I will review this article against the GA criteria. I will try to post some comments here today, but am having some connection issues at the moment, so if it takes a couple of days please accept my apologies. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 22:57, 13 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
General comments
Overall, this is an excellent article. I have a few observations, not necessarily all tied to the GA criteria:
a few possible examples of overlink: Egypt, Brigadier General, Major General (Australia), University of Sydney, Colonel, Edmund Herring, Prime Minister of Australia, Commonwealth of Nations, Field Marshal (United Kingdom);
"he did not rejoin his battalion until February 1916, in Egypt". This might be a little clearer as: "he did not rejoin his battalion until February 1916, by which time it had been withdrawn back to Egypt";
"He was given the brevet rank of major in the 26th Infantry Battalion on 3 June 1918". This confused me a little, wasn't he already a lieutenant colonel? Perhaps this should be clarified?
"Mackay's appointment to the AIF was terminated". To the lay person "terminated" might be seen to mean "fired", when it probably wasn't the case. Perhaps it could be clarified that this was part of the demobilisation process, if that was in fact the case?
for names, I think it would be normal Australian style to only use a person's first and last names unless it was absolutely necessary, or unless the person was actually known as that. For instance, "George Alan Vasey" should probably just be "George Vasey";
"Mackay resolved to reform the battalions that had been destroyed in Greece, and to rebuild his shattered division". When did this occur? Perhaps it should be stated that this occured after the division had been evacuated to Alexandria?
"If Mackay had been in any way deceived by the grandiloquence of his". I wonder if this quote shouldn't be introduced. For instance, "According to the official historian, Dudley McCarthy..."
"Mackay submitted a plan in which he outlined a strategy whereby the army would concentrate on the defence..." I think that some context needs to be provided here. Why did he submit this plan? I assume because he was concerned about the Japanese movement south towards Australia and was making contingencies in case of invasion?
"Regular officers took the opportunity to give Mackay a number of petty snubs." Why? I assume because of the tension that existed between the regulars and part-timers, but it probably needs to be explained. AustralianRupert (talk) 06:22, 14 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"File:Iven Mackay.jpg": there might be a problem with the licence for this image. Unfortunately, it seems that according to the AWM, the file is still copyrighted:[1]. AustralianRupert (talk) 06:28, 14 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Itcontains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
a(tagged and captioned): b(Is illustrated with appropriate images): c(non-free images have fair use rationales): dpublic domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain: