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Talk:Kenneth Strong/GA1




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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
 

< Talk:Kenneth Strong

GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: JonCatalán(Talk) 23:33, 10 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

  • I did some copyediting, at varying degrees, throughout the text. Generally, it is good, although I would look for slightly incorrect word usage (for example, some verbs have incorrect endings).
  • As per above, a lot of incorrect words that result from quick typing—understandable, but for future reference (when preparing this article for A-class, or even FA-class) keep a look out for those.
  • "Smith and Strong, representing SHAEF, along with Major General Ivan Susloparov, representing the USSR, Prince Bernhard of Lippe-Biesterfeld, representing the Dutch government, and Major General Sir Francis de Guingand, from 21st Army Group, met with Seyss-Inquart in the Dutch village of Achterveld on 30 April. " → This is a very complex sentence... I think it would read better if you replaced part of it as follows, "... along with Soviet representative Major General Ivan Susloparov, Dutch representative Prince Bernhard of Lippe-Biesterfeld...". That way there are not so many commas breaking up the sentence, and making it very difficult to read.
  • "Unfortunately, both were written before the Ultra secret was revealed in 1974." → Why is this unfortunate? What is the relation?
  • Language is clear and concise enough. If looking to go to A-class and/or FAC, I'd suggest asking someone for a quick copyedit, as per above.
  • Article is stable.
  • Referencing is fine.
  • Images check out.

JonCatalán(Talk) 23:54, 10 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]


Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Kenneth_Strong/GA1&oldid=389969003"





This page was last edited on 10 October 2010, at 23:54 (UTC).

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