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This article was the subject of an educational assignment in Spring 2015. Further details were available on the "Education Program:University of Texas, Austin/History of Pentecostalism in the Americas (Spring 2015)" page, which is now unavailable on the wiki.
It might be a little cleaner if the {{reflist}} section was called Notes. The References section would only have full citations those that use the author and page citation style such as Borlase, AF, Robeck 2006, Espinosa, Robins 2010, and Synan. Regular cites would remain in article and appear under notes along with the the author and page citations. As it is, one has to scan the section to find Espinosa as they are out of order. It would be a challenge to make sure the full reference is the first mention. By the way, column sizes are automatic so (em=250) is no longer needed.
I haven't had time to carefully read the article fully but I am a little confused by the following reference:
Bartleman, Azusa Street, 47, 54. Is this the same as AF?
Here's what I found concerning the Bartleman reference: There are a number of books with the title Azusa Street by Frank Bartleman. They are compilations of the same thing, but the pages are different. I have three of those books and none of them match the reference. Since it would be a primary source anyway, I used the secondary source, Robeck. He makes the same point. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Misterniceguy (talk • contribs) 14:19, 6 April 2018 (UTC) Misterniceguy (talk) 14:27, 6 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Generally, a Wikilink should appear only once in an article, but if helpful for readers, links may be repeated in infoboxes, tables, image captions, footnotes, and at the first occurrence after the lead. Roman Catholic is not linked till the third mention at the very end of the article. Fettlemap (talk) 19:39, 7 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Good point. Thanks. I'll go through the article when I get the bulk of it finished and get the links in compliance with Wiki standards. I appreciate the help! Misterniceguy (talk) 19:44, 7 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The flames of revival at Azusa burned brightly until 1908.
I am not an expert but this is not an encyclopedic style. This would appear in an article or book but not on Wikipedia. After reading Words to watch, one could look for more instances of such language. Fettlemap (talk) 19:56, 7 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I'm about finished with the research portion of the rewrite. It'll need some proofing, formatting, suggested changes, etc. I'll start proofing next week sometime, but help from other editors is appreciated. Pictures are worth a thousand words if anyone can contribute. I hope to submit this as a good article. Misterniceguy (talk) 16:31, 14 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
References are now formatted. I spent a lot of time, so I hope I preserved the reference information while formatting. Fact checking and copy edits would be appreciated. Misterniceguy (talk) 14:20, 5 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I think it meets the criteria pretty well except for the first, "well written." I'll keep at the copy editing as I have opportunity, and if other folks pop up as a result of the GA nomination, so much the better.--John Foxe (talk) 13:39, 4 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks Ltwin. I appreciate your time and suggested changes. I'll get started revising. Most of my work will probably be done this weekend, but hopefully I can knock some of the little things off the list in the next couple days. Misterniceguy (talk) 17:14, 26 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I have reviewed this article according to the requirements of the GA criteria and have placed the article on hold until the following issues are addressed.
Well written
The lead section is only 1 sentence long. MOS:LEAD states that "The lead should stand on its own as a concise overview of the article's topic." A good lead section should probably be at least 2 paragraphs but no more than 4.
I rewrote the lead to give a summary of his life and influence. The only concern I have is labeling Parham is a Pentecostal minister because there was no established "Pentecostal" faith back then. However, I think the text supports and explains the statement. I can change it if needed. Misterniceguy (talk) 16:13, 30 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Suggestion: It might be better to remove the style "Rev." from the first sentence per MOS:HON, and it seems out of character for early Pentecostalism, in which participants rejected religious titles and called everyone brother and sister.
You need to spell out that the "Baptist church that the family likely attended" was the New Providence one because the way it is written currently makes it seem as if there were two Baptist churches he attended.
The 3rd paragraph needs to be copy edited. There is redundant information; for example, we are told twice that Seymour met Charles Price Jones.Misterniceguy (talk) 14:52, 30 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The last sentence in paragraph 3 should be moved to the 4th paragraph, since it fits with that information better.
When discussing Parham’s doctrine, you need to mention and link to baptism in the Holy Spirit because speaking in tongues was never the goal itself but only as a sign of Spirit baptism.
