixteenth, desire to
confess. One-sixteenth, determination to conceal.
And all these delicate, complex emotions played together in a circle of
arching eyebrow, curving lip, and tremulous chin,—played together,
mingling and melting into one another like fire and snow; bewildering,
mystifying, enchanting the beholder!
If Ronald Macdonald did—I am a woman, but, for one, I can hardly
blame him!
Chapter XXII. Francesca entertains the green-eyed monster.
‘“O has he chosen a bonny bride,
An’ has he clean forgotten me?”
An’ sighing said that gay ladye,
“I would I were in my ain countrie!”’
Lord Beichan.
It rained in torrents; Salemina was darning stockings in the inglenook at
Bide-a-Wee Cottage, and I was reading her a Scotch letter which Francesca
and I had concocted the evening before. I proposed sending the document to
certain chosen spirits in our own country, who were pleased to be
facetious concerning our devotion to Scotland. It contained, in sooth,
little that was new, and still less that was true, for we were confined to
a very small vocabulary which we were obliged to supplement now and then
by a dip into Burns and Allan Ramsay.
Here is the letter:—
Bide-a-Wee Cottage, Pettybaw, East Neuk o’ Fife.
To my trusty fieres,
Mony’s the time I hae ettled to send ye a screed, but there was aye
something that cam’ i’ the gait. It wisna that I couldna be fashed, for
aften hae I thocht o’ ye and my hairt has been wi’ ye mony’s the day.
There’s no’ muckle fowk frae Ameriky hereawa; they’re a’ jist Fife bodies,
and a lass canna get her tongue roun’ their thrapple-taxin’ words ava’, so
it’s like I may een drap a’ the sweetness o’ my good mither-tongue.
‘Tis a dulefu’ nicht, and an awfu’ blash is ragin’ wi’oot. Fanny’s awa’ at
the gowff rinnin’ aboot wi’ a bag o’ sticks after a wee bit ba’, and Sally
and I are hame by oor lane. Laith will the lassie be to weet her bonny
shoon, but lang ere the play’ll be ower she’ll wat her hat aboon. A gust
o’ win’ is skirlin’ the noo, and as we luik ower the faem, the haar is
risin’, weetin’ the green swaird wi’ misty shoo’rs.
Yestreen was a calm simmer gloamin’, sae sweet an’ bonnie that when the
sun was sinkin’ doon ower Pettybaw Sands we daundered ower the muir. As we
cam’ through the scented birks, we saw a trottin’ burnie wimplin’ ‘neath
the white-blossomed slaes and hirplin’ doon the hillside; an’ while a
herd-laddie lilted ower the fernie brae, a cushat cooed leesomely doon i’
the dale. We pit aff oor shoon, sae blithe were we, kilted oor coats a
little aboon the knee, and paidilt i’ the burn, gettin’ geyan weet the
while. Then Sally pu’d the gowans wat wi’ dew an’ twined her bree wi’
tasselled broom, while I had a wee crackie wi’ Tibby Buchan, the flesher’s
dochter frae Auld Reekie. Tibby’s nae giglet gawky like the lave, ye ken,—she’s
a sonsie maid, as sweet as ony hinny pear, wi’ her twa pawky een an’ her
cockernony snooded up fu’ sleek.
We were unco gleg to win hame when a’ this was dune, an’ after steekin’
the door, to sit an’ birsle oor taes at the bit blaze. Mickle thocht we o’
the gentles ayont the sea, an’ sair grat we for a’ frien’s we kent lang
syne in oor ain countree.
Late at nicht, Fanny, the bonny gypsy, cam’ ben the hoose an’ tirled at
the pin of oor bigly bower door, speirin’ for baps and bannocks.
“Hoots, lassie!” cried oot Sally, “th’ auld carline i’ the kitchen is i’
her box-bed, an’ weel aneuch ye ken is lang syne cuddled doon.”
“Oo ay!” said Fanny, strikin’ her curly pow, “then fetch me parritch, an’
dinna be lang wi’ them, for I’ve lickit a Pettybaw lad at the gowff, an’ I
could eat twa guid jints o’ beef gin I had them!”
“Losh girl,” said I, “gie ower makin’ sic a mickle din. Ye ken verra weel
ye’ll get nae parritch the nicht. I’ll rin and fetch ye a ‘piece’ to stap
awee the soun’.”
“Blethers an’ havers!” cried Fanny, but she blinkit bonnily the while, an’
when the tea was weel maskit, she smoored her wrath an’ stappit her mooth
wi’ a bit o’ oaten cake. We aye keep that i’ the hoose, for th’ auld
servant-body is geyan bad at the cookin’, an’ she’s sae dour an’ dowie
that to speak but till her we daur hardly mint.
In sic divairsions pass the lang simmer days in braid Scotland, but I
canna write mair the nicht, for ‘tis the wee sma’ hours ayont the twal’.
Like th’ auld wife’s parrot, ‘we dinna speak muckle, but we’re deevils to
think,’ an’ we’re aye thinkin’ aboot ye. An’ noo I maun leave ye to mak’
what ye can oot o’ this, for I jalouse it’ll pass ye to untaukle the whole
hypothec.
Fair fa’ ye a’! Lang may yer lum reek, an’ may prosperity attend oor clan!
Aye your gude frien’,
Penelope Hamilton.
“It may be very fine,” remarked Salemina judicially, “though I cannot
understand more than half of it.”
“That would also be true of Browning,” I replied. “Don’t you love to see
great ideas looming through a mist of words?”
“The words are misty enough in this case,” she said, “and I do wish you
would not tell the world that I paddle in the burn, or ‘twine my bree wi’
tasselled broom.’ I’m too old to be made ridiculous.”
“Nobody will believe it,” said Francesca, appearing in the doorway. “They
will know it is only Penelope’s havering,” and with this undeserved scoff,
she took her mashie and went golfing—not on the links, on this
occasion, but in our microscopic sitting-room. It is twelve feet square,
and holds a tiny piano, desk, centre-table, sofa, and chairs, but the spot
between the fire-place and the table is Francesca’s favourite
‘putting-green.’ She wishes to become more deadly in the matter of
approaches, and thinks her tee-shots weak; so these two deficiencies she
is trying to make good by home practice in inclement weather. She turns a
tumbler on its side on the floor, and ‘putts’ the ball into it, or at it,
as the case may be, from the opposite side of the room. It is excellent
discipline, and as the tumblers are inexpensive the breakage really does
not matter. Whenever Miss Grieve hears the shivering of glass, she
murmurs, not without reason, ‘It is not for the knowing what they will be
doing next.’
