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Wikipedia:Please be a giant dick, so we can ban you

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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This is a humorous essay.

It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously.

Shortcuts

WP:GIANTDICK

WP:DICKERY

WP:PBAGDSWCBY

This page is intended as humor. It is not, has never been, nor will ever be, a Wikipedia policy or guideline.
Rather, it illustrates standards or conduct that are generally not accepted by the Wikipedia community.

This page in a nutshell: Linking to, editing, reading or even thinking about this page are indefinitely blockable offenses.

Giant Dick

Lately, it has come to our attention that some people are being only slightly dickish, rather than either not being dicks at all, or being giant dicks (who can be banned).

This is a request for members of the Wikipedia community to cease mild dickery: either desist with being a dick altogether, or become a gigantic dick so that immediate banning becomes justified.

Sometimes, it's a matter of perspective.

Examples[edit]

Each example states a form of mild dickery along with suggestions as to what to do if you choose the "become a giant dick" (BGD) or the "cease all dickery" (CAD) paths.

Engage in veiled personal attacks.

BGD: Start calling everyone NAZIS!

CAD: Apologize and try to avoid all personal remarks in the future.

Delete images without removing the resulting redlinks, and then claim you're too busy deleting more images to go back to remove said redlinks.

BGD: Keep deleting images randomly, creating a large number of redlinks.

CAD: Follow the "what links here" button and remove all links to the image you're deleting.

Revert only three times a day against your opponents in an edit war.

BGD: Revert 180 times a day against your opponents in an edit war (ew!).

CAD: Try to compromise, or at least use Wikipedia:Dispute resolution.

Fail to source information properly and clearly.

BGD: Begin sourcing extensively, using "reliable" founts of knowledge such as Stormfront, Encyclopedia Dramatica, or even (gasp) other Wikipedia articles as references.

CAD: Begin sourcing extensively, using reliable founts of knowledge such as academic journals, works published by field experts, and reputable media as references.

Lightly haze newbies.

BGD: Report any new editor to a controversial article on Wikipedia:Administrator intervention against vandalism, regardless of the fact that they were (accurately) correcting spelling errors. Make sure, when reverting, to use edit summaries like "Reverting vandalism".

CAD: Try to be friendly to newbies, and help them avoid common pitfalls.

Squeeze a few choice words into your edits.

BGD: Whenever editing, use highly offensive profanity or language explicitly intended to offend people.

CAD: Always be sure to use appropriate language, and try not to offend anyone.

Start a single-purpose account to push your particular point-of-view, while carefully adhering to the letter of all Wikipedia policies and making a few token edits to other articles to muddy the issue.

BGD: Within 24 hours of creating your account, revert on the same article at least twenty times, and when you inevitably get blocked, continue to abuse the unblock template until you lose access to your user talk page.

CAD: Get some Wiki-experience editing articles you don't feel passionately about first, and only return to the hot button articles once you feel comfortable with the consensus-building process.

Fail to keep Wikipedia neutral.

BGD: Keep an article one-sided and make sure it states only one point of view. Don't forget the profanity.

CAD: When editing, make sure that the article shows all sides of the issue while giving them due weight.

Fail to fix double redirects when moving pages.

BGD: Keep moving pages around randomly, creating long chains of redirects in the process.

CAD: Whenever you move a page, use the What links here feature to find any double redirects and fix them.

Engage in highly offensive vandalism, but only do it once a week, and make sure to blank the warnings on your Talk page so that your pattern of vandalism goes unnoticed for months.

BGD: Replace as many pages as possible with racial slurs/homophobic slurs/phallic references/scatological references.

CAD: Um... don't vandalize?

Ignore or erase concerns about your edits or other actions.

BGD: Tell anybody who questions your actions “Because I said so”, or even to "go fuck themselves".

CAD: Be willing to justify and civilly discuss your actions.

Post unnecessarily verbose comments and responses, partially consisting of only tenuously relevant issues, in discussions.

BGD: Respond to every single comment by repeatedly flooding pages with enormous reams of text without paragraphing while ensuring you not only discuss the original topic but also touch on the article subject and attack everyone around you, and when asked to truncate your comments respond with equally impenetrable screeds.

CAD: Ensure contributions to discussions are clear, concise, and address the matter at hand while allowing others to make their points as well.

Fail to fill in the edit summary.

