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(Top)
 


1 1st Missouri Field Battery  



1.1  Support from Gog the Mild  





1.2  CommentsSupport by PM  





1.3  Comments by Wehwalt  





1.4  SandyGeorgia  





1.5  Support Comments by Z1720  
















Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/1st Missouri Field Battery/archive1







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< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promotedbyEaldgyth via FACBot (talk) 15 January 2021 [1].


1st Missouri Field Battery[edit]

Nominator(s): Hog Farm Bacon 04:26, 4 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Another Missouri CSA unit, a topic I find fascinating but most of humanity probably finds dry as dirt, so many thanks in advance to all reviewers! This one was an artillery battery formed in 1862. Unlike my recent FAC of Landis's Missouri Battery, this one lasted the rest of the war. Some of its members were executed after the Battle of Jenkins' Ferry in 1864, which is probably the most unusual incident in a generally undistinguished service history. Hog Farm Bacon 04:26, 4 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Gog the Mild[edit]

Recusing coordinator duties to have a look at this. Gog the Mild (talk) 11:41, 14 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Possibly put it a bit earlier, either in Background or 1862?
Hog Farm I suspect that we need a separate discussion on this. That is a good start re technical specifications, but still throws around terms that can only be understood by reading the Wikilink (smoothbore, case shot) and activities the advantage of which is not clear (rifling, fired with a greater trajectory). I think that you need to go right back to basics. And you have not yet touched on crewing, tactics. manoeuvrability, etc. I feel for you, I have just had to explain how the constraints of German military parachute technology constrained them tactically at the Battle of Heraklion; and am still trying to recover from the lengthy "Opposing forces" section in Battle of Crécy. And let's not even think about having to explain galley tactics! But at the moment you have an article on an artillery battery in which a reader needs to know nothing at all about the cannons, which doesn't seem right to me. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:31, 15 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Ping me when you have worked through Gog's concerns, and I will do the MilHist for Dummies review. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 20:16, 15 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Gog the Mild and SandyGeorgia: - I'll be taking any further commentary on getting the cannons stuff to where it needs to be to the talk page for this FAC, so as not to clog up the page here. Hopefully I can start on that tomorrow. Hog Farm Bacon 05:37, 16 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Gog the Mild (talk) 12:29, 14 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

OK. This is looking good.

Gog the Mild (talk) 20:23, 11 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

It reads well. Good work. Supporting. Gog the Mild (talk) 10:35, 12 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

CommentsSupport by PM[edit]

Ping me once you've addressed Gog's points. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 04:23, 16 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

OK, will start my review now:

I note that the internet seems to have eaten my last comment. Or I am losing it. I initially misread Peacemaker67's comments as an intention. I now understand them to be an offer. PM, I think that the article needs some level of detail on the battery's weaponry. If you were to produce a draft paragraph, the other reviewers could comment on how far away, if at all, it is from their ideal? Gog the Mild (talk) 22:43, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good to me too. Gog the Mild (talk) 14:06, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Reading through now. I have struck out some words that I consider redundant, and underlined a word I want to add (because grooves was struck out.) If this was inappropriate an editor can revert my edit. What is meant by and two effectively obsolete 6-pounder smoothbores. Can we make that more definitive? Are they obsolete, considered obsolete by this time, or maybe they were considered much less effective by a newer model? I checked ref 3 and verified the inforamtion. Z1720 (talk) 17:23, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
They were considered to be generally obsolete, but remained in use to some extent. Not sure the best way to make that more definitive without getting too wordy. Hog Farm Bacon 17:29, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I can't think of better wording either, so let's keep effectively. Z1720 (talk) 17:36, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
IMO the technically correct word is wikt:obsolescent. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:08, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Changed to obsolescent. Hog Farm Bacon 18:14, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
OK, I think that is a great outcome, and will give you a bit of a model for future artillery battery articles. I'll get started with my full review shortly. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 20:16, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

That's my lot. Great job thus far. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 22:50, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent job, supporting. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 04:42, 12 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Wehwalt[edit]