“Penelope, has it ever occurred to you that Elizabeth Ardmore is seriously
interested in Mr. Macdonald?”
Salemina propounded this question to me with the same innocence that a
babe would display in placing a lighted fuse beside a dynamite bomb.
Francesca naturally heard the remark,—although it was addressed to
me,—pricked up her ears, and missed the tumbler by several feet.
It was a simple inquiry, but as I look back upon it from the safe ground
of subsequent knowledge I perceive that it had a certain amount of
influence upon Francesca’s history. The suggestion would have carried no
weight with me for two reasons. In the first place, Salemina is
far-sighted. If objects are located at some distance from her, she sees
them clearly; but if they are under her very nose she overlooks them
altogether, unless they are sufficiently fragrant or audible to address
other senses. This physical peculiarity she carries over into her mental
processes. Her impression of the Disruption movement, for example, would
be lively and distinct, but her perception of a contemporary lover’s
quarrel (particularly if it were fought at her own apron-strings) would be
singularly vague. If she suggested, therefore, that Elizabeth Ardmore was
interested in Mr. Beresford, who is the rightful captive of my bow and
spear, I should be perfectly calm.
My second reason for comfortable indifference is that frequently in
novels, and always in plays, the heroine is instigated to violent jealousy
by insinuations of this sort, usually conveyed by the villain of the
piece, male or female. I have seen this happen so often in the modern
drama that it has long since ceased to be convincing; but though Francesca
has witnessed scores of plays and read hundreds of novels, it did not
apparently strike her as a theatrical or literary suggestion that Lady
Ardmore’s daughter should be in love with Mr. Macdonald. The effect of the
new point of view was most salutary, on the whole. She had come to think
herself the only prominent figure in the Reverend Ronald’s landscape, and
anything more impertinent than her tone with him (unless it is his with
her) I certainly never heard. This criticism, however, relates only to
their public performances, and I have long suspected that their private
conversations are of a kindlier character. When it occurred to her that he
might simply be sharpening his mental sword on her steel, but that his
heart had at last wandered into a more genial climate than she had ever
provided for it, she softened unconsciously; the Scotsman and the American
receded into a truer perspective, and the man and the woman approached
each other with dangerous nearness.
“What shall we do if Francesca and Mr. Macdonald really fall in love with
each other?” asked Salemina, when Francesca had gone into the hall to try
long drives. (There is a good deal of excitement in this, as Miss Grieve
has to cross the passage on her way from the kitchen to the china-closet,
and thus often serves as a reluctant ‘hazard’ or ‘bunker.’)
“Do you mean what should we have done?” I queried.
“Nonsense, don’t be captious! It can’t be too late yet. They have known
each other only a little over two months; when would you have had me
interfere, pray?”
“It depends upon what you expect to accomplish. If you wish to stop the
marriage, interfere in a fortnight or so; if you wish to prevent an
engagement, speak—well, say to-morrow; if, however, you didn’t wish
them to fall in love with each other, you should have kept one of them
away from Lady Baird’s dinner.”
“I could have waited a trifle longer than that,” argued Salemina, “for you
remember how badly they got on at first.”
“I remember you thought so,” I responded dryly; “but I believe Mr.
Macdonald has been interested in Francesca from the outset, partly because
her beauty and vivacity attracted him, partly because he could keep her in
order only by putting his whole mind upon her. On his side, he has
succeeded in piquing her into thinking of him continually, though solely,
as she fancies, for the purpose of crossing swords with him. If they ever
drop their weapons for an instant, and allow the din of warfare to subside
so that they can listen to their own heart-beats, they will discover that
they love each other to distraction.”
“Ye ken mair than’s in the catecheesm,” remarked Salemina, yawning a
little as she put away her darning-ball. “It is pathetic to see you waste
your time painting mediocre pictures, when as a lecturer upon love you
could instruct your thousands.”
“The thousands would never satisfy me,” I retorted, “so long as you
remained uninstructed, for in your single person you would so swell the
sum of human ignorance on that subject that my teaching would be for ever
in vain.”
“Very clever indeed! Well, what will Mr. Monroe say to me when I return to
New York without his daughter, or with his son-in-law?”
“He has never denied Francesca anything in her life; why should he draw
the line at a Scotsman? I am much more concerned about Mr. Macdonald’s
congregation.”
“I am not anxious about that,” said Salemina loyally. “Francesca would be
the life of an Inchcaldy parish.”
“I dare say,” I observed, “but she might be the death of the pastor.”
“I am ashamed of you, Penelope; or I should be if you meant what you say.
She can make the people love her if she tries; when did she ever fail at
that? But with Mr. Macdonald’s talent, to say nothing of his family
connections, he is sure to get a church in Edinburgh in a few years if he
wishes. Undoubtedly, it would not be a great match in a money sense. I
suppose he has a manse and three or four hundred pounds a year.”
“That sum would do nicely for cabs.”
“Penelope, you are flippant!”
“I don’t mean it, dear; it’s only for fun; and it would be so absurd if we
should leave Francesca over here as the presiding genius of an Inchcaldy
parsonage—I mean a manse!”
“It isn’t as if she were penniless,” continued Salemina; “she has fortune
enough to assure her own independence, and not enough to threaten his—the
ideal amount. I hardly think the good Lord’s first intention was to make
her a minister’s wife, but He knows very well that Love is a master
architect. Francesca is full of beautiful possibilities if Mr. Macdonald
is the man to bring them out, and I am inclined to think he is.”
“He has brought out impishness so far,” I objected.
“The impishness is transitory,” she returned, “and I am speaking of
permanent qualities. His is the stronger and more serious nature,
Francesca’s the sweeter and more flexible. He will be the oak-tree, and
she will be the sunshine playing in the branches.”
“Salemina, dear,” I said penitently, kissing her grey hair, “I apologise:
you are not absolutely ignorant about Love, after all, when you call him
the master architect; and that is very lovely and very true about the
oak-tree and the sunshine.”
Chapter XXIII. Ballad revels at Rowardennan.
‘“Love, I maun gang to Edinbrugh,
Love, I maun gang an’ leave thee!”
She sighed right sair, an’ said nae mair
But “O gin I were wi’ ye!”’
Andrew Lammie.
Jean Dalziel came to visit us a week ago, and has put new life into our
little circle. I suppose it was playing ‘Sir Patrick Spens’ that set us
thinking about it, for one warm, idle day when we were all in the Glen we
began a series of ballad-revels, in which each of us assumed a favourite
character. The choice induced so much argument and disagreement that Mr.
