Tim Hughes (soldier)(edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)
6,537
This article is about a decorated Australian Aboriginal soldier of the Second World War who went on to achieve success in the soldier-settlement scheme after the war and was appointed MBE for his inaugural chairmanship of the Aboriginal Lands Trust. Not a lot of corporals with their own articles, but Hughes has his own entry in the Australian Dictionary of Biography. Have at it. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 08:33, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Perhaps change the "Aborginal" in the first sentence of the lead to "Aboriginal Australian"? I know that the former mostly always implies the latter but a clarification would still help.
"at the fifth grade": won't "till the fifth grade," be better?
"suffered with": "suffered from"?
Can we introduce in 1 or 2 words who Lowitja was in the lead and body, per NOFORCELINK?
"made a modest success of farming": "had modest success at farming"?
I reckon you would like to take this article to FAC. In that case, you should move around the lead a little so its length is 4 paragraphs instead of the current 3.
Why have we linked to South Australia in the body but not in the lead?
What was the reason for the first hospital stay in the Middle East?
"was recovered": "had recovered"?
Link to Wingfield?
"made a reasonable success of his farm": "had reasonable success at ..."?
Wouldn't the Tim Hughes stadium picture be better placed in the Post war section than in the footnotes?
Since we are using the 1993 edition for Wilmot, consider using ISBN 13 instead of 10, as done for all the other sources?
Consider adding images of the Battles of Tobruk, the Salient, Milne Bay and Buna Gona? For people who don't have many photograhps, I have seen photos od the events they were involved in being used on here.
