The Project Gutenberg EBook of Prince Prigio, by Andrew Lang
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Title: Prince Prigio
From "His Own Fairy Book"
Author: Andrew Lang
Release Date: June 25, 2007 [EBook #21935]
Last Updated: December 17, 2016
Language: English
Character set encoding: UTF-8
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PRINCE PRIGIO ***
Produced by David Widger
As time went on, Prince Prigio had two younger brothers, whom everybody
liked: They were not a bit clever, but jolly. Prince Alphonso, the third
son, was round, fat, good-humoured, and as brave as a lion. Prince Enrico,
the second, was tall, thin, and a “little sad, but never too
clever.” Both were in love with two of their own cousins (with the
approval of their dear parents); and all the world said, “What nice,
unaffected princes they are!” But Prigio nearly got the country into
several wars by being too clever for the foreign ambassadors. Now, as
Pantouflia was a rich, lazy country, which hated fighting, this was very
unpleasant, and did not make people love Prince Prigio any better.
The violet is a blossom sweet,
That droops before the day is done—
Slain by thine overpowering heat, O Sun!
And I, like that sweet purple flower,
May roast, or boil, or broil, or bake,
If burned by thy terrific power, Firedrake!
This poem comforted Enrico more or less, and he showed it to Prigio. But
the prince only laughed, and said that the second line of the last verse
was not very good; for violets do not “roast, or boil, or broil, or bake.”
Enrico tried to improve it, but could not. So he read it to his cousin,
Lady Kathleena, just as it was; and she cried over it (though I don’t
think she understood it); and Enrico cried a little, too.
However, next day he started, with a spear, a patent refrigerator, and a
lot of the bottles people throw at fires to put them out.
But henever came back again!
After shedding torrents of tears, the king summoned Prince Prigio to his
presence.
“Dastard!” he said. “Poltroon! Your turn, which should have come
first, has arrived at last. You must fetch me the horns and the
tail of the Fired rake. Probably you will be grilled, thank goodness; but
who will give me back Enrico and Alphonso?”
“Indeed, your majesty,” said Prigio, “you must permit me to correct your
policy. Your only reason for dispatching your sons in pursuit of this
dangerous but I believe fabulous animal, was to ascertain which of
us would most worthily succeed to your throne, at the date—long may
it be deferred!—of your lamented decease. Now, there can be no
further question about the matter. I, unworthy as I am, represent the sole
hope of the royal family. Therefore to send me after the Firedrake were*
both dangerous and unnecessary. Dangerous, because, if he treats me as you
say he did my brothers—my unhappy brothers,—the throne of
Pantouflia will want an heir. But, if I do come back alive—why, I
cannot be more the true heir than I am at present; now can I? Ask
the Lord Chief Justice, if you don’t believe me.”
* Subjunctive mood! He was a great grammarian!
These arguments were so clearly and undeniably correct that the king,
unable to answer them, withdrew into a solitary place where he could
express himself with freedom, and give rein to his passions.
He sat down at a table, however, and shouted “Kellner!” at which
all the waiters jumped, and looked round in every direction, but nobody
came to him. At first he thought they were too busy, but presently another
explanation occurred to him.
“The king,” said he to himself, “has threatened to execute anybody who
speaks to me, or helps me in any way. Well, I don’t mean to starve in the
midst of plenty, anyhow; here goes!”
The prince rose, and went to the table in the midst of the room, where a
huge roast turkey had just been placed. He helped himself to half the
breast, some sausages, chestnut stuffing, bread sauce, potatoes, and a
bottle of red wine—Burgundy. He then went back to a table in a
corner, where he dined very well, nobody taking any notice of him. When he
had finished, he sat watching the other people dining, and smoking his
cigarette. As he was sitting thus, a very tall man, an officer in the
uniform of the Guards, came in, and, walking straight to the prince’s
table, said: “Kellner, clean this table, and bring in the bill of fare.”
With these words, the officer sat down suddenly in the prince’s lap, as if
he did not see him at all. He was a heavy man, and the prince, enraged at
the insult, pushed him away and jumped to his feet. As he did so, his
cap dropped off. The officer fell on his knees at once, crying:
“Pardon, my prince, pardon! I never saw you!”