Beresford was at last appointed head of the clan; and having announced
himself formally as The Mackintosh, he was placed on the summit of a
hastily arranged pyramidal cairn. He was given an ash wand and a
rowan-tree sword; and then, according to ancient custom, his pedigree and
the exploits of his ancestors were recounted, and he was exhorted to
emulate their example. Now it seems that a Highland chief of the olden
time, being as absolute in his patriarchal authority as any prince, had a
corresponding number of officers attached to his person. He had a
bodyguard, who fought around him in battle, and independent of this he had
a staff of officers who accompanied him wherever he went. These our chief
proceeded to appoint as follows:—
Henchman, Ronald Macdonald; bard, Penelope Hamilton; spokesman or fool,
Robin Anstruther; sword-bearer, Francesca Monroe; piper, Salemina; piper’s
attendant, Elizabeth Ardmore; baggage gillie, Jean Dalziel; running
footman, Ralph; bridle gillie, Jamie; ford gillie, Miss Grieve. The ford
gillie carries the chief across fords only, and there are no fords in the
vicinity; so Mr. Beresford, not liking to leave a member of our household
out of office, thought this the best post for Calamity Jane.
With The Mackintosh on his pyramidal cairn matters went very much better,
and at Jamie’s instigation we began to hold rehearsals for certain
festivities at Rowardennan; for as Jamie’s birthday fell on the eve of the
Queen’s Jubilee, there was to be a gay party at the Castle.
All this occurred days ago, and yesterday evening the ballad-revels came
off, and Rowardennan was a scene of great pageant and splendour. Lady
Ardmore, dressed as the Lady of Inverleith, received the guests, and there
were all manner of tableaux, and ballads in costume, and pantomimes, and a
grand march by the clan, in which we appeared in our chosen roles.
Salemina was Lady Maisry—she whom all the lords of the north
countrie came wooing.
‘But a’ that they could say to her,
Her answer still was “Na.”’
And again:—
‘“O haud your tongues, young men,” she said,
“And think nae mair on me!”’
Mr. Beresford was Lord Beichan, and I was Shusy Pye
‘Lord Beichan was a Christian born,
And such resolved to live and dee,
So he was ta’en by a savage Moor,
Who treated him right cruellie.
The Moor he had an only daughter,
The damsel’s name was Shusy Pye;
And ilka day as she took the air
Lord Beichan’s prison she pass’d by.’
Elizabeth Ardmore was Leezie Lindsay, who kilted her coats o’ green satin
to the knee and was aff to the Hielands so expeditiously when her lover
declared himself to be ‘Lord Ronald Macdonald, a chieftain of high
degree.’
Francesca was Mary Ambree.
‘When captaines couragious, whom death cold not daunte,
Did march to the siege of the citty of Gaunt,
They mustred their souldiers by two and by three,
And the foremost in battle was Mary Ambree.
When the brave sergeant-major was slaine in her sight
Who was her true lover, her joy and delight,
Because he was slaine most treacherouslie,
Then vow’d to avenge him Mary Ambree.’
Brenda Macrae from Pettybaw House was Fairly Fair; Jamie, Sir Patrick
Spens; Ralph, King Alexander of Dunfermline; Mr. Anstruther, Bonnie
Glenlogie, ‘the flower o’ them a’;’ Mr. Macdonald and Miss Dalziel, Young
Hynde Horn and the king’s daughter Jean respectively.
‘“Oh, it’s Hynde Horn fair, and it’s Hynde Horn free;
Oh, where were you born, and in what countrie?”
“In a far distant countrie I was born;
But of home and friends I am quite forlorn.”
Oh, it’s seven long years he served the king,
But wages from him he ne’er got a thing;
Oh, it’s seven long years he served, I ween,
And all for love of the king’s daughter Jean.’
It is not to be supposed that all this went off without any of the
difficulties and heart-burnings that are incident to things dramatic. When
Elizabeth Ardmore chose to be Leezie Lindsay, she asked me to sing the
ballad behind the scenes. Mr. Beresford naturally thought that Mr.
Macdonald would take the opposite part in the tableau, inasmuch as the
hero bears his name; but he positively declined to play Lord Ronald
Macdonald, and said it was altogether too personal.
Mr. Anstruther was rather disagreeable at the beginning, and upbraided
Miss Dalziel for offering to be the king’s daughter Jean to Mr.
Macdonald’s Hynde Horn, when she knew very well he wanted her for Ladye
Jeanie in Glenlogie. (She had meantime confided to me that nothing could
induce her to appear in Glenlogie; it was far too personal.)
Mr. Macdonald offended Francesca by sending her his cast-off gown and
begging her to be Sir Patrick Spens; and she was still more gloomy (so I
imagined) because he had not proffered his six feet of manly beauty for
the part of the captain in Mary Ambree, when the only other person to take
it was Jamie’s tutor. He is an Oxford man and a delightful person, but
very bow-legged; added to that, by the time the rehearsals had ended she
had been obliged to beg him to love some one more worthy than herself, and
did not wish to appear in the same tableau with him, feeling that it was
much too personal.
When the eventful hour came, yesterday, Willie and I were the only actors
really willing to take lovers’ parts, save Jamie and Ralph, who were but
too anxious to play all the characters, whatever their age, sex, colour,
or relations. But the guests knew nothing of these trivial disagreements,
and at ten o’clock last night it would have been difficult to match
Rowardennan Castle for a scene of beauty and revelry. Everything went
merrily till we came to Hynde Horn, the concluding tableau, and the most
effective and elaborate one on the programme. At the very last moment,
when the opening scene was nearly ready, Jean Dalziel fell down a secret
staircase that led from the tapestry chamber into Lady Ardmore’s boudoir,
where the rest of us were dressing. It was a short flight of steps, but as
she held a candle, and was carrying her costume, she fell awkwardly,
spraining her wrist and ankle. Finding that she was not maimed for life,
Lady Ardmore turned with comical and unsympathetic haste to Francesca, so
completely do amateur theatricals dry the milk of kindness in the human
breast.
