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Population Genetics
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| Whenever I get a package of M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
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| Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser" and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
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| I have found that, in general, brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack food world.
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| Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
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| When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars Inc., along with a 3 x 5 card reading "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
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| This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free ½ pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can only be one.
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Author Unknown, found in a U of T BIO150 Lab Manual
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