BGD: Use the edit summary to make personal attacks on other editors, laced with plenty of profanity, and include some links to malware and shock sites for good measure. Or, just not put an edit summary at all.

CAD: Use the edit summary to describe accurately, concisely and civilly what changes you are making.

What's the point of this page, then?[edit]

A perfectly normal water tower

In all seriousness, being a dick on a small scale can be more damaging over the long term – to both yourself, and others – than being a large scale one, for the simple reason that it is easier to recognise that calling people "NAZIS", for example, is a personal attack, than it is to recognise that saying that a person's "opinion can probably be discounted, as he appears to support Wikipedia attack sites" is also a personal attack. Therefore, it is harder to discover and to handle.

The damage to the individual by behaving like a dick is quite real, by the way. By being a dick, they will tend to make more enemies, and alienate their friends and allies. Furthermore, even moderate "dickery" may lead them to ultimately getting themselves blocked, and even banned, if it goes on long enough. Extreme dickery just has a shorter lifespan.

See also[edit]

Wikipedia essays (?)

Essays on building, editing, and deleting content

Philosophy	Article content Articles must be written All Five Pillars are equally important Avoid vague introductions Be a reliable source Civil POV pushing Cohesion Competence is required Concede lost arguments Dissent is not disloyalty Don't lie Don't search for objections Editing Wikipedia is like visiting a foreign country Editors will sometimes be wrong Eight simple rules for editing our encyclopedia Explanationism External criticism of Wikipedia Here to build an encyclopedia Leave it to the experienced Levels of competence Most ideas are bad Need Neutrality of sources Not editing because of Wikipedia restriction The one question Oversimplification Paradoxes Paraphrasing POV and OR from editors, sources, and fields Process is important Product, process, policy Purpose Reasonability rule Systemic bias There is no seniority Ten Simple Rules for Editing Wikipedia Tendentious editing The role of policies in collaborative anarchy The rules are principles Trifecta Wikipedia in brief Wikipedia is an encyclopedia Wikipedia is a community Wikipedia is not RationalWiki
Article construction	100K featured articles Abandoned stubs Acronym overkill Adding images improves the encyclopedia Advanced article editing Advanced text formatting Akin's Laws of Article Writing Alternatives to the "Expand" template Amnesia test A navbox on every page An unfinished house is a real problem Articles have a half-life Autosizing images Avoid mission statements Be neutral in form Beef up that first revision Blind men and an elephant BOLD, revert, discuss cycle Build content to endure Cherrypicking Chesterton's fence Children's lit, adult new readers, & large-print books Citation overkill Citation underkill Common-style fallacy Concept cloud Creating controversial content Criticisms of society may be consistent with NPOV and reliability Deprecated sources Dictionaries as sources Don't demolish the house while it's still being built Don't get hung up on minor details Don't hope the house will build itself Don't panic Don't "teach the controversy" Editing on mobile devices Editors are not mindreaders Encourage the newcomers Endorsements (commercial) Featured articles may have problems Formatting bilateral relations articles Formatting bilateral relations templates Fruit of the poisonous tree Give an article a chance How to write a featured article Identifying and using independent sources History sources Law sources Primary sources Science sources Style guides Tertiary sources Ignore STRONGNAT for date formats Inaccuracy Introduction to structurism Mine a source Merge Test Minors and persons judged incompetent "Murder of" articles Not every story/event/disaster needs a biography Not everything needs a navbox Not everything needs a template Nothing is in stone Obtain peer review comments Organizing disambiguation pages by subject area Permastub Potential, not just current state Presentism Principle of Some Astonishment The problem with elegant variation Pro and con lists Printability Pruning article revisions Publicists Put a little effort into it Restoring part of a reverted edit Robotic editing Sham consensus Source your plot summaries Specialized-style fallacy Stub Makers Run an edit-a-thon Temporary versions of articles Tertiary-source fallacy There are no shortcuts to neutrality There is no deadline There is a deadline The deadline is now Try not to leave it a stub Understanding Wikipedia's content standards Walled garden What an article should not include Wikipedia is a work in progress Wikipedia is not a reliable source Wikipedia is not being written in an organized fashion The world will not end tomorrow Write the article first Writing better articles
Writing article content	Avoid thread mode Copyediting reception sections Coup Don't throw more litter onto the pile Gender-neutral language Myth vs fiction Proseline Use our own words We shouldn't be able to figure out your opinions Write the article first Writing about women Writing better articles
Removing or deleting content	Adjectives in your recommendations AfD is not a war zone Arguments to avoid in deletion discussions Arguments to avoid in deletion reviews Arguments to avoid in image deletion discussions Arguments to make in deletion discussions Avoid repeated arguments Before commenting in a deletion discussion But there must be sources! Confusing arguments mean nothing Content removal Counting and sorting are not original research Delete or merge Delete the junk Deletion is not cleanup Does deletion help? Don't attack the nominator Don't confuse stub status with non-notability Don't overuse shortcuts to policy and guidelines to win your argument Follow the leader How the presumption of notability works How to save an article proposed for deletion I just don't like it Identifying blatant advertising Identifying test edits Immunity Keep it concise Liar liar pants on fire Nothing Nothing is clear Overzealous deletion Relisting can be abusive Relist bias The Heymann Standard Unopposed AFD discussion Wikipedia is not Whack-A-Mole Why was the page I created deleted? What to do if your article gets tagged for speedy deletion When in doubt, hide it in the woodwork No Encyclopedic Use