“Put on these clothes at once,” she said imperiously, knowing nothing of
the volcanoes beneath the surface. “Hynde Horn is already on the stage,
and somebody must be Jean. Take care of Miss Dalziel, girls, and ring for
more maids. Helene, come and dress Miss Monroe; put on her slippers while
I lace her gown; run and fetch more jewels,—more still,—she
can carry off any number; not any rouge, Helene—she has too much
colour now; pull the frock more off the shoulders—it’s a pity to
cover an inch of them; pile her hair higher—here, take my diamond
tiara, child; hurry, Helene, fetch the silver cup and the cake—no,
they are on the stage; take her train, Helene. Miss Hamilton, run and open
the doors ahead of them, please. I won’t go down for this tableau. I’ll
put Miss Dalziel right, and then I’ll slip into the drawing-room, to be
ready for the guests when they come in.”
We hurried breathlessly through an interminable series of rooms and
corridors. I gave the signal to Mr. Beresford, who was nervously waiting
for it in the wings, and the curtain went up on Hynde Horn disguised as
the auld beggar man at the king’s gate. Mr. Beresford was reading the
ballad, and we took up the tableaux at the point where Hynde Horn has come
from a far countrie to see why the diamonds in the ring given him by his
own true love have grown pale and wan. He hears that the king’s daughter
Jean has been married to a knight these nine days past.
‘But unto him a wife the bride winna be,
For love of Hynde Horn, far over the sea.’
He therefore borrows the old beggar’s garments and hobbles to the king’s
palace, where he petitions the porter for a cup of wine and a bit of cake
to be handed him by the fair bride herself.
‘“Good porter, I pray, for Saints Peter and Paul,
And for sake of the Saviour who died for us all,
For one cup of wine and one bit of bread,
To an auld man with travel and hunger bestead.
And ask the fair bride, for the sake of Hynde Horn,
To hand them to me so sadly forlorn.”
Then the porter for pity the message convey’d,
And told the fair bride all the beggar man said.’
The curtain went up again. The porter, moved to pity, has gone to give the
message to his lady. Hynde Horn is watching the staircase at the rear of
the stage, his heart in his eyes. The tapestries that hide it are drawn,
and there stands the king’s daughter, who tripped down the stair—
‘And in her fair hands did lovingly bear
A cup of red wine, and a farle of cake,
To give the old man for loved Hynde Horn’s sake.’
The hero of the ballad, who had not seen his true love for seven long
years, could not have been more amazed at the change in her than was
Ronald Macdonald at the sight of the flushed, excited, almost tearful
king’s daughter on the staircase, Lady Ardmore’s diamonds flashing from
her crimson satin gown, Lady Ardmore’s rubies glowing on her white arms
and throat; not Miss Dalziel, as had been arranged, but Francesca,
rebellious, reluctant, embarrassed, angrily beautiful and beautifully
angry!
In the next scene Hynde Horn has drained the cup and dropped the ring into
it.
‘“Oh, found you that ring by sea or on land,
Or got you that ring off a dead man’s hand?”
“Oh, I found not that ring by sea or on land,
But I got that ring from a fair lady’s hand.
As a pledge of true love she gave it to me,
Full seven years ago as I sail’d o’er the sea;
But now that the diamonds are changed in their hue,
I know that my love has to me proved untrue.”’
I never saw a prettier picture of sweet, tremulous womanhood, a more
enchanting, breathing image of fidelity, than Francesca looked as Mr.
Beresford read:—
‘“Oh, I will cast off my gay costly gown,
And follow thee on from town unto town;
And I will take the gold kaims from my hair,
And follow my true love for evermair.”’
Whereupon Hynde Horn lets his beggar weeds fall, and shines there the
foremost and noblest of all the king’s companie as he says:—
‘“You need not cast off your gay costly gown,
To follow me on from town unto town;
You need not take the gold kaims from your hair,
For Hynde Horn has gold enough and to spare.”
Then the bridegrooms were changed, and the lady re-wed
To Hynde Horn thus come back, like one from the dead.’
There is no doubt that this tableau gained the success of the evening, and
the participants in it should have modestly and gratefully received the
choruses of congratulation that were ready to be offered during the supper
and dance that followed. Instead of that, what happened? Francesca drove
home with Miss Dalziel before the quadrille d’honneur, and when Willie
bade me good night at the gate in the loaning, he said, “I shall not be
early to-morrow, dear. I am going to see Macdonald off.”
“Off!” I exclaimed. “Where is he going?”
“Only to Edinburgh and London, to stay till the last of next week.”
“But we may have left Pettybaw by that time.”
“Of course; that is probably what he has in mind. But let me tell you
this, Penelope: Macdonald is fathoms deep in love with Francesca, and if
she trifles with him she shall know what I think of her!”
“And let me tell you this, sir: Francesca is fathoms deep in love with
Ronald Macdonald, little as you suspect it, and if he trifles with her he
shall know what I think of him!”
Chapter XXIV. Old songs and modern instances.
‘He set her on a coal-black steed,
Himself lap on behind her,
An’ he’s awa’ to the Hieland hills
Whare her frien’s they canna find her.’
Rob Roy.
The occupants of Bide-a-Wee Cottage awoke in anything but a Jubilee
humour, next day. Willie had intended to come at nine, but of course did
not appear. Francesca took her breakfast in bed, and came listlessly into
the sitting-room at ten o’clock, looking like a ghost. Jean’s ankle was
much better—the sprain proved to be not even a strain—but her
wrist was painful. It was drizzling, too, and we had promised Miss Ardmore
and Miss Macrae to aid with the last Jubilee decorations, the distribution
of medals at the church, and the children’s games and tea on the links in
the afternoon.
We have determined not to desert our beloved Pettybaw for the metropolis
on this great day, but to celebrate it with the dear fowk o’ Fife who had
grown to be a part of our lives.
Bide-a-Wee Cottage does not occupy an imposing position in the landscape,
and the choice of art fabrics at the Pettybaw draper’s is small, but the
moment it should stop raining we were intending to carry out a dazzling
scheme of decoration that would proclaim our affectionate respect for the
‘little lady in black’ on her Diamond Jubilee. But would it stop raining?—that
was the question. The draper wasna certain that so licht a shoo’r could
richtly be called rain. The village weans were yearning for the hour to
arrive when they might sit on the wet golf-course and have tea;
manifestly, therefore, it could not be a bad day for Scotland; but if it
should grow worse, what would become of our mammoth subscription bonfire
on Pettybaw Law—the bonfire that Brenda Macrae was to light, as the
lady of the manor?
There were no deputations to request the honour of Miss Macrae’s
distinguished services on this occasion; that is not the way the
self-respecting villager comports himself in Fifeshire. The chairman of
the local committee, a respectable gardener, called upon Miss Macrae at
Pettybaw House, and said, “I’m sent to tell ye ye’re to have the pleasure
an’ the honour of lichtin’ the bonfire the nicht! Ay, it’s a grand chance
ye’re havin’, miss, ye’ll remember it as long as ye live, I’m thinkin’!”
