Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of tallest buildings in Oklahoma City/archive1

Review by --Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 20:10, 14 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

• About the content (compare your list with List of tallest buildings in San Diego):
  • You have to provide coordinates for every single building.
  • Try to get images for as many buildings as possible (search flickr and commons). If there isn't a free image for each one than ask for permission from users on flickr. They usually agree to relicense if u ask politely and show that it's for a good cause.
  • Put more info in the notes (costs for construction, construction time ...)
  • Create a category on commons and link to it at the bottom of the list containing images of Skyscrapers in Oklahoma City.
• About the style:
  • "This list of tallest buildings in Oklahoma City" We don't do that anymore. Change it.
  • The third paragraph is only two sentences long. Make it longer.
  • Add non breaking spaces for the heights. I find putting the meters in brackets like 500 (152) better than the slash.
  • Spell out feet in the table.
  • The table in the second section should be turned into prose unless you have at least three buildings there.

Hey I've made a bunch of changes and I would like your feedback on them. Of course, I'm not done yet I'm still looking for images. Showtime2009 (talk) 17:10, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It would be best to type done next to everything you've done. Till now there are positive changes, many things are still to be done though. Here are other pointers:

• remove the future buildings template (the section title takes care of it).
• Wikilink Oklahoma City at the lead.
• Remove the See also section (the link could be handled in the lead)
• The lead has improved a lot, great work on that.
• Could u add a better introduction? The current one is a little direct.

--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 17:41, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hey I addressed the first four issues, however I'm not sure how to improve the intro. What specifically do you want to see done better? Showtime2009 (talk) 01:13, 19 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Great work until now. This list has gone truly a long way and improved a lot. I have however still some things to comment on:

• The lead is too direct. I meant by that that it goes right to the subject. I'd feel better if it were "Oklahoma city has more than 40 skyscrapers ...". It would be even better if u added an introduction with the history, tallest buildings and the number of skyscrapers in one paragraph.

I decided to move the second pargraph up front so what do you think? it is better?

• In the height column put "m" in brackets, remove the slash and add a non breaking space.

Done

• Replace the convert templates with the actual numbers without non breaking spaces, feet outside brackets and meters inside, don't add measure names (they're already included in the header and are just repetitive.)

Done

• The section "Tallest under construction, approved and proposed" would be better off merged in the lead. This would solve many structural problems.

Done

• The current panorama image isn't really one that illustrates the skyscrapers of Oklahoma city in a panoramic way (The main attraction isn't in the center and it can be cropped to only show the skyscrapers.) I therefore think that removing the image would be better.

Done

Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)

• "There are over 40 skyscrapers"-->There are more than 40 skyscrapers
• "In the city, there are 16 buildings that are taller than 200 feet (61 m)."-->In the city, 16 buildings stand taller than 200 feet (61 m).
• "in downtown Oklahoma City." No need to repeat "Oklahoma City".
• "fifth tallest building"-->fifth-tallest building
• "and sixth-tallest building"-->and the sixth-tallest building
• "which was Oklahoma City's first skyscraper"
• "With the discovery in oil in the area, the population of Oklahoma City grew at a significant rate."-->After oil was discovered in the area, the population of Oklahoma City grew significantly.
• "Other contemporary skyscrapers began forming on the north and west sides of Oklahoma City over time and eventually into the downtown area."-->Contemporary skyscrapers began to be built in the north and west sides of Oklahoma City, and later in the downtown area.
• "of it's kind"-->of its kind
• "The Devon Tower, which is expected to be completed in 2012" (multiple occurences)
• "21st-tallest in the United States" No hyphen (multiple occurences)
• "155 foot (47 m) dome"-->155-foot (47 m) dome tall or wide?
• "with a 17 foot (5 m) tall"-->with bronze Native American statue on top of the dome that was a 17 feet (5 m) tall.
• Em dashes (—) in blank table cells, please.
• "The 54-story building will amass over 1,900,000 square feet (177,000 m2)" "amass"-->occupy
• Why are feet and meters capitalized and linked in the tables? De-capitalize, and see WP:OVERLINK on linking common units of measurement. Dabomb87 (talk) 20:53, 18 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

All your suggestions are done. Regarding Em dashes (—) in blank table cells, please all the cells have now been filled. Showtime2009 (talk) 00:33, 19 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]