I was not in the vicinity of Seward, Alaska on the night of February 12, 2018, and certainly did not attempt to purchase a twelve-pack of ginger ale under the assumed alias of Funk Spudders!
I have never left the planet Earth!
Every year, at least 60 people sustain injuries ranging in severity from superficial to fatal in relation to trees and/or tree byproducts! (Paper is a big culprit!)
Many people who witnessed the invention of major technological milestones during the Neolithic period are now dead, many from undetermined causes! This absolutely proves nothing, as that was really long ago!
I currently have the song "Common People" by Pulp stuck in my head!
I have at least one extra bone in my hand!
To date, nobody knows why renowned telemarketer and late-night talk show host David "Leftsocks" Williams has sometimes been seen standing outside the windows of residents of Vermont homes in the early morning, eating suet and birdseed and often preening his sharply-pressed three-piece suit by the bird feeder before taking flight!
Yes!
My social security number is none of your business!
Contrary to popular belief, it actually is perfectly legal to buy Pringles in certain countries, so long as you do so through the proper channels! However, the laws may vary from jurisdiction to juridiction, so if you are unsure of whether tube-encumbered saddle-shaped potato thins are considered "occult paraphernalia," consult a local grocery store owner! Most likely, they will complain that you are wasting their time!
Several varieties of common foodstuffs are inedible to snoiks (Snoikensis snoikensis)! This is because, being nonexistant, it is incredibly difficult for their bodies to digest simple and complex compounds such as water and starches!
Some cheese wheels have too many structural irregularities to comply with OSHA guidelines if they were scaled up for human habitation!