When I complimented this rugged soul on his decoration of the triumphal
arch under which the school-children were to pass, I said, “I think if her
Majesty could see it, she would be pleased with our village to-day,
James.”
“Ay, ye’re richt, miss,” he replied complacently. “She’d see that
Inchcawdy canna compeer wi’ us; we’ve patronised her weel in Pettybaw!”
Truly, as Stevenson says, ‘he who goes fishing among the Scots peasantry
with condescension for a bait will have an empty basket by evening.’
At eleven o’clock a boy arrived at Bide-a-Wee with an interesting-looking
package, which I promptly opened. That dear foolish lover of mine (whose
foolishness is one of the most adorable things about him) makes me only
two visits a day, and is therefore constrained to send me some reminder of
himself in the intervening hours, or minutes—a book, a flower, or a
note. Uncovering the pretty box, I found a long, slender—something—of
sparkling silver.
“What is it?” I exclaimed, holding it up. “It is too long and not wide
enough for a paper-knife, although it would be famous for cutting
magazines. Is it a baton? Where did Willie find it, and what can it be?
There is something engraved on one side, something that looks like birds
on a twig,—yes, three little birds; and see the lovely cairngorm set
in the end! Oh, it has words cut in it: ‘To Jean: From Hynde Horn’—Goodness
me! I’ve opened Miss Dalziel’s package!”
Francesca made a sudden swooping motion, and caught box, cover, and
contents in her arms.
“It is mine! I know it is mine!” she cried. “You really ought not to claim
everything that is sent to the house, Penelope—as if nobody had any
friends or presents but you!” and she rushed upstairs like a whirlwind.
I examined the outside wrapper, lying on the floor, and found, to my
chagrin, that it did bear Miss Monroe’s name, somewhat blotted by the
rain; but if the box were addressed to her, why was the silver thing
inscribed to Miss Dalziel? Well, Francesca would explain the mystery
within the hour, unless she had become a changed being.
Fifteen minutes passed. Salemina was making Jubilee sandwiches at Pettybaw
House, Miss Dalziel was asleep in her room, I was being devoured slowly by
curiosity, when Francesca came down without a word, walked out of the
front door, went up to the main street, and entered the village
post-office without so much as a backward glance. She was a changed being,
then! I might as well be living in a Gaboriau novel, I thought, and went
up into my little painting and writing room to address a programme of the
Pettybaw celebration to Lady Baird, watch for the glimpse of Willie coming
down the loaning, and see if I could discover where Francesca went from
the post-office.
Sitting down by my desk, I could find neither my wax nor my silver
candlestick, my scissors nor my ball of twine. Plainly Francesca had been
on one of her borrowing tours; and she had left an additional trace of
herself—if one were needed—in a book of old Scottish ballads,
open at ‘Hynde Horn.’ I glanced at it idly while I was waiting for her to
return. I was not familiar with the opening verses, and these were the
first lines that met my eye:—
‘Oh, he gave to his love a silver wand,
Her sceptre of rule over fair Scotland;
With three singing laverocks set thereon
For to mind her of him when he was gone.
And his love gave to him a gay gold ring
With three shining diamonds set therein;
Oh, his love gave to him this gay gold ring,
Of virtue and value above all thing.’
A light dawned upon me! The silver mystery, then, was intended for a wand—and
a very pretty way of making love to an American girl, too, to call it a
‘sceptre of rule over fair Scotland’; and the three birds were three
singing laverocks ‘to mind her of him when he was gone’!
But the real Hynde Horn in the dear old ballad had a truelove who was not
captious and capricious and cold like Francesca. His love gave him a gay
gold ring—
‘Of virtue and value above all thing.’
Yet stay: behind the ballad book flung heedlessly on my desk was—what
should it be but the little morocco case, empty now, in which our
Francesca keeps her dead mother’s engagement ring—the mother who
died when she was a wee child. Truly a very pretty modern ballad to be
sung in these unromantic, degenerate days!
Francesca came in at the door behind me, saw her secret reflected in my
tell-tale face, saw the sympathetic moisture in my eyes, and, flinging
herself into my willing arms, burst into tears.
“O Pen, dear, dear Pen, I am so miserable and so happy; so afraid that he
won’t come back, so frightened for fear that he will! I sent him away
because there were so many lions in the path, and I didn’t know how to
slay them. I thought of my f-father; I thought of my c-c-country. I didn’t
want to live with him in Scotland, I knew that I couldn’t live without him
in America, and there I was! I didn’t think I was s-suited to a minister,
and I am not; but oh! this p-particular minister is so s-suited to me!”
and she threw herself on the sofa and buried her head in the cushions.
She was so absurd even in her grief that I had hard work to keep from
smiling.
“Let us talk about the lions,” I said soothingly. “But when did the
trouble begin? When did he speak to you?”
“After the tableau last night; but of course there had been other—other—times—and
things.”
“Of course. Well?”
“He had told me a week before that he should go away for a while, that it
made him too wretched to stay here just now; and I suppose that was when
he got the silver wand ready for me. It was meant for the Jean of the
poem, you know. Of course he would not put my own name on a gift like
that.”
“You don’t think he had it made for Jean Dalziel in the first place?”—I
asked this, thinking she needed some sort of tonic in her relaxed
condition.
“You know him better than that, Penelope! I am ashamed of you! We had read
Hynde Horn together ages before Jean Dalziel came; but I imagine, when we
came to acting the lines, he thought it would be better to have some other
king’s daughter; that is, that it would be less personal. And I never,
never would have been in the tableau, if I had dared refuse Lady Ardmore,
or could have explained; but I had no time to think. And then, naturally,
he thought by me being there as the king’s daughter that—that—the
lions were slain, you know; instead of which they were roaring so that I
could hardly hear the orchestra.”
“Francesca, look me in the eye! Do—you—love him?”
“Love him? I adore him!” she exclaimed in good clear decisive English, as
she rose impetuously and paced up and down in front of the sofa. “But in
the first place there is the difference in nationality.”
“I have no patience with you. One would think he was a Turk, an Esquimau,
or a cannibal. He is white, he speaks English, and he believes in the
Christian religion. The idea of calling such a man a foreigner!”
“Oh, it didn’t prevent me from loving him,” she confessed, “but I thought
at first it would be unpatriotic to marry him.”
“Did you think Columbia could not spare you even as a rare specimen to be
used for exhibition purposes?” I asked wickedly.