This was more than the prince could be expected to believe.
“Nonsense! Count Frederick von Matterhorn,” he said; “you must be
intoxicated. Sir! you have insulted your prince and your superior officer.
Consider yourself under arrest! You shall be sent to a prison to-morrow.”
On this, the poor officer appealed piteously to everybody in the tavern.
They all declared that they had not seen the prince, nor ever had an idea
that he was doing them the honour of being in the neighbourhood of their
town.
More and more offended, and convinced that there was a conspiracy to annoy
and insult him, the prince shouted for the landlord, called for his bill,
threw down his three pieces of gold without asking for change, and went
into the street.
“It is a disgraceful conspiracy,” he said. “The king shall answer for
this! I shall write to the newspapers at once!”
He was not put in a better temper by the way in which people hustled him
in the street. They ran against him exactly as if they did not see him,
and then staggered back in the greatest surprise, looking in every
direction for the person they had jostled. In one of these encounters, the
prince pushed so hard against a poor old beggar woman that she fell down.
As he was usually most kind and polite, he pulled off his cap to beg her
pardon, when, behold, the beggar woman gave one dreadful scream, and
fainted! A crowd was collecting, and the prince, forgetting that he had
thrown down all his money in the tavern, pulled out his purse. Then he
remembered what he had done, and expected to find it empty; but, lo, there
were three pieces of gold in it! Overcome with surprise, he thrust the
money into the woman’s hand, and put on his cap again. In a moment the
crowd, which had been staring at him, rushed away in every direction, with
cries of terror, declaring that there was a magician in the town, and a
fellow who could appear and disappear at pleasure!
When he arrived at the house where the ball was going on, he put the
magical carpet in the portmanteau, and left it in the cloakroom, receiving
a numbered ticket in exchange. Then he marched in all his glory (and, of
course, without the cap of darkness) into the room where they were
dancing. Everybody made place for him, bowing down to the ground, and the
loyal band struck up The Prince’s March:
Heaven bless our Prince Prigio! What is there he doesn’t know? Greek,
Swiss, German (High and Low), And the names of the mountains in Mexico,
Heaven bless the prince!
He used to be very fond of this march, and the words—some people
even said he had made them himself. But now, somehow, he didn’t much like
it. He went straight to the Duke of Stumpfelbahn, the Hereditary Master of
the Ceremonies, and asked to be introduced to the beautiful young lady.
She was the daughter of the new English Ambassador, and her name was Lady
Rosalind. But she nearly fainted when she heard who it was that wished to
dance with her, for she was not at all particularly clever; and the prince
had such a bad character for snubbing girls, and asking them difficult
questions. However, it was impossible to refuse, and so she danced with
the prince, and he danced very well. Then they sat out in the
conservatory, among the flowers, where nobody came near them; and then
they danced again, and then the Prince took her down to supper. And all
the time he never once said, “Have you read this?” or “Have you
read that?” or, “What! you never heard of Alexander the Great?” or
Julius Caesar, or Michael Angelo, or whoever it might be—horrid,
difficult questions he used to ask. That was the way he used to go
on: but now he only talked to the young lady about herself; and she
quite left off being shy or frightened, and asked him all about his own
country, and about the Firedrake shooting, and said how fond she was of
hunting herself. And the prince said:
“Oh, if you wish it, you shall have the horns and tail of a
Firedrake to hang up in your hall, to-morrow evening!”
Then she asked if it was not very dangerous work, Firedrake hunting; and
he said it was nothing, when you knew the trick of it: and he asked her if
she would but give him a rose out of her bouquet; and, in short, he made
himself so agreeable and unaffected, that she thought him very nice
indeed.
For, even a clever person can be nice when he likes—above all, when
he is not thinking about himself. And now the prince was thinking of
nothing in the world but the daughter of the English Ambassador, and how
to please her-He got introduced to her father too, and quite won his
heart; and, at last, he was invited to dine next day at the Embassy.
In Pantouflia, it is the custom that a ball must not end while one of the
royal family goes on dancing. This ball lasted till the light came
in, and the birds were singing out of doors, and all the mothers present
were sound asleep.