I've made a few hands-on edits, feel free to revert any you don't like.
  • What is a "greater trajectory"?
  • I've switched it out to "greater arc", is that clearer?
The prose seemed a bit wordy, and I made some effort to correct that where I could, but I'm not really that versed on military matters. That's about it.--Wehwalt (talk) 20:06, 26 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Wehwalt - I've replied to the two points made so far above. Thanks for reviewing. I'm about to be on a week-long wikibreak, so it'll probably be awhile before I can address any new concerns. Hog Farm Bacon 02:00, 27 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
That's fine. I want to see what things look like when the reviewers above get done, though I am leaning support. Enjoy your break.--Wehwalt (talk) 12:46, 29 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Support On looking again.--Wehwalt (talk) 17:32, 11 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

SandyGeorgia[edit]

Done. I suggest removing all of the armament info <somewhere> and linking to it as needed. That's all! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 20:35, 31 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments by Z1720[edit]

This is not a boring article, as indicated in your nomination. I am not knowledgable in military battalions or weaponry so this review will be from a "non-expert" perspective. I'll start with the prose, which only produced a few problems:

  • I have commented on the discussion. I will wait for its result before suggesting changes.

That's my first round of the prose. I will do a second read-through and source review after the above are addressed. Please ping me when finished. Z1720 (talk) 17:12, 1 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Source Review - pass

I'm still new to conducting source reviews so this might be a slow process from my end. I appreciate your patience. I can verify that all the sources exist and I believe they are of high quality. I could access the sources listed below:

Formatting was checked with no concerns.

I would like to spot-check some scans from offline and paywall sources. Since direct quotes were not used in the article, can @Hog Farm: email me five scans of book pages, with each scan from a different book? Please don't use refs from the Armaments section (because of its ongoing discussion) and please select refs that you feel the least confident in or would want someone else to check. Thanks. Z1720 (talk) 17:32, 3 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll try to get you those tomorrow. I don't really have doubts about this, as I've been the primary contributor all the way, so I'll try to hit some of the most used pages. How does McGhee p 2, Shea 187, Johnson 199, Kennedy 233, and Forsyth 162 sound? Hog Farm Bacon 02:35, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Yeah that's fine, no rush. Z1720 (talk) 02:47, 4 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Z1720 - I've got scans ready for McGhee, Kennedy, and Forsyth. However, the email user thing won't let me attach files, so you'll need to send me a mostly blank wikimail and then I can attach the files on the reply. I don't have a scanner, so it's going to be rather grainy cell phone pictures. I hope to get to Shea and Johnson soon. Hog Farm Bacon 21:03, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Email sent. Grainy photos are fine if I can read the text I need to verify and see the page number. You can send them in multiple emails if you need. Z1720 (talk) 21:11, 7 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Forsyth 162 (ref 45) and Kennedy 233 (ref 31 a &b) have been verified. The third scan didn't include a page number so I don't know which source it goes to. Can this be clarified in the next email, when you send the other pages? Thanks! Z1720 (talk) 03:13, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Third scan was McGhee. I have tomorrow off work, so I should be able to get the last two. Hog Farm Bacon 03:15, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I am concerned about close paraphrasing in McGhee 2, ref 27a. because the order of information and paragraph structure is too similar. I think the prose can be condensed, summarized and sentences rearranged to avoid the close similarity. After this is done I will do a second readthrough. 27 f says Von Puhl's battery was defunct but this is not verified in the source. In 27 g, Ruffner's Battery was assigned four new cannons, all 6-pounder smoothbores is not verified. 27 b, c, d, e and g were checked and verified. I will continue the spot check when I receive the next email. Z1720 (talk) 17:12, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Z1720 - The one about the new cannons was an error where I meant to cite a page range and didn't get both pages down. McGhee p. 3 says The battery received new guns after the battle at Jenkins's Ferry, which consisted of four 6-pounder smoothbores. I've added another cite to another page of McGhee where it says that Von Phul's battery disbanded and gave its cannons to Ruffner's battery. Hog Farm Bacon 17:21, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I've also rewritten the 27a material. The Shea and Johnson scans have also been sent. Hog Farm Bacon 17:53, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
For those following along, ref 27 is now ref 22. I am satisfied with ref 22a. I will AGF that page 3 has that info. Shea 187 and Johnson 199 are verified. I am satisfied with my source review. I will do another prose readthrough later. Z1720 (talk) 19:20, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Prose part 2

Just one concern, listed below.

Since this is minor, I will give this a pass and support this FAN. Z1720 (talk) 19:49, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.

Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/1st_Missouri_Field_Battery/archive1&oldid=1109403238"





This page was last edited on 9 September 2022, at 16:46 (UTC).

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