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Thought for possible inclusion in the article: Gerry died on February 82008. "That's a sad passing that not a lot of people will understand," said Kyle Petty. "Gerry was the last connection to Alan we had." [1]Royalbroil17:25, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I added the stat table after discussion with Royalboil. I also did a quick skim of the article with thoughts of FA in the future. Several items come to mind.
The personal life section should be expanded if possible.
In the 1980's section of the Winston Cup career, the statement: In 1985, Kulwicki sold most of his belongings (so that he could not change his mind),[23] including his short track racing equipment, to move halfway across the nation to the Charlotte area in North Carolina. It seems to me that the move was more north/south than across .. perhaps "moved over 3,000 miles" (or whatever the actual distance is" would be more descriptive.
I removed the redundant information. I was SOOOOO happy when I was able to convince someone to change the license on the flickr image to Creative Commons! The only allowed Creative Commons are Share Alike and Attribution. Non-commercial and No-derivatives are not allowed. Neither is "All Rights Reserved." So I convinced the person to change from All Rights Reserved to Attribution ShareAlike. I've been able to convince about 50% of people to change the license on an image. I make sure that I pick images where the person is active. Every once and a while I get an email from a person that I asked 6 months ago. That doesn't work very well! Royalbroil23:08, 23 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
In the first paragraph, I think it is over worded with 'after'. Maybe 'followed' would be a better word to use for some sentences. Nascar1996 04:35, 3 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
First off, some reference-related comments that will save time later. Reference titles shouldn't be in all capital letters. Right now, references 4, 25, 27, 30, 33, 36, 41, 68, 69, and 75 have this problem.
References that are from printed publications should have the publisher italicized, while those that are not shouldn't. Several references from newspapers like The New York Times and the Milwaukee Journal should have these italics for the publisher, while ref 60 (ESPN) should have the publisher italics removed.
Several citations use pp. for a single-page references, when p. should be used instead. If you're using the cite templates, the fix is simple: change the pages= parameter to page=.
Spell out the publisher of reference 67 (IROC). You may also be asked to spell out NASCAR at some point; I'll leave it to you to determine if that's necessary.
The one reference that's a dead link is from the Augusta Chronicle. I remember having a link from that site go dead in an article I worked on, and I was able to repair it. Before coming back here, I'll investigate and see if a replacement for this link can be found. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 01:59, 25 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The two references to "ESPN race coverage" is in italics because it uses the Template:Cite episode. Why does this template italicize when it's designed for television episodes?
From what I can tell, it does seem like episode titles are supposed to be italicized. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Ones like reference 60 are what you should focus on. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 17:58, 28 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]
IROC is spelled out in the article. Does it need to be spelled out in the references again?
I know that I need to check all of the references to make sure that they work. I know there's a tool which checks all of them simultaneously, I'll check it out.
Thank you for your help so far. There's no time limit and I'm in no rush to get it done. I'd especialy like to know if the grammar is solid and if the writing is good enough (especially flow). Royalbroil02:26, 27 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]
First off, I left a couple responses above, so please take a look at them. I will go through the article and leave comments as I notice various items while reading.
I've only read the lead as I type this, but everything that's in the lead should be somewhere in the body, and all of the sections should be represented in the lead. Also, if a fact is cited in the body, it usually doesn't have to be cited in the lead. In an ideal world, the only thing that would be referenced in this lead is the quote towards the end.
Early life: If there is any more information avaliable on his childhood, you should add it, because that's one of the most frequent complaints I see about sports articles at FAC. Even something as seemingly minor as his parents' names, if avaliable (I see his father's name in a New York Times reference), would help.
Racing career: I found this extremely close paraphrase while checking the aforementioned NYT article. NYT: "and Kulwicki's resourcefullness was tested just getting his kart to the track." Wikipedia: "so Kulwicki's resourcefullness was often tested trying to find someone to transport his kart to the track." Virtually the same except for a few words thrown in in the middle. If there's one thing I would implore you to do now, it's to check the rest of the article for close paraphrasing like this, no matter how long it takes. People are now looking for this at FAC, and if there are other similar problems, no amount of prose comments I can give will help the article pass.
1980s: The Milwaukee Mile was already linked in the Early life section. You can go without one here.
"he had an mechanical engineering degree when few other drivers had completed college". "an" → "a".
Hardee's doesn't need to be linked twice in six words. In fact, I think "#32 Ford team sponsored by Hardee's" would eliminate a prose redundancy, which is a good thing.
