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Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs ) 10:41, 10 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
This article is in good shape. A few comments:
Lead
link subaltern, second lieutenant and major general
Y Done, except that major general is already linked in the first sentence. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 11:52, 10 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
First Australian Imperial Force should probably just be Australian Imperial Force, that was what it was called and he didn't live to see the 2nd
Y True, but oddly enough the term "First AIF" was indeed used in 1914. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 11:52, 10 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
"as a candidate as a..." should probably be "as a candidate for the... in the Senate"
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 11:52, 10 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
Victorian Police strike should either be Victoria Police strike or Victorian police strike. Victoria Police has always been the proper name. I know, the article is incorrectly titled.
Y Very well. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 11:52, 10 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
Special Constables should be in initial lower case, also link
Y Done. Didn't know there was an article. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 11:52, 10 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
should probably mention he suffered from mental illness and took his own life
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 11:52, 10 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me ) 10:55, 10 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
Early life
Harold Edward "Pompey" Elliott is a bit incongruous, as he wasn't called that until later. I'd introduce the nickname at the appropriate chronological point.
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 03:57, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
"the farms acquired outright" there is only mention of the family farm, were there others?
Y Yes, there were multiple properties. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 03:57, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
suggest putting Elsinore in quotes instead of in italics, then be consistent with the later named residences
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 03:57, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
suggest "Australian colonial governments"
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 03:57, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
link Other ranks (UK ) and drop initial caps
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 03:57, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
"that of hie" should be "that of his"
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 03:57, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
link football to Australian rules football
Already linked. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 03:57, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
down on Market Street seems a bit informal
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 03:57, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
suggest "since they would now"
Y Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 03:57, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me ) 03:09, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
Gallipoli campaign
"taking particular care over the selection of officers" seems to be missing something. Maybe "with Elliott taking particular care over the selection of officers."?
Y Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 09:17, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
in the caption of the desert training pic, McNicol needs another L
Y Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 09:17, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
suggest replacing "He believed" with "Elliott believed", as we then go on to McCay's views
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 09:17, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
suggest splitting the sentence "loyalty from his men. He acquired the nickname..."
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 09:17, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
"the 7th Battalion moved into the positions at captured" needs a tweak
Y Tweaked. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 09:17, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
the is an example of "the War", should probably be "the war"
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 09:17, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
Suez Canal
drop initial cap on Evacuation
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
suggest "he was appointed to command the 1st Infantry Brigade,[26 ] with the rank of brigadier general, vice Brigadier General Nevill Smyth, who was being promoted."
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
Western Front
British Expeditionary Forcestaff
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
drop caps on no man's land and link
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
"Elliott was made a" - was he given these awards for Fromelles? The way it is presented, it seems that way.
Yes. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
What attack was this? "Ordered to make an attack that he didn't believe would succeed, he refused" It begs the question.
Flers. Added. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
"the retreated to the Hindenburg Line" Germans?
Germans. Added. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
you could drop 1917 from "end of September 1917"
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
"Elliot was mentioned in despatches." is missing a t.
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
for "its "altogether astonishing valiance""?
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
suggest "command of a division in favour of John"
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
Political service
"With considerable justice, Elliott that he was sidelined" needs a tweak
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
Death
"post traumatic stress disorder" and "major depressive disorder" don't need quotes
Y Removed. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
the External link to Mallett's bio isn't working/timed out
Y Works for me. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
the following need a US PD tag - File:Harold Pompey Elliott portrait.jpg, File:7th Battalion AIF arrives in Egypt.jpg, File:Pompey Elliott H15590.jpg, File:Elliott's horse Darkie.jpg, File:Pompey Elliott E02855.jpg
File:Pompey Elliott with Talbott Hobbs.jpg needs a PD-Aust tag as well as a PD US one
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk ) 12:10, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
I'm done. Great work as usual. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me ) 07:56, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Reply
This article is well-written, verifiable using reliable sources, covers the subject well, is neutral and stable, and is illustrated by appropriately licensed images with appropriate captions. Passing. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me ) 00:18, 12 April 2017 (UTC)Reply