Then nothing would satisfy the prince, but that they all should go home
singing through the streets; in fact, there never had been so merry a
dance in all Pantouflia. The prince had made a point of dancing with
almost every girl there: and he had suddenly become the most beloved of
the royal family. But everything must end at last; and the prince, putting
on the cap of darkness and sitting on the famous carpet, flew back to his
lonely castle.
The prince did not like the looks of him.
“With all my cap of darkness, and my shoes of swiftness, and my sword of
sharpness, I never could get near that beast,” he said; “and if I did
stalk him, I could not hurt him. Poor little Alphonso! poor Enrico! what
plucky fellows they were! I fancied that there was no such thing as a
Firedrake: he’s not in the Natural History books; and I thought the boys
were only making fun, and would be back soon, safe and sound. How horrid
being too clever makes one! And now, what amI to do?”
What was he to do, indeed? And what would you have done? Bring the horns
and tail he must, or perish in the adventure. Otherwise, how could he meet
his lady?—why, she would think him a mere braggart.
The prince sat down, and thought and thought; and the day went on, and it
was now high noon.
At last he jumped up and rushed into the library, a room where nobody ever
went except himself and the queen. There he turned the books upside down,
in his haste, till he found an old one, by a French gentleman, Monsieur
Cyrano de Bergerac. It was an account of a voyage to the moon, in which
there is a great deal of information about matters not generally known;
for few travellers have been to the moon. In that book, Prince Prigio
fancied he would find something he half remembered, and that would be of
use to him. And he did! So you see that cleverness, and minding
your book, have some advantages, after all. For here the prince learned
that there is a very rare beast called a Remora, which is at least as cold
as the Firedrake is hot!
“Now,” thought he, “if I can only make these two fight, why the
Remora may kill the Firedrake, or take the heat out of him, at least, so
that I may have a chance.”
Then he seized the ivory glass, clapped it to his eye, and looked for the
Remora. Just the tip of his nose, as white as snow and as smooth as ice,
was sticking out of a chink in a frozen mountain, not far from the burning
mountain of the Firedrake.
TO ALL LOYAL SUBJECTS.
Whereas,
Our eldest son, Prince Prigio, hath of late been guilty of
several high crimes and misdemeanours.
First: By abandoning the post of danger against the
Firedrake, whereby our beloved sons, Prince Alphonso and
Prince Enrico, have perished, and been overdone by that
monster.
Secondly: By attending an unseemly revel in the town of
Gluckstein, where he brawled in the streets.
Thirdly: By trying to seduce away the hearts of our loyal
subjects in that city, and to blow up a party against our
crown and our peace.
[Illustration: Page 61]
This is to give warning,
That whoever consorts with, comforts, aids, or abets the
said Prince Prigio, is thereby a partner in his treason; and
That a reward of Five Thousand Purses will be given to
whomsoever brings the said prince, alive, to our Castle of
Falkenstein.
Grognio R.
And here is the second proclamation:
Reward. The firedrake. Whereas,
Our dominions have lately been devastated by a Firedrake
(the Salamander Furiosus of Buffon);
This is to advise all,
That whosoever brings the horns and tail of the said
Firedrake to our Castle of Falkenstein, shall receive Five
Thousand Purses, the position of Crown Prince, with the
usual perquisites, and the hand of the king’s niece, the
Lady Molinda.
Grognio R.
“H’m,” said the prince; “I did not think his majesty wrote so well;” and
he would have liked to say, “Don’t you think we might join the
ladies?”
“But, sir,” said the ambassador, “the streets are lined with soldiers; and
I know not how you have escaped them. Here, under my roof, you are
safe for the moment; but a prolonged stay—excuse my inhospitality—could
not but strain the harmonious relations which prevail between the
Government of Pantouflia and that which I have the honour to represent.”
“We don’t want to fight; and no more, I think, do you,” said the prince,
smiling.
“Then how does your royal highness mean to treat the proclamations?”