“You know I am not so conceited as that! No,” she continued ingenuously,
“I feared that if I accepted him it would look, over here, as if the
home-supply of husbands were of inferior quality; and then we had such
disagreeable discussions at the beginning, I simply could not bear to
leave my nice new free country, and ally myself with his aeons of tiresome
history. But it came to me in the night, a week ago, that after all I
should hate a man who didn’t love his Fatherland; and in the illumination
of that new idea Ronald’s character assumed a different outline in my
mind. How could he love America when he had never seen it? How could I
convince him that American women are the most charming in the world in any
better way than by letting him live under the same roof with a good
example? How could I expect him to let me love my country best unless I
permitted him to love his best?”
“You needn’t offer so many apologies for your infatuation, my dear,” I
answered dryly.
“I am not apologising for it!” she exclaimed impulsively. “Oh, if you
could only keep it to yourself, I should like to tell you how I trust and
admire and reverence Ronald Macdonald, but of course you will repeat
everything to Willie Beresford within the hour! You think he has gone on
and on loving me against his better judgment. You believe he has fought
against it because of my unfitness, but that I, poor, weak, trivial thing,
am not capable of deep feeling and that I shall never appreciate the
sacrifices he makes in choosing me! Very well, then, I tell you plainly
that if I had to live in a damp manse the rest of my life, drink tea and
eat scones for breakfast, and—and buy my hats of the Inchcaldy
milliner, I should still glory in the possibility of being Ronald
Macdonald’s wife—a possibility hourly growing more uncertain, I am
sorry to say!”
“And the extreme aversion with which you began,” I asked—“what has
become of that, and when did it begin to turn in the opposite direction?”
“Aversion!” she cried, with convincing and unblushing candour. “That
aversion was a cover, clapped on to keep my self-respect warm. I abused
him a good deal, it is true, because it was so delightful to hear you and
Salemina take his part. Sometimes I trembled for fear you would agree with
me, but you never did. The more I criticised him, the louder you sang his
praises—it was lovely! The fact is—we might as well throw
light upon the whole matter, and then never allude to it again; and if you
tell Willie Beresford, you shall never visit my manse, nor see me preside
at my mothers’ meetings, nor hear me address the infant class in the
Sunday-school—the fact is, I liked him from the beginning at Lady
Baird’s dinner. I liked the bow he made when he offered me his arm (I wish
it had been his hand); I liked the top of his head when it was bowed; I
liked his arm when I took it; I liked the height of his shoulder when I
stood beside it; I liked the way he put me in my chair (that showed
chivalry), and unfolded his napkin (that was neat and business-like), and
pushed aside all his wine-glasses but one (that was temperate); I liked
the side view of his nose, the shape of his collar, the cleanness of his
shave, the manliness of his tone—oh, I liked him altogether, you
must know how it is, Penelope—the goodness and strength and
simplicity that radiated from him. And when he said, within the first
half-hour, that international alliances presented even more difficulties
to the imagination than others, I felt, to my confusion, a distinct sense
of disappointment. Even while I was quarrelling with him, I said to
myself, ‘Poor darling, you cannot have him even if you should want him, so
don’t look at him much!’—But I did look at him; and what is worse,
he looked at me; and what is worse yet, he curled himself so tightly round
my heart that if he takes himself away, I shall be cold the rest of my
life!”
“Then you are really sure of your love this time, and you have never
advised him to wed somebody more worthy than yourself?” I asked.
“Not I!” she replied. “I wouldn’t put such an idea into his head for
worlds! He might adopt it!”
Chapter XXV. A treaty between nations.
‘Pale and wan was she when Glenlogie gaed ben,
But red rosy grew she whene’er he sat doun.
Glenlogie.
Just here the front door banged, and a manly step sounded on the stair.
Francesca sat up straight in a big chair, and dried her eyes hastily with
her poor little wet ball of a handkerchief; for she knows that Willie is a
privileged visitor in my studio. The door opened (it was ajar) and Ronald
Macdonald strode into the room. I hope I may never have the same sense of
nothingness again! To be young, pleasing, gifted, and to be regarded no
more than a fly upon the wall, is death to one’s self-respect.
He dropped on one knee beside Francesca, and took her two hands in his
without removing his gaze from her speaking face. She burned, but did not
flinch under the ordeal. The colour leaped into her cheeks. Love swam in
her tears, but was not drowned there; it was too strong.
“Did you mean it?” he asked.
She looked at him, trembling, as she said, “I meant every word, and far,
far more. I meant all that a girl can say to a man when she loves him, and
wants to be everything she is capable of being to him, to his work, to his
people, and to his—country.”
Even this brief colloquy had been embarrassing, but I knew that worse was
still to come and could not be delayed much longer, so I left the room
hastily and with no attempt at apology—not that they minded my
presence in the least, or observed my exit, though I was obliged to leap
over Mr. Macdonald’s feet in passing.
I found Mr. Beresford sitting on the stairs, in the lower hall.
“Willie, you angel, you idol, where did you find him?” I exclaimed.
“When I went into the post-office, an hour ago,” he replied, “I met
Francesca. She asked me for Macdonald’s Edinburgh address, saying she had
something that belonged to him and wished to send it after him. I offered
to address the package and see that it reached him as expeditiously as
possible. ‘That is what I wish,” she said, with elaborate formality. ‘This
is something I have just discovered, something he needs very much,
something he does not know he has left behind.’ I did not think it best to
tell her at the moment that Macdonald had not yet deserted Inchcaldy.”
“Willie, you have the quickest intelligence and the most exquisite insight
of any man I ever met!”
“But the fact was that I had been to see him off, and found him detained
by the sudden illness of one of his elders. I rode over again to take him
the little parcel. Of course I don’t know what it contained; by its size
and shape I should judge it might be a thimble, or a collar-button, or a
sixpence; but, at all events, he must have needed the thing, for he
certainly did not let the grass grow under his feet after he received it!
Let us go into the sitting-room until they come down,—as they will
have to, poor wretches, sooner or later; I know that I am always being
brought down against my will. Salemina wants your advice about the number
of her Majesty’s portraits to be hung on the front of the cottage, and the
number of candles to be placed in each window.”
It was a half-hour later when Mr. Macdonald came into the room, and,
walking directly up to Salemina, kissed her hand respectfully.
“Miss Salemina,” he said, with evident emotion, “I want to borrow one of
your national jewels for my Queen’s crown.”
“And what will our President say to lose a jewel from his crown?”
