The following discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
You didn't read the article after you finished editing?
"However, in June 1946, So and become estranged from his military leaders and started the Dan Xa (Social Democratic Party)." Doesn't make sense.
His "career" is a description of the general circumstances and then starting out of a sudden "Ba Cut was one such commander of the Hoa Hao. He was feared by his enemies, described as "a sort of lean Rasputin"". Frankly, you have to restructure the article and find a more suitable caption. Next step, if you don't introduce somebody with birthdate and childhood, you have to mention that this is unknown and then mention since when the guy started making a career in this militaristic sect. That's the point where a career starts and it would make a nice second chapter after the background.Wandalstouring (talk) 11:16, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
You still haven't outlined why the French trusted him 5 times and you contradict yourself: "His sobriquet came from his self-amputation of a finger as a vow to defeat the Vietminh" vs. "despite his disloyalty and the fact that aged seventeen, he had cut off the top of his third finger to remind himself to always fight the French"
This allows two solutions: he made up the story why his ba was cut or the sources are contradictionary and as a plus you got a nice story about young Ba Cut that in a chronological order can serve as an introduction.Wandalstouring (talk) 11:16, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Ba Cut broke again from the Hoa Hao leadership in August 1954. That can't be again because you mention nothing about such an event at an earlier date.
Still doesn't work. Hoa Hao breaks apart, with Ba Cut as a leader of a subgroup, then Ba Cut is suddenly "the Hoa Hao leader "[who]"was openly contemptuous of the prime minister." and from this position he breaks with himself as the groups leader? Wandalstouring (talk) 11:16, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
You puzzle the reader. Ba Cut cuts his finger to remember fighting the French, but in fact he never fought them. That's interesting and it merits more background information whether the other factions were also not fighting the French. Wandalstouring (talk) 09:14, 3 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
