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I revised the following paragraph (second paragraph of career section):
Original:
In 2007-2009, Markwell led a curriculum review at the University of Western Australia which proposed significant curriculum reform, which was implemented as "New Courses 2012".
Revised:
From 2007 to 2009, Markwell led a curriculum review at the University of Western Australia. The review proposed significant curriculum reform; it was implemented as "New Courses 2012".
Is this okay? It’s still not entirely clear what "New Courses 2012" is. Is this the name of the curriculum reform?
The following sentence (third paragraph of career section) may need to be revised for clarity:
The appointments of several new Rhodes Trustees from around the world included John McCall MacBain, who was later recognized as the "Second Century Founder" of the Rhodes Trust for a gift of £75 million.
Possible revision (but only if all of the facts are true):
Markwell appointed several new Rhodes Trustees from around the world, including John McCall MacBain, who was later recognized as the "Second Century Founder" of the Rhodes Trust in recognition of his gift of £75 million.
I have revised the following sentence for clarity:
Original:
He is credited with helping to initiate the review of undergraduate women's leadership at Princeton University chaired by Nannerl O. Keohane, and helping to open all-male scholarships in South Africa to women.
Revised:
He is credited with helping to initiate the review of undergraduate women's leadership at Princeton University, chaired by Nannerl O. Keohane, and of helping to make scholarships in South Africa open to women.
Is this okay?
The last part of this sentence (middle of writings section) may need to be revised for clarity. The clause “including the reserve powers” seems tacked on, and it’s unclear what it applies to. Is it another focus of Markwell’s writings?
Markwell's writings in political science and public law have been especially concerned with constitutional issues, including federalism, constitutional conventions in the Westminster system, and the monarchy and republicanism in Commonwealth countries, including the reserve powers.
The following sentence (middle of writings section) should be revised so that it clearly states which Governor General had a state memorial service, and which had a funeral. The way it is written now, it’s unclear. The last clause of this sentence is also lacking in information, and could be improved by elaborating on what writing “on the office of Governor-General” entails.
He spoke at the state memorial service or funeral of two Governors-General of Australia (Sir John Kerr and Sir Zelman Cowen), and has written on "the office of Governor-General".
In the Publications section, there is one entry that may need to be revised (A public life: The memoirs of Zelman Cowen). This publication appears to have been written by Sir Zelman Cowen, although the article does say that Markwell worked closely with Cowen in the writing of it. I recommend a comment be added that explains this.
The following publications should be revised:
Donald Markwell (2009), Keynes and International Economic and Political Relations, Trinity Paper No. 33, Trinity College, University of Melbourne. (city of publication missing)
Donald Markwell (2010), The need for breadth: on liberal education and the value of university residential colleges, Ashley Lectures, Trent University, Canada. (city of publication missing. If city is unknown, then “Canada” should appear before “Trent University”, for consistency [city of publication followed by name of publisher])
The last three publications (all with Connor Court as publisher) should have a city of publication added to them for consistency.
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