“Good republican rulers do not wear coronets, as a matter of principle,”
he argued; “but in truth I fear I am not thinking of her Majesty—God
bless her! This gem is not entirely for state occasions.
‘“I would wear it in my bosom,
Lest my jewel I should tine.”’
It is the crowning of my own life rather than that of the British Empire
that engages my present thought. Will you intercede for me with
Francesca’s father?”
“And this is the end of all your international bickering?” Salemina asked
teasingly.
“Yes,” he answered; “we have buried the hatchet, signed articles of
agreement, made treaties of international comity. Francesca stays over
here as a kind of missionary to Scotland, so she says, or as a feminine
diplomat; she wishes to be on hand to enforce the Monroe Doctrine
properly, in case her government’s accredited ambassadors relax in the
performance of their duty.”
“Salemina!” called a laughing voice outside the door. “I am won’erful
lifted up. You will be a prood woman the day, for I am now Estaiblished!”
and Francesca, clad in Miss Grieve’s Sunday bonnet, shawl, and black
cotton gloves, entered, and curtsied demurely to the floor. She held, as
corroborative detail, a life of John Knox in her hand, and anything more
incongruous than her sparkling eyes and mutinous mouth under the
melancholy head-gear can hardly be imagined.
“I am now Estaiblished,” she repeated. “Div ye ken the new asseestant frae
Inchcawdy pairish? I’m the mon’ (a second deep curtsy here). “I trust,
leddies, that ye’ll mak’ the maist o’ your releegious preevileges, an’
that ye’ll be constant at the kurruk.—Have you given papa’s consent,
Salemina? And isn’t it dreadful that he is Scotch?”
“Isn’t it dreadful that she is not?” asked Mr. Macdonald. “Yet to my mind
no woman in Scotland is half as lovable as she!”
“And no man in America begins to compare with him,” Francesca confessed
sadly. “Isn’t it pitiful that out of the millions of our own countrypeople
we couldn’t have found somebody that would do? What do you think now, Lord
Ronald Macdonald, of these dangerous international alliances?”
“You never understood that speech of mine,” he replied, with prompt
mendacity. “When I said that international marriages presented more
difficulties to the imagination than others, I was thinking of your
marriage and mine, and that, I knew from the first moment I saw you, would
be extremely difficult to arrange!”
Chapter XXVI. ‘Scotland’s burning! Look out!’
‘And soon a score of fires, I ween,
From height, and hill, and cliff were seen;
. . . . . . .
Each after each they glanced to sight,
As stars arise upon the night,
They gleamed on many a dusky tarn,
Haunted by the lonely earn;
On many a cairn’s grey pyramid,
Where urns of mighty chiefs lie hid.’
The Lay of the Last Minstrel.
The rain continued at intervals throughout the day, but as the afternoon
wore on the skies looked a trifle more hopeful. It would be ‘saft,’ no
doubt, climbing the Law, but the bonfire must be lighted. Would Pettybaw
be behind London? Would Pettybaw desert the Queen in her hour of need? Not
though the rain were bursting the well-heads on Cawda; not though the
swollen mountain burns drowned us to the knee! So off we started as the
short midsummer night descended.
We were to climb the Law, wait for the signal from Cawda’s lonely height,
and then fire Pettybaw’s torch of loyalty to the little lady in black; not
a blaze flaming out war and rumours of war, as was the beacon-fire on the
old grey battlements of Edinburgh Castle in the days of yore, but a
message of peace and good-will. Pausing at a hut on the side of the great
green mountain, we looked north toward Helva, white-crested with a wreath
of vapour. (You need not look on your map of Scotland for Cawda and Helva,
for you will not find them any more than you will find Pettybaw and
Inchcaldy.) One by one the tops of the distant hills began to clear, and
with the glass we could discern the bonfire cairns up-built here and there
for Scotland’s evening sacrifice of love and fealty. Cawda was still
veiled, and Cawda was to give the signal for all the smaller fires.
Pettybaw’s, I suppose, was counted as a flash in the pan, but not one of
the hundred patriots climbing the mountain-side would have acknowledged
it; to us the good name of the kingdom of Fife and the glory of the
British Empire depended on Pettybaw fire. Some of us had misgivings, too,—misgivings
founded upon Miss Grieve’s dismal prophecies. She had agreed to put nine
lighted candles in each of our cottage windows at ten o’clock, but had
declined to go out of her kitchen to see a procession, hear a band, or
look at a bonfire. She had had a fair sickenin’ day, an amount of work too
wearifu’ for one person by her lane. She hoped that the bonfire wasna
built o’ Mrs. Sinkler’s coals nor Mr. Macbrose’s kindlings, nor soaked
with Mr. Cameron’s paraffin; and she finished with the customary, but
irrelative and exasperating, allusion to the exceedingly nice family with
whom she had live in Glasgy.
And still we toiled upward, keeping our doubts to ourselves. Jean was
limping bravely, supported by Robin Anstruther’s arm. Mr. Macdonald was
ardently helping Francesca, who can climb like a chamois, but would
doubtless rather be assisted. Her gypsy face shone radiant out of her
black cloth hood, and Ronald’s was no less luminous. I have never seen two
beings more love-daft. They comport themselves as if they had read the
manuscript of the tender passion, and were moving in exalted superiority
through a less favoured world,—a world waiting impatiently for the
first number of the story to come out.
Still we climbed, and as we approached the Grey Lady (a curious rock very
near the summit) somebody proposed three cheers for the Queen.
How the children hurrahed,—for the infant heart is easily inflamed,—and
how their shrill Jubilee slogan pierced the mystery of the night, and went
rolling on from glen to glen to the Firth of Forth itself! Then there was
a shout from the rocketmen far out on the open moor,—‘Cawda’s clear!
Cawda’s clear!’ Back against a silver sky stood the signal pile, and
signal rockets flashed upward, to be answered from all the surrounding
hills.
Now to light our own fire. One of the village committee solemnly took off
his hat and poured on oil. The great moment had come. Brenda Macrae
approached the sacred pile, and, tremulous from the effect of much
contradictory advice, applied the torch. Silence, thou Grieve and others,
false prophets of disaster! Who now could say that Pettybaw bonfire had
been badly built, or that its fifteen tons of coal and twenty cords of
wood had been unphilosophically heaped together?
The flames rushed toward the sky with ruddy blaze, shining with weird
effect against the black fir-trees and the blacker night. Three cheers
more! God save the Queen! May she reign over us, happy and glorious! And
we cheered lustily, too, you may be sure! It was more for the woman than
the monarch; it was for the blameless life, not for the splendid monarchy;
but there was everything hearty, and nothing alien in our tone, when we
sang ‘God save the Queen’ with the rest of the Pettybaw villagers.