Essays on civility

The basics	Accepting other users Apology Contributing to complicated discussions Divisiveness Don't retaliate Edit at your own pace Encouraging the newcomers Enjoy yourself Expect no thanks High-functioning autism and Asperger's editors How to be civil Maintaining a friendly space Negotiation Obsessive–compulsive disorder editors Please say please Relationships with academic editors Thank you Too long; didn't read Truce Unblock perspectives We are all Wikipedians here You have a right to remain silent
Philosophy	A thank you never hurts A weak personal attack is still wrong Advice for hotheads An uncivil environment is a poor environment Be the glue Beware of the tigers! Civility warnings Deletion as revenge Failure Forgive and forget It's not the end of the world Nobody cares Most people who disagree with you on content are not vandals Old-fashioned Wikipedian values Profanity, civility, and discussions Revert notification opt-out Shadowless Fists of Death! Staying cool when the editing gets hot The grey zone The last word There is no Divine Right of Editors Most ideas are bad Nothing is clear Reader The rules of polite discourse There is no common sense Two wrongs don't make a right Wikipedia clichés Wikipedia is not about winning Wikipedia should not be a monopoly Writing for the opponent
Dos	Assume good faith Assume the assumption of good faith Assume no clue Avoid personal remarks Avoid the word "vandal" Be excellent to one another Beyond civility Call a spade a spade Candor Deny recognition Desist Discussing cruft Drop the stick and back slowly away from the horse carcass Encourage full discussions Get over it How to lose Imagine others complexly Just drop it Keep it concise Keep it down to earth Mind your own business Say "MOBY" Mutual withdrawal Read before commenting Settle the process first
Don'ts	ALPHABETTISPAGHETTI Wikipedia:Because I can Civil POV pushing Cyberbullying Don't accuse someone of a personal attack for accusing of a personal attack Don't be a fanatic Don't be a jerk Don't be an ostrich Don't be ashamed Don't be a WikiBigot Don't be high-maintenance Don't be inconsiderate Don't be obnoxious Don't be prejudiced Don't be rude Don't be the Fun Police Don't bludgeon the process Don't call a spade a spade Don't call people by their real name Don't call the kettle black Don't call things cruft Don't come down like a ton of bricks Don't cry COI Don't demand that editors solve the problems they identify Don't drink the consensus Kool-Aid Don't eat the troll's food Don't fight fire with fire Don't give a fuck Don't help too much Don't ignore community consensus Don't knit beside the guillotine Don't make a smarmy valediction part of your signature Don't remind others of past misdeeds Don't shout Don't spite your face Don't take the bait Don't template the regulars Don't throw your toys out of the pram Do not insult the vandals Griefing Hate is disruptive Nationalist editing No angry mastodons just madmen No Nazis No racists No Confederates No queerphobia No, you can't have a pony Passive aggression POV railroad Superhatting There are no oracles There's no need to guess someone's preferred pronouns You can't squeeze blood from a turnip UPPERCASE
WikiRelations	WikiBullying WikiCrime WikiHarassment WikiHate WikiLawyering WikiLove WikiPeace

Essays on notability

Humorous essays

About essays

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