This article is about... Billy Bates. Pinging @Hog Farm:, as they did a great pre-FAC review. I've expanded this over the past few days, and hopefully this meets FA criteria. Expanded with new sourcing and information after a Newspapers.com search and roundup. Therapyisgood (talk) 02:33, 25 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I'll wait to post a review to let some other editors look at this first, but I feel like my comments in the pre-FAC review and in the last FAC have been well-addressed. Hog FarmTalk 02:43, 25 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"William Derrick Bates was born on December 7, 1963, in Houston, Texas, to a paint foreman" - to my mind, being born "to" someone suggests that person was the mother. Presumably his mother wasn't a paint foreman?
The source doesn't say which parent was a paint foreman, so I've reworded in the article to just say "the son of a paint foreman". Therapyisgood (talk) 20:32, 26 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"He finished the season batting .296" - what does this mean?
It means he had a batting average of .296. I used "batting average" on first use now, clarified. Therapyisgood (talk) 20:57, 26 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"though Bates stated he played at shortstop and third base last year" => "though Bates stated that he had played at shortstop and third base the previous year"
To determine which team would represent the Central Regional in the College World Series (CWS), the Longhorns played against the Mississippi State Bulldogs; the Longhorns defeated the Bulldogs and advanced to the World Series. Redundant sentence
"and, in the 1984 College World Series, lost in the finale to the Cal State Fullerton Titans 3–1." >> "and lost 3–1 to the Cal State Fullerton Titans in the final game of the 1984 CWS."
the Sounds defeated the Buffalo Bisons when Chris Jones hit a double that scored Bates as the game ended after 18 innings. Too much going on in this clause
Reworked. 22:58, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
Add (NL) after "National League" in "National League West"; that way, you can say "1990 NL Championship Series"
"In Game 1, manager Lou Piniella put Bates in the game as a pinch runner for Ron Oester on first base in the bottom of the ninth inning with the Reds losing 4–3." >> "In Game 1, with the Reds down 4–3 in the bottom of the ninth inning, manager Lou Piniella put Bates in the game as a pinch runner for Ron Oester on first base."
I'll begin a review of this article very soon! My reviews tend to focus on prose and MOS issues, especially on the lede, but I will also comment on anything that could be improved. I'll post up some comments below over the next couple days, which you should either respond to, or ask me questions on issues you are unsure of. I'll be claiming points towards the wikicup once this review is over.
Lede
Surely he is a retired professional baseball player who played in the MLB, rather than just a former MLB player? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski(talk • contribs) 22:11, 31 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I feel the lede needs to cover a bit more about how he lost his place in the Reds after he won the playoff game. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski(talk • contribs) 22:11, 31 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Tried to rework to emphasize he was signed to a one-year contract with the Reds. Therapyisgood (talk) 21:37, 1 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Prose
The son of a paint foreman, Bates - just say "he" as all of his siblings are also Bates. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski(talk • contribs) 22:11, 31 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Corresponds to the inflation rate for 2020 for the contract offered to Bates by the Phillies. I used Template:Inflation to generate those numbers, and they're sourced to the footnote. Therapyisgood (talk) 19:56, 1 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
TL, you use this acronym once in the article, can you not just say "in the league"? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski(talk • contribs) 22:11, 31 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
There's so many acronyms in this article - did we need one for Disabled List? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski(talk • contribs) 22:11, 31 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"Bottom of the tenth inning" is proper American English, it's "inning", not "innings". Maybe an EngVar thing. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:38, 1 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I feel like the article is missing stats or something, other than just the career and personal life sections.Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski(talk • contribs) 22:11, 31 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I gave this a pretty thorough comprehensiveness check as a pre-FAC review, and I think it's pretty good on source comprehensiveness front unless I missed something
"LaVel Freeman". ESPN.com. ESPN. Retrieved August 2, 2013." - no need to have ESPN.com and ESPN, just ESPN should be enough
Did some spot checks as I went along, things were fine
This is a pass for all effective purposes, but I would like to see the two minor formatting things fixed. Hog FarmTalk 17:44, 27 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Hog Farm you posted above that you may be intending to do a full review, are you still planning that? (t · c) buidhe 00:12, 29 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@Buidhe: - I don't believe I'll have time to do a full review for this one. Hog FarmTalk 00:18, 29 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Go ahead. (t · c) buidhe 00:11, 29 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Closing note: This candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 12:18, 30 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.