The land darkened; the wind blew chill. Willie, Mr. Macdonald, and Mr.
Anstruther brought rugs, and found a sheltered nook for us where we might
still watch the scene. There we sat, looking at the plains below, with all
the village streets sparkling with light, with rockets shooting into the
air and falling to earth in golden rain, with red lights flickering on the
grey lakes, and with one beacon-fire after another gleaming from the
hilltops, till we could count more than fifty answering one another from
the wooded crests along the shore, some of them piercing the rifts of
low-lying clouds till they seemed to be burning in mid-heaven.
Then one by one the distant fires faded, and as some of us still sat there
silently, far, far away in the grey east there was a faint flush of
carmine where the new dawn was kindling in secret. Underneath that violet
bank of cloud the sun was forging his beams of light. The pole-star paled.
The breath of the new morrow stole up out of the rosy grey. The wings of
the morning stirred and trembled; and in the darkness and chill and
mysterious awakening eyes looked into other eyes, hand sought hand, and
cheeks touched each other in mute caress.
Chapter XXVII. Three magpies and a marriage.
‘Sun, gallop down the westlin skies,
Gang soon to bed, an’ quickly rise;
O lash your steeds, post time away,
And haste about our bridal day!’
The Gentle Shepherd.
Every noon, during this last week, as we have wended our way up the
loaning to the Pettybaw inn for our luncheon, we have passed three magpies
sitting together on the topmost rail of the fence. I am not prepared to
state that they were always the same magpies; I only know there were
always three of them. We have just discovered what they were about, and
great is the excitement in our little circle. I am to be married
to-morrow, and married in Pettybaw, and Miss Grieve says that in Scotland
the number of magpies one sees is of infinite significance: that one means
sorrow; two, mirth; three, a marriage; four, a birth, and we now recall as
corroborative detail that we saw one magpie, our first, on the afternoon
of her arrival.
Mr. Beresford has been cabled for, and must return to America at once on
important business. He persuaded me that the Atlantic is an ower large
body of water to roll between two lovers, and I agreed with all my heart.
A wedding was arranged, mostly by telegraph, in six hours. The Reverend
Ronald and the Friar are to perform the ceremony; a dear old painter
friend of mine, a London R.A., will come to give me away; Francesca will
be my maid of honour; Elizabeth Ardmore and Jean Dalziel, my bridemaidens;
Robin Anstruther, the best man; while Jamie and Ralph will be kilted
pages-in-waiting, and Lady Ardmore will give the breakfast at the Castle.
Never was there such generosity, such hospitality, such wealth of
friendship! True, I have no wedding finery; but as I am perforce a
Scottish bride, I can be married in the white gown with the silver
thistles in which I went to Holyrood.
Mr. Anstruther took a night train to and from London to choose the
bouquets and bridal souvenirs. Lady Baird has sent the veil, and a
wonderful diamond thistle to pin it on,—a jewel fit for a princess!
With the dear Dominie’s note promising to be an usher came an antique
silver casket filled with white heather. And as for the bride-cake, it is
one of Salemina’s gifts, chosen as much in a spirit of fun as affection.
It is surely appropriate for this American wedding transplanted to
Scottish soil, and what should it be but a model, in fairy icing, of Sir
Walter’s beautiful monument in Princes Street! Of course Francesca is full
of nonsensical quips about it, and says that the Edinburgh jail would have
been just as fine architecturally (it is, in truth, a building beautiful
enough to tempt an aesthete to crime), and a much more fitting symbol for
a wedding-cake, unless, indeed, she adds, Salemina intends her gift to be
a monument to my folly.
Pettybaw kirk is trimmed with yellow broom from these dear Scottish banks
and braes; and waving their green fans and plumes up and down the aisle
where I shall walk a bride, are tall ferns and bracken from Crummylowe
Glen, where we played ballads.
As I look back upon it, the life here has been all a ballad from first to
last. Like the elfin Tam Lin,
‘The queen o’ fairies she caught me
In this green hill to dwell,’
and these hasty nuptials are a fittingly romantic ending to the summer’s
poetry. I am in a mood, were it necessary, to be ‘ta’en by the milk-white
hand,’ lifted to a pillion on a coal-black charger, and spirited ‘o’er the
border an’ awa’’ by my dear Jock o’ Hazeldean. Unhappily, all is quite
regular and aboveboard; no ‘lord o’ Langley dale’ contests the prize with
the bridegroom, but the marriage is at least unique and unconventional; no
one can rob me of that sweet consolation.
So ‘gallop down the westlin skies,’ dear Sun, but, prythee, gallop back
to-morrow! ‘Gang soon to bed,’ an you will, but rise again betimes! Give
me Queen’s weather, dear Sun, and shine a benison upon my wedding-morn!
[Exit Penelope into the ballad-land of maiden dreams.]
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Penelope’s Experiences in Scotland, by
Kate Douglas Wiggin
*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PENELOPE’S EXPERIENCES IN SCOTLAND ***
***** This file should be named 1217-h.htm or 1217-h.zip *****
This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
http://www.gutenberg.org/1/2/1/1217/
Produced by Les Bowler, David Widger
Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
will be renamed.
Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,
set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project
Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you
do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is
subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
redistribution.
*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project
Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
http://gutenberg.org/license).
Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic works
1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works. See paragraph 1.E below.
1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation”
or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the
collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an
individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in
a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check
the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning
the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
States.
1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project
Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
copied or distributed:
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the
work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
1.E.9.
1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked
to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg-tm License.
1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or
distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
“Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version
posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other
form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
that
- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is
owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments
must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to
the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”
- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License. You must require such a user to return or
destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
Project Gutenberg-tm works.
- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
of receipt of the work.
- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the
Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
1.F.
1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
“Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
your equipment.
1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right
of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.
1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with
the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy
is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
opportunities to fix the problem.
1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’ WITH NO OTHER
WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any
provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists
because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
people in all walks of life.
Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm’s
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
Foundation
The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.
The Foundation’s principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at
809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact
information can be found at the Foundation’s web site and official
page at http://pglaf.org
For additional contact information:
Dr. Gregory B. Newby
Chief Executive and Director
gbnewby@pglaf.org
Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation
Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.
The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To
SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
particular state visit http://pglaf.org
While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.
International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.
Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily
keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
http://www.gutenberg.org
This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.