"Houston was especially receptive to Parham's teaching, and in the summer of 1905, he made the city his base of operations." – This sentence is slightly confusing. On first reading, "Houston" sounds like a person who likes Parham’s teachings.
The 3rd sentence of the 5th paragraph under "Early career" suggests that Parham and Seymour were praying together for his Spirit baptism, but the sources cited don't say that. Robeck writes that Seymour sought the baptism but did not receive it during his time working with Parham.
I made a few changes. I brought the sentence more in line with Robeck. I also added that Parham only permitted Seymour to preach to blacks. This helps explain their rift later on. Misterniceguy (talk) 16:19, 29 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Throughout the "Azusa Street Revival" section the word "spirit" needs to begin with a capital letter because it refers to baptism in the Holy Spirit.
"another African American's house owned by Richard Asberry" – Is Richard Asberry the African American who lived in the house or someone else? The sentence is unclear.
Is the paragraph-long quote from R. G. Robins necessary? Couldn't anything important in it be put in Wikipedia’s own words in a much more concise manner?Misterniceguy (talk) 15:28, 30 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
**Lake, "Origins of the Apostolic Faith Movement," 3.
Lake, "Origins of the Apostolic Faith Movement," 3; Irwin, "Charles Price Jones," 45.
AF (December 1906): I; AF, "The Same Old Way," 3; AF, Bible Pentecost," I; Bartleman, Azusa Street, 47, 54.
If "AF" is The Apostolic Faith', keep in mind it and Bartleman’s book are not reliable secondary sources. You can include these in a "Further reading" section as primary sources, but they should not be used for purposes of verifying information in the article.
"while enduring racial discrimination—an experience that may later have encouraged him to emphasize racial equality at the Azusa mission." – I couldn't find support for this last statement in the citation given.
The second paragraph under "Early career" needs to be checked against Robeck. Robeck does not say that Seymour was definitively a student of Knapp's (I also don't see where he says they were "close associates"). Robeck states that it was "likely" Seymour attended the Bible college.
You made a good point. I reread Robeck and added Synan to the reference. I also added "probably" and removed "close associate." I think he was, but I've exhausted my research on this point. Here are a couple quotes: "Three important factors must have attracted Seymour to study at 'God's Bible School'".(Robeck p=33) "Seymour may have briefly attended 'God's Bible School'"(Synan, p=32) "By the late 1890's, his (Seymour) closest association appears to have been with Knapp and Rees's International Holiness Union and Prayer League, whose God's Bible School he reportedly attended.(Robins, p=25) "Though precise details have yet to be documented about Knapp's direct direct impact on Seymour's theology, there appears to be general consensus among scholars that Knapp did have an effect on him."(Synan, p=32) "He sat at the feet of a number of Wesleyan holiness teachers over the years over the previous half dozen years - among them Martin Wells Knapp..."(Robeck, p=62) With these in mind, I think this warrants a "probably". :) Misterniceguy (talk) 17:00, 29 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
On Parham, the article claims he was an "important figure" in the holiness movement. Is there a reliable source for this? The sources I'm aware of paint him and early Pentecostals in general as on the fringes of the holiness movement.
All the sources associate him in some way with the holiness movement because that is where most of his audience came from. However, I removed that statement in my copy edit because the new Parham material covers that statement. Misterniceguy (talk) 14:24, 30 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Broad coverage
The sections on the revival and its decline are quite long. For ease of reading, you might want to consider dividing these sections further.
"There is no doubt that Seymour started the Azusa Street Revival that gave rise to all modern Pentecostal faiths." (Legacy and influence) – This sounds promotional. Also, the source used is from an online article that is a dead link. There are better sources available to establish the centrality of Azusa Street to Pentecostal origins. Perhaps you could replace this sentence with something like "All major Pentecostal denominations trace their origins to Azusa Street" or something similar.
This was an informative article that covered all the main aspects of Seymour's life. There were some issues with sourcing, verification and prose that need to be addressed before this article can be passed. Ltwin (talk) 06:02, 26 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Ltwin, thanks for the review and all the suggestions. Thanks also to John Foxe for his editing. I think I took care of all of the concerns. The article is much improved and ready for a final review. I'll be watching for any more suggestions. Misterniceguy (talk) 16:19, 30 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]