“Why, by winning these ten thousand purses. I can tell you £1,000,000 is
worth having,” said the prince. “I ‘ll deliver up the said prince, alive,
at Falkenstein this very night; also the horns and tail of the said
Firedrake. But I don’t want to marry my Cousin Molly.”
“May I remind your royal highness that Falkenstein is three hundred miles
away? Moreover, my head butler, Benson, disappeared from the house before
dinner, and I fear he went to warn Captain Kopzoffski that you are here!”
“That is nothing,” said the prince; “but, my dear Lord Kelso, may I not
have the pleasure of presenting Lady Rosalind with a little gift, a
Philippine which I lost to her last night, merely the head and tail of a
Firedrake which I stalked this morning?”
The ambassador was so astonished that he ran straight upstairs, forgetting
his manners, and crying:
“Linda! Linda! come down at once; here’s a surprise for you!”
Lady Rosalind came sweeping down, with a smile on her kind face. She
guessed what it was, though the prince had said nothing about it at
dinner.
“Lead the way, your royal highness!” cried the ambassador; and the prince
offering Lady Rosalind his arm, went out into the hall, where he saw
neither his carpet nor the horns and tail of the Firedrake!
He turned quite pale, and said:
“Will you kindly ask the servants where the little Persian prayer-rug and
the parcel which I brought with me have been placed?”
Lord Kelso rang the bell, and in came all the servants, with William, the
under-butler, at their head.
“William,” said his lordship, “where have you put his royal highness’s
parcel and his carpet?”
“Please, your lordship,” said William, “we think Benson have took them
away with him.”
“And where is Benson?”
“We don’t know, your lordship. We think he have been come for!”
“Come for—by whom?”
William stammered, and seemed at a loss for a reply.
“Quick! answer! what do you know about it?”
William said at last, rather as if he were making a speech:
“Your royaliness, and my lords and ladies, it was like this. His
royaliness comed in with a rug over his arm, and summat under it. And he
lays it down on that there seat, and Thomas shows him into the
droring-room. Then Benson says: ‘Dinner’ll be ready in five minutes; how
tired I do feel! ‘Then he takes the libbuty of sitting hisself down on his
royaliness’s rug, and he says, asking your pardon, ‘I ‘ve had about enough
of service here. I ‘m about tired, and I thinks of bettering myself. I
wish I was at the king’s court, and butler.’
* The History of this Prince may be read in a treatise
called The Rose and the Ring, by M. A. Titmarsh.
London, 1855.
Poor Lady Molinda could not but be hurt by the prince’s preference for
death over marriage to her, little as she liked him.
“Is life, then, so worthless? and is Molinda so terrible a person that you
prefer those arms,” and she pointed to the gibbet, “tothese?”—here
she held out her own, which were very white, round and pretty; for Molinda
was a good-hearted girl, she could not bear to see Prigio put to death;
and then, perhaps, she reflected that there are worse positions than the
queenship of Pantouflia. For Alphonso was gone—crying would not
bring him back.
“Ah, Madam!” said the prince, “you are forgiving—”
“For you are brave!” said Molinda, feeling: quite a respect for
him.
“But neither your heart nor mine is ours to give. Since mine was
another’s, I understand too well the feeling of yours! Do not let
us buy life at the price of happiness and honour.”
Then, turning to the king the prince said:
“Sir, is there no way but by death or marriage? You say you cannot keep
half only of your promise; and that, if I accept the reward, I must also
unite myself with my unwilling cousin. Cannot the whole proclamation be
annulled, and will you consider the bargain void if I tear up this flimsy
scroll?”
And here the prince fluttered the cheque for £1,000,000 in the air.
For a moment the king was tempted; but then he said to himself:
“Never mind, it’s only an extra penny on the income-tax.” Then, “Keep your
dross,” he shouted, meaning the million; “but let mekeep my
promise. To chapel at once, or—” and he pointed to the executioner.
“The word of a king of Pantouflia is sacred.”
“And so is that of a crown prince,” answered Prigio; “and mine is
pledged to a lady.”
“She shall be a mourning bride,” cried the king savagely, “unless”—here
he paused for a moment—“unless you bring me back Alphohso and
Enrico, safe and well!”
The prince thought for the space of a flash of lightning.