"with his highest finish being thirteenth." This is a "noun plus -ing" sentence structure, which is commonly criticized at FAC. I have backed off a bit on commenting on this myself, but it still gets brought up occasionally. A simple fix would be "and his highest finish was thirteenth." That gives a nice past tense, in addition to fixing the structure. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 17:58, 28 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for your work so far. I was concerned, without checking into it, if I had done close paraphrasing. Please stop the review. I'll address that problem before you check any farther. Like you said, it probably will take me significant time. I saw the HUGE firestorm that ensued at DYK from some FAC people and I have been very concerned that heavy artillery would be thrown at me. Royalbroil 02:06, 29 December 2010 (UTC) p.s. The problem that I've never understood is how close is too close? If you can certain key words then you change the meaning too far from the source. Wikipedia:Close paraphrasing, an essay which mean it's not even a guideline, tells you what to not do. Not what to do. I've read the essay dozens of times and I want to do what's ethical. Royalbroil02:19, 29 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]
If you see a sentence, or passage of a sentence, that is very close in wording, structure, or both, that is a close paraphrase. The presence of certain keywords in both the source and the article is a factor, and is an indication that re-wording is needed in an article. In the issue I found, you had "resourcefullness was tested" and a similar structure in both, and that is why I was concerned enough to comment, because that is too close. The best thing you can do is compare the article to all of the sources that you can. If something looks too close, and isn't a piece of boilerplate like "Kulwicki was born in...", re-phrase it. It will take time to do this, but if you're truly worried it's the best way to go. When you're ready for me to review more, please let me know. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 22:42, 30 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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I think that the Kulwicki Driver Development Program (KDDP) should be split into its own article. I started it as a section when it was in its first year, but now the KDDP has grown in content as it has been around for several years. How about it being a small section in the article with a hatnote, then listing the winners plus a few notable non-winners. Royalbroil13:34, 1 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I have given the page an extensive look over, searching for any possible improvement that could be made to the page. Here is the list of observations I made:
Lead section
"arrived at NASCAR" closely paraphrases source three. Maybe "began racing in NASCAR" would be better?
I think it should be noted for perspective that the 50 Greatest Drivers list was released in 1998
The exact link to source number five does not source the perfectionist claim, but the "extended bio" of the Polish-American HOF does.
The link to source 6 kicks me to a blank page. Hopefully there's an archived copy of the article somewhere.
Early life
Source 8 doesn't specifically say Greenfield, but I don't know if that's a major issue.
Might want to make a perspective note that his mother died when Alan was in second grade since the time of his grandmother's death is mentioned.
Early racing career
The link to source 12 is dead.
Source 1 doesn't verify the information it is supposed to cite - maybe it's a misplaced citation?
There could be concerns about whether the first two sentences in the second paragraph are outside the scope of the article.
Sources 21, 22, 29, 32, 35, 37 and 38 are dead links, maybe replace it with a Racing-Reference citation?
The (Did Not Finish - DNF) part seems a bit redundant to me.
1990s
Sources 39 and 42 are dead links much like the ones in the 1980s section
Source 40 is a dead link; hopefully there's an archive of it somewhere
1990/1991 offseason seems a bit lacking on inline citations, even if they are just reusing other ones
1992 championship
Source 45 is a dead link that could be replaced with a Racing-Reference link
Sources 48 and 49 are dead links
The archive link for source 50 shows a blank page
Merely personal opinion, but I think that the "championship honors" section is a bit small and should be eliminated as a subheading, it makes sense in the context of the season.
1993 championship
I think the heading is a little misleading, casual readers could think that he won another title in 1993. Personally, I would change it to "1993 season" since it's still under the NASCAR section.
9th should be ninth according to whatever style guide I was taught in high school
Death
Source 62 does not cite the Interstate 81/Blountville location
Source 64 is a dead link, although it might be available on Newspapers.com
Source 65 is a dead link
Source 67 is a dead link, likely replaceable with source 59. I'd argue that the inclusion of that sentence is a tad redundant and could be swapped for one stating just how soon after the championship he died.
Source 68 is a dead link
I had trouble accessing sources 69, 70 and 71, I tried multiple times and the pages would not load in my browser.
Legacy
I don't know if the map of the park falls in the appropriate external links usage.
Some link between the Kulwicki scholarship and the opening of the motorsports program should be mentioned (in my opinion)
Source 82 is a dead link
Lowe's Motor Speedway should be changed to Charlotte Motor Speedway since the naming deal expired
Source 90 is a dead link
Might want to find a more current source than source 92, if not, I think it will be okay
Source 93 is a dead link
Last paragraph should be sourced just for the sake of avoiding any claims of "it's not true" or whatever
Development Program: I'm embarrassed to admit that I wasn't watching the page at the time that the note was posted here. I agree that the section is getting unruly, I don't know if it would reach GNG, in part because so much of what you see is actually just really good Tom Roberts PR material. Either way, I think it should be trimmed down to the just first paragraph. I can't think of a driver offhand that has advanced to another level singularly because of the KDDP; if that has happened, maybe a note about that would be good.
Overall, a lot of the issues are dead links that should be fairly easy to work around. It's very well-written with maybe two or three total grammatical errors.
This article has several uncited paragraphs. Is anyone willing to take a look and add citations for these? @Royalbroil: as the GA nominator, would you be interested? If no one is interested, I think this should be nominated to WP:GAR. Z1720 (talk) 22:40, 29 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
