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This is a humorous essay.
It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously. |
BarnstaritisorComrade Brezhnev syndrome[a] is a disease of the brain directly related to use of barnstars. It will eventually result with the sufferer being a target of other users who may themselves be suffering from "tall poppy syndrome". Barnstaritis is closely related to editcountitis in that they share certain characteristics. Recent groundbreaking research has indicated that 70% of sufferers of editcountitis also suffer from barnstaritis.[1] There are two strains of barnstaritis, barnstaritis A and barnstaritis B.
Barnstaritis A is the desire to show off your barnstar(s) at nearly every possible opportunity ad nauseam, even when these opportunities are inappropriate.[2]
Barnstaritis B is the conscious decision to award barnstars to users whom you have only seen once as a meet and greet present and not for the reasons the barnstar was intended. Diagnosis of this strain is much harder and usually requires the patient to think deeply.[3]
It is important not to tease the editors with barnstars. Medically examine any potential cases to rule out the possibility that the patient in question is actually deserving of an award. ADHD, or Award Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is a related disorder.
Symptoms of barnstaritis A include:
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This user is significantly more likely to do what you want if you offer something shiny.
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Symptoms of barnstaritis B include:
Some reported cases of barnstaritis are said to show mixed features of both A and B. Some experts have argued that these reports are bogus and merely represent occult cases of barnstaritis A in which widespread gifting of barnstars represents a desperate attempt to receive some in return.
If you think you have barnstaritis, it is never too late to fix it; on the contrary, it is quite easy to. Some solutions include:
A fairly strong correlation (89%) can be found between the frequency of awarding barnstars by users and the mention of the word "edit count" by extended-confirmed editors. Similarly strong correlation can also be found for administrators, but not for newer editors who have a life.
There are reports for the emergence of further new variants, primarily, the New York Barnstaritis A variant (W.3.526) and the California Barnstaritis A variant (W.3.427/W.3.429) which are spreading rapidly.
To win an award, someone just has to write it on your name-page. To give an award, you just have to decide someone deserves one, and then give it to them. Don't hesitate, just give one in the typical wiki fashion.