“I accept the alternative,” he said, “if your majesty will grant me my
conditions.”
“Name them!” said the king.
“Let me be transported to Gluckstein, left there unguarded, and if, in
three days, I do not return with my brothers safe and well, your majesty
shall be spared a cruel duty. Prigio of Pantouflia will perish by his own
hand.”
The king, whose mind did not work very quickly, took some minutes to think
over it. Then he saw that by granting the prince’s conditions, he would
either recover his dear sons, or, at least, get rid of Prigio, without the
unpleasantness of having him executed. For, though some kings have put
their eldest sons to death, and most have wished to do so, they have never
been better loved by the people for their Roman virtue.
“Honour bright?” said the king at last.
“Honour bright!” answered the prince, and for the first time in many
months, the royal father and son shook hands.
“For you, madam,” said Prigio in a stately way to Lady Molinda, “in less
than a week I trust we shall be taking our vows at the same altar, and
that the close of the ceremony which finds us cousins will leave us
brother and sister.”
Poor Molinda merely stared; for she could not imagine what he meant. In a
moment he was gone; and having taken, by the king’s permission, the flying
carpet, he was back at the ambassador’s house in Gluckstein.
* Water from the Fountain of Lions.
“Thank heaven!” said the prince. “I thought they were sure to have brought
it!”
Then he took one of the old black-leather bottles, and ran downstairs
again to the place where he had burned the body of the poor old sick cat.
He opened the bottle, and poured a few drops of the water on the ashes and
the dying embers.
Up there sprang a tall, white flame of fire, waving like a tongue of
light; and forth from the heap jumped the most beautiful, strong, funny,
black cat that ever was seen!
It was Frank as he had been in the vigour of his youth; and he knew the
prince at once, and rubbed himself against him and purred.
The prince lifted up Frank and kissed his nose for joy; and a bright tear
rolled down on Frank’s face, and made him rub his nose with his paw in the
most comical manner.
Then the prince set him down, and he ran round and round after his tail;
and, lastly, cocked his tail up, and marched proudly after the prince into
the castle.
“Oh, Frank!” said Prince Prigio, “no cat since the time of Puss in Boots
was ever so well taken care of as you shall be. For if the fairy water
from the Fountain of Lions can bring you back to life—why,
there is a chance for Alphonso and Enrico!”
Then Prigio bustled about, got ready some cold luncheon from the
store-room, took all his fairy things that he was likely to need, sat down
with them on the flying carpet, and wished himself at the mountain of the
Firedrake.
“I have the king now,” he said; “for if I can’t find the ashes of my
brothers, by Jove! I’ll!—”
Do you know what he meant to do, if he could not find his brothers? Let
every child-guess.
Off he flew; and there he was in a second, just beside poor Alphonso’s
garden-engine. Then Prigio, seeing a little heap of grey ashes beside the
engine, watered them with the fairy water; and up jumped Alphonso, as
jolly as ever, his sword in his hand.
“Hullo, Prigio!” cried he; “are you come after the monster too? I’ve been
asleep, and I had a kind of dream that he beat me. But the pair of us will
tackle him. How is Molinda?”
“Prettier than ever,” said Prigio; “but anxious about you. However, the
Firedrake’s dead and done for; so never mind him. But I left Enrico
somewhere about. Just you sit down and wait a minute, till I fetch him.”
The prince said this, because he did not wish Alphonso to know that he and
Enrico had not had quite the best of it in the affair with the monster.
“All right, old fellow,” says Alphonso; “but have you any luncheon with
you? Never was so hungry in my life!”
Prince Prigio had thought of this, and he brought out some cold sausage
(to which Alphonso was partial) and some bread, with which the younger
prince expressed himself satisfied. Then Prigio went up the hill some way,
first warning Alphonso not to sit on his carpet for fear of accidents
like that which happened to Benson. In a hollow of the hill, sure enough
there was the sword of Enrico, the diamonds of the hilt gleaming in the
sun. And there was a little heap of grey ashes.
The prince poured a few drops of the water from the Fountain of Lions on
them, and up, of course, jumped Enrico, just as Alphonso had done.
“Sleepy old chap you are, Enrico,” said the prince; “but come on, Alphonso
will have finished the grub unless we look smart.”
So back they came, in time to get their share of what was going; and they
drank the Remora’s very good health, when Prigio told them about the
fight. But neither of them ever knew that they had been dead and done for;
because Prigio invented a story that the mountain was enchanted, and that,
as long as the Firedrake lived, everyone who came there fell asleep. He
did tell them about the flying carpet, however, which of course did not
much surprise them, because they had read all about it in the Arabian
Nights and other historical works.
“And now I ‘ll show you fun!” said Prigio; and he asked them both to take
their seats on the carpet, and wished to be in the valley of the Remora.
There they were in a moment, among the old knights whom, if you remember,
the Remora had frozen into stone. There was quite a troop of them, in all
sorts of armour—Greek and Roman, and Knight Templars like Front’ de
Bouf and Brian du Bois Gilbert—all the brave warriors that had tried
to fight the Remora since the world began.
Then Prigio gave each of his brothers some of the water in their caps, and
told them to go round pouring a drop or two on each frozen knight. And as
they did it, lo and behold! each knight came alive, with his horse, and
lifted his sword and shoute:
“Long live Prince Prigio!” in Greek, Latin, Egyptian, French, German, and
Spanish,—all of which the prince perfectly understood, and spoke
like a native.
So he marshalled them in order, and sent them off to ride to Falkenstein
and cry:
“Prince Prigio is coming!”
Now, just as they were forming a procession to march into church, who
should appear but the queen! Her majesty had been travelling by post all
the time, and, luckily, had heard of none of the doings since Prigio,
Benson, and the king left Gluckstein. I say luckily because if she
had heard of them, she would not have believed a word of them. But when
she saw Alphonso and Enrico, she was much pleased, and said:
“Naughty boys! Where have you been hiding? The king had some absurd story
about your having been killed by a fabulous monster. Bah! don’t tell me.
I always said you would come back after a little trip—didn’t I,
Prigio?”
“Certainly, madam,” said Prigio; “and I said so, too. Didn’t I say so?”
And all the courtiers cried: “Yes, you did;” but some added, to
themselves, “Healways says, ‘Didn’t I say so?’”
Then the queen was introduced to Lady Rosalind, and she said it was
“rather a short engagement, but she supposed young people understood their
own affairs best.” And they do! So the three pairs were married, with the
utmost rejoicings; and her majesty never, her whole life long, could be
got to believe that anything unusual had occurred.
The honeymoon of Prince Prigio and the Crown Princess Rosalind was passed
at the castle, where the prince had been deserted by the Court. But now it
was delightfully fitted up; and Master Frank marched about the house with
his tail in the air, as if the place belonged to him.
Now, on the second day of their honeymoon, the prince and princess were
sitting in the garden together, and the prince said, “Are you quite
happy, my dear?” and Rosalind said, “Yes; quite.”
But the prince did not like the tone of her voice, and he said:
“No, there’s something; do tell me what it is.”
“Well,” said Rosalind, putting her head on his shoulder, and speaking very
low, “I want everybody to love you as much as I do. No, not quite so very
much,—but I want them to like you. Now they can’t, because
they are afraid of you; for you are so awfully clever. Now, couldn’t you
take the wishing cap, and wish to be no cleverer than other people? Then
everybody would like you!”
The prince thought a minute, then he said:
“Your will is law, my dear; anything to please you. Just wait a minute!”
Then he ran upstairs, for the last time, to the fairy garret, and he put
on the wishing cap.
“No,” thought he to himself, “I won’t wish that. Every man has one
secret from his wife, and this shall be mine.”
Then he said aloud: “I wish to SEEM no CLEVERER THAN OTHER PEOPLE.”
Then he ran downstairs again, and the princess noticed a great difference
in him (though, of course, there was really none at all), and so did
everyone. For the prince remained as clever as ever he had been; but, as
nobody observed it, he became the most popular prince, and finally the
best-beloved king who had ever sat on the throne of Pantouflia.
But occasionally Rosalind would say, “I do believe, my dear, that you are
really as clever as ever!”
